X-Entertainment | Hrm. Let’s give this a try…

Hrm. Let’s give this a try…

Today's Stupid Poll: What's the worst movie you've ever seen in theaters? Though "Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie" seems oddly entertaining to me now, I forced my mother to bring me home no more than 20 minutes in. Other candidates include "Career Opportunities" and "Murder By The Numbers," but that last one wasn't by choice. Leave your picks in the comments...

Posted by Matt on 01/20/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 257 comments

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Gigli, or Star Wars: Episode 1.
(Woo, first comment!!)

Chestnuts roasted by Melisssa (9volt) @ 01/20/2004 8:33 AM

First post! Woooo….

Anyway, the worst movie I ever subjected myself too in the theater was "Master of Disguise" the horrible trainwreck of a Dana Carvey vechicle. I lost a bet and had to pay for my friends too. Not good times. Bad times.

Chestnuts roasted by princemackenzie @ 01/20/2004 8:35 AM

The worst movie I ever saw in the theatre was Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. I was staying with my grandparents in their rural Vermont town one summer, and that was the only movie playing at the local theatre. I BEGGED my grandmother to take me (she’s a minister by the way), and she did.

Even at the tender age of 12, I knew it sucked. My grandmother wasn’t pleased either.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 01/20/2004 8:51 AM

Hmm… "The Guyver" comes to mind as a horrible movie. Just plain bad, although it seems to have a following. I could probably think of worse if I gave it a lot of thought though.

I saw the movie "Say Anything" with Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci a few months back and it was just plain awful. Just awful. I’ve never walked out of a movie, but I’ve never been closer to just cutting my losses and leaving on that one. In hindsight, I should have b/c the end was not redeeming at all.

Chestnuts roasted by hammington @ 01/20/2004 8:52 AM

Hmm, worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater, eh?

Well, when I was 15, my mom dropped me and my date (how hot is that?) off to see "Tomcats." That really stupid "last one to get married gets money" flick with that actor from "Kangaroo Jack" in it (I have to leave for class soon or else I’d look up his name. On second thought, no I wouldn’t. Jerry O’Connell maybe? Meh, who cares.) But yeah, that movie was pretty friggin bad if I do say so myself.

Not to mention I made the two hour trip this past summer to see "The Hulk" at the really, really kick ass theater in Pittsburgh, PA. Big, BIG mistake. I’m sorry if anyone here actually liked it, but, in my opinion, it was just plain terrible. Put "Hulk" up against Marvel’s other movies like "X-Men," X2," "Spiderman," and "Daredevil" and you’ll see what I am talking about. One of the hands down worst moments in the movie was when Hulkie was fighting those terribly CGI animated dogs. CGI can do some amazing things (think Gollum) but why did those dogs just look so…terrible? The other worst scene was when the dude from "Sweet Home Alabama" got blown up and he froze on the screen in a homage to classic comic books. Good idea in theory, but look at the expression on his face. You can tell even he knows that part is miserable.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate Albright @ 01/20/2004 9:09 AM

Night at the Roxbury.

Spy Hard.

Spaced Invaders.

And I saw Spice World on opening night.

My local cheap-ass theater gets the worst of the worst.

Chestnuts roasted by gymrat @ 01/20/2004 9:10 AM

Worst movie ever seen in theatres is rare for me I take advice from people but probabally a really bad movie seen at home has to be Troll, a movie I recomend Matt reviews so I can hear his comments. Another movie has to be Pinochio’s revenge. Wierd assed shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan_Steele @ 01/20/2004 9:13 AM

there is one movie that ranks above all others in the sukiness department. "Sweet Home Alabama" I also saw "Hulk" "Ernest Scared Stupid" and "Jurrasic Park: The Lost World" a total of 8 times at our local drive in just for my best friend and I to torment the other people watching the movie, the theater acctually banned us until that movie was no longer being shown there.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 01/20/2004 9:39 AM

The worst movie I saw in theatres had to be "Bats". I don’t remember much of it anymore and I’m damn glad ’cause it was so bad. It wasn’t even the cheesy bad that makes it somewhat good. It was just plain terrible.

Chestnuts roasted by Aubrey @ 01/20/2004 9:49 AM

Without any doubt whatsoever, the "Planet of the Apes" remake. Most movies I respectfully stayed for the credits. This one, I stormed off. They completely destroyed the meaning of the story. What made me doubly angry was critics touting its new "surprise ending;" they didn’t realize that the ending was lifted directly from the pages of the original novel–yet the filmmakers appeared to claim this as their own.

IMHO, the original film is one of the only films that I have seen that actually surpasses the book in theme and meaning, as well as enjoyability.

I’ve seen a few other bad flicks in the theatre, but PotA remake takes the cake.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 01/20/2004 9:56 AM

I have never told another human soul about this.
Back in 2000, my girlfriend went out of town for an entire month. A month may not seem long to you, but when you’re 18 and foolishly, giddily in the hold of limerence, it’s a goddamned eternity.
I was feelin’ pretty down, so I figured I’d make some dramatic gesture like writing a dark poem and reading it at a coffee shop while wearing a beret, or maybe baking a cake and covering it with black frosting to match my tormented heart, but I was too lazy. So what I did was I went down to the local run-down dollar fifty cinema and watched the movie with the worst reviews I could find – and that movie was Battlefield Earth.
I sat my gloomy ass down into that sticky seat and sat through something like ten hours of pure honey for my disgruntled soul. I will never forget how my grief drained away when Travolta gleefully snarled these beautiful words: "A man-animal getting leverage over a PSYCHLO?! THAT’ll be the day!!!"
Leverage.

