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02/03/2004: New Article: Eating Spongebob Squarepants.

The 11th hour…just in time. Today’s article is a special feature about some of the incredibly many Spongebob Squarepants food promotions that have just hit store shelves, ranging from Pop Tarts to cereal, popsicles, Cheez-It crackers, fruit snacks and more. He even got his own macaroni and cheese! He’s pretty much everywhere you look in the supermarkets these days — it’s almost as bad as those Hulk promotions we looked at last summer. Here’s the article, including several really giant pictures that may potentially cause hunger. When will it end? When there’s Spongebob chicken.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 136 comments

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Matt what are your initials?
Your tax attorney must have a REALLY long convo w/you every year.
Great article. Funny how it’s now the main line cereal companies (Kellogg’s) doing the themed cereal.
Kids Bop Volume 5? Did I miss something?

Ghosted by TOP1214 @ 02/03/2004 11:27 PM EST

Fine Job. My little cousin has Kidz Bop, and now knows the words to POD. Heh….

Ghosted by Atrain 9000 @ 02/03/2004 11:32 PM EST

Aye, Spongebob is certainly everywhere. My 3 year old son loves Spongebob, me being 26 I like the cartoon as well. But my son wants everything Spongebob. I remember the good ole days of Nickelodeon… you know, shows like You Can’t Do that on Television. I remember ditching school in the ’80s and watching the now ‘classic’ Nick Jr line-up, shows they wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole now. Granted, I would never admit to my friends that I was ditching school and being relegated to watch Nick Jr. but you have to take the pro’s with the con’s.

Ghosted by Justus Cade @ 02/03/2004 11:39 PM EST

I’m in a state of spongebob madness right now… can’t help but love the guy! Great article!

Ghosted by gurge @ 02/03/2004 11:40 PM EST

Not a fan of the big yellow guy myself, so it was a bit tough for me to read, but I’ve seen most of this stuff in the local minor groceries, and it’s all NUUUUUUUTS!

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 02/03/2004 11:41 PM EST

Funny thing is, I noticed all the Spongebob stuff the other day and thought it’d make a perfect X-E article. And here it is!

Ghosted by Lyss @ 02/03/2004 11:46 PM EST

Spongebob’s growth in the supermarkets remind me of when they taught us how bacteria reproduces and multiplies in a room. I watched in awe as Spongebob strawberry juice that contains no juice (Coffee Talk. . . discuss) raped, pillaged and plundered through the aisles until there was Spongebob Garlic Powder, Spongebob Teriyaki Marinade, and Spongebob Maxi Pads with wings. Too bad I hate the guy. . . otherwise I would work my shopping list to exclusive Spongebobness.

Ghosted by Kata @ 02/04/2004 12:04 PM EST

Ah, but they used to have BLUE Spongebob Mac n Cheese. In a special bigger box I think.

I had it. It was blue. Yeah…. Blue. Cheese.

Ghosted by Piscez @ 02/04/2004 12:08 PM EST

I hate when I miss the blue editions, but know what’s still sitting in my freezer? Blue Funky Fries. I’m pretty sure they killed those off real quick — this bag has got to be almost two-years-old now. I should post it up sometime.

Ghosted by Matt @ 02/04/2004 12:10 PM EST

Dude, I would kill for the mp3 of the Kids Bop version of "Bring Me To Life." Something great about preteens singing "Save me from the nothing I’ve become."

Ghosted by TEd @ 02/04/2004 12:16 PM EST

Those Kids Bop CD’s worry me for some strange reason. I just wonder if they remove certain words, or if they are meant to be taken into a different context when the kids sing it, versus the adult version of the songs. Heck I don’t know why it bothers me so much, I grew up listening to Van Halen, Kiss, Motley Crue, and alot of other bands that had the most raunchiest lyrics, and me being 6 or 7 being totally oblivious to what some of the meanings of the songs actually meant.

Ghosted by Justus Cade @ 02/04/2004 12:21 PM EST

Hi Matt, thank god you’re on the side of He-Man. I’m lighting a candle at church in your name.

