X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

03/17/2004: Transformers “Alternators” Sideswipe Review!

Here’s that Transformers “Alternators” review I promised. Of the two I’ve seen in stores, Sleek Red Sideswipe absolutely blows away the other guy — can’t remember his name, but he was blue and green and read all over. I’m reading that Sideswipe’s cousin has a cooler robot mode, but you won’t catch that from the box. I’ve also noticed that most children skipped right past the available Alternators for other TF toys — that hideous new Prime combiner seems to be the leader of the gimme gimme pack, but to me, the thing looks like something an upscale closeout store would hock at 5.99 alongside fermented bags of Gummi Lifesavers. Even while in Hasbro’s showroom at Toy Fair, I couldn’t get past the idea that Hot New Combiner Optimus looked like an awkward rainbow of plastic crap.

Hey look, more negativity: the Alternators probably aren’t quite so deserving of my initial gushes. They’re cool, no doubt, but I had played them up like God’s inanimate missionaries sent to Earth to cure cancer and jock itch simultaneously. No, they’re not that good, but for 20 bucks? They’re definitely worth 20 bucks.

In Dodge Viper form, Sideswipe looks incredible. Like a model car. Few would suspect an Autobot head hiding in the underbelly. The car form is actually neat enough to compensate for a shitty robot version, but luckily, I think this guy passed the test in both forms. While not made of the same diecast metal as their ancient G1 Autobot cousins, the Alternators are more than double the size. Plus, you’re just a few quarters away from having two “Homies” driving your Autobot around. Do they still make those things? Are any of ‘em white yet?

The transformation process is pretty long and involved, but with the combination of a step-by-step instruction manual and Magic Hands I’ve Got Magic Hands, it wasn’t too difficult. Course, I’ll still suggest that you skip the instructions entirely. With virtually every Transformers toy I’ve picked up in the past five years, the tutorial seems almost intentionally impossible to comprehend. It’s just drawings of the figure from a hundred different angles with arrows pointing in vaguely defined spots. I was able to get Sideswipe going only when I tossed aside the instruction sheet — but before that, look how he came out…

HEY I AM THAT GUY IN ROBOCOP WHO GOT COVERED IN TOXIC WASTE AND RAN OVER, ONLY NOT BECAUSE HE WAS HUMAN AND I AM A ROBOT, WOE IS ROBOTY.

There’s Sideswipe in his robot mode. Decent enough, aye? I don’t really peg this guy as a good choice for kids who mash their toys together and throw ‘em at walls, so I’m pretty sure the Alternators are really meant for us older types who shamelessly still buy toys and eat Fruit Gushers. Even Sideswipe’s sole accessory — a small, silver-plated plastic gun — seems like a throwback to the Autobot toys of old.

Other strong points: the head is marvelous; it actually looks like a real Autobot head and not a whimsical screenprinted cake featuring an Autobot head. The figure is adequately tall — 8 or 9 inches with legs up to here! With the incredible emphasis on detail, there’s no part of the toy that feels like it’s “just there.” Even the guy’s feet have all sorts of flippy-around twisty-turny robot parts.

Overall: Recommended. They aren’t the end-all, be-all toys I originally pegged ‘em as, but the Alternators are nice concessions to everyone who’s been asking for revamped Autobot cars all of these years. Some may prefer to just stick with the actual reissues, though. 8 outta 10 — a high 8. Like 8.7, 8.8.

While we’re on the subject of Transformers…

About a week ago, I interviewed Gary Chalk for UGO — he’s the guy who does Optimus’ voice on all of the new shows, going as far back as Optimus Primal on Beast Wars. Hell of a nice guy. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware that the reason this interview was setup was because Gary supplied the voice for that new “Prelude to Energon” game. So, I’m throwing him like a thousand weirdass questions, digging pretty deep into his resume (the guy’s done voices on everything from G.I. Joe to Sonic the Hedgehog), and by the time I started asking about his role in “The Fly II,” someone from Atari chimed and started begging that I talk about the video game. Whoops! So now, anytime I hear anything about Optimus Prime, I’m going to remember the special phone interview where Atari yelled at me and Gary Chalk responded in his Dr. Robotnik voice. Oh well.