Chestnuts roasted by Master H @ 01/20/2004 10:01 AM

Return to Oz – mainly because i can remember being terrified of the ‘Rock King’ who stole the ruby slippers. The fact i was in a cinema watching this drivel was bad. Worse still, i’m forever scared with the memory of a claymation boulder who had penchant for invading my nightmares and wearing womens clothing.

Chestnuts roasted by Toeknee @ 01/20/2004 10:02 AM

Worst…movie…ever…Pauly Shore’s Jury Duty. Fucking horrible. Only movie I have ever walked out of. I swore to never EVER see a Pauly Shore movie again. Not in theaters, not in my living room, not anywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by eyeless @ 01/20/2004 10:21 AM

When I was 9 or so, my parents took me to see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092494/">Batteries Not Included. I don’t remember much of it, though I remember strongly disliking it. I think maybe my brain has intentionally blocked out the details of this experience for my own good. I wouldn’t call it a traumatic experience, but I remember wanting to leave the theater pretty badly. If memory serves, we stayed for the whole thing. Maybe I’d like it more if I saw it today, 17 years after my initial viewing, but really, I just don’t care enough to rent it.

Chestnuts roasted by Scott M. @ 01/20/2004 10:30 AM

100% the WORST movie I have ever seen in a theater had to be The Blair Witch Project. I started out beleaving all the hype. I saw the Sci Fi Mocumentry . I surfed the website. I thought it would be a cool horror flick with a new directorial direction.

After two LONG hours the scarriest part of the movie was the chick taking a piss!

They didn’t even show the @##%$@! witch!

I want my $5 back!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr Mango @ 01/20/2004 10:45 AM

Tarzan and the Lost City (1998)

Absolutely the worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theatre.

Chestnuts roasted by Rybo Flavin @ 01/20/2004 11:12 AM

I admit it. I saw "The Haunted Mansion." Aaaaargh. The special effects were very pretty (the skeletons in the mausoleum were animated even better than the ones in Pirates) but they couldn’t make up for the utter shit that everything else about the movie produced.

Chestnuts roasted by Lion @ 01/20/2004 11:31 AM

The worst movie I’ve ever seen in theares was Bridget Jones’ Diary. I don’t know why people thought that this movie was funny, maybe I’m just stupid or something. I couldn’t follow the story or anything.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 01/20/2004 11:42 AM

Here’s my top two:

1. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Argh. Worst. Movie. Ever. It hurt my soul.

2. The Medallion. I figured "Hey, Jackie Chan movie. Can’t be THAT bad." Oh man, was I wrong. Supposedly the most expensive Hong Kong movie ever made, or something like that. I think the expense all went to refunding people’s ticket money.

Chestnuts roasted by Shawn @ 01/20/2004 11:42 AM

The only movie I’ve ever walked out on was What’s The Worst That Could Happen, with Danny Devito and Martin Lawrence. As it turns out, that movie is the worst that could happen.

And Say Anything was a wonderful movie. So was Return to Oz, in fact I’m sort of surprised that hasn’t been reviewed here yet.

Chestnuts roasted by i was a lion @ 01/20/2004 11:54 AM

Damn, I love Batteries Not Included. Then again, I love most movies from that time (yes, even Ghoulies). And did somebody say Return to Oz? For some reason that movie never scared me, I loved every minute of it.

As for my pick, it would probably go to something much more recent since I hold on to the other stuff like Linus’ security blanket. Let’s see… maybe The Ring? Yeah, what the hell was all the fuss about? The original is better.

There, that should press some buttons.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (#2?) @ 01/20/2004 11:57 AM

Quick list off the top of my big ol’ noggin:
Pearl Harbor: you could have projected the movie on that one girl’s forehead.
Star Wars Ep. II: barely advances the story, but Warlord Draco from Xena was in it, and has the longest explanation of Blue Balls I ever heard in it.
Hulk: should have been great, gave us a horrible version of Absorbing Man, and of course Hulk Dogs.
Worst movie I have on video: Blair Witch, bottom line, the students got what they deserved, spirit or no spirit. I would give it a good MSTing if it wasn’t filmed in QueasyVision(tm). blech.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/20/2004 12:01 PM

the original was better? Matt #2… you are very wrong. the original was terrible… when people die, the screen goes black and white… that’s not scary. in the english version, when people died, it was much better. The "scene" is a little bit better in the original, but other then that, the english version blew the original away in terms of scary factor.

Worst movie I ever saw in a theater… and also the worst movie I’ve ever seen: Nurse Betty…

Nurse Betty is the worst movie ever made. hands down. it was terrible. it was the closest I was to walking out of a movie.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/20/2004 12:14 PM

Cool World

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 01/20/2004 12:25 PM

Worst.Movie.Ever:

Cat in the Hat. It was like getting kicked in the nuts for the longest 90 minutes of life.

Chestnuts roasted by Bob @ 01/20/2004 12:26 PM

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