Ghosted by Joe @ 02/04/2004 12:33 PM EST

I made my own spongebob costume for last years high school costume contest and WON, and got to sing the theme song, I was briefly estatic before kids started calling me spongebob and i was forced to sing the song at ever school event, Xmas, Idol, Prom, Graduation, and then my mom thought I loved it and got me all the stuff, I love the show but am now suffering from SPSB overkill, still gotta love that Squidward

Ghosted by Brrent @ 02/04/2004 12:40 PM EST

Oh yeah, I don’t want to be a dick, but it’s been like 34 days Matt, it’s 2004

Ghosted by Brrent @ 02/04/2004 1:08 AM EST

There’s no Spongebobs in that cereal!
The blue Spongebob mac-n-cheese has the funkiest, most disgusting smell on the planet, but if you have to babysit it’s a get out of jail free card.
I don’t know if anybody around here watched HBO’s show Carnivale but I was a big fan, especially of Clancy Brown’s performance as the demonic priest. My enjoyment was greatly enhanced by the fact that everytime he opened his mouth I pictured him saying "Me money! Me precious, precious money!"

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/04/2004 1:24 AM EST

Fixed , sorry for the tough love, I just enjoy pointing out the small mistakes of others and pretending I spell perfectly.

Ghosted by Brrent @ 02/04/2004 1:31 AM EST

those yellow & brown spongebob marshmallows are so cute! mmmmm. mac and cheese….

Ghosted by Rachel Cakes @ 02/04/2004 1:31 AM EST

Brrent: you could have at least waited till morning so I wouldn’t have to go to sleep having bad dreams.

Ghosted by Matt @ 02/04/2004 1:32 AM EST

Who are you kidding?? you’ll be up for hours anyways, and I’m slowly but surely making my way through the old articles, "you’re site is great" but still not enough tigers

Ghosted by Brrent @ 02/04/2004 1:35 AM EST

i tried the chocolate funky fries when they first came out….BAD CHOICE!! Worst thing I’ve ever consumed in my life…just thinking about them scares me, and the stores have like 15 freezers full of just them. never any missing but they are always there.

I was going to say something else but i forgot. @_@

Ghosted by heeloyd @ 02/04/2004 1:40 AM EST

squee- I was a big fan of the Carnivale, especially of the deliciousness know as Clancy Brown.

This whole Kidz Bop thing reminds me of when they sang on the Mickey Mouse Club and they had to change the words. A line from Salt n Pepa- "I think I wanna have your baby" becomes "I wanna be your baby"

Ghosted by allicat @ 02/04/2004 1:43 AM EST

wow. you go to bed late, matt.

Ghosted by Rachel Cakes @ 02/04/2004 1:44 AM EST

You know what they don’t make of spongebob and it’s so obivous spongebob sponge cake!

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 02/04/2004 1:44 AM EST

hey this isnt about the spongebob article,i just wanted to say that it kix ass that you posted a link to that he-man petition,i had already sighned it about a week ago but ive been trying to get everyone i know to do it.

Ghosted by meef @ 02/04/2004 1:51 AM EST

Spongebob…ah, Spongebob. What is there to say that hasn’t already been said?

And I hope Matt’s initials are "M.A.C." Just because.

Ghosted by Omni @ 02/04/2004 1:57 AM EST

SPongeBobs into everything. I mean everything. Bandaids, bubble bath, food, clothing, underwear, (Even thongs-for 12 yr olds…scary), I happen to have the interactive talking spongebob where if you squeeze him he says things and his eyes bug out. if you whip him around (as I found out) he tells you to stop. Its so Cool.
On a side note, i cant make KD either. It always comes out as milky cheese water and chewy noodles. Matt is officially my hero for admitting his lack of KD skills first! Also, The Article was cool.

Ghosted by Allie @ 02/04/2004 2:10 AM EST

I work at Schnucks(grocery store) so I see a no end to the damn sponge bob products, thanks.

