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02/29/2004: New Article: Cobra’s Chia Plot — Part IV!

It’s time for Commander Frack and his troops to pay the piper. In Cobra’s Chia Plot: Part IV, our heroes finally get to meet up with the one and only Cobra Commander, who isn’t too pleased with the pitiful sack of wilted Chia sprouts he’s been delivered. Will our friends make it out alive? Will G.I. Joe make good on their vow to end Cobra’s terrorist ways? There’s surprises and dead bodies at every turn in our continuing story about Cobra soldiers who grow Chia Pets. Sorry it’s late, been a busy week. As for this week, many a new article a’comin. Stay tuned…

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 83 comments

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For a fight scene, there sure was a lot of hugging, and laying down.

jkjk!! <3<3<3

Ghosted by Talk About The Future @ 03/01/2004 6:52 PM EST

This is probably one of the best epic’s ever, I pray it will never end.
I am sure your article has generated some increased Joe sales, as I know I have already bought 5 if the 12" ones just because of this article.

Ghosted by Mindsuckr @ 03/01/2004 9:23 PM EST

Truly a great work. And the Ninja Turtles? Beutiful….seriously though, that must be some seriously great stuff your smoking/drinking man!

Ghosted by Jawas eat babies. @ 03/01/2004 9:32 PM EST

I just got that 12" Cobra Commander on eBay actually. He should be here within the week. I know that Agent Faces is the one with the Zartan/Mindbender/etc masks, but who is that "real" Zartan? I don’t recall ever seeing that figure before…

Ghosted by Jim @ 03/01/2004 11:40 PM EST

The "real" Zartan is indeed Zartan — brand new figure. Really neat one, too. Gotta give Hasbro credit, they’re kicking ass with this line so far.

Ghosted by Matt @ 03/01/2004 11:45 PM EST

Now that I look on eBay I do see that he’s real. That’s pretty cool. Have you seen the silver helmet version Valor Vs. Venom Cobra Commander yet? He’s around on eBay as well and is awesome.

I have a question though. A few years or so ago, there was a line of military figures. I don’t know who made them, they were 12" tall and had accessories out the ass. Like guys with bombs and knives and urban warriors and crap. Do you know what they are/were?

Ghosted by Jim @ 03/02/2004 1:00 AM EST

How many installments are we gonna have to wait for? I never thought this one would come, and its here and 10 minutes later, it’s done. cruel indeed. i can’t wait for 2 more weeks… someday it’ll be here… im thinkin the turtles couldn’t possibly do anything to cobra, i mean cobra does have those 4 foot guns and everything. oh well. hurry up those 2 weeks!

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 03/02/2004 8:47 AM EST

The Spanish Spongebob theme song and Oscar news in the same place? This is the best comments page ever.
Are those the 80’s/90’s Turtles figures, or some of the new ones?

Ghosted by Alt-Tab @ 03/02/2004 11:22 AM EST

Also wanted to comment that Cobra Commander looks like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 03/02/2004 12:25 PM EST

TMNT? I can’t wait…

Ghosted by The ORIGINAL Paul @ 03/02/2004 7:49 PM EST

Jim: There are about 4 (or more) different companies who make serious, adult-oriented 12-inch military figures now. The two lines easily found in US stores are:
- US-based 21st Century’s Ultimate Soldier line (they also make 1:18 3′3/4 inch Joe-scale figures and vehicles) http://www.21stcenturytoys.com/

- BlueBox Toys/BBi’s Elite Force line (they also make 1:18 3′3/4 inch Joe-scale figures and vehicles as well). http://www.blueboxtoys.com/bbi/index.html#

Both companies make various figures, though 21st Century concentrates on WWII while BBi concentrate on modern soldiers from all over the world. They also made a George W. Bush in flightsuit figure last year.

Ghosted by FFN @ 03/02/2004 10:23 PM EST

What’s the deal with the IV in "Part IV" being a link to something called bonus.wmv? It just goes back to the main page currently.

