X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

02/29/2004: New Article: Cobra’s Chia Plot — Part IV!

It’s time for Commander Frack and his troops to pay the piper. In Cobra’s Chia Plot: Part IV, our heroes finally get to meet up with the one and only Cobra Commander, who isn’t too pleased with the pitiful sack of wilted Chia sprouts he’s been delivered. Will our friends make it out alive? Will G.I. Joe make good on their vow to end Cobra’s terrorist ways? There’s surprises and dead bodies at every turn in our continuing story about Cobra soldiers who grow Chia Pets. Sorry it’s late, been a busy week. As for this week, many a new article a’comin. Stay tuned…

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 82 comments

Hee- while everyone else is watching the Oscars I get to enjoy the Chia-y goodness.

Chestnuts roasted by allicat @ 02/29/2004 11:16 PM EST

Wow, your getting quite a collection of 12" Joes going there. Nice stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by goblin22 @ 02/29/2004 11:30 PM EST

nothing more than to say THIRDDDDDD

Chestnuts roasted by big will @ 02/29/2004 11:30 PM EST

this saga’s getting weirder and weirder, with more plot twists than your average Final Fantasy.

I’m still expecting bulbasaur to turn up sometime though.

Chestnuts roasted by solarman @ 02/29/2004 11:43 PM EST

The amazing thing to me is that there’s a cohesive, coherent story in the middle of all this. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, but everything makes perfect sense within the story. Kudos!

Chestnuts roasted by Circleshorts @ 02/29/2004 11:47 PM EST

Young entrepreneurs told they’re too young for the toy industry
http://www.magicvalley.com/wee...ilylife/index.asp?storyID=4364

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/01/2004 1:17 AM EST

I saw that story a bit earlier…wacky. And yes, they’re pretty strict about those age rules. Actually, security is insane at these things. One of the companies — who rent out office space in the building, not just a booth — ordered a few pizzas, and I saw the poor delivery guy get tossed away from the guards and told to walk about two blocks around the corner to another entrance. Pizza terrorism.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/01/2004 1:20 AM EST

Heh, cross-meeting cartoons rocks lol…TMNT will help save them all!
I love the plots Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 03/01/2004 1:24 AM EST

I like the little touches…my favorite part of this one was that CC and Destro are comfy enough with one another to hang out without their masks on.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader @ 03/01/2004 1:27 AM EST

I thought that was a nice touch also, the hangin’. Am I the only one who remembers Cobra Comander and Destro tooling around America without thier identies, masks, or costumes in hawain shirts in a convertable. Around the time Cobra Commander and Destro quit, obviously. Matt’s stuff isn’t that far off. Not even mentioning the G.I.Joe Transformers crossovers from before the current new elseworlds like comics.

Chestnuts roasted by spooky @ 03/01/2004 2:01 AM EST

I have to admit, I was watching Return of the King kick all of the other movies’ asses, but at least this was a nice start to Monday.
I think this one might be my favorite part of the saga so far. Gotta love the rock tumbler. :) Nicely done, Matt! Can’t wait for the next installment.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrea @ 03/01/2004 2:05 AM EST

Heh. Finally things are looking up for poor Storm Shadow. I mean sure he’s been sent off to the rock tumbler sweatshop but he has hott new goggles.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 03/01/2004 2:38 AM EST

Working for Cobra would be fun, you get to be part of all these crazy plots, never cause any serious/permenant harm, and never get hurt beyond a punch or rifle-butt to the face. What’s more: you’re getting paid and have the most hilarious screw-up of a boss ever!

Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 03/01/2004 3:42 AM EST

Oh good Christ, I can see this crazy shit getting out of hand in a hurry. What’s next? Some of those big rubber WWF wrestlers from the 80’s? Some real obscure shit like Rude Dog toys? Bravestar? Mr. T? Goofy Power Ranger junk?

Oh, I’m still waiting for the next update. How chocolaty? Real chocolaty!

Chestnuts roasted by Rayzak (my website has hostess sushi!) @ 03/01/2004 3:44 AM EST

Ya know, the one time we tried growing a Chia Pet rip-off (one of those pantyhose heads with the grass hair), when it got to the point where it started wilting, it became a home, or, rather, breeding ground for probably literally thousands of tiny, annoying bugs (probably gnats, though I’m not sure). If I were you, I’d toss it, but I suppose you need it for the big comedic payoff in two weeks, so… I dunno… maybe keep it outside from now on? I know it’s still cold in Jersey this time of year, but, still, it’s not like keeping it alive is much of a priority anymore.