Ghosted by OtherMatt @ 02/04/2004 2:13 AM EST

Ah… I love Kraft Mac n Cheese. I’m sooo making it for lunch tomorrow.

Ghosted by marioshoku @ 02/04/2004 2:17 AM EST

Ah, Spongebob. I’ve never seen such a weird phenominon. I don’t mean the product tie-ins, I just mean the fact that people either dig him or despise him. There’s no middle-ground here.

Personally, my favorite episode is the one where Barnacle Boy became a villain and Spongebob and friends had to become a Justice League-type superhero team. Just thinking of the live action commissioner and his maniacal laughing fit has me giggling.

o/~ F is for fire, burning down the whole town! U is for uranium… BOMBS! N is for no survivors… o/~

Ghosted by Gavok @ 02/04/2004 2:43 AM EST

Dylan had better pick Kelly, because Brenda is off in Paris pretending to be French, smoking cigarettes and eating brains.

Ghosted by Kristal @ 02/04/2004 3:06 AM EST

Hi Matt, I’m from He-man.org. Been reading the site for years, but wanted to thank you for the support of the petition. Oh, and the years and years of entertainment:)

Ghosted by TrickJaw @ 02/04/2004 3:33 AM EST

How about the Spongebob video games?
My son got the Gameboy Advance one for Christmas and I don’t think he’s stopped playing it yet.. just plugs it in when it needs re-charging.(The Gameboy not the cartridge) But he keeps right on playing

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 02/04/2004 4:18 AM EST

I’m glad to see that Gary got included in the Mac and Cheese. I mean, really, how many snails do you know that can tie their own shoes? I think he deserves a little bit of recognition for that.

Ghosted by Ian @ 02/04/2004 4:39 AM EST

Oh man you guys in the states are so lucky, I remember things like that spongebob mac and cheese being super mario mac and cheese, the reason why I compare the two is because its such a good way to eat mac! I mean the regular stuff isnt near as good trust me. And for some reason its harder to find that ’shapely’ macaroni at any safeway up here… hm hm hm.

Your site is amazing, been a longtime watcher for a while now, keep up the good work we appreciate it!

Ghosted by Duncan @ 02/04/2004 4:57 AM EST

Aye, I saw the Battle for Bikini Bottom for X-Box..thought about getting it for my son, and for myself possibly.

Ghosted by Justus Cade @ 02/04/2004 5:00 AM EST

My roommate and I get Spongebob macaroni and cheese at one of those wholesale food club store things… something like 20 boxes for $.008.

We like chewing on Spongebob. It’s symbollic of our desire to rend him asunder and cannibalize on his plainly tasty visage.

Great site. *tips hat*

Ghosted by grep @ 02/04/2004 6:40 AM EST

Matt, how can you be bad at making Mac n Cheese? You want a tip? I find melting the butter in a glass measuring cup ( bigger the better), then pouring the milk into the measuring cup, then adding the cheese powder. Mix for a few seconds and then pour it over the noodles or whatever the pasta is shapped like. And presto.

That should get your better results than what you have before..

Ghosted by Punisher Bass @ 02/04/2004 7:41 AM EST

My first experience with Spongebob was a Comcast Cable kiosk that was outside of my work. They had a couple of TV’s and the internet (very convenient for me) always on and showing various shows. The people who worked there gave me an extra remote because the mall was always dead. One day I flipped to Spongebob and decided to check it out. It was the episode where they went to the beach. I kept thinking, "Hey! Aren’t they underwater?" And sure enough, they were under water and had found some sort of heavier water that was at "the beach." very stange. A friend assured me that this kind of thing happens all of the time on the show. That’s pretty cool.

Ghosted by Stilewalker @ 02/04/2004 8:07 AM EST

That was so much Spongebob. I think something popped in the back of my brain…. from all the yellow.

