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03/16/2004: X-E’s Tribute to St. Patrick’s Day!

Well hello there. Long time no chat. How are the kidddss??? Today’s article focuses on the finer points of Saint Patrick’s Day, written from the non-Irish perspective because I am absolutely not Irish. We’ll take a look at such holiday staples as green beer, McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, Cookie O’Puss and beyond. There’s even a wild, woolly relative of Grimace hidden inside. I think the Chia Plot is on hold till next week, so I hope rambling about green beer can compensate. No? Aw come on. Back with more tomorrow!

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 90 comments

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Gabby: I think we’re all just happy to hear that it’s on it’s way..

Matt: http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/637.html

Niiiiice

Ghosted by Cya @ 03/17/2004 1:11 PM EST

Matt is probably getting an early start on this year’s advent calendar, so show a little restraint, poster children.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/17/2004 1:30 PM EST

Thanks for solving the "cookie o’puss" reference from The Family Guy for me… it’s all so clear now… ; )

Ghosted by Doc @ 03/17/2004 1:41 PM EST

Ah yes… MY holiday. I’m Scotch-Irish through and through, even if my family has been in this country for almost 200 years. Got the last name to prove it though. Saturday, we went to the St Patty’s Day Parade in the Irish section of my city. Caught nearly two sackfulls of cabbage and potatoes. So tonight, we eat cabbage, potatoes, and corned beef….

and the beer…so much beer!

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 03/17/2004 2:41 PM EST

(Assumes Scrooge McDuck Characterization)Top o’ the aftrrnoon to ye lads and lassies! I’m Shcroooge McDuck! The leppychorn ‘as stolen me money bin! I must get Launchpad and me nephews! It’s time for a grand adventure to the end of ye rainbrow!
Oh, wait, me stars! I be scottish!

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 03/17/2004 3:14 PM EST

Shakes, why did it have to be shakes? (struck by an odd double referential)

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/17/2004 3:35 PM EST

Well, its St. Patrick’s Day agian and I am once again here at church celebrating by attending an Advent service. I suggested to the pastor that green wine be used for communion instead of the usual–but no luck.

Nice article. I’m going to watch Conan O’Brien tonight just to catch up on all the Irish action.

Ghosted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 03/17/2004 4:48 PM EST

I’m not into St. Patricks Day, but I do keep note of it for one reason: It’s also my birthday. So I suppose I’ve got two reasons to get shit-faced drunk

Ghosted by SHANE! @ 03/17/2004 6:40 PM EST

Ever heard Patton Oswalt’s bit on Tom Carvel ice cream stores? It’s fucking hysterical. "And from outer space, it’s Cookie Puss! That’s right, he’s a big chocolate alien from outer space but he’s not going to probe your rectum like the aliens in Whitley Strieber’s ‘Communion’ so come on down and pick up a big ol’ Cookie Puss!"

Ghosted by Tim Vee @ 03/17/2004 7:56 PM EST

Hey, Photog’s Love Child. You’ll be happy to know about an idea of mine, but I’m not revealing it until it is complete.

Ghosted by Nate @ 03/17/2004 8:00 PM EST

You are so awesome. I am coming back because of you. !~~!@~@

Ghosted by Kim @ 03/17/2004 8:44 PM EST

Some of your best work. The Roger Rabbit part was classic.

Ghosted by Ally @ 03/17/2004 10:55 PM EST

I’m Irish/German….my family drinks….a lot. I don’t though. But I DO LOOOOOOOOVE me Lucky Charms!

Ghosted by faroniousd @ 03/18/2004 12:39 PM EST

Baboochi looks like he’s loving it on Earth.

Ghosted by Goonie4Life @ 03/18/2004 3:08 AM EST

I’m Irish/Welsh/Australian, just look at my frickin’ website!

You are so lucky to get those shamrock shakes.

Never thought I would see Cookie Puss again.

Ghosted by Rebekah @ 03/18/2004 4:43 AM EST

well where to start.
i’m irish.yea that’s good.
so no one in ireland drinks that Green shit.we ALL drink the black stuff i.e. Guinness. oh yeah.
unless you’re a pussy of course.
we don’t have lucky charms over here. rod. shamrock shakes were originally mint flavoured but some ASSholes don’t like mint. so now it’s just flavoured vAn~Illa. fuuuuuccccckkkkk oooffffffff!!! and what of the parades? every year they get shitter and Shiter. but every year we all go out to watch it/get drunk in town.
anyway.500 years ago st.Patrick invented guinness and every one got drunk.and that is why there’s christmas day.i mean PADDY’S DAY.
not "patties day"??? PADDY. DREAM THEATER RULE

Ghosted by ta_be_sure @ 03/18/2004 6:18 AM EST

The Shamrock Shake is the actual only proof that I have, that god does exist somewhere. Now I just gotta get to Mickey D’s before they switch the shakes over to egg nog of something like that.

If you can get yourself a shamrock shake, here’s what to do…. dip your fries in it, trust me, it’s good.

Ghosted by Toxikfoxx @ 03/18/2004 10:36 AM EST

I was always jealous that the Irish get their own day, but us Scots go home empty handed.

There needs to be a Scottish Day!

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 03/18/2004 10:58 AM EST

I was always jealous that the Irish get their own day, but us Scots go home empty handed.

There needs to be a Scottish Day!

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 03/18/2004 11:00 AM EST

McDonalds is evil!

