1. Can you get away by referring to Kool-Aid as "juice?" I’ve always considered it sugar and water.
2. I wonder why Kool-Aid Man didn’t tip over and spill his guts out, ice and all, during any of these comic-book stories.
3. Someone earlier mentioned a Kool-Aid video. I don’t know if it was the same one, but I once viewed a Kool-Aid video. I don’t remember much about it, but I recall part of it was a documentary with interviews of people whose walls Kool-Aid Man had crashed through. My mind’s a little sketchy, it’s been 12 years since I last saw it.
4. The advertising and miscellaneous pages included with the comic are interesting. For example, you’ll notice that in Kool-Aid Man’s "Buckle Up America" promotion, 1) he is only wearing a shoulder belt, not a lap belt and 2) he is wearing the shoulder belt around his lap. This means that when that car he’s riding in crashes, he’ll probably slip out from under the belt and become a pile of sticky broken glass.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew T. @ 01/20/2004 5:20 PM

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Everybody’s seen the courtroom scene from Family Guy and talks about it all the time. Go on any message board and search 5 minutes; you’ll find something mentioning Family Guy. So the question is…where’s the Fox announcement on the new episodes?

I was lucky to be into Archie in the "really creative" years. You had the teenagers as time travelers, dungeon explorers, cross-country racers, interdimensional warpers, etc. All that and "Sassy Thrasher" too.

I didn’t care about Cheryl Blossom; I wanted Sassy back. Yes, she’s a hideously dated character, but so are a bunch of teens who still meet at soda shops and say "dig it."

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 01/20/2004 5:48 PM

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Hi. I’m a long time reader, first time poster.

Holy Christ! I thought I was the ONLY one on the face of the planet that owned a Kool-Aid Man comic book!

When I was, like, 8 or 9, my family was visiting relatives in Philadelphia, and we all went to the Philadelphia Zoo. And somewhere in the zoo I guess was this Kool-Aid promo stand. And Kool-Aid Man was there! He didn’t talk or anything. He just sort of posed for pictures and pantomimed like Mickey and Pluto do at Disney World.

Anyway, he was handing out all sorts of free crap (like the junk you would get out of the Wacky Warehouse). But one of the only things I kept was the comic book he handed out. I thought it was volume 1. If it isn’t, I thought it was volume 1 and the ONLY one. Plus the cover was a big crowd with Kool-Aid man in the front saying "It’s the grand opening of the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse. OH YEAH!!!!"

Comic 1 was about the Wacky Warehouse’s grand opening. Scorch steals a circuitboard that I guess controls important functions in the WareHouse and Kool-Aid Man and the kids have to get it back. (side note: "Surfin’ Berry Beach" bears a remarkable likeness to Wacky Wakiki Beach in the Wacky WareHouse. Yes, IN the Wacky Warehouse. I guess besided shipping out merchandise to kids, the building contained a beach, a race track, and an amusement park, from what I remember. Bodacious!)

Comic 2 was a dance contest plot. Like the surfing contest, Scorch sabatoges the kids by melting the floor wax so thier shoes stick and they can’t dance (Hm…I’m noticing a comic book pattern here =) Of course, Scorch goes and dances on hot wax no problem, and claims to be the winner. Kool-Aid Man in the last ditch effort challenges. Scorch melts Kool-Aid Man’s shoes to the floor, so Kool-Aid Man takes his shoes off and dances without them. Scorch starts frying the floor. The kids thing that Kool Aid Man’s hopping around are dance moves and declare him the winner. Shocking!

Sorry this was so long! It’s my first post and I had a lot to say =)

Kingklash, I saw that Family Guy. I almost died laughing when Kool-Aid Man busted though the wall! It was so far-fetched, unexpected, and made no sense! lol!

Matt, you rule! Keep up the good work! And if you want any scanned pages of my Kool-Aid man comic, I can send them to you (assuming I can find the comic in my basement. It should still be there…)

Chestnuts roasted by Dangerous Xarl @ 01/20/2004 5:57 PM

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"OH YEA"

Chestnuts roasted by Kool-Aid Man @ 01/20/2004 11:56 PM

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Damn. I wish I had Tang-suspenders. They’re everything I’m not. Orange, adjustable and a lot cooler than a belt. Oh Yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Iivuli @ 01/21/2004 10:34 AM

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KAM’s detective reasoning isn’t as farfetched as you think. I watch detective anime all the time, and trust me, some of KAM deductions made make him a super-genius.

And yes, there is something wrong w/ the holy liquid on children line. And biker shorts on a big red pitcher.

Chestnuts roasted by CardCaptor Loki @ 01/21/2004 12:03 PM

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I was just about to red the entire article, but I’ve suddenly been given a craving for Kool-Aid, so now I must go to the store and get some. Bye.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 01/21/2004 8:58 PM

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I loved Sharkleberry Fin….

All I know, is that with 2 cups of sugar it was hella sweet. I still remember how sweet it was….

I doubt anything else will ever come close.

Chestnuts roasted by Omni @ 01/22/2004 2:39 AM

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Wow! I love how I’ve been paid homage to. This is the pinnacle of my career! Thank you, X-Entertainment!

OH YEAH!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Kool-Aid Man @ 01/22/2004 4:51 PM

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I actually owned a Kool-Aid man comic many years ago but it was not the one you have on your page. It had something to do with Kool-Aid man opening up some kind of giant indoor amusement park. Scorch sneaks in disguised as a building inspector but Kool-Aid Man stops him with water balloons. Yes, water balloons! And in the end, he gets rid of Scorch by getting him in a hot-air balloon which rises higher into the air thanks to Scorch’s heat.

What a cornball way to stop a villain.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 01/23/2004 1:44 PM

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I have the first two Marvels, the Archie on here, and another Archie where Purplesaurus Rex is now a human-sized sax player, who convinces everyone to help him find his band’s instruments. Know how they go globetrotting? Remember that Star Trek episode where some alien library had doorways to different planets?

The Marvels were better. Forget Scorch, I wanted the Thristies back! Thirsties were space aliens that looked like little suns with tounges that make both KISS and George "The Animal" Steel jealous. They were that long, and that green. Their leader, "Big Thirstie", looked like one of those sun creatures from that one Super Friends episode, and had his underlings fly around in a giant Thirstie-shaped space station while he yelled at them from some undisclosed location via closed-circuit TV. Now *those* were enemies!

And each story (I think of the issue #2 stories brought one group back) had different kids, 2 boys, two girls, who somehow got to travel with KAM in his "Cool Copter" (just a regular blue helecopter) or hang out at his Baxter Building style HQ. (Although it was shaped like a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid, I assumed it was actually the brand’s corporate HQ.) Good stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 01/25/2004 8:15 PM

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Hey, anyone else notice that the Kool Aid Vault looks a bit like one of those Smurf houses without the mushroom cap?

Chestnuts roasted by Punk Rock Poet @ 01/29/2004 12:06 PM

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What people don’t seem to realize about Sharkleberry Fin is that the name is supposed to sound like Huckleberry Finn. One of the strangest tributes I’ve ever seen.

The Kool-Aid Man comic book was published by Marvel before Archie took it over. Examples from one of their issues are here
http://www.strangecult.com/pisser/koolaid.html
and, amazingly, someone’s highly elaborate— and tragic— fanfic based on the exact same issue (!) is here:
http://ohyeah.six-thousand-chicken-fa-ji-tas.org/links/death.htm

Chestnuts roasted by David Gerstein @ 02/21/2004 3:46 AM

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