X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

04/02/2004: Ghostbusters II Slimer Candy!

New acquisitions:

On my last trip to one of the closing KB stores, I couldn’t help but notice that the wares seemed a whole lot older than what was available during my last excursion. Since they were closing, I guess there was no moral code regarding what could be sold — whatever was still sitting in that stockroom was dusted off one last time, with huge blazing red clearance stickers to boot. Most of the stuff wasn’t too notable (unless you’re huge on Earthworm Jim figures, of which they had nearly 42,000), but “Ghostbusters II” Slimer candy? From 1989? At 50% off the already marked down 4/1.00 price, I snatched an entire box for — drumroll — three bucks. I don’t have much need for two dozen Slimer candy heads, but I refused to leave without that cool display box.

Each Slimer candy head is molded in a lightweight green plastic, posed in such a way that each Slimer looks like he’s squeezing his giant tits. Interestingly enough, they’ve based it on Slimer as he was seen in the movies, instead of the cartoon show which was probably a safer bet for kiddy candy. Not sure what to do with all of these, but if I ever need to smuggle drugs into a comic convention…

The candy, as it usually does in cases like this, sucks. Slimer’s sweet wafers alternate between being branded with the “Ghostbusters II” logo and Slimer himself. The box illustrates the candy as being all cool and character-shaped, but when you open up the heads, it’s just a bunch of crappy chalk discs. I doubt that Slimer — a perennial crowd pleaser — would’ve OK’ed this one if given the opportunity to pull a slimy veto.

For those curious, these originally retailed for 69 cents a piece. I envision many a happy-go-lucky teenage stockboy giggling about the price’s connotations as a sexual position, invariably leading to discussions about whether Rick and Sigourney really did it or not. And then there boss would catch and fire them. And then they’d forever be known as the boys who lost their jobs because they couldn’t stop talking about Rick Moranis getting and giving oral simultaneously. I bet those boys are dead now.

Hell yea, I remember these, I used the slimers to house important little kid stuff…I remember the candy tasting like fruity ass.

Matt, there were only two things I was absolutely sure about in my life- my faith, and my certainty that I would never devote a single brain cell to speculation about Rick Moranis’s sex life. And you have now blown one of those to smithereens. You are a bad, bad man.

Any candy in a novelty promotional tie-in container usually was evil enough to offset the coolness of the container shape. And, go to deleted scenes on the GB DVD for Dana having to tell the li’l accountant that nothing happened. Over and over. And over. And over. Make of it what you will.

That would be some weird demon sex.
He was the Keymaster, she was the Gatekeeper. Jesus, do I have to draw you guys a picture?

Stilewalker’s right… actually, if you think about it, the sad thing is that Rick Moranis got more ass in those movies than any one of the Ghostbusters. Akroyd had that female dream ghost in the first, Murray got Sigourney, but that’s it- Rick had Sigourney, Annie, AND probably that ditzy blonde he was with at that party. The guy is a machine.

Wait, I lied- Ramis and Akroyd slept with the ooze in the second one. Okay, but still… all of Rick’s girls were actual humans. Most of the time.

The candy looks like Necco Wafers, and Necco Wafers are generally acknowledged as the worst candy ever. Possibly next to Good N’ Plentys.

Necco Wafers are also one of the oldest candies that survives from "ye olden days"

Oh, and I like the Game Boy bubble gum. That was the ultimate character-based candy for me.

Good n’ Plentys are on my list of fave movie candy/ammo to toss at random movie goers. Top ammo is Red Hots. I don’t have enough nerve to chuck a cheese-covered soft pretzel. But I will drop a Junior Mint from a balcony while shouting "Kramer?!" Movie candy rules.

Responding to The Lucky One: Weren’t Egon (Ramis) and Janine (Annie Potts) an item in the first movie? But I heard that Janine switched to Rick Moranis in the second film because the writers changed a lot of things up, so the movie would more closely match "The Real Ghostbusters" cartoon. (Were they a couple in that show? It’s been too long since I’ve seen it…)

She was always after Egon in the cartoon until after the second movie. They added Tully to the group and he and Janine would go on interrupted dates. I want a NCEA Samhain figure.

I guess we can only wonder what crazy adventures lie ahead of the "Slimer Army". I only hope the ‘Joes control them.