Ghosted by dsgrsg @ 03/18/2004 2:03 PM EST

Dude, it’s a CATHOLIC holiday that happens to be affiliated with Ireland. We Italians have got as much a right to celebrate it as anybody else. Secondly, WFRR is my favorite movie of all time, so that joke was a total home run, but the one that really made me burst out laughing in the middle of the silent computer lab was "a McDonaldland reject with a walking stick that doesn’t reach the floor". I don’t know why, but that’s comedy gold. Thirdly, I think those are giant stereotypical Irish sideburns on ol’ Cookie O’Puss, although the more I look at it the more it does look like he has stunted, ridiculous T-Rex arms.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 03/18/2004 3:11 PM EST

You mean all of these years I haven’t been celebrating my God-given Catholic holiday? Fuck.

Ghosted by Matt @ 03/18/2004 3:15 PM EST

Maybe next year we can get together and have a big Saint Blaise Day Party! Everybody would wear scarves, or else they’d get pinched, and we’d pass out Ricola to the boys and girls who’d been good all year. Somebody call Hallmark, I’ve got a winner here!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 03/18/2004 6:59 PM EST

i somehow want to much on that icecream cake…was it good??

Ghosted by DefectiveMeats? @ 03/18/2004 7:28 PM EST

the irish are inbred!

Ghosted by nelson @ 03/18/2004 9:41 PM EST

about cookie o’puss’s "arms":
I think they’re supposed to be mutton chops. ya know when you see an old irish guy, well, pretend ones anyway, they always have big gnarly mutton chops.

Ghosted by Jen @ 03/18/2004 11:25 PM EST

Two things:

1) Yes there _were_ Hostess St. Paddy’s day SnoBalls. They where called Lucky Puffs. i had some earlier this week.

2) Someone requested an Italian St. Paddy’s-type holiday? In some major US cities (like San Francisco and New York) Italians use Columbus Day like that, parade and ev’rything. i don’t know why. Didn’t you guys blow him off so that he had to go to Spain for backing?

Ghosted by marvel bunny @ 03/19/2004 12:33 PM EST

Once, in San Fran, many years ago, someone tried to reenact Columbus’s landing and a group of Native American protesters ran out and shoved him back into his rowboat.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 03/19/2004 12:47 PM EST

On St. Patrick’s Day/Night/Morning, on the way home from the bar, me and my associates were discussing the possibilites for other coloured beers. Matt and X-E came to mind as I thought of "Spring Coors" (dyed blue) and "Winter Budweiser" (dyed red).

Ghosted by Jeriko @ 03/19/2004 3:40 PM EST

Actually, even though none of the limited edition stuff Matt mentioned in this piece is available in Ireland, I’m kind of glad.

We have enough of this st. patricks shit in our stores the other 364 days of the year. Tell your old people to stop coming over here and buying it so we can concentrate on our main export: alcahol related public disorder.

Ghosted by ThunderingMike @ 03/19/2004 7:47 PM EST

1) If I remember correctly, St. Patrick wasn’t Irish. (But on his feast day, he, as well as all of us, can be Irish)

2) I believe St. Patrick’s claim-to-fame was ridding the countryside of a certain snake

3) GMTR doesn’t always work to censor free speech

Ghosted by ibinsomniac @ 03/19/2004 8:02 PM EST

FACTS
1. There is a fifth leprachaun movie, with a hip-hop theme
2. Northern Ireland is a country (very few Americans have believed me in the past)
3. I’ve lived in belfast my whole life without hearing a bomb go off (not abnormal)
4. We don’t get green beer or st paddy shakes, but sales of guinness-themed keychains, posters, stationary, drums and the liquid itself increase exponentially.
5. Belfast has the lamest St Paddys day celebration in the world (there’s no funding because certain politicians are total dinosaurs who think it’ll offend). This year it featured Girls Aloud (bland spice-girls continuation) and the reanimated corpse of Shane MaGowan from the pogues (how is he still moving?).

Ghosted by chev happy @ 03/20/2004 7:27 AM EST

Yeah, I’m Irish. And there is a sixth Leprechaun movie.

Leprechaun: Back to Tha Hood.

Ghosted by Sirkus O'Peanuts @ 03/20/2004 2:13 PM EST

I’m pasty, I’m irish & a bunch of other euro-breeds in one. From what I can tell, the green icing squiggles on cookie o’ puss are sideburns. am i the only one who sees this? oh well, it’s irrelevant by now, although people were still celebrating @ the bars last nite. but alas, no shamrock shakes to be found in Denver….

Ghosted by grace @ 03/21/2004 5:12 PM EST

"I was always jealous that the Irish get their own day, but us Scots go home empty handed.

There needs to be a Scottish Day!

Posted by Jeff Mack @ 03/18/2004 11:00 AM EST"

What about Scotchtoberfest?

Ghosted by DJ Maniak @ 03/21/2004 10:03 PM EST

Oh my god! You killed Cookie ‘O Puss. You bastard.

Ghosted by Brias @ 03/22/2004 3:07 PM EST

Uncle O’Grimacy is the best! On the merch page of the band Rutherford B. Hayes Is Dead, they have a t-shirt that you can buy with O’Grimacy on it! http://www.RBHID.com

Ghosted by Jason @ 06/16/2004 6:33 AM EDT

hahahahahaha this is soooo funny. Love it. We don’t get any of that shite…

By the way, the Scots get Burns day. I’m from Dublin, live in Edinburgh. On Burns day, I cooked haggis and drank Lagavulin malt whisky… Paddy’s day was spent drinking cans of Guinness, eating coddle and watching Celtic play on telly.

Cool article though!!

Ghosted by ScaryEire @ 06/21/2004 11:13 AM EDT

hahahahahaha this is soooo funny. Love it. We don’t get any of that shite…

Cool article though!!

Ghosted by ScaryEire @ 06/21/2004 11:13 AM EDT

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