Or maybe it’s too cold to get those insects in the first place? I think my father got his for his birthday some year, and that’s in August, when there’s a lot more active insect life.

Anyhow, I was pleased to see Finding Nemo win Best Animated Feature (though only because Millenium Actress wasn’t even nominated) and Sofia Coppola win Best Original Screenplay for Lost in Translation, or, rather, I only heard about them winning from Yahoo Movies, since, as someone whom is, sorry, "Bored by the Rings" and knew Return of the King would sweep, I opted to watch Star Wars: The Phantom Menace TWICE on the east coast and west coast Fox affiliates (from Boston and Seattle). Call me soulless, but the Lord of the Rings films just aren’t my bag, sorry. They just have too much gravitas for my tastes. (They’re just films about wizards and elves and orcs and whatnot… why must they take everything so bloody seriously?)

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 03/01/2004 3:46 AM EST

The saga continues!! When it’s all over it should be made into a live action movie!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 03/01/2004 4:20 AM EST

Speaking of the Oscars, I had no idea that William Zabka (sp?) AKA "The Blonde Haired Teen Villan in Every 80’s Movie" was nominated for an Oscar for short films until I heard his name, I’m just sad he didn’t win.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 03/01/2004 6:12 AM EST

Another fun filled story. I miss my color changing Zartan. *Sigh*

Oh well, speaking of live action movies- I was fishing with a friend of mine off the giant pier down here in St Petersburg, Florida when I decided to motor his dinghy over to the Bounty that is usually docked there this time of year. I don’t know if any of you have heard of the movie "Mutiny on the Bounty", but the full rigged ship that was used in that movie is docked at the pier this time of year. As I motored the dinghy up to it, I noticed strange equipment like a crane and alot of comotion on the decks. My buddy noticed a Jolly Roger flag with the name "Spongebob Squarepants" on it. Then we saw people in pirate outfits bouncing around on the ship. I then realised that we had accidentl;y stumbled on the set for the new Live action Spongebob Squarepants movie. The patrol boat that was supposed to be keeping the area clear finally saw our little boat and waved us off.
So, when you see the scene were there are pirates dancing (and one of them had a hula hoop) around the deck of a ship chanting "Spongebob Squarepants", That was the scene where I crashed the set. Yes, a hula hoop;. I still don’t know why.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 03/01/2004 8:47 AM EST

good choice in carpet Matt. I have the same color burbor in my basement.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 03/01/2004 9:07 AM EST

Looks less like fighting and more like tender lovin’ huggin’ going on between the GI Joes and the Cobras.

In related news, Average Joe 2 is on today. I think Larissas secret is that she’s homeless. Homeless indeed.

And to the person who spent waaaaaay too much on the 20th anniversary Optimus Prime, return it! Wal-mart has quite a few in stock for 63 bucks. And K-mart will sell you a roll of toilet paper for 64 bucks. Tuh-hehehe, off I go!

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 03/01/2004 10:03 AM EST

This is great stuff! Keep it coming.

Chestnuts roasted by JJ @ 03/01/2004 10:09 AM EST

OMG! Ninja Turtles! I didn’t see that one coming! LOL!

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 03/01/2004 11:50 AM EST

Now that it’s been mentioned in this episode, Cobra infiltrating flea markets isn’t that far off. From time to time, I like to buy cheap crap knock-off robots. And the occasional Atari 2600 /7800 game.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/01/2004 11:54 AM EST

omg! the turtles are coming! when you buy all those toys, is that technically a tax write off since its a business expense?

Chestnuts roasted by Sideburned Hamster @ 03/01/2004 12:02 PM EST

Nice..
Just when I was about to go to bed too

btw, in case no one noticed, Return of the King got 11 Awards including best picture!
w00t! Thats a tie with Titanic and Ben-Hur for those paying attention..
(seen that comming)

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 03/01/2004 12:08 PM EST

i can one up alli-cat as i watched the oscars AND read the next chapter of the greatest saga since yesterday

Chestnuts roasted by self-proclaimed @ 03/01/2004 12:12 PM EST

I just have to say, I’ve been reading this site for years now, and this has to be one of the most amazing things you’ve ever done Keep up the good work, and keep this epic going.

