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04/02/2004: Ghostbusters II Slimer Candy!

New acquisitions:

On my last trip to one of the closing KB stores, I couldn’t help but notice that the wares seemed a whole lot older than what was available during my last excursion. Since they were closing, I guess there was no moral code regarding what could be sold — whatever was still sitting in that stockroom was dusted off one last time, with huge blazing red clearance stickers to boot. Most of the stuff wasn’t too notable (unless you’re huge on Earthworm Jim figures, of which they had nearly 42,000), but “Ghostbusters II” Slimer candy? From 1989? At 50% off the already marked down 4/1.00 price, I snatched an entire box for — drumroll — three bucks. I don’t have much need for two dozen Slimer candy heads, but I refused to leave without that cool display box.

Each Slimer candy head is molded in a lightweight green plastic, posed in such a way that each Slimer looks like he’s squeezing his giant tits. Interestingly enough, they’ve based it on Slimer as he was seen in the movies, instead of the cartoon show which was probably a safer bet for kiddy candy. Not sure what to do with all of these, but if I ever need to smuggle drugs into a comic convention…

The candy, as it usually does in cases like this, sucks. Slimer’s sweet wafers alternate between being branded with the “Ghostbusters II” logo and Slimer himself. The box illustrates the candy as being all cool and character-shaped, but when you open up the heads, it’s just a bunch of crappy chalk discs. I doubt that Slimer — a perennial crowd pleaser — would’ve OK’ed this one if given the opportunity to pull a slimy veto.

For those curious, these originally retailed for 69 cents a piece. I envision many a happy-go-lucky teenage stockboy giggling about the price’s connotations as a sexual position, invariably leading to discussions about whether Rick and Sigourney really did it or not. And then there boss would catch and fire them. And then they’d forever be known as the boys who lost their jobs because they couldn’t stop talking about Rick Moranis getting and giving oral simultaneously. I bet those boys are dead now.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 71 comments

Hell yea, I remember these, I used the slimers to house important little kid stuff…I remember the candy tasting like fruity ass.

Ghosted by MintGreenGoblin @ 04/02/2004 11:24 AM EST


Matt, there were only two things I was absolutely sure about in my life- my faith, and my certainty that I would never devote a single brain cell to speculation about Rick Moranis’s sex life. And you have now blown one of those to smithereens. You are a bad, bad man.

Ghosted by The Lucky One @ 04/02/2004 11:33 AM EST


Any candy in a novelty promotional tie-in container usually was evil enough to offset the coolness of the container shape. And, go to deleted scenes on the GB DVD for Dana having to tell the li’l accountant that nothing happened. Over and over. And over. And over. Make of it what you will.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 11:47 AM EST


Come on, you saw the look on her face.

Ghosted by Matt @ 04/02/2004 11:48 AM EST


Also, *snort*, Slimer tits. hee.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 11:49 AM EST


I used to put Nerds in the Slimer head as a far superior replacement candy.

Ghosted by BaronVonHotPants @ 04/02/2004 12:28 PM EST


Do you think they did it when they were Terror Dogs?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 12:58 PM EST


I don’t recall ever seeing these. Now that I have, I wish I had one.

Ghosted by Aubrey @ 04/02/2004 1:26 PM EST


Hey, are these for sale?

Ghosted by Ryan @ 04/02/2004 1:27 PM EST


That would be some weird demon sex.
He was the Keymaster, she was the Gatekeeper. Jesus, do I have to draw you guys a picture?

Ghosted by Stilewalker @ 04/02/2004 1:33 PM EST


Either way, Rick SO nailed Annie Potts.

Ghosted by Stilewalker @ 04/02/2004 1:34 PM EST


Yeah, I gave him some French bread pizza. Passed right out.

Ghosted by Annie Potts @ 04/02/2004 1:34 PM EST


Stilewalker’s right… actually, if you think about it, the sad thing is that Rick Moranis got more ass in those movies than any one of the Ghostbusters. Akroyd had that female dream ghost in the first, Murray got Sigourney, but that’s it- Rick had Sigourney, Annie, AND probably that ditzy blonde he was with at that party. The guy is a machine.

Wait, I lied- Ramis and Akroyd slept with the ooze in the second one. Okay, but still… all of Rick’s girls were actual humans. Most of the time.

Ghosted by The Lucky One @ 04/02/2004 1:45 PM EST


Staypuft Marshmallow Man > Slimer.

That is all.

Ghosted by Meatwad @ 04/02/2004 1:56 PM EST


And not a peep from Gozer. Aim for the flattop!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 2:35 PM EST


The candy looks like Necco Wafers, and Necco Wafers are generally acknowledged as the worst candy ever. Possibly next to Good N’ Plentys.

