X-Entertainment | The Masters of the Universe Coloring Book.

The Masters of the Universe Coloring Book.

Looking at the main page, I noticed that I hadn't done a He-Man article in many months. Whoops. Making up for some lost time, here's my review of an insane Masters of the Universe Coloring Book, featuring two stories and some strange games and puzzles. The stories contain everything from Skeletor driving clouds to forcing marriage on Teela, so it seemed like something I had to show you. Review spans several pages, but it's mostly a quick read, so get readin' quick.

Posted by Matt on 03/03/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 124 comments

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Oh man, is the kid that’s playing with Skeletor in the Attak Trak commercial totally the kid from the Neverending Story or what?

Chestnuts roasted by big pimpin' @ 03/04/2004 4:08 AM

Matt, I always enjoy your articles but I can’t remember the last one that made me laugh so much. The coloring book was funny but your commentary was funnier. Outstanding work!

Chestnuts roasted by Kit @ 03/04/2004 4:10 AM

Amazing how much fun you can have with some deeply disturbed kids old colouring book..
anyways, here ya go
http://www.iivuli.org/roina/he-man2.jpg

Mer-Man also seems to want He-Man and I don’t see him putting up much a fight, so Skeletor has his work cut out for him..

Chestnuts roasted by iivuli @ 03/04/2004 4:32 AM

Mizzat, I was confused because I was watching "BASEketball" earlier in the day and the "Tell him he’s fat" joke has not let my mind work properly since.

Plus, with my limited sports knowledge, I only know Randy Johnson from the Right Guard dodgeball commercials.

Chestnuts roasted by She-Man @ 03/04/2004 5:44 AM

Didn’t the kid from The Neverending Story die?

I have to admit this does seem to be the artwork of someone insane. Or, insanely angry. I bet this kid got a sleek new He-Man coloring book, and pulled out a sharp lemon yellow crayon to begin his masterpiece. And then, before he could color much more than the feet o’ Skeletor, his mommy called him in the other room, and, for reasons unknown, his insanely angry little brother decided to put a damper on big brother’s He-Man joys. He grabbed the darkest colors he could find (b/c black, red and purple are about as dark as it gets in an 8 pack) and scribbled out his hidden hostilities. When big brother returned, there was a brawl to end all brawls, and to put the thing to bed, mommy threw the MOTU coloring book into the far depths of the closet, only to resurface 20 years later and be thrown onto the thrift store pile.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

I wonder, though, what kids will talk about 20 years from now? What will spark a shiver of recognition through their spines when they see it? Steve Irwin? Old Mad TV episodes? Hokey Pokey Elmo?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 03/04/2004 7:42 AM

Hey, about the whole "sword will be parted" bit- keep in mind that She-ra had the other part of the sword. Or eventually did. In the case of this colouring book, it seems that they were…storing the other half on a mountain?? I don’t know.

Chestnuts roasted by Megan @ 03/04/2004 7:56 AM

*Sigh* In Cloudy Climbs, He-Man was riding the Sky Sled, which is the front part of the Battle Ram.

Chestnuts roasted by John @ 03/04/2004 9:01 AM

Funny stuff, Matt. Looking at the pictures and the deranged coloring made me want to grab some crayons and right what was wrong.
I must admit, though, I too used to color that badly. Well, not THAT badly, but I certainly wasn’t great. It wasn’t until I was seated next to beautiful Michelle Adkins in the second grade and watched her carefully color her coloring book with a soft stroke and a hint of shading that made me really focus on what I was doing. I could never get the subtle, even lines that she did, but I certainly improved after that. I hope the diabolical fiend that colored that book finds the same inspiration.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 03/04/2004 9:26 AM

Just wanted to say that this was KILLER! I am not even that into MotU, but this was hysterical! Great job!!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 03/04/2004 9:26 AM

The Sky Sled looks like an airborn jetski. It’s no wonder he wanted to tool around for a while and catch some wicked hang time off of some clouds and thermal updrafts.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 03/04/2004 9:27 AM

Holy explosive diarrhea, Mattman! This has been/is a f’in horrendous week at work… I cannot wait for the weekend when I can sit in the quiet of my own home and spend my morning drinking detox tea and reading these coloring book articles. Thank you, Matt! You are the working man’s hero.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 03/04/2004 9:41 AM

And bravo to those that have contributed to the "What do Teela and HeMan see" foundation! Please keep the donations coming in!