TF ENERGON OPTIMUS PRIME IS NOT A PIECE OF SHIT!! ILL HAVE YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I OWN HIM!

First is the worst…
Second is the best…
Third is the one with the hairy chest (you’re italian, aren’t you?)

I think the Alternators look kick ass. They’re coming out with a Chevy Corvette, and DAMN. Very cool. Anyway, cool beans on the Gary Chalk bit. Rumor is he might be the voice for the live action movie as well (along with maybe David Kaye if they can’t get Frank Weller). Like I said, cool beans.

I love Transformers. I also love St. Patricia’s Day (I’m a feminist). Maybe there should be some sort of Transformers/St.Patricia’s Day tribute where Arcee is decked out in green.

The Alternators are looking very nice indeed. It is too bad that they aren’t die-cast metal like their Japanese counterparts… stupid American toy safety laws. Anyway, Matt you do an excellent job. You make an otherwise jaded 80’s kid laugh and laugh. Cheerio!

Ah, Alternators. I’ve seen those guys in action, and I can say without fear of contradiction that they’re most definitely one of the final steps in Transformers evolution. Now when they get to doing the COMBINERS as alternators… *smiles as a nerd fantasy forms in his head*

I was never really into the Transformer show when I was a kid, but I still bought em. I did see this one new transformer toy that was…well it was the one that was a fuckin planet, or something. If I ever see it im gonna buy it, but I wish I could get paid to do shit like this Mr. Matt, it would give others a reason why I buy so many god damned toys at my age, of… 17. Off the transformers bit, I notice your/were into MUSCLES, they have….had a new series …well KINDA a new series of Muscles from the sequal "Ultimate Muscle", about…180 in all. SInce they werent too popular they only made series 1-4 which was 60 of the 180. Though for whatever reason the others are wideley available in Canada. I only have Sets 11 and 12 left before I have em all and uhh well I suppose thats something to be proud of. I would like to thank my local KB Toys for having cool toys at ultra "Why wont anyone buy these?" cheap prices, like the G.I Joe Kung Fu FIghters game thing which is avaialble for 6 bucks. I would abought it but there so gosh darned ugly.

Once again, Matt, you prove with one line that my job is only the second best in the world.

I mean, seriously. You go to cool toy shows, you collect ancient shit that epitomizes an entire generation, and you write about GI Joes and Chia Pets. Your job (and your site) rules.

ahh.. they do have Homies at my local Walmart in one of those vending machine type things by the door..

Smokescreen’s vehicle mode isn’t as attractive as Sideswpie’s, but I definitely prefer his robot mode. Silverstreak looks a lot better I think. And there’s no beating Hound.

I may finnally get my drivers license this weekend…i sure hope i pass the driving test…>:O

The die-cast versions are called "Binaltech," and if you want them you can pay the import prices, plain and simple.

As for Smokescreen, I could list so many reasons why he’s better than Sideswipe, but it comes down to "more features and less negatives." Of course, there’s nothing wrong with getting both eh?

As for Energon OP: if you don’t like him (and let’s face it, he’s for the kiddies), you can go ahead and get 20th Anniversary G1 Optimus Prime. Somebody gotta link to a review?

And hey Fit for Natalie, I’m Deathfrogurt from the 2005 boards. How the heck are you?

Frogurt: Hey buddy, how ya been? TF board shutdowns are rather frequent, aren’t they?

Anyway, I got Energon Optimus Prime today, and I like him, I really do. His cab robot mode isn’t the best, but his combined mode is alot of fun (DRILL KICK TO THE NUTS!), and he kicks major Terrorcon arse in the Energon tv show.

Matt: I think you forgot to flip out the barrel on Sideswipe’s engine gun.
Sideswipe blowing away Smokescreen? Ahahahahahahahahaha. You sir, bought the wrong Alternator

Lambourghini probably declined on Sideswipe and Sunstreaker (hence them both being Vipers now), especially as the italian supercar maker is owned by Volkswagen, who also refused to play ball with Hasbro/Takara for Bumblebee since the Autobots are war machines.