Ghosted by Hellpop! @ 04/02/2004 2:59 PM EST


Necco Wafers are also one of the oldest candies that survives from "ye olden days"

Oh, and I like the Game Boy bubble gum. That was the ultimate character-based candy for me.

Ghosted by Cameron @ 04/02/2004 3:03 PM EST


make new articles mat
I are board

Ghosted by NEw articleese @ 04/02/2004 3:13 PM EST


HEY! Good & Plenty are great. Licorice!!!

Ghosted by Mr. Goode E Plenty @ 04/02/2004 4:01 PM EST


You could sell ‘em to us geeks!

Ghosted by Kristal @ 04/02/2004 4:20 PM EST


Good n’ Plentys are on my list of fave movie candy/ammo to toss at random movie goers. Top ammo is Red Hots. I don’t have enough nerve to chuck a cheese-covered soft pretzel. But I will drop a Junior Mint from a balcony while shouting "Kramer?!" Movie candy rules.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 4:25 PM EST


Responding to The Lucky One: Weren’t Egon (Ramis) and Janine (Annie Potts) an item in the first movie? But I heard that Janine switched to Rick Moranis in the second film because the writers changed a lot of things up, so the movie would more closely match "The Real Ghostbusters" cartoon. (Were they a couple in that show? It’s been too long since I’ve seen it…)

Ghosted by Aberration @ 04/02/2004 5:07 PM EST


She was always after Egon in the cartoon until after the second movie. They added Tully to the group and he and Janine would go on interrupted dates. I want a NCEA Samhain figure.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/02/2004 5:14 PM EST


I guess we can only wonder what crazy adventures lie ahead of the "Slimer Army". I only hope the ‘Joes control them.

Ghosted by Chia Pet @ 04/02/2004 5:14 PM EST


"We could play Super Mehrio Brothers."

Ghosted by Teirusu @ 04/02/2004 5:21 PM EST


Respondong to Aberration responding to The Lucky One: Egon & Janine? No way! Egon didn’t have time for women, unless they were freaky librarian ghosts. Janine tried to hit on him, but it basically went over his head.

Janine didn’t date anybody in the cartoon, I believe. She bitched at Venkman, and Venkman flirted with her. Slimer tried to kiss people, but they just ended up slimy and feeling dirty. Oh, I can relate! Wowza! Zing! Whammo!

Ahem. Did Rick and Signourney have enough time to do it as demon dogs? Did Gozer do it with the marshmellow man?

There should be a Ghostbusters sequel.

Ghosted by Deathfrogurt (formerly Alt-Tab) @ 04/02/2004 5:33 PM EST


Sweet score, Matt. But I pray that you don’t eat them. I mean, I wonder, do they taste like Necco wafers? If they do, and they’re that old, they’ve gotta be shit. I’d rather give a blow job to Slimer than eat those. Well…not really, but you get the point.

Speaking of giving blow jobs to slimer, and sex amongst Ghostbuster characters in general, I wonder if Slimer ever got any. Maybe he screwed the Staypuft Marshmallow man. Or maybe I’m just thinking about this to heavily. Thanks a lot, Matt!

Ghosted by Nate @ 04/02/2004 5:38 PM EST


Oh yeah, I look Good n’ Plenty as well, and don’t see how anyone could hate it. I never understood why people typically hate black licorice, because I’ve loved it for years. I especially love licorice liqeurs like Sambuca and Ouzo. I also like black licorice ice cream, which I’ve had only once. Yum.

Ghosted by Nate @ 04/02/2004 5:44 PM EST


I’ve got nothing against Neccos, and at least these don’t look as bad as the American Gladiators candy after all these years, but still. You’ve got to start eating food that expired within the last ten years, Matt. You’ll live longer.

As for "Ghostbusters"…yeah, Janine made a very obvious play for Egon in the first film, but he completely missed it. If Venkman ever got his hands on Weaver, we don’t see it.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 04/02/2004 9:53 PM EST


Matt, that last paragraph is the best piece of writing I think these eyes have ever viewed. "I bet those boys are dead now." Pure hilarity.

Ghosted by Aaron @ 04/02/2004 10:50 PM EST


"There should be a Ghostbusters sequel"

XDXDXDXDXD The CANDY is from Ghostbusters II.

Any way the answer was really "yes", but Dana said "No. No. No.

No."

Like stated, check the DVD.

Ghosted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 04/02/2004 11:06 PM EST


Hmm. Slimer candy. Can’t say I recall this little bit of candy history, but then again, I was a late Ghostbusters fan, not getting into it till the video copies at the local Blockbuster got dusty. Than I stopped not seeing them and started loving them.

80’s Cartoon Villian Battle Royal!

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 04/02/2004 11:43 PM EST


I don’t know why I keep GETTING those Necco wafers. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to taste any better the next time… and I still glance over and think, "Hmm, maybe I’ll get those." WHY?!