Respondong to Aberration responding to The Lucky One: Egon & Janine? No way! Egon didn’t have time for women, unless they were freaky librarian ghosts. Janine tried to hit on him, but it basically went over his head.

Janine didn’t date anybody in the cartoon, I believe. She bitched at Venkman, and Venkman flirted with her. Slimer tried to kiss people, but they just ended up slimy and feeling dirty. Oh, I can relate! Wowza! Zing! Whammo!

Ahem. Did Rick and Signourney have enough time to do it as demon dogs? Did Gozer do it with the marshmellow man?

Sweet score, Matt. But I pray that you don’t eat them. I mean, I wonder, do they taste like Necco wafers? If they do, and they’re that old, they’ve gotta be shit. I’d rather give a blow job to Slimer than eat those. Well…not really, but you get the point.

Speaking of giving blow jobs to slimer, and sex amongst Ghostbuster characters in general, I wonder if Slimer ever got any. Maybe he screwed the Staypuft Marshmallow man. Or maybe I’m just thinking about this to heavily. Thanks a lot, Matt!

Oh yeah, I look Good n’ Plenty as well, and don’t see how anyone could hate it. I never understood why people typically hate black licorice, because I’ve loved it for years. I especially love licorice liqeurs like Sambuca and Ouzo. I also like black licorice ice cream, which I’ve had only once. Yum.

I’ve got nothing against Neccos, and at least these don’t look as bad as the American Gladiators candy after all these years, but still. You’ve got to start eating food that expired within the last ten years, Matt. You’ll live longer.

As for "Ghostbusters"…yeah, Janine made a very obvious play for Egon in the first film, but he completely missed it. If Venkman ever got his hands on Weaver, we don’t see it.

Matt, that last paragraph is the best piece of writing I think these eyes have ever viewed. "I bet those boys are dead now." Pure hilarity.

Hmm. Slimer candy. Can’t say I recall this little bit of candy history, but then again, I was a late Ghostbusters fan, not getting into it till the video copies at the local Blockbuster got dusty. Than I stopped not seeing them and started loving them.

I don’t know why I keep GETTING those Necco wafers. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to taste any better the next time… and I still glance over and think, "Hmm, maybe I’ll get those." WHY?!

I’m totally jealous. i have one of these candy heads that are alf shaped. I would love a slimer one to go with it… I’m hitting up my local kay-be to see what I can find.

A few nights back it was real late and I was on AIM and you popped on but then signed off before I could even get over my shock and glee at seeing you show up on my buddy list. My disappointment knows no bounds.
I would have bought the hell out of all 42,000 Jims. I really miss watching that show, along with Freakazoid!

"A few nights back it was real late and I was on AIM and you popped on but then signed off before I could even get over my shock and glee at seeing you show up on my buddy list. My disappointment knows no bounds."

Haha! I know what THAT’S all about. Matt, I put your AIM name on my buddy list, and late one night, REAL late one night you actually signed on. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thrilled knowing that the guy who continually churns out humorous articles on He-Man and Star Wars was on AOL Instant Messenger THE SAME EXACT TIME THAT I WAS, but I do, anyways. Being "thrilled" by that ain’t something I’m proud of…

I wanted to tell someone, which I eventually ended up doing, which eventually ended up in comments of "Who are you talking about…?" and "He writes for XE? Is that a porn site?"

I meant there should be another sequel with an otherworldly orgy in it. Context people, context!

Matt, you’ve managed to get me to think about Rick Moranis’ penis. I now hate you. Your site’s still cool, but you must die. Or, at least be forced to eat a couple of those chalk wafers.

Whatever encounters Tulley had, he could write them off as business expenses. Jean Kasem most likely counted as exercise equipment.

ADVENT CALANDER!!! NOOOO!!!! CHIA PLOT!!!! Are you afraid of completeion matt? none of your articles seem to have definate endings, it’s just kinda a all-in-all random number and basics you like, but no denumont? I don’t like loose ends, finnish them, they squeal to be finnished!!!

C’mon, who wasn’t already thinking about Rick Moranis’ sex life when he uttered the immortal line "I bet she gives great helmet!" ?

Infinie Imporbability, because in the most improbable of all situations you are actually everywhere in the Universe at once.