Funny Trivia - G1 Sideswipe was called Lambor in Japan, and even though he’s now Dodge Viper, he’s still called Lambor.

I got smokescreen on import and he is AWESOME. His robot mode seems more natural than sideswipe, cos i think sideswipe looks like he’s wearing an apron :s.

Anyhoo, i really wanna get hound and hope that Masterpiece prime comes out in england

Hmmm… Matt, I’m sure you don’t need this pointed out to you, but uh… You do realize Gary Chalk also voices the new version of your eternal arch-nemesis, Man-At-Arms, right?

And he was also in Freddy vs. Jason, and as soona s that cop opened his mouth, I was like: "It’s Primal!!! Then I spent the rest of the movie hoping that Freddy AND Jason would show up to ambush him and he’d have to say "That’s just PRIME". Alas, it never happened…

Yep yep, we touched on MOTU and FvJ as well. He mentioned that even he wasn’t completely totally sure what was going on with MOTU — it’s over, but then he’ll hear it’s not over, etc etc. Check out his bio on IMDB, it’s friggin’ endless.

After having so many TF’s as a kid, I am not sure how happy I would be with a non-metal version, no matter how cool the design. The originals were just so freakin sturdy. You could really play with them, and not worry about parts snapping off.

I figured the reason they are not die-cast was due to cost…is it really due to American safety laws?

My favortie Transformer (I don’t remember his name) Was a big white jet that not only turned into a robot, but also turned into a tank. I could turn this thing into about 20 different things. They need to rerelease some of the multi-changers.

First of all, I keep waiting for the Power Rangers to call on the new Optimus on their show.

Second, call me when the red Viper becomes a silver Defender. (ten points if you catch the reference)

Hey, I’ve got nothing at all against Peter Chalk — I think he does a great job — but are you saying we can’t get Peter Cullen to voice Prime in the live-action movie? That’s really disappointing. G1 movie, you gotta have G1 Prime.

Only if the Defender has the cool hexagonal plates and not the "We’re syndicated now so have to use a cheaper effect" mini-blinds changeover. I missed getting the last couple of versions of Megatron, but I need the new one (only at Wal-Mart! hoobywhosiwhatsis? Wal-Mart!?) because he has a passing resemblance to Galvatron. Six-Shot was cool. I’m getting Sideswipe and waiting for Hound like he’s the second coming of the Beatles. And still waiting to get Unicron.

TJ- I’m sorry, but Matt’s right; Energon OP just looks like a really shitty Voltron knock-off. It’s great that, as a fact, you own him, but facts is facts…

And sorry you weren’t thrilled with Smokescreen, Matt. Gotta say, I do prefer him to Sideswipe… maybe it’s just my prejudice against fat Autobots acting up. Who knows, maybe you’ll like the redecoed version of him as "Silver"streak better… (but yeah, we’re all waiting impatiently for Hound).

They have Homies at Spencer’s too, I think. None of the current Alternators really stand out to me, but the upcoming Decepticon one, Deadend, is a must-buy for anyone even remotely interested in TF’s or nice looking toys in general. It’s a BLACK VIPER. THAT TURNS INTO A ROBOT. Where do I sign?

Haha, sorry Nate, but due to my love of all things pink I think Arcee must never be green! NEVER!

I heard that in one of the TF series in Japan that there was a scene with a council of Convoys. Every version of Prime up to that time. Coooool.

There’ve been plenty of white homies, but come to think of it, they’re mostly slutty looking chickenheads with big backyards. I’ve got an "official" homie that’s just a big trash can and a bunch of birds, and on the back it says "Homie Pidgeon". It also dwarfs every other figure in the collection, so I guess they have a lot of trash in HomieTown.

Howzabout a AutoBot that uses a Lowrider for a vehicle mode? He could be called CholoTron or Thumper or VatoBot, something. DingleBaller? Move over, Gundams, here come KingKlash’s TransFormer Custom Rods. From the ghettos of CyberTron, to the streets of Earth. I miss living in Oakland.