Ghosted by I forget @ 02/04/2004 8:08 AM EST

Yarrr. I’m not a big fan of spongebob. My heart beats to only one Nicktoon: Ren and Stimpy. I had so much of their merchandise: games, clothing, I even collected the comic book. Sad times we live in. Well, I’m off to put a .50 caliber hollowpoint round in my head

Ghosted by SHANE! @ 02/04/2004 8:39 AM EST

I really hope that yellow thing resembling a sponge inside that..plastic thing resembling Spongebob’s arms and legs is actually a real usable sponge.

My mom wants one.

The mac and cheese is really good..I want the blue version now though.

Ghosted by Hollow @ 02/04/2004 8:42 AM EST

squee and allicat – I watched Carnivale, too. (It was actually pretty hard, finding someone else IRL who watched regularly.) It was wierd, hearing Mr. Krab’s voice coming out of a demonic priest. I keep expecting to see Mr. Krabs grab Mrs. Puff, say, "We’ve come a long way, sister!" and then kiss her. Eewwww…

heeloyd, we got some of those chocolate fries for the younguns, too. Disgusting. Who ever thought chocolate and potato would be a great taste sensation?

Spongebob, spongebob, where to begin. We sing that F.U.N. song all the time. I like the ones w/ Squilliam b/c it’s fun to see Squidward squirm.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 02/04/2004 8:52 AM EST

Matt, they did get rid of the funky fries… but not too long ago. I got them last november on a yearly trip with my friends. We all rent this big cabin, and get really drunk for a whole weekend. Anyway, I bought those things, and everyone was like… oh man your poop is going to be blue. But the fries were sooo good, they were crispy right out of the over, which is weird since usually fries are only crispy out of a deep fryer.

And my friends were right… the next morning… blue poop.

And you will receive a photo of my ass with M.C. X.E. on it by tomorrow.

Ghosted by chad @ 02/04/2004 9:33 AM EST

I love these kinds of articles. I’ll love it even more in a year or two when all this stuff is long gone. (I still check the old Hulk promo articles once in a while…love this fad crap)

Ghosted by Sugarbear @ 02/04/2004 9:53 AM EST

OK, is it just me, or have you noticed that whenever they have fruit snacks, the reds, purples, greens, oranges and what have you, are always semi-translucent. But the yellows are always opaque! The Spongebob snacks are no exception! What is up with that? Is there a translucent yellow # 4 shortage? Or did they do a marketing study that found out kids prefer milkier looking fruit snacks, or what??

Ghosted by B-Dawg @ 02/04/2004 10:12 AM EST

Well, damn. I was hoping you’d include the Spongebob strawberry-banana Leggo waffles I’ve been seeing at the grocery store. I’m really curious about them, but I haven’t dared to try ‘em out yet…

Ghosted by Samila @ 02/04/2004 10:51 AM EST

Looking at the Spongebob Mac & Cheese shapes… doesn’t the Patrick Starfish shape look like tiny Ku Klux Klan member outlines. Yet reformed ones, now able to come together with the others in the Bikini Bottom bath of cheese.
Yes, folks can learn a life lesson in thier bowl. A lesson of acceptance and how even noodle racists can find redemption.

Ah, the power of cheese.

Ghosted by Aconite @ 02/04/2004 11:12 AM EST

Darn, I wish my store still sold the special edition sponge-bob Kraft mac and cheese with – NO LIE – sea green cheese. The kids loved it, especially since they could gross me out at the same time. Looked awful. Tasted OK.
Oh, all the wonders of blue food dye.

Ghosted by MamaLou @ 02/04/2004 11:20 AM EST

"Winner takes all/the thrill of just one kill/the last one to fall/will never sacrifice their will…" That should have been the Halftime show at the Super Bowl.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 02/04/2004 12:11 PM EST

Oh, you missed the best of all, when last year Kraft released a SBSP Mac N Cheeze with blue colored cheeze. It tasted like chrome. (Don’t ask me how I know that) One short email later they returned my moneys. The end.

Ghosted by Blue @ 02/04/2004 12:21 PM EST

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