Ghosted by PhotoBoy @ 03/04/2004 5:13 AM EST

You’re from St. Pete too Stilewalker? I’ll be down there starting sunday for spring break (long story, don’t ask).

They ruined the Bounty for stinkin’ spongebob? Wow. Talk about retarded. Might hafta see the movie though just to see if you made it in…

Ghosted by Eric @ 03/04/2004 8:31 PM EST

Where is part V? This is all I live for.

Ghosted by sixpointsix @ 03/22/2004 3:17 PM EST

Yeah, seriously! Come on Matt! You’re slacking!

Ghosted by Coldplaya @ 03/24/2004 8:04 PM EST

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Ghosted by sixpointsix @ 04/08/2004 10:12 AM EDT

CHIA PLOT V! CHIA PLOT V, NOW!

Ghosted by alitnil @ 04/10/2004 6:16 AM EDT

My wife thinks I’m crazy for laughing so much.. great story!

Ghosted by eraserhead @ 04/10/2004 8:28 PM EDT

Seriously this is by far one of the best pieces of writing I think I have ever read. More plot twists than a Vince Russo angle! Check out my website, Studio 54! If you are a fan of XE then you should love it! Matt when will we get to see the next installment, don’t leave us hanging dude!

Ghosted by West @ 04/13/2004 10:06 PM EDT

Come on, it’s just playing with dolls and taking pictures. Don’t you do this every night.

Ghosted by sixpointsix @ 04/14/2004 10:43 AM EDT

Matt, it has been almost 2 months now, and still no part V!?!?!?! Are you dead? I’ll bet that Cookie Puss has taken over your body and while you can still shine through by posting reviews, you just don’t have the power to write the rest of the Chia saga. Fight it Matt!!! You are stronger than cookie puss and you can’t let us down!! Damn that big nosed fucker to hell!!

Ghosted by beatupyourmom @ 04/14/2004 7:44 PM EDT

2 weeks, 2 months? You could dedicate a website to this tale!

Ghosted by sixpointsix @ 04/28/2004 4:56 PM EDT

Matt, what happened to Part 5??? Cmon man, dont keep us in suspense any longer…You did the X-Mas Story thing which was entertaining but the Chia Plot has to be finished…PLEASE?!??!?!? My urge to commit a horrible disgusting suicide using household items cant be stopped without something to keep me from seeing what would happen if I tried to beat myself senseless with a can opener…Please!?!?!?

Ghosted by Tree @ 05/08/2004 4:18 PM EDT

What heppens next i gotta know.

Ghosted by the not so mysterious @ 05/13/2004 11:23 PM EDT

It’s been three months! This is worse than the five year wait for Rocky V.

Ghosted by Need...Chia...Plot...Conclusion @ 05/30/2004 7:07 PM EDT

FINSH IT i need to know

Ghosted by cobra 's ch ch ch chia @ 06/01/2004 3:35 PM EDT

Need Completeion!

Ghosted by Ian @ 06/15/2004 3:41 PM EDT

MATT PLEASE DO THE NEXT PART. PRETTY PLEASE.

Ghosted by RYAN @ 06/25/2004 4:01 PM EDT

MATT PLEASE DO THE NEXT PART. PRETTY PLEASE.

Ghosted by RYAN @ 06/25/2004 4:01 PM EDT

Is it time to declare war on Matt for NOT posting a conclusion to this thing or what. It has been what… almost 3 months now. Hell Matt send ME the figures and I will write up a ending for you!

Ghosted by West @ 07/15/2004 12:25 PM EDT

Is it time to declare war on Matt for NOT posting a conclusion to this thing or what. It has been what… almost 3 months now. Hell Matt send ME the figures and I will write up a ending for you!

Ghosted by West @ 07/15/2004 12:25 PM EDT

fuck it dude where’s the third part? i want a third part now! hurry up!

Ghosted by john @ 09/10/2004 3:11 AM EDT

I am still waiting

Ghosted by Sixpointsix @ 02/09/2010 5:33 PM EST

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This entry was posted on Sunday, February 29th, 2004 at 11:14 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.