Chestnuts roasted by TINE Kev @ 03/01/2004 12:19 PM EST

Is it just me or does the easter egg in the logo just send you back to the main page?

For more toy fun check my website
(shameless plug)

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 03/01/2004 12:21 PM EST

Was Susan Surandon’s dress SUPPOSED to look like it was going to fall off any second? I was scared :( Nightmares tonight.

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 03/01/2004 12:22 PM EST

Okay, let me get this straight. Coming up next:

1) The Ninja Turtles fight Cobra.
2) Some monster will hatch inside the Chia Pet.
3) Storm Shadow will attempt to use a Rock Tumbler.

Yip, I’ll be there.

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 03/01/2004 12:24 PM EST

Gonna have to mark my calendar again.

Chestnuts roasted by Kate @ 03/01/2004 12:28 PM EST

Great continuation, but I think it would be hilarious if the 20th anniversary Optimus Prime made an appearance. I went out and bought that beast and it was well worth the 80 I paid. Knowing Matt he already has it and is scripting him in as we speak.

Chestnuts roasted by Timmy the Wonderkid @ 03/01/2004 12:47 PM EST

Great story, Matt. Could it be that you were inspired to do a serialized story by a little site called Action Figure Adventures? It would only be fitting, seeing as how we were inspired to start the site based on your past sketches. If anyone wants more stuff like this, check out AFA by clicking on my name!

Keep up the good work, Matt!

(sorry if this is the third time I’ve posted… my post looked as if it wasn’t going through…)

Chestnuts roasted by G'Noose @ 03/01/2004 12:49 PM EST

This only ended up as a serial because Chia Pets take two weeks to grow. This only ended up as an article to begin with because I ran out of time to fit the Chia Pet in with December’s Advent Calendar. Funny how that worked out.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/01/2004 12:51 PM EST

I see. Well, it’s great, either way. I was serious though, we who created AFA were inspired by the sketches here, particularly Dr. Zaius and Whiplash’s cake-baking adventure.

Chestnuts roasted by G'Noose @ 03/01/2004 12:57 PM EST

Not just you… we’ll have to wait untill Matt wakes up to get the bonus footage… ; )

Chestnuts roasted by Doc @ 03/01/2004 1:32 PM EST

GRAH! You’re killing me here! Although you’re obviously doing something right(like usual) since I’m actually slightly angered each time I see that damn "to be continued in 2 weeks" image, and then eagerly await the end of the 2 weeks.

Great work on the whole Cobra Chia Plot saga so far, can’t wait for the next one!

Chestnuts roasted by Marion @ 03/01/2004 1:43 PM EST

This really is turning out to be an epic bit of story telling. Can’t wait for the next installment.

Chestnuts roasted by Rood @ 03/01/2004 2:29 PM EST

My favorite part was when I said "kill the carrier."

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 03/01/2004 2:43 PM EST

… the rumbling of the rock tumbler and the cries of "Fifty cents takes the box!" leave the Joes feeling weary and downtrodden. What if Cobra actually wins this time? They all nod in agreement that THAT is one hell of a plan.

And then, off in the distance, the sounds of singing break the silence. The song is familiar, yet unrecognizable. Then, as the song grows louder and the words more clear, the Joes all fist-pump the sky, realizing that the end was not yet near. And, what did they hear, you ask?

"MON-chichi, monchichi
Oh, so soft and cud-ul-lee!
Put their thumbs in their mouths
They’re really neat!
I love to tickle their lit-tul feet!"

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 03/01/2004 2:50 PM EST

That’s really spooky, Traj. I was *this close* to incorporating Monchichi dolls into this one. Seriously.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/01/2004 2:55 PM EST

To be fair to the Toy Fair peeps, there was that pizza terror bank robbery where the innocent delivery guy got blown up. Still unsolved, too.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/01/2004 3:18 PM EST

Stilewalker, since the Spongebob show has had live-action segments before (when Patrick and Spongebob leave the ocean they use a realistic starfish and cleaning sponge, or random real people like when the voice of Spongebob, Tom Kenney of Mr Show fame, hosted an episode as the pirate from the show’s theme song) I can understand some elaborate segments for the feature film like the one you described.

The Spanish version of the theme song:
http://www.aprilwinchell.com/m...timedia/media/mp3/Sponge%2Emp3

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/01/2004 3:29 PM EST

GI Joe/TMNT vs. Skeletor/Cobra finals over the Bambooo Peanut. That’s my prediction.

