X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.
« [Main Index] »

Hrm. Let’s give this a try…

Today's Stupid Poll: What's the worst movie you've ever seen in theaters? Though "Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie" seems oddly entertaining to me now, I forced my mother to bring me home no more than 20 minutes in. Other candidates include "Career Opportunities" and "Murder By The Numbers," but that last one wasn't by choice. Leave your picks in the comments...

Posted by Matt on 01/20/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 257 comments

Matt, how did you respond to my thread 3 minutes before I posted it? That’s fucking amazing. When I was a webmaster I couldn’t do that.

I did a page search and nobody talked about No Holds Barred except for me… unless they spelled it wrong, but fuck that.

Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 01/22/2004 8:49 AM

I completely agree on that one — Ringu stuck with me a hundred times more than the Ring. The "money scene" (seeing crazy girl’s crazy face) was much better done in the original, too. Still, I did think "The Ring" was a much better ‘American’ horror movie than a lot of what we’ve been fed these past few years.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/22/2004 8:49 AM

Honorable Mentions:
Titanic–Overhyped, overrated piece of crap! Even though I haven’t seen it, Leo Decapitated probably showed better acting in Critters 3.
Last Action Hero–UGH! My dad took me and my brother to see this. I guess because my bro was a fan of the governor of California at the time…(I wanted to see Jurassic Park.)
Forget Paris–stupid chick flick my friend forced me to see with her.
And now…the award for the absolutely worst movie I have seen in theaters goes to…(the mere mention of the name is enough to spin the Earth from its axis.)

Three Words: Drop. Dead. Fred.

(Don’t say didn’t warn you.:))

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragon @ 01/22/2004 9:46 AM

Drop Dead Fred. Score — I saw that one too, and I don’t care what anyone says. At the time, I thought it was absolutely terrible — even with two of my faves females ever in it.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/22/2004 9:50 AM

SCHUMACHER!!
(THUNDERCLAP, HORSE WHINNIES)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2004 1:06 PM

Way of the Gun.

should have been called
Coca-Cola Presents some shitty movie because there were coke ads in EVERY SHOT.

worst movie ever.

I actually feel stupid for making fun of the guy with us who suggested Bring It On.

Chestnuts roasted by Selvig @ 01/22/2004 3:39 PM

I loved Way of the Gun.

Worst movie I ever saw in theaters was "The Lawnmower Man". I can’t believe Stephen King lent his name to that piece of doo-doo. It had absolutely nothing to do with the brilliant short story he wrote of the same name. The worst part is I had to pay two extra dollars to this kid who was a Senior because I was only 16 years old and the theater wouldn’t sell me a ticket for an R-Rated movie, so he said he’d go buy me the ticket if I gave him extra $. What a waste!

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 01/22/2004 5:37 PM

I’m going to be murdered for this, but I really didn’t like the whole "Lord of the Rings" saga. Don’t get me wrong, the movies were beautiful, but with a year between releases, I quickly forgot who most everyone was, and constantly had to lean over to whoever was next to me and say, a la Homer Simpson, "Who’s that guy? … What did that guy say when I said ‘who’s that guy?’" Truthfully, I only went to the first one because Enya had some music in it, and after that I was ready to leave. And the same goes for the new "Star Wars." Especially that second one, where the guy playing Anakin can’t act. The only saving grace to that mivie was that the writers realized people hated that damned Jar Jar Binks thing.

And I agree with Rob; if I’d thought 3 hours would be THAT FRIGGING LONG, I would never have had that much Pepsi in the first half hour of the movie. And in the subsequent 2 1/2 hours.

Chestnuts roasted by Skeen @ 01/22/2004 7:24 PM

I forgot about Small Soldiers and this one movie starring martial artist kangaroos. That one hurt.

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 01/22/2004 9:33 PM

Father Of The Bride 1 and 2 were shit festivals. I hate Steve Martin movies ever since he started making these crappy, whiner Dad movies.