K- I don’t want to scare you, but from those pictures, that candy was NOT just dug out of the mothballs.

See the numbers in the corner of the price tag? The "09" and "3"? That’s KB code for when the stickers were issued, in this case- Sept of last year. This means one of two things. This candy was just sent to the store in Sept, or they changed the price then to try and actively sell it. Either way- Ew.

Odd note about Good & Plentys…in a study done a few years ago, women identified the smell of these awful tasting candies as the most erotic of a variety of scents they were given to sample.

Because after licensing fees and (sometimes not-so) meticulous container development and production… There is no time/money to make a worthwhile candy on the most part. Sad but true.

Very well Mr. Matt, no Chia Plot today either. Well I’m sure it’ll be something to read once it is up. For the mean time i’ll entertain myself by singing along to every song on my WinAMP playlist. ALthough i’ll be in a blissfull state of ignorence of not being able to hear my own voice and imagining I sing as well as the singers coming out of my headphones.

havent been here in awhile, had my birthday, now im 20. yay. cant wait for the chia plot’s next chunk

it really is sad that some candy is so crappy. you gotta do something really wrong to turn a kid away from candy. kids go with candy like slimer with ecto cooler! cant separate them!! Long live ecto cooler!!! Damn you corporate bastards, stop hoarding all the good stuff in the secret warehouse of dimension x!! >:O

Well even tho I’m drunk as shit I think I will be the first to wish X-E a happy forth birthday.

Ghostbusters is the shit, I saw both movies in the theaters when they came out but of course the first one will always be my favorite.

They *shouold* make a third movie, especially with the special effects they could do nowadays.
(unfortunatly, they’d probably end up ruining the movie with too much focus on the effects and a horribly sub-par story like the second one had IMHO)

aside:
I bought 20th Ann. Prime and Unicron the other day, I haven’t put them down yet!
Prime is *amazing*!!
I’ll do a review later.

HEY HEY HEY! Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids wish to congratulate Matt on four great years of X-E!

Woohoo, go four years of X-E! I’d sing happy birthday if my singing wouldn’t make peoples ears bleed.

Well I’ve only been around for about a year now, but X-E is one of the greatest sites out there.. happy 4th!

Wow, didn’t even know it’s been four years of X-E! Good job Matt. Hope you have the champagne cork popped, and a whole row of beautiful naked girls waiting for you in the next room. Congrats!

Not terribly relevant, but I just got back from a ten-day vacation in Canada…and while in the West Edmonton Mall I passed a hobby shop that had displayed in its front window…PLAYMOBIL FIGURES!

I turned to my friend and said "Huh huh, Playmobil figures"…Beavis and Butt-head-esque laughter ensued.

Thanks, Matt, for warping my perspective on life to the point where hilarity is never more than a hobby store away from ensuing.

Unlike some things in this world, I’m looking _forward_ to four more years of X-E.

pfft! I was touching myself long before Slimer. ..huh? what? yes, I have a reason to post. …hm? ..oh, yeah. Happy Fourth, X-E! May your mutants never mutiny! May the wind at your back be not your own! May the bird of paradise fly up your nose! May a weird holy man duct tape your sister closed! Boo-ya Kaboom!

As an "associate" of one of the non-closing KB Toys in NY, let me tell you that I have NEVER seen Slimer candy where I work…Matt, which KB did you go to?

The most obscure candy we got currently is Big League Chew. (insert Family Guy reference here)

when new articleese me am get bored ith x-e no updates :update more. me are thinking about chaning hompage awar from x-e.

I’m surpised you haven’t gotten ptomaine poisoning yet eating all that old candy. Those Slimer candies looked like Necco wafers. Chocolate Necco wafers tasted horrible when I was a kid and I can’t picture them improving. They tasted like they came from the Ninth Gate of Hell along with those American Gladiators nuegats. I picture there is some sort of Satanic candy store down there with shelves full of American Gladiators Neugats, baseball card pack gum and Necco wafers where all the little zombies,imps,Cenobites and other creatures of the underworld go to buy candy with their allowance money.

As for the Big League Chew I remember that one well. It was like shredded bubble gum in a little tobacco pouch. I’m suprised the truth.com morons aren’t raising a stink about it. I think some grocery stores and gas stations still have it around here.

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 2nd, 2004 at 11:09 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.