New acquisitions:
On my last trip to one of the closing KB stores, I couldn’t help but notice that the wares seemed a whole lot older than what was available during my last excursion. Since they were closing, I guess there was no moral code regarding what could be sold — whatever was still sitting in that stockroom was dusted off one last time, with huge blazing red clearance stickers to boot. Most of the stuff wasn’t too notable (unless you’re huge on Earthworm Jim figures, of which they had nearly 42,000), but “Ghostbusters II” Slimer candy? From 1989? At 50% off the already marked down 4/1.00 price, I snatched an entire box for — drumroll — three bucks. I don’t have much need for two dozen Slimer candy heads, but I refused to leave without that cool display box.
Each Slimer candy head is molded in a lightweight green plastic, posed in such a way that each Slimer looks like he’s squeezing his giant tits. Interestingly enough, they’ve based it on Slimer as he was seen in the movies, instead of the cartoon show which was probably a safer bet for kiddy candy. Not sure what to do with all of these, but if I ever need to smuggle drugs into a comic convention…
The candy, as it usually does in cases like this, sucks. Slimer’s sweet wafers alternate between being branded with the “Ghostbusters II” logo and Slimer himself. The box illustrates the candy as being all cool and character-shaped, but when you open up the heads, it’s just a bunch of crappy chalk discs. I doubt that Slimer — a perennial crowd pleaser — would’ve OK’ed this one if given the opportunity to pull a slimy veto.
For those curious, these originally retailed for 69 cents a piece. I envision many a happy-go-lucky teenage stockboy giggling about the price’s connotations as a sexual position, invariably leading to discussions about whether Rick and Sigourney really did it or not. And then there boss would catch and fire them. And then they’d forever be known as the boys who lost their jobs because they couldn’t stop talking about Rick Moranis getting and giving oral simultaneously. I bet those boys are dead now.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
havent been here in awhile, had my birthday, now im 20. yay. cant wait for the chia plot’s next chunk
it really is sad that some candy is so crappy. you gotta do something really wrong to turn a kid away from candy. kids go with candy like slimer with ecto cooler! cant separate them!! Long live ecto cooler!!! Damn you corporate bastards, stop hoarding all the good stuff in the secret warehouse of dimension x!! >:O