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Two new articles! Freddy’s Bubble Gum & the TMNT Fan Club Kit!

I tried out something new today, let's see how it works out. Instead of taking something that can be summed up in three words and stretching it out for sixty pages, I took two things and created two shorter articles. They didn't end up being that much shorter, actually, but they're still much less of a drain to put together. If the feedback's in its favor, maybe I'll start doing this a little more often.

First up, it's Freddy's Bubble Gum! Made by Topps in 1989, Mr. Krueger took his Elm Street franchise to new heights by letting kids chew his unholy Chiclets. I have no idea why I find this stupid gum so interesting, but I can't help myself. I just stare and stare at it, all the time, wondering where the Hell it came from. Going from one side of the universe to the other, the second article deals with the Ninja Turtles...

It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fan Club Kit! An exclusive offer advertised on the earliest Ninja Turtles action figures' packaging, kids received everything from a sticker to a bandana, and even a letter from some guy they'd never heard of. The article provides an in-depth look at the packet's contents, and I kinda go overboard when talking about the really cool envelope. But you know me. I love my envelopes. By the way, tomorrow's my birthday. I'm going to be so fucking old.

Posted by Matt on 02/05/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 135 comments

Happy birthday, Matt. You should watch out for that gum. It’s obviously cursed, and cursed gum and birthdays mix about as well as oil and penguins.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 02/06/2004 5:35 AM

Jesus Christ Gesis. You own a Delorean and your Aunt told you you could fart bubbles? You are, or at least are surrounded by, the coolest people in the world.

Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 02/06/2004 5:59 AM

Happy Birthday! The older you get means the longer you’re alive, which means the more fun things you write about.

Keep on livin’!

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 02/06/2004 6:37 AM

Happy Birthday Matt..
Hope you get hammered outta yer mind today ;)

Definatly do the short article thing.. nice surprise to load up X-E before I leave for work and find 2 articles!
Almost missed my ride reading them tho.. hehe, he’s beeping up a storm out there, gotta go! ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 02/06/2004 7:15 AM

First of all. Great articles Matt. Every one is talking about the Turtles…which is cool, but let’s give my boy Freddy some love. Freddy is what brought me to this site. I think the gum should have been a deep red color. Then you could pretend you were eating the dried up flakes of blood from Freddy’s victims.

Gesis – I envy you greatly. I will eventually be buying a Delorean. It is on the list. What have you learned about getting parts for it? Seems like that would be the most expensive part.
There is a guy down here who has a Delorean and his personalized license plate says:
FLUXED
That is just so awsome. Much better then the stream of black smoke emanating from his exhaust pipe.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 02/06/2004 8:37 AM

I think the mystery of the gum label is pretty much solved. That shot is a "vote me" pose. Yes, good people, Freddy’s running for president. He got my vote.

Happy Birthday, Matt !
Have a look at your mail today – There will be nothing with my name on it.

Chestnuts roasted by Creature SH @ 02/06/2004 8:49 AM

Happy Birthday Matt! I like the 2 article format too. I have kind of a short attention span, so it’s nice to have some variety…

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 02/06/2004 9:15 AM

Happy Quarter of a Century, Matt! I remember, years ago, when I turned a quarter of a century… Y2K, the Bush/Gore election, still waiting patiently for the Lord of the Rings trilogy to start… those were the days.

Duck must be busy w/ school. Hey, check in once in awhile.

I like the choice of the two article setup, too. I was totally into the Freddy article, while the TMNT article was skipped. Sorry. But, at least I was happy.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 02/06/2004 9:53 AM

Big Freddy fan here as a kid! That gum was awful, even when it was fresh! But, hey kids who idolize badly burned child molestors who now stalk teens in their dreams get what they deserve. I used to have the stickerbook, the maxx f/x doll and just about any piece of shit they slapped my man Krueger on. Ah, the good old politically incoreect days….

Chestnuts roasted by Gerald James @ 02/06/2004 10:11 AM

Happy Birthday, Matt! 25 hurts a little, huh?

Chestnuts roasted by Avery @ 02/06/2004 10:35 AM

I had the uk version of the turtles fan club pack. I got a green pen and a letter and a badge.

and that was it. Damn you lucky yanks and your magical bandanas and comics!

Chestnuts roasted by vyle @ 02/06/2004 10:58 AM

I feel so young! Urgh.

I was never into Nightmare on Elm Street, though when Freddy Vs. Jason came out I went and rented the older Nightmare flicks.

Turtles though, I was a Turtles fanatic. I still have a bunch of the old episodes on VHS. It’s kinda sad when you see an article on the alien meatballs and scream "I have that one! Yaha!"

