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New Article: American Gladiators Candy Bars!

Hey, anybody want an American Gladiators Chewy Nougat Bar? Made in 1993 by Dr. Channard, the criminal candies mixed fruit flavors with puttylike nougat to create the snack no kid would ever want to eat. Even with pretty pictures of Zap and Turbo all over the boxes, nothing could save this horrific edible from its rightful resting place in Hell. Review also includes a quick intro about some of the other Gladiator-related merchandise we've seen through the years, and ends off with crossed-out nougat jokes. Enjoy.

Posted by Matt on 03/23/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 115 comments

Btw, I have a box of Jello from 1968, Yay for me!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 03/23/2004 11:33 PM

I remeber back when American Gladiators and Rockin’ Rollergames (rollerderby on crack) ran against SNL… damn I’m old.

Chestnuts roasted by Reiver @ 03/24/2004 1:33 AM

Reiver, was Rockin’ Rollergames the one with the Aligator or Crocodile pit next ot the rink and that only one time I can remember a person was knocked into?

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/24/2004 3:43 AM

I use to work as a Janitor in a blood lab and I can tell you I never saw anything that looked like it came from the ninth gate of hell as much as those nougats.

Chestnuts roasted by The Adamantium Elbow @ 03/24/2004 5:13 AM

"I use to work as a Janitor in a blood lab…"

Honestly, that sounds really cool. In a "really great conversation starter" sort of way…

Oh, and fun article, Matt. Yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by Bobby... @ 03/24/2004 6:29 AM

My cat threw up last night and scooped the puke back into his own mouth with his paw and did not cease until he was done with the vomit and walked away satisfied…still not as gross as you licking those fruity flavored balls of satans rotting flesh.

Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 03/24/2004 8:05 AM

Super Mario Show On DVD news!

After a pair of previous one-off releases (here and here, though the latter was actually a later version of the show) whetted everyone’s appetite, demand was strong for a "proper" release of The Super Mario Brothers Super Show, complete with the as-aired live action sequences by wrestler "Captain" Lou Albano, depicted in-character as Mario (a more natural fit than anyone would have guessed!).

The powers-that-be have listened. The Super Mario Brothers Super Show returns to DVD this July, in the first of what are hoped to be a long series of releases. Included will be the companion series The Legend of Zelda, which is proper per the original broadcasts. The first release will include five episodes, in order of when they originally aired, which are:
"The Bird! The Bird!"
"King Mario of Cramalot"
"Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid"
"Mario’s Magic Carpet"
(Legend of Zelda): "The Ringer"

Each episode will include the live-action with Lou Albano and also a bonus interview with Executive Producer (and DiC Chairman/CEO) Andy Heyward. This should include the questions submitted by fans from TVShowsOnDVD and other participating websites. DiC and UAVCO, who are releasing this disc together, say that additional bonus features may be added later.

The official release date will be July 6, 2004. The DVDs will have a list price of $14.99, and the studio expects them to sell for about $10 in most stores. If these releases prove successful, they will continue to release Super Mario Brothers Super Show episodes in the as-aired order, with the possibility of a half/full season box set later on.

Cover art wasn’t made available just yet, but we’ll have that for you as soon as we can, so stay tuned.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 03/24/2004 9:37 AM

Matt, I can’t believe you didn’t connect the fact that Diamond’s flavor is cherry. Cherry for Chris’sakes!!! Does anyone else see where I’m going with this? That is just wrong. Why couldn’t the picture for the cherry nougat bar be of a guy. C’mon. The picture of the decomposed candy next to the box of the female Diamond makes me think all kinds of nasty, dirty thoughts. Eeew! It makes me wonder just exactly what kind of "device" extruded that mess. Either that’s a Ferra Pan joke, or I’m just a real weirdo. Probably the latter. Oh well. Hail to the Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Kaynyne @ 03/24/2004 9:38 AM

The above info is from tvshowsondvd.com

I’m not spamming, just thought it would be of interest to readers of this site.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 03/24/2004 9:39 AM

c’mon matt post a link to yaz’s situation.