Did anyone every notice how extensive Mr.Roepers tie collection on Three’s Company was? I did…

I don’t know why they did this, but Energon Megatron is really Galvatron in Japan. Pretty bizarre, seeing as he was already Galvatron in Armada. -_-;

Some American toy safety laws are usually concerned with sharp parts - that’s why Fortress Maximus or Metroplex will probably never be reissued in the US (too fragile/shatters) or why all american G1 Optimus Primes have short smokestacks (vaccum metalised parts snap off into very sharp points that can take an eye out). Hasbro has to obey the law.

BeSharp: Hasbro doesn’t use die cast in Alternators (but they do in G1 reissues) to keep costs down. That’s why they are $20US RRP and not the $40US-$50US the die-cast Binaltechs cost.

Btw, TFs today are designed to be far, far tougher than anything in the original G1, especially considering their complixity these days. Parts are designed to detach or pop off, so parts don’t snap and present danger to kids or cause parents to return the toy.

Stilewalker: That was Blitzwing, I think (he was pretty small, though). Takara reissued Astrotrain (turn into a space shuttle and then a train) in its original Japanese colours last year. Typically, Hasbro releases them in their own line a several months later under agreement.

Energon Prime wouldn’t be bad if he were not Optimus Prime. I bought him because I buy every Prime that comes out (and isn’t a monkey….or bat for that matter) but he really is a piece of garbage for a Prime. Then again his personality in the show Energon is pretty crappy too so maybe it’s on purpose.

"DRILL KICK TO THE NUTS!" Yeah, That was the first thing I thought of too. And E-Prime is kind of late 70’s sentai, ain’t he? He even has a tower base for the smaller OP-Zords. Now, if there was a Prime that could perform BOOT TO THE HEAD, I buy it so fast, everybody’s underwear would vibrate.

does anybody know who the RX-8 transformer is going to be? for a while i thought it might be cliffjumper because on mazda website he’s jumpin’ around like a madman. check it out http://www.mazdausa.com/MusaWeb/NA_Autoshow/frameset.html

Okay, this is in too deep for me. I mean, I know alot about collecting Pokemon, I haven’t done it in a while, but I could never get on the Transformers bandwagon.

I believe he drill kicked (or just missed) Starscream’s head in episode 7 of Energon. Great episode.

The Mazda RX-8 will be named Meister, which is the japanese name for Jazz. It is assumed Hasbro named it as such because there’s a car called the Honda Jazz, and Mazda wouldn’t want the RX-8 toy to be called the ‘Mazda RX-8 Autobot Jazz’.
Kinda like say if there was an Autobot named Ferrari, it would be like, ‘Dodge Viper Autobot Ferrari’.

Plus ‘Meister’ is a geeky nod to all the long-time fans out there, as if the entire line wasnt already fan-service.

TF ENERGON OPTIMUS PRIME IS NOT A PIECE OF SHIT!! ILL HAVE YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I OWN HIM!

Oh, man. It must not be a piece of shit if someone who thinks typing all in caps makes him sound important says so.

Energon Prime is overpriced. That’s my only complaint. It’s a good toy, but the problem is, it’s a good $30 toy. At $40 it just ain’t worth it.

I’ll take the 20th Anniversary Prime any day, thanks. At least if I get tired of playing with it or displaying it, I can bludgeon somebody with it thanks to all of its die-cast metal.

Yeah, Energon Prime is… eeehhh. I’m glad I got him as an Xmas present, didn’t pay money for him. Then I got 20th Anniversary Optimus for my birthday a month later… I guess it’s my parents’ way of making up for the anguish I experienced as a six-year-old when they decided to give my name to the kid who killed Optimus Prime in the comics.

Personally, my favorite Transformers series is Car Robots, aka Robots In Disguise, where the gimmick du jour wasn’t animal modes, or third modes, or Matrix special effects, or unlockable features… it was simply TRANSFORMING. And the Autobots all had day jobs!

Finally, this about Energon: of all the nifty gimmicks introduced in Armada, they decided that the one that would best carry the line from now on was for the Autobots to wear each other as pants? Good lord, what kind of kids did they have testing these things?