And does anyone else think Michaelangelo looks naked w/out his belt on?

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 03/01/2004 4:02 PM EST

Ooh, freaky!

Time-Life Books presents, Mysteries of the Unknown! (Gasp!) A quarter-centurian, doing the dishes, suddenly gets a burning sensation in his right hand. At the same time, four hundred miles away, someone he’s never met sings about Monchichis.

Coincidence?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 03/01/2004 4:29 PM EST

Why the Monchichi fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/01/2004 4:44 PM EST

this just keeps getting better and better

Chestnuts roasted by meef @ 03/01/2004 5:12 PM EST

I’m waiting for Matt to have a Furby in there, but I guess the big t.v. stomach thing is close enough.

Chestnuts roasted by Spongerob @ 03/01/2004 5:23 PM EST

Man this thing is freaking awesome! The two week deadline is killing me, though. You really need to have some old WWF figures in there at some point. Come on, we need Triple H to show up and nail somebody with a sledge hammer…..

Chestnuts roasted by West @ 03/01/2004 5:48 PM EST

This still brings back plesant memories of playing with my friends through action figures… Ahhh, those were the good old days. Though we only had 5 inch Joe figures and some crummy half-put-together vehicles. But it was still memorable, Dang it!

Chestnuts roasted by Paul Ortego @ 03/01/2004 6:28 PM EST

For a fight scene, there sure was a lot of hugging, and laying down.

jkjk!! <3<3<3

Chestnuts roasted by Talk About The Future @ 03/01/2004 6:52 PM EST

This is probably one of the best epic’s ever, I pray it will never end.
I am sure your article has generated some increased Joe sales, as I know I have already bought 5 if the 12" ones just because of this article.

Chestnuts roasted by Mindsuckr @ 03/01/2004 9:23 PM EST

Truly a great work. And the Ninja Turtles? Beutiful….seriously though, that must be some seriously great stuff your smoking/drinking man!

Chestnuts roasted by Jawas eat babies. @ 03/01/2004 9:32 PM EST

I just got that 12" Cobra Commander on eBay actually. He should be here within the week. I know that Agent Faces is the one with the Zartan/Mindbender/etc masks, but who is that "real" Zartan? I don’t recall ever seeing that figure before…

Chestnuts roasted by Jim @ 03/01/2004 11:40 PM EST

The "real" Zartan is indeed Zartan — brand new figure. Really neat one, too. Gotta give Hasbro credit, they’re kicking ass with this line so far.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/01/2004 11:45 PM EST

Now that I look on eBay I do see that he’s real. That’s pretty cool. Have you seen the silver helmet version Valor Vs. Venom Cobra Commander yet? He’s around on eBay as well and is awesome.

I have a question though. A few years or so ago, there was a line of military figures. I don’t know who made them, they were 12" tall and had accessories out the ass. Like guys with bombs and knives and urban warriors and crap. Do you know what they are/were?

Chestnuts roasted by Jim @ 03/02/2004 1:00 AM EST

How many installments are we gonna have to wait for? I never thought this one would come, and its here and 10 minutes later, it’s done. cruel indeed. i can’t wait for 2 more weeks… someday it’ll be here… im thinkin the turtles couldn’t possibly do anything to cobra, i mean cobra does have those 4 foot guns and everything. oh well. hurry up those 2 weeks!

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 03/02/2004 8:47 AM EST

The Spanish Spongebob theme song and Oscar news in the same place? This is the best comments page ever.
Are those the 80’s/90’s Turtles figures, or some of the new ones?

Chestnuts roasted by Alt-Tab @ 03/02/2004 11:22 AM EST

Also wanted to comment that Cobra Commander looks like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 03/02/2004 12:25 PM EST

TMNT? I can’t wait…

Chestnuts roasted by The ORIGINAL Paul @ 03/02/2004 7:49 PM EST

Jim: There are about 4 (or more) different companies who make serious, adult-oriented 12-inch military figures now. The two lines easily found in US stores are:
- US-based 21st Century’s Ultimate Soldier line (they also make 1:18 3′3/4 inch Joe-scale figures and vehicles) http://www.21stcenturytoys.com/

- BlueBox Toys/BBi’s Elite Force line (they also make 1:18 3′3/4 inch Joe-scale figures and vehicles as well). http://www.blueboxtoys.com/bbi/index.html#

Both companies make various figures, though 21st Century concentrates on WWII while BBi concentrate on modern soldiers from all over the world. They also made a George W. Bush in flightsuit figure last year.