Ghosted by Amanda Swiftgold @ 04/03/2004 1:45 AM EST


I bet it is because of heroin.

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 04/03/2004 1:56 AM EST


I’m totally jealous. i have one of these candy heads that are alf shaped. I would love a slimer one to go with it… I’m hitting up my local kay-be to see what I can find.

Ghosted by chad @ 04/03/2004 2:47 AM EST


A few nights back it was real late and I was on AIM and you popped on but then signed off before I could even get over my shock and glee at seeing you show up on my buddy list. My disappointment knows no bounds.
I would have bought the hell out of all 42,000 Jims. I really miss watching that show, along with Freakazoid!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 04/03/2004 2:50 AM EST


Why are SO MANY CANDIES made of that crap. I just don’t know why??

Ghosted by Well @ 04/03/2004 4:33 AM EST


"A few nights back it was real late and I was on AIM and you popped on but then signed off before I could even get over my shock and glee at seeing you show up on my buddy list. My disappointment knows no bounds."

Haha! I know what THAT’S all about. Matt, I put your AIM name on my buddy list, and late one night, REAL late one night you actually signed on. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thrilled knowing that the guy who continually churns out humorous articles on He-Man and Star Wars was on AOL Instant Messenger THE SAME EXACT TIME THAT I WAS, but I do, anyways. Being "thrilled" by that ain’t something I’m proud of…

I wanted to tell someone, which I eventually ended up doing, which eventually ended up in comments of "Who are you talking about…?" and "He writes for XE? Is that a porn site?"

Feel special, Matt — you’re a celebrity!

Ghosted by Bobby... @ 04/03/2004 5:54 AM EST


"’There should be a Ghostbusters sequel’

XDXDXDXDXD The CANDY is from Ghostbusters II."

I meant there should be another sequel with an otherworldly orgy in it. Context people, context!

Ghosted by Deathfrogurt @ 04/03/2004 6:38 AM EST


Matt, you’ve managed to get me to think about Rick Moranis’ penis. I now hate you. Your site’s still cool, but you must die. Or, at least be forced to eat a couple of those chalk wafers.

Ghosted by LordKaT @ 04/03/2004 12:24 PM EST


Whatever encounters Tulley had, he could write them off as business expenses. Jean Kasem most likely counted as exercise equipment.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/03/2004 3:00 PM EST


ADVENT CALANDER!!! NOOOO!!!! CHIA PLOT!!!! Are you afraid of completeion matt? none of your articles seem to have definate endings, it’s just kinda a all-in-all random number and basics you like, but no denumont? I don’t like loose ends, finnish them, they squeal to be finnished!!!

Ghosted by brandon @ 04/03/2004 3:19 PM EST


C’mon, who wasn’t already thinking about Rick Moranis’ sex life when he uttered the immortal line "I bet she gives great helmet!" ?

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 04/03/2004 3:22 PM EST


What’s faster, Ludicrous Speed or Infinite Improbability?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 04/03/2004 4:08 PM EST


Infinie Imporbability, because in the most improbable of all situations you are actually everywhere in the Universe at once.

HGttG rules!

Ghosted by Freezair @ 04/03/2004 9:00 PM EST


K- I don’t want to scare you, but from those pictures, that candy was NOT just dug out of the mothballs.

See the numbers in the corner of the price tag? The "09" and "3"? That’s KB code for when the stickers were issued, in this case- Sept of last year. This means one of two things. This candy was just sent to the store in Sept, or they changed the price then to try and actively sell it. Either way- Ew.

Ghosted by A KB Employee... @ 04/03/2004 10:07 PM EST


Yes Freezair, but the Bistromatic Drive is still faster.

Odd note about Good & Plentys…in a study done a few years ago, women identified the smell of these awful tasting candies as the most erotic of a variety of scents they were given to sample.

I just don’t understand women at all.

Ghosted by Hellpop! @ 04/03/2004 10:22 PM EST


In case you have not heard, Freezair:
http://douglasadams.se/movie/
Watch some great videos by director Garth Jennings of Hammer & Tongs:
http://www.tongsville.com/cinemahtml/cinema.html

Ghosted by ME @ 04/04/2004 1:23 AM EST


"Why are SO MANY CANDIES made of that crap. I just don’t know why??"

Because after licensing fees and (sometimes not-so) meticulous container development and production… There is no time/money to make a worthwhile candy on the most part. Sad but true.

Ghosted by KouHotaru @ 04/04/2004 3:09 AM EDT


Very well Mr. Matt, no Chia Plot today either. Well I’m sure it’ll be something to read once it is up. For the mean time i’ll entertain myself by singing along to every song on my WinAMP playlist. ALthough i’ll be in a blissfull state of ignorence of not being able to hear my own voice and imagining I sing as well as the singers coming out of my headphones.

Ghosted by Mr. James @ 04/04/2004 3:16 AM EDT


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