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01/20/2004: Hrm. Let’s give this a try…

Today’s Stupid Poll: What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen in theaters? Though “Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie” seems oddly entertaining to me now, I forced my mother to bring me home no more than 20 minutes in. Other candidates include “Career Opportunities” and “Murder By The Numbers,” but that last one wasn’t by choice. Leave your picks in the comments…

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Discussion Thread: 257 comments

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No movie can ever match the horror of Slap Shot II, even if it did star Gary Busey.

Ghosted by derpigg @ 02/02/2004 11:55 PM EST

I just thought of another one:

SIMON BIRCH

I had to take my cousin to see this one. I laughed so hard when the chick died from being beaned by a baseball that I allmost got us kicked out.

Ghosted by derpigg @ 02/03/2004 12:09 PM EST

The worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters would have to be…that fucked up piece of shit that had those Rugrats and the Wild Thornberrys. Going to see that movie with my two 5 year old cousins was the worst experience in my life. There were these two really hot chicks standing in line next to me when I ordered our tickets. If that wasnt bad enough, I fell asleep right in the middle of one song (yes, it was a musical) and woke up to a 5 year old laughing hysterically and shoving a lollipop in my ear. After that I held the two kids by the collars and dragged them out into the parking lot and forced my mom to come pick us up. The bottom line is, the fuckin movie sucked and so does my life and family.

Ghosted by grim reaper @ 03/02/2004 3:41 PM EST

Worst Movies I’ve seen on the big screen?

Sorry, I had to list ten! I couldn’t break down the list that far.

1. Marci X – what the? Lisa Kudrow rapping on stage? I’d rather scalp myself then sit through this again.

2. The Insider – F**k the critics – this movie was the most tedious, ulcer-inducing piece of celluloid I’ve ever seen. Russell Crowe succeeds at boring us to death with his middle-aged fat ass overweight caricature. To be watched after swallowing poison, to speed the process.

3. Dumb & Dumberer – Nasty. My God, that was a piece of crap! Excuse me whilst I bang my head against the side of a bus twelve times now.

4. Velvet Goldmine – Whoa man, it’s the underworld of glam music. How cool.. let’s do drugs, let’s get with each other & then fool around with people of the same sex, let’s party all night, let’s jerk off to revolting alice cooper/david bowie lookalike popstar clippings, on second thoughts, let’s forget about a plot, let’s get Toni Collette to grow her underarm hair for the role! On second though, let’s slowly gouge out the innards of our wrists with a plastic knife. It’s less painful and more meaningful than this drivel.

5. Fear dot com – This website can kill people, y’know dude. It’s up to has-been Stephen Dorff to save the day. Leave your brain at the door and any expectations of this being an actual movie. It’s a lamb turd. Terrible.

6. Leonard Part 6 – Ergh. And I used to think Ghost Dad was Bill Cosby’s worst movie.

7. Look Who’s Talking Too – Is that a fetus inside a uterus talking about choking on placenta? My god it is! Something else in this movie is scarier than Kirstie Alley after all.

8. Rollerball (remake) – Chris Klein, you can’t act. Everyone else involved – you just worked on a shitty movie. You stupid dicks are never gonna live this down.

9. The Wizard- My God. An extended Nintendo commercial about kids who like, yep, Nintendo, running a long long way away for a yep, Nintendo contest. If this was real life – these pre-teen kids would have been molested and left for dead before getting out of their home towns. Memorable only for: the glove, Christian Slater and the mongy looking freak girl in the Nintendo contest.

10. The Real Cancun – Spring Break was better portrayed in an episode of CSI: Miami. The first ever reality movie! Face reality, this is one crap movie!

Oh and one more, This is a video-movie I’ve seen which I *have* to mention:

1. Click the Calendar Girl Killer – Nasty direct-to-video horror flick from the early 90s. Sat on the shelf for several years – watch as the transvestite murderer stalks a group of ugly flat chested models at a closed ranch where they pose with chainsaws, bad wigs and fake tanned skin. It’s not scary, the killer is puny, the chicks are skanky and the leading man is a dickweed. The music is terrible.

Ghosted by Brando @ 06/14/2004 3:08 AM EDT

Dungeons and Dragons. The entire budget went into the final battle scene and they had to let an intern write the script.

Battlefield Earth is in second, but at least it was funny.

Ghosted by geek#1 @ 09/19/2004 9:19 PM EDT

I have 2, and they’re from the same continuity.

Spy Kids and Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams.
I had to watch Spy Kids in a crappy Episcopalian church daycare my dad forced me to go to where the best movie they had was “Space Jam”. That’s how crappy they were.
Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams I had to watch with my idiot snot nosed 6-year-old brother against my will by my dad.

Spy Kids 3D was better.

Ghosted by Geekor @ 11/11/2006 7:39 PM EST

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 20th, 2004 at 8:29 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.