Or the episode where Rocksteady and Bebop became mutants. I haven’t watched that one in awhile, but I seem to remember that was the episode where the Turtles all had to fight these big robot death machines of doom that Shredder threw at ‘em.

Nothing with Krang. *sad*

Chestnuts roasted by Snowman @ 02/06/2004 11:20 AM

this my first post i have to say this this my favorite website im 18 and alot of the stuff is before my time but still enjoy all the articles. I always wait with baited breath for new articles, since you mentioned the tmnt fanclub what about the gi-joe fanclub. I remember there being flag points (im pretty sure thats what they were called) you could send away for limited edition figures. thanks for all the side spliting articles so far keep it up!

Chestnuts roasted by vintage_vibe @ 02/06/2004 11:35 AM

Does Dr. Forrester’s Double-Butt Graft count as a Wuzzle?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/06/2004 11:55 AM

Happy Berfday Matt!

And to naysay, I prefer your other format. These articles are funny, but they seem to meander from the point (if there was any) and end rather abruptly. Besides, I think its the over-analysis that gives your articles their unique charm…so don’t let these other "quick-fifty" types sway your writing style…listen to me!!! I’m a random internet poster who actually makes an impact in your life! And if I don’t, well dammit I SHOULD BE!

Chestnuts roasted by Phandral @ 02/06/2004 12:40 PM

I get what you’re saying, though I’d bet that I meander from the point just as much with the longer stuff. :)

I think it just boils down to what’s being written about. Freddy Gum can’t be a 3,000 word article, and with the way I do movie reviews, they can’t be a 1,000 word article. I’ll decide which works best as the topics hit.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/06/2004 12:44 PM

Matt, I think I joined that fan club too, but it was probably in the early 90′s, since I don’t remember getting the comic. Remember those maps of the Turtles’ Sewer and the descriptions of everything that would come with buying certain vehicles? I loved looking at those things.

Chestnuts roasted by Digger @ 02/06/2004 12:49 PM

At work in Schaumburg, IL right now… Don’t know where the bandana factory is, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Katie @ 02/06/2004 1:29 PM

For a brief time I tried collecting Popsicle Pete points – I just never had the patience to stick something like that out. I was a big Ninja Turtles fan, though. The best was Raphael because he had a red bandanna. And red is the best colour.

Chestnuts roasted by Kristen @ 02/06/2004 1:51 PM

Happy birthday Matt, first of all. :)

Secondly, I found http://www.junglegum.com/Joy/gum.html">this site that at least mentions Freddy gum, if you scroll down to F; not sure if it’s the same stuff though.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen @ 02/06/2004 1:55 PM

man, i never joined the tmnt club. i feel so left out. i had the tmnt house thing thogh. it had a telephone pole and the lines would become a swing…WOW! i just remembered the karate kid junk..like the dojo and the dolls..oh man..i want them again..screw tmnt KARATE KID DOLLS!

Chestnuts roasted by nelson @ 02/06/2004 1:58 PM

Ok first off those are not "four Raphaels" If you knew anything about the TMNT you would know that all four Turtles wore red bandanas in the original comic books, and they still do in the Mirage Studios comic book series

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 02/06/2004 2:32 PM

Okay second off if you read the sentence afterwards you’d see that he mentioned it but instead you just came and griped first and boy do you look like a stoopid shithead now!

Chestnuts roasted by Idiot Catcher @ 02/06/2004 2:44 PM

1) Happy Birthday, dude. You rock. Keep up the awesome work. I don’t know if you’ll be proud or not by knowing this but 85% of what you write here makes sense to a Brazilian 80′s kid. So your work reaches all over the globe too. Congrats.

2) I like the 2-short-article format. We get more stuff to read for the same price AND you don’t get to be as tired as if you were doing a huge one full of nonsense just to fill up your quota.

3) I almost fell outta my chair when I got to the site yesterday, after sending you an e-mail the night before about the He-Man petition, and seeing his mug plastered on the front page. I knew you’d be there for him!

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 02/06/2004 2:47 PM

Well, I for one was one of the people that hated when the Turtles went cartoony. My dad bought me a copy of the first ever original Eastman and Laird TMNT comic about a month after it first came out, and I was hooked. The original turtles were much darker, more violent, and even said some swears.

Don’t get me wrong, after I got used to the idea of the cartoon color-coded turtles (the only way to tell the difference in the original comics was by their weapon), I still liked everything TMNT, but to this day I still like the original Turtle comics (along with Fugitoid) much, much better.

Chestnuts roasted by alienmagic @ 02/06/2004 3:04 PM

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