Chestnuts roasted by Planet Garp @ 01/22/2004 9:54 PM

I dredged up a repressed memory today – I went to see the first Brendan Fraiser "The Mummy" in theaters. I went for Fraiser and the Indiana Jones concept, and while it wasn’t out-and-out hideous the way "Batman and Robin" was, I have no desire to see it again any time soon and avoided both the sequal and "The Scorpian King."

I was expecting a light, old-fasioned adventure and got the bloody (literally) Seven Plagues of Egypt. It’s probably barely a bucket of gore for most of you. However, for someone who gets queasy at a paper cut, it was just too much, Brendan Fraiser or no Brendan Fraiser.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 01/22/2004 11:07 PM

Hell, I somehow forgot about No holds Barred! Saw it at a drive-in close to home when I was in grade school. Being a huge wrestling fan, and now wrestler, I was stoked about it! Now I can see just how retarded it was! Hogan never did improve as an actor either.

I agree with the overhyped Titanic comment also! You KNEW what the outcome would be. I have yet to see it again and will die a happy man knowing I only had to see it once.

Chestnuts roasted by faroniousd @ 01/23/2004 1:37 AM

I’d have to say one that nobody seems to have hit yet. I went to see Starship Troopers in theatres and it was like having a white-hot poker shoved up my nose.

I love my sci-fi dearly. But that tremendous monument to badness had absoloutely no payoff. Most of the beginning on Earth. All the snobby jerks (or in some cases, jerkettes) everyone was supposed to believe were crush-worthy just developed a movie-long insult to the main characters’ feelings. Other than that, the action was rather predictable and bland.

Other bad movies I’ve seen: Nurse Betty, Congo, Titanic (the most recent DeCaprio version), and another movie where this guy is able to talk to his dad in the past over a short-wave transistor radio. I can’t remember the title but the whole thing would have been better if they had taken the premise farther.

Magic lighning bolts indeed. I’m happy to absorb camp or suspend belief for the sake of space adventure but I say "no, way!" to mixing hardboiled drama plots with fanciful magic plot devices.

That’s what daytime TV is for and I don’t watch that as a general rule.

Chestnuts roasted by Tonnica @ 01/23/2004 4:24 AM

Frequency.

Chestnuts roasted by D-d-dave-some @ 01/23/2004 4:39 AM

Titanic: Took my then-girlfriend Katrina there, she loved it, I loved it because she loved it and she loved that stupid Celine Dion song so I loved that stupid Celine Dion song because she loved that Celine Dion song. ALL THAT CRAP AND I STILL DIDN’T GET LAID!

Batman and Robin: There are a thousand things I could say about this crapfest and most have been said already. I’ll just say it didn’t do anything to disprove the old joke of Bruce and Dick being gay in the ass with each other. Not even Ace and Gary were that homoerotic.

Battlefield Earth: Nuff said.

The Avengers: Ah, the movie that in one fell stroke destroyed Ralph Feinnes’ career. Ah, Ralph, The English Patient made you a star, Schindler’s List proved you were brilliant and then you did this. Putting a gun to your head would have been a subtler method of career suicide than agreeing to be in this one. Uma Thurman’s career and her freaky-ass feet never exactly made a full recovery either. Sean Connery remained unaffected because he was firmly entrenched in the "I’ll Do Anything For A Buck" phase of his career.

Armageddon: Ok, recap: An asteroid the size of Texas, you have about two weeks to save mankind. Why is it harder to train Astronauts to be Drillers than Drillers to be Astronauts? Furthermore, on an asteroid with its own gravitational pull and that would be a waste of a nuclear warhead to launch a missile at it, why dig only a mere 800 feet?

Yeah…that’s realistic.

The Hulk: I thought Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was overrated anyway, but by and large I thought Ang Lee was a good director. I should have seen the writing on the wall when I read about the ‘creative liberties’ he took with the source material. Huge, huge disappointment.

Terminator 3: Poses the question…."Does a great ending negate the crappiness of the rest of the movie?"

End of Days: Ugh. Just…ugh.

