X-Entertainment | New Article: Shitty Board Games!

New Article: Shitty Board Games!

Today's article focuses in on five of the worst board games I've ever owned, a list that will shock and appall you to no end. It's a good mix of old favorites and old hated pieces of crap. We've got games based on He-Man and M.U.S.C.L.E., Tetris, 90210 and the game that broke the mold: "Full House." Are you ready to party? On another topic, I changed the main page a bit. Got rid of the title graphics on the article list, swapping 'em out for text. Probably won't kill your eyes as much anymore.

Posted by Matt on 01/22/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 295 comments

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First Post! Woo! I hate myself for doing that.

Everyone go out and get a pet fish. And keep it responsibly.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/22/2004 4:02 PM

Holy Shit! I think Im first!

Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 4:02 PM

Damn you Sean!!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 4:03 PM

coot alot of posts

i wanna ask if anyone rembers a juice form the ealry 90s. They were uslay fruit flavors and came in plastic bottles.I think they were called mongos?
eh i was just wondering if anyone rember them.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 4:05 PM

Sorry Dude. I had just wrapped up a long diatribe on the Parrot Fish section, and lo and behold, this had changed!

By the way Matt, I forgot to mention–you may have sinned, but we forgive you. Even though apparently some of us are damned.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/22/2004 4:07 PM

Joey was not a Tanner by blood. He was Danny’s best friend. I mean, hello? They made him sleep on a windowsill or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Bestpersonever @ 01/22/2004 4:08 PM

Jared: Squeeze-Its. Coming soon to a website near you.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/22/2004 4:08 PM

I didn’t know they had a Full House board game!

Chestnuts roasted by dan^ @ 01/22/2004 4:09 PM

Those Olsen Twins have come a long
way. Wonder how long before they’re Heffners girlfriends.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 01/22/2004 4:18 PM

ahh coool i could have swore they were like mongo with a sprial on the front.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 4:19 PM

Speaking of the Huxtables, does anyone remember the episode of "Growing Pains" when Ben asks a girl to go on a date to a taping of "The Cosby Show?" It was strange enough to mention another network’s top show, but the Seavers were supposed to live on Long Island and the Huxtables were supposed to live in Brooklyn, but Pains was shot in Burbank while Cosby shot in New York. This reminds me of how I had to
explain to another kid in elementary why they only taped the opening of "Punky Brewster" in Chicago and he complained that it was false advertising.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/22/2004 4:25 PM

"Oh wait, was Joey by blood? One of them wasn’t by blood. Who on "Full House" wasn’t by blood?"

Okay, I hate that I know this, but…. The only ones who were blood were Danny, Stephanie, DJ and Michelle. Uncle Jesse was related by marriage, Danny married his sister. Joey is in no way related, he is just Danny and Jesse’s childhood friend.

Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 4:28 PM

Great article, but boo to you Matt. The tetris game does not deserve to be lower then the Full House one. As an owner of the Tetris board game (wonder how many people can say that). It is worth at least a D+ just as a topic of conversation alone.

Chestnuts roasted by Doogles @ 01/22/2004 4:30 PM

first of all they werent the huxtables they wre the tanners. second becky wasnt by blood she was by marage.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 4:30 PM

The juice you’re thinking of were called "Mondos"

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/22/2004 4:32 PM

MONDOS thats it

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 4:34 PM

I actually own and have played the M.U.S.C.L.E. board game. It is terrible indeed. The figures are definitly the coolest part.

Chestnuts roasted by Scary Terry @ 01/22/2004 4:34 PM

Dave Coulier is the bigest douchebag ever. I hate that son of a biatch. Most unfunny hack that has ever been on TV. Even worse than Bob Faggat.

Chestnuts roasted by Dave Coulier Hater @ 01/22/2004 4:41 PM

Yeoowch! You almost blinded me on that one. My sister-in-law’s brother collects many types of games, and subsequently tries to cheat at them, but I bet he’d like Tetris or M.U.S.C.L.E. For laughs, I’d give him Full House and watch his head implode.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2004 4:42 PM

I was one of those sad recipients of the Tetris board game, which ended up gathering dust in my parent’s attic for years (most likely unplayed) until I stumbled across it a few years ago while searching for Commercial Crazies (now that was a fun game). I couldn’t believe that not only was a Tetris board game made but that someone actually bought it for me. I couldn’t figure out what you were supposed to do either, but I forced my wife to play a round with me anyway. It left us both thoroughly confused along with the overwhelming urge to hum Tetris music all day. Stupid game.

Chestnuts roasted by cravipat @ 01/22/2004 4:44 PM

The 80s sure had some terrible board games… like "Don’t Play with Strangers" (teaches kids about safety and not talking to strangers– and it was endorsed by Joan FREAKIN’ Lundin), "The People’s Court" (that’s just dumb), and the "Ungame" (some hippie-dippie feel good game designed to pry into the psyche of kids). Remember this: if the game has an imprimatur from some group of shrinks or some education association on it, skip this game and get your kid something violent instead, like a GIJoe or a Chucky doll ("Wanna play???").

Chestnuts roasted by Carol the Theologian @ 01/22/2004 5:24 PM

We had a Von Erichs wrestling game we could never figure out. Now they’re mosly dead.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2004 5:28 PM

We had a Von Erichs wrestling game we could never figure out. Now they’re mosly dead.

I must hear more about this game!

Chestnuts roasted by Phil the Scumdog @ 01/22/2004 5:47 PM

One of my friends had that Von Erichs game also, along with a Wrestlemania VCR game. We never figured either of them out. I’ve been watching a lot of Full House reruns lately too, and one thing that has really been bugging me is, by the later years of the show Uncle Jesse has pretty much taken over the "dad" role from the true star Danny. He has his own kids by then but he still manages to butt in and give all the heartfelt "dad talks" to Danny’s kids as well. Danny should’ve kicked the bunch of moochers out of his house long ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pisano @ 01/22/2004 6:09 PM

Dave Coulier ruined Peter Venkman!

and on a sidenote, ever seen the Garfied or Snoopy board games, Matt? I remember the Snoopy one had these really nice little figures that made effective projectiles.

Chestnuts roasted by Lynx @ 01/22/2004 6:21 PM

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