G’Tron:
Car Robots was a financial disaster for Takara. They only started to make a decent profit with the release of Armada (or as they called it, Micron Densetsu). So it seems simply transforming is not enough for a Transformers mine line for kids.
The reason why Hasbro/Takara pursued the combining gimmick is that in Japan, Transformers doesn’t do as well in comparison to Sentai (Power Rangers) and Machine Robo Rescue (Gobots), mainly because nearly every robot in those shows combined with a teammate in one way or another.
Also, older fans have been clamouring for new combiners ever since BW released Tripredacus and Magnaboss. So this line is compromise - combining as a ‘new gimmick’ for american/western kids, combining as an established gimmick to lure in Japanese kids and combining as a concession to older fans.
Also, as another nod to older fans is new toy homages based upon old characters, like the new Megatron/Galvatron, Scorponok, Rodimus Convoy, Springer (green helicopter guy) and ARCEE.

Gary Chalk wasn’t that great in Sonic Underground. Neither was Sean Connery, for that matter.

FFN, Re: your last point… yeah, that’s definitely the niftiest thing about Energon, for me. Armada was your typical Transformers storyline reboot, but in Energon there’s some palpable convergent evolution with the 2005 (movie/post-movie) storyline of the original series, what with the Quintessons and the flying Unicron head and the many post-movie names being used (Don’t forget Sharkticon and Slugslinger!) and so on and so forth. And Mirage finally gets to be something besides an Indy car! My one complaint: Whither the Junkions, Hasbro?

I don’t have a problem with everyone being able to combine, of course; that’s damn cool! But the proportions look awfully weird the way they’ve done it, with everyone having big guts and butts and samurai armor skirts that look suspiciously like folded-up arms and legs. I personally would have preferred vertical combinations, e.g. GaoGaiGar, where there’s no "dominant" personality. I’m not a toy designer, though, more’s the pity, so I don’t know how to go about engineering that design. They probably just went with the "Battle Pants" design to simplify things.

Geez, I used to be one of the minor echelon of A.T.T. Elders, and now people are introducing Springer to me as the ‘green helicopter guy’… I really gotta get back into the community someday. Maybe after BotCon.

Now that sparks the imagination:
"Aaagh! You haven’t defeated me yet! I’m just getting started! BATTLE PANTS, ACTVIATE AND ENERGIZE! SUPER ATOMIC RISING DRAGON WEDGIE! DOUUUBLE DEUCE!!!"
My kind of Saturday Morning action.

Yes. Transformers ended with Beast Wars. It was the last canon Transformers cartoon, though Beast Wars II and Neo I guess can slip through cuz except for lousy alt-modes (except Big Convoy, he rules) they were alright, and the last one that wasn’t crap.

too bad the alternator line’s starting in 2004 instead of 1984. I have yet to aquire an autobot that actually looks like a 280z in car form. maybe nissan’ll liscence out the 350z for inclusion in the line. maybe it’ll end up being prowl, then i’ll finally have a toy worthy of being burried with me.

I love Alternators and I really lucked out yesterday due to some kid’s destructive nature. Some kid has totally smashed a new Sideswipe Alternator’s box, but the toy remained completely intact and unscathed. It had one of those big, orange sale stickers on it saying $14.90. Since this way already about $5 cheaper than the regular version, I decided not to wait any longer. Well, I got up to the cash register, and it was discounted AGAIN! The final price? $6.90 plus tax! I couldn’t believe it. Now that I’m saying this, I hope that no one is getting the bright idea of smashing toys at TRU to later buy them at a discounted price.

G’Tron - I thought I recognised the name, though I’ve never hung out at ATT much. Sorry, I just assumed your were a casual fan!

The upcoming Energon Omega Supreme vertically combines like the GGG guys. The right side of his body is comprised of the crane/construction vehicle while the left side is comprised of his battleship. And apparently his head is a headmaster-type deal. Then Prime can sit inside his chest cavity for some reason.