Chestnuts roasted by larry @ 03/24/2004 9:54 AM

I can’t believe you crossed out the "Nougat" Yaz lyrics, like you’re ASHAMED of them or something. C’mon, man, stand up for yourself… you’re bringing me down, man!

Chestnuts roasted by blizack @ 03/24/2004 10:00 AM

you’ve ruined dairy for me, forever

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 03/24/2004 10:49 AM

Anybody ever wanted to see a "relationship" develop between two of the lady Gladiators, or was it just me? Ants are nuts for nougat.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/24/2004 11:42 AM

In my area, Saturday nights consisted of the following…watching SNL, then shortly thereafter American Gladiators, followed by Freddy’s Nightmares’. Ahhh…good times.

Thankfully, I never saw that shitty looking candy. That stuff looks like the results of a Rosie O’Donnell gynecological exam.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremiah @ 03/24/2004 12:09 PM

Wow, how did you know I would be eating a bologna sandwich while reading that article? You are a freak, Matt. Especially after the whole Monchichi debacle.

Let’s see, I’m thinking of a song from the Animaniacs. Guess it and I’ll buy you something from your Amazon wishlist.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 03/24/2004 2:07 PM

The first thing that came into my head was ‘The Wolfman’ from UK Gladiators.

Then ‘Who Dares Wins’ from Australia since the bloke who hosted it was a referee on Australian Gladiators.

Now, it’s the Ultimate World Gladiators Championship thing.

I suck. :p

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (NZ) @ 03/24/2004 2:08 PM

I want to have Matt’s babies. MARRY ME!?

Chestnuts roasted by i love matt! @ 03/24/2004 2:28 PM

Wow Matt, if you actually licked those things I am impressed. And that’s coming from a guy who likes to eat live goldfish.

I always loved American Gladiators. I remember watching the last half of the first season before it got really big. Back when they hid behind bushes like someone else already said. My favorite guy was Laser (I thought it was Lazer though) and my favorite girl was Lace.

Also, Zap’s top did come off once. IT was while she was in the sumo ring, after the contestant had to run the football. I think it was command & conquer or something like that. It was awesome though.

Chestnuts roasted by Beerstalker @ 03/24/2004 2:44 PM

"If the Gladiators were hoping for that kind of scope, they shoulda had Zap flash a tit."

Hey Matt, Zap actually DID flash a tit. You guys check out the old John Ritter comedy "Skin Deep" that he made about the time of A.G.’s peak. Zap plays a body-building gal (go figure) that John’s character sacks during his time of whoring. :) I’d like to know how many of you actually will go out and rent this just to see a quick glimpse now! L8er…

Chestnuts roasted by 80's Kid @ 03/24/2004 2:53 PM

What’s the plural of nougat?

I’d like to think its something like "nougi", but I’m probably wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by Third Rate Ninja @ 03/24/2004 3:46 PM

Nougii? Katey Sagal: "Look, Al, Elvii!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/24/2004 3:52 PM

Johansson, Baldwin & Tambor Voicing SpongeBob
http://comingsoon.net/news.php?id=4037

"…Nickelodeon also announced it has lined up an estimated $150 million in promo support from Mitsubishi, Burger King, the Cayman Islands, Holiday Inn and candy company Perfetti Can Melle USA. Kellogg began running spots in January; tie-ins include SpongeBob-themed Pop Tarts and breakfast cereal along with SpongeBob-imprinted Eggo waffles."

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/24/2004 4:23 PM

"Any one remember the time when they where on the monkey bar obstical where one of the women got her pants/panties pulled down?That was true comedy.. "

Yeah I remember that episode I used to be a big fan of that show. Matt I cant imagine even being close to those bars rather licking them ::shutters::

Chestnuts roasted by Krayzie @ 03/24/2004 4:29 PM

yeah it does suck when the hamster gets bored and stops in a corner and pisses on the carpet through the crack in the ball, then it wanders away and you find the stain a week later. I only put it in the ball while cleaning the cage now.

Those bars are the nastiest thing ive ever seen…I’d eat ten cans of old chef boyardee before i lick one of those. >:P

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 03/24/2004 4:41 PM

hey, i already have this mp3 >:D

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 03/24/2004 4:45 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004 at 4:14 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.