Chestnuts roasted by FFN @ 03/02/2004 10:23 PM EST

What’s the deal with the IV in "Part IV" being a link to something called bonus.wmv? It just goes back to the main page currently.

Chestnuts roasted by PhotoBoy @ 03/04/2004 5:13 AM EST

You’re from St. Pete too Stilewalker? I’ll be down there starting sunday for spring break (long story, don’t ask).

They ruined the Bounty for stinkin’ spongebob? Wow. Talk about retarded. Might hafta see the movie though just to see if you made it in…

Chestnuts roasted by Eric @ 03/04/2004 8:31 PM EST

Where is part V? This is all I live for.

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 03/22/2004 3:17 PM EST

Yeah, seriously! Come on Matt! You’re slacking!

Chestnuts roasted by Coldplaya @ 03/24/2004 8:04 PM EST

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 04/08/2004 10:12 AM EDT

CHIA PLOT V! CHIA PLOT V, NOW!

Chestnuts roasted by alitnil @ 04/10/2004 6:16 AM EDT

My wife thinks I’m crazy for laughing so much.. great story!

Chestnuts roasted by eraserhead @ 04/10/2004 8:28 PM EDT

Seriously this is by far one of the best pieces of writing I think I have ever read. More plot twists than a Vince Russo angle! Check out my website, Studio 54! If you are a fan of XE then you should love it! Matt when will we get to see the next installment, don’t leave us hanging dude!

Chestnuts roasted by West @ 04/13/2004 10:06 PM EDT

Come on, it’s just playing with dolls and taking pictures. Don’t you do this every night.

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 04/14/2004 10:43 AM EDT

Matt, it has been almost 2 months now, and still no part V!?!?!?! Are you dead? I’ll bet that Cookie Puss has taken over your body and while you can still shine through by posting reviews, you just don’t have the power to write the rest of the Chia saga. Fight it Matt!!! You are stronger than cookie puss and you can’t let us down!! Damn that big nosed fucker to hell!!

Chestnuts roasted by beatupyourmom @ 04/14/2004 7:44 PM EDT

2 weeks, 2 months? You could dedicate a website to this tale!

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 04/28/2004 4:56 PM EDT

Matt, what happened to Part 5??? Cmon man, dont keep us in suspense any longer…You did the X-Mas Story thing which was entertaining but the Chia Plot has to be finished…PLEASE?!??!?!? My urge to commit a horrible disgusting suicide using household items cant be stopped without something to keep me from seeing what would happen if I tried to beat myself senseless with a can opener…Please!?!?!?

Chestnuts roasted by Tree @ 05/08/2004 4:18 PM EDT

What heppens next i gotta know.

Chestnuts roasted by the not so mysterious @ 05/13/2004 11:23 PM EDT

It’s been three months! This is worse than the five year wait for Rocky V.

Chestnuts roasted by Need...Chia...Plot...Conclusion @ 05/30/2004 7:07 PM EDT

FINSH IT i need to know

Chestnuts roasted by cobra 's ch ch ch chia @ 06/01/2004 3:35 PM EDT

Need Completeion!

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 06/15/2004 3:41 PM EDT

MATT PLEASE DO THE NEXT PART. PRETTY PLEASE.

Chestnuts roasted by RYAN @ 06/25/2004 4:01 PM EDT

MATT PLEASE DO THE NEXT PART. PRETTY PLEASE.

Chestnuts roasted by RYAN @ 06/25/2004 4:01 PM EDT

Is it time to declare war on Matt for NOT posting a conclusion to this thing or what. It has been what… almost 3 months now. Hell Matt send ME the figures and I will write up a ending for you!

Chestnuts roasted by West @ 07/15/2004 12:25 PM EDT

Is it time to declare war on Matt for NOT posting a conclusion to this thing or what. It has been what… almost 3 months now. Hell Matt send ME the figures and I will write up a ending for you!

Chestnuts roasted by West @ 07/15/2004 12:25 PM EDT

fuck it dude where’s the third part? i want a third part now! hurry up!

Chestnuts roasted by john @ 09/10/2004 3:11 AM EDT

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