I just thought of another one:

SIMON BIRCH

I had to take my cousin to see this one. I laughed so hard when the chick died from being beaned by a baseball that I allmost got us kicked out.

Chestnuts roasted by derpigg @ 02/03/2004 12:09 PM

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Worst Movies I’ve seen on the big screen?

Sorry, I had to list ten! I couldn’t break down the list that far.

1. Marci X – what the? Lisa Kudrow rapping on stage? I’d rather scalp myself then sit through this again.

2. The Insider – F**k the critics – this movie was the most tedious, ulcer-inducing piece of celluloid I’ve ever seen. Russell Crowe succeeds at boring us to death with his middle-aged fat ass overweight caricature. To be watched after swallowing poison, to speed the process.

3. Dumb & Dumberer – Nasty. My God, that was a piece of crap! Excuse me whilst I bang my head against the side of a bus twelve times now.

4. Velvet Goldmine – Whoa man, it’s the underworld of glam music. How cool.. let’s do drugs, let’s get with each other & then fool around with people of the same sex, let’s party all night, let’s jerk off to revolting alice cooper/david bowie lookalike popstar clippings, on second thoughts, let’s forget about a plot, let’s get Toni Collette to grow her underarm hair for the role! On second though, let’s slowly gouge out the innards of our wrists with a plastic knife. It’s less painful and more meaningful than this drivel.

5. Fear dot com – This website can kill people, y’know dude. It’s up to has-been Stephen Dorff to save the day. Leave your brain at the door and any expectations of this being an actual movie. It’s a lamb turd. Terrible.

6. Leonard Part 6 – Ergh. And I used to think Ghost Dad was Bill Cosby’s worst movie.

7. Look Who’s Talking Too – Is that a fetus inside a uterus talking about choking on placenta? My god it is! Something else in this movie is scarier than Kirstie Alley after all.

8. Rollerball (remake) – Chris Klein, you can’t act. Everyone else involved – you just worked on a shitty movie. You stupid dicks are never gonna live this down.

9. The Wizard- My God. An extended Nintendo commercial about kids who like, yep, Nintendo, running a long long way away for a yep, Nintendo contest. If this was real life – these pre-teen kids would have been molested and left for dead before getting out of their home towns. Memorable only for: the glove, Christian Slater and the mongy looking freak girl in the Nintendo contest.

10. The Real Cancun – Spring Break was better portrayed in an episode of CSI: Miami. The first ever reality movie! Face reality, this is one crap movie!

Oh and one more, This is a video-movie I’ve seen which I *have* to mention:

1. Click the Calendar Girl Killer – Nasty direct-to-video horror flick from the early 90s. Sat on the shelf for several years – watch as the transvestite murderer stalks a group of ugly flat chested models at a closed ranch where they pose with chainsaws, bad wigs and fake tanned skin. It’s not scary, the killer is puny, the chicks are skanky and the leading man is a dickweed. The music is terrible.

Chestnuts roasted by Brando @ 06/14/2004 3:08 AM

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I have 2, and they’re from the same continuity.

Spy Kids and Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams.
I had to watch Spy Kids in a crappy Episcopalian church daycare my dad forced me to go to where the best movie they had was “Space Jam”. That’s how crappy they were.
Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams I had to watch with my idiot snot nosed 6-year-old brother against my will by my dad.

Spy Kids 3D was better.

Chestnuts roasted by Geekor @ 11/11/2006 7:39 PM

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