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 03/04/2004 9:51 AM

Hey! I have that X-Men book around somewheres. That Alphabet Pet, he’s a regular Johnny Carson! If I can dig it out, I try to e-mail an image of it to you, Steve. Any particular preference of Alpha-Pet portrait if and when I find it?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/04/2004 11:44 AM

I am concerned about the fact that this story has created in me a genuine desire to color.

Maybe it will fade by the time I get home. If not, I think I have a Darkwing Duck coloring book that I used for a project in high school.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 03/04/2004 12:21 PM

kingklash: Well, thanks, but I don’t remember specific pictures, other than that the Alphabet Pet gets bigger and explodes during the end. Just any picture, preferable a side shot, that doesn’t have Alphabet Pet being overlapped by any other character is fine.

Please send it to kiyone at tokyo dot com , and make sure there’s "Alphabet Pet" in the subject line, otherwise I’ll delete it as SPAM.

Thank you.

I’d just draw it myself from memory, but my memories of how the Alphabet Pet looked get all mixed up with the Dream Tapir from the movie http://www.furinkan.com/tomobiki/uy/anime/uy2crit.htm">Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer (soon to be re-released in North America as a http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/journal_view.php?journalid=28061&entryid=35669&view=public">"Collectors Edition" DVD, complete with director’s and crew commentary track, subtitled in English, for the two of you that have ever seen that movie).

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 03/04/2004 1:15 PM

That was hella funny, here’s mine.

http://home.comcast.net/~erickprime/he_man.gif

Chestnuts roasted by erickprime @ 03/04/2004 2:05 PM

Roger wilco, Steve. Just don’t blow that horn. I spent too much time and energy on this dream for that glutton to eat it up this soon!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/04/2004 2:27 PM

It’s all the rage on the b3ta board:

http://www.b3ta.com/board/#post2834126

Chestnuts roasted by vitamin_x @ 03/04/2004 2:38 PM

darn those badgers! This is what He-man and the girl REALLY saw.
http://members.aol.com/OhjiiTanaka/heman.jpg

And yes I AM better at photoshop than the slapped together in 30 seconds picture implies.

Chestnuts roasted by sol_fausten @ 03/04/2004 2:53 PM

Teela sure looks hot without that weird crown she wears in the cartoon.

Damn I need a girlfriend…

Chestnuts roasted by servum septum @ 03/04/2004 2:59 PM

Man-at-Arms looks cool when can’t see his face or hear his voice.

Chestnuts roasted by servum septum @ 03/04/2004 3:07 PM

I can see these What do They See pics getting big in an ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’ sorta way.

Chestnuts roasted by Rayzak (my website has hostess sushi!) @ 03/04/2004 4:16 PM

sadly i have/had this exact book, the skeletor eyes think psyched me out!!

Chestnuts roasted by Kelvin @ 03/04/2004 4:18 PM

I’m sorry, but someone had to do it ;_;

http://rohaq.freewebpage.org/images/he-man.gif

I don’t recommend clicking that link unless you have a very very silly sense of humour

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 03/04/2004 4:52 PM

hey matt, i remember having tha page with the skeletor eyes but i dont remember the rest of the book.
but lately x-e is way back on form and is slapping a monkey with its own arse. i loved that one about the chia pet. hee hee hee.

Chestnuts roasted by the jim'll @ 03/04/2004 5:08 PM

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