Godzilla: I was willing to forgive Emmerich and Devlin for Independence Day, and while that was a slap in the face, Godzilla was a kick in the nads. This I cannot forgive.

Young Einstein: In the summer of ’89, I was sneaking into this movie when I wasn’t sneaking into Batman (which I saw about 5 times). Yes, I was a retard but I had good reason–I had the hots for the chick who played Marie Curie. However it was very informative. I didn’t know Albert Einstein invented the atom bomb, the electric guitar, surfing, rock and roll, beer as we know it today and was a lanky Australian. That just like, blew my mind, man.

Still, the chick who played Marie Curie (I forget her name) was a hott-tay.

From Justin to Kelly: I like train wrecks, so I actually saw this one about a week after I saw The Hulk. It WORSE than I thought it would be. I’m glad they’re not in any hurry to strike while the iron is cold with the inevitable "From Ruben to Clay" sequel.

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 01/23/2004 4:42 AM

Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Syn. I made my parents take me and my brother to go see it because it was in 3-D. My eyes burned at the end of the movie, and it wasn’t from the glasses.

Chestnuts roasted by Captain Atari @ 01/23/2004 2:18 PM

Kev – That would be Odile Le Clezio. the hottie from Young Einstein. She really has not been in much since that movie. A pitty, really.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 01/23/2004 3:22 PM

Tonnica, Starship Troopers was on the other night on FX and I just couldn’t stop watching it. That has to be the ultimate "terrible movie, can’t believe I am watching it yet can’t stop" movie ever for me! Or Empire Records. It’s like they are so bad that the absurdity of it all really keeps my attention.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 01/23/2004 5:25 PM

I dont go to the movies too often so when I do, I usually know it’s going to be pretty good. But there were 2 I got sorta trapped into : "Mother" w/ Debbie Reynolds and "Batman & Robin". At least Mother was a free sneak preview, but still…what a waste. I went to batman and robin w/ my mom and little bro…I think they both fell asleep, and I was just stuck squirming in my seat.

Chestnuts roasted by !Cassie! @ 01/23/2004 5:27 PM

I was forced to sit through Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio. The horrible dubbing was gut wrenching. They used the most stereotypical Italian accents ever heard. There was just no way I could suspend disbelief to accept a grown man with a five o’clock shadow playing a little wooden boy. Worst movie EVER!

Chestnuts roasted by ziffo @ 01/23/2004 6:55 PM

DID ANYONE MENTION THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER MOVIES, ALL THREE OF THEM?????
(although I never personally saw them them in theatre).

Chestnuts roasted by two_peep_army @ 01/23/2004 7:55 PM

I’ve never wanted to walk out of a movie, but I have to say the three movies that seemed to be pretty bad in my book are the following.

1. Ace Ventura When Nature Calls (This movie left me wanting my money back and I didn’t even pay to see it in the theatre.)

2. Tomb Raider (This movie couldn’t be saved, no matter how many times Angelina Jolie bounced her titties on screen.)

3. Wild Wild West (Although I did manage to find it watchable on TV.)

Chestnuts roasted by Peckerwood in da hood! @ 01/23/2004 9:16 PM

I saw warriors of virtue. God that movie’s stupid.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 01/23/2004 10:44 PM

Oh, for the love of Edison, Warriors of Virtue was Suck Beyond Suck, even if I did get a pack of trading cards when I went to see it. The only Virtue I learned is that if some girls receive a WonderBra halfway through a film, they will turn evil. Them Kangaroos were hit with a Fugly tree.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/24/2004 4:48 PM

Inspector Gadget*
Resident Evil*
Lost in Space**
Great Expectations (the one with Gwyneth Paltrow and Deniro)**
Godzilla*
* Indicates movies I slept through.
** Indicates movies that I would have slept through, but the seats weren’t comfortable enough, so I walked out. These are the ONLY two films I have ever walked out of. They were that bad.

Chestnuts roasted by MyNameIsAlsoMatt @ 01/24/2004 5:52 PM

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 20th, 2004 at 8:29 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.