Fangry: Well, Beast Machines was still part of the BW continuity, which (for better or worse) makes it part of the G1 continuity, speaking of which, being G1 doesn’t make it canon as if its the only one that matters.
As I understand, the Armada-Energon universe is the current canon.

sizone: Nissan probably didn’t play ball (they could have made Bluestreak/Silverstreak into a 350Z then, instead of a retool of Smokescreen). Good news is that they do have accquired the licenses for the Dodge Ram, Chrysler Neon and the 2005 Ford Mustang

FFN, I don’t use this name around the Transfan community, oddly enough. But ask some of the biggies if they remember "Playground Psychotic," and there’ll probably be at least a glimmer of recognition. I was pretty active around ATT from around 1996 to 2000.

With regards to ‘canon’, if you’re counting BWII and BW Neo as canonical, you have to count Car Robots as canonical as well, since it was explaining what was going on on Earth while all this Angolmois stuff was going on in the rest of the universe. So Transformers, the original series begun by Marvel Comics, actually died with Robots in Disguise, and Armada/Energon is actually the first system reboot the story has had. See, this is why it’s so much easier to think of it like the Zelda games, with the same story being retold with different themes but common elements…

Of course, the first non-canonical Transformers line was Animorphs. "Tri-Rex," hee.

As BW II and Neo were a continuation of the japanese dub of the US BW series, which is connected to the japanese G1 continuity? I hope they explained why Seibertron was intact in BW scenes when it was destroyed in Headmasters.

I bought E-Scorponok, Battle Ravage and the Energon Saber yesterday, and today I got E-Starscream, E-Inferno, Divebomb and Cruellock. They rock!

Car Robots wasn’t a ‘reboot’, but Robots In Disguise was. The original character of Fire Convoy wasn’t actually Optimus Prime, he was just another of the various Convoys, like Lioconvoy and Big Convoy, who were supposedly led by the mysterious Hyperconvoy (or so it said in the Comics BonBon manga). It fit in with the Japanese Beast Wars continuity quite well, even keeping the names straight with the symbols (i.e. the Predacons being ‘Destrons’ like in BW, and the Decepticons being ‘Combatrons’.)

Of course, the Japanese continuity is still pretty different, since they considered Optimus Primal to actually be THE Convoy himself, i.e. Optimus Prime. So I maintain that fracturing the continuities wasn’t a bad thing, because it was just making public what they’d been doing all along.

If this were the Portal Of Evil forums, somebody would say "Fag." right about now.

I almost bought 20th Ann. Prime yesterday but I realised that I have to pay my rent next week,

Instead I’m going to hold out for Hound. He’s gotta be the coolest looking TF ever!

As far a BW and all that, I agree with the Zelda comparison.
If there is supposed to be any sort of continuity there then It’s a pretty whacked out universe.

20th Prime/MP Convoy is pretty tough, as are Alterators (though my BT Smokescreen has bad paint).
My room has hardwood floors, and I put Prime behind my Alternators Sideswipe on a desk. Unfortunately, the desk is too close to the door, so when I opened the door too rapidly, it hit the desk hard, causing Prime to topple over, pushing Sideswipe, which landed on the ground, and then Prime fell on top of him.

Keep that image of Prime ontop of Sideswipe in a weird position in your head. And then probably move on.

Prime’s head came off, and his leg was in a back to front position, but that’s it.

Note to feminist: it’s called st patricks day because the saint was saint PATRICK. he was a MAN. and i dunno if anyone posted this, and im way too lazy to check.

Good review, reflects my opinion of Sideswipe as well. Though I highly reccomend getting some version of the Smokescreen mold, it’s definately more worth your $20 than SW. I would like to add that you mis-transformed the gun in the last pic. Though the fed-up pic before it was hilarious.

All this time I’ve been not reading the blog….look what I’ve been missing. Shame on me.

But I do know it’s based off of the Subaru Impreza WRX rally car, and they did a really good job with it too.

Man, those japanese are sooooo kooky! They also brought him back in Battlestars/Return of Convoy in the pages of TV Magazine after he died in Headmasters series. Not to mention the strong resemblance between Masterforce God Ginrai piloted by the human Ginrai. But those guys were two different entities.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 17th, 2004 at 6:35 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.