X-Entertainment | New Article: “The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man!”



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New Article: “The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man!”

Uh oh. Some of you might've heard rumors about the Kool-Aid Man once having a comic book, but chances are good that you've never actually seen it. Now you can. Today's article is a 25+ page review of "The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man," issue number four, published by Marvel Comics in 1987. It's here that we'll meet "Scorch," Kool-Aid Man's enemy made entirely of fire, it's here that we'll play word search games with terms like "lemon lagoon" to find, and it's here that we'll see Kool-Aid Man enter (and WIN!) a surfing contest. Review also includes a special bonus tribute section to my favorite Kool-Aid pals, "Sharkleberry Fin" and "Purplesaurus Rex." That should kill you some time it should did so time kill, yes.

Posted by Matt on 01/19/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 105 comments

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Ooo! Comic books kick butt! Yay for Matt!

Can I brag about first post?

Chestnuts roasted by Spacey @ 01/19/2004 5:21 AM

Wow, I actually still have this exact comic book….Really, really freaky that there’s another one in existence. I remember really looking for that Hotfoot guy so i could win the contest

Chestnuts roasted by Ronalldo @ 01/19/2004 5:32 AM

You know and I know that the Kool-Aid man be perpetratin, ya heard? Since he came out, big sistas can’t be wearin red outfits without somebody yellin "Yo, Kool-Aid" and humiliatin them. And all the lil brothas and sistas in the projects be drinkin Kool-Aid growin up, cuz it so cheap, and you know this, playas. The only solace I can find in the situation is that po white trash be sufferin the same fate, fo real. Don’t act like it’s a rare sight to see dirty barefoot redneck children sporting mullets and three-day-old Kool-Aid mustaches, cuz it ain’t.

Soul, peace and hair grease.

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore "peanuthead" Long @ 01/19/2004 5:36 AM

Man, I loved this comic. Mine had an amazing pull out poster that adorned my walls for awhile. I should dig it up and put it on Ebay. I was an Archie comics junkie at the time, and because they put this out, everything looked like it was taking place in Riverdale. I was hoping Kool Aid Man would get it on with Ms. Grundy. Oh Yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by CHRIS @ 01/19/2004 8:45 AM

I remember this comic. I was a huge archie fan to, was never really into marvel comics. I remeber they used to do alot of adds for sunkist fruit snacks.
Fun article Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 01/19/2004 9:20 AM

ohh yeaaa!!! I remember these I"m prety positive I had all six, unfourthunatly they went the way of the garbage man.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 01/19/2004 9:27 AM

hey, haven’t gotten the chance to read the article yet, but i was wondering if anyone here remembers a kool-aid man video? i was obsessed with it as a kid, because it had a magic trick where you pick any square on the screen and move however many spaces they tell you to, then they get rid of a couple squares. they keep on doing that, until they’ve picked the exact same square you have left…anyone know what i’m talking about?

man, that jank was way cool.

Chestnuts roasted by amber @ 01/19/2004 9:46 AM

I own it! I bought it a while back to review, but never got around to doing it. Wonder where it went…

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/19/2004 9:47 AM

Matt,
You’ve done it again! You’ve dug up something that I had as a kid that I totally forgot about and loved at the time. I had a different issue. One had to do with Kool Aid man helping kids win a baseball game, another story took place in outer space and the other one in an amusement park. There wasn’t a scenario they hesitated to put Kool Aid Man in. Thanks for another trip down memory lane! OH YEAH (to quote the big red one himself)
Melissa Y.
(loyal reader and resident Tim Curry fan)

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y. @ 01/19/2004 10:20 AM

In the Surfin Contest one, anybody else think it was strange that the Kool-Aid man won a trophy he apparantly owned in the first place? I thought that was pretty messed up.

Chestnuts roasted by Stephanie @ 01/19/2004 10:34 AM

I was really hoping for an ad in the koolaid man comic with the koolaid mans house. I’ve been talking this up on the blog every opportunity I get, and i think I’m the only one who remembers it.

it was an ad for koolaid, but it showed a house that koolaid man lived in, with cool stuff for all the kids to do, and a room to keep the parents busy while we were having fun. I really thought it was a real place, and begging my grandmother to take me there all the time.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/19/2004 11:39 AM

Well, the story lines are horrid, but it’s way better than the old Dallas Cowboys comics my gramma would get us (the coach in the hat would pray then the Cowboys would win a game for God…).

Interesting note is that the art was done by Dan DeCarlo of Archie fame. That’s why every girl looks like Veronica. Hell, even Archie makes a cameo waving from a beach blanket!

Chestnuts roasted by Mark @ 01/19/2004 11:43 AM

Matt! You need to find the live action comercial that had Sortch in it! It had Scortch stealing the key to Kool-aid land so that The big K himself couldn’t go in and get the newsest flavor. It was part of a contest where if you found one of Scortches foot steps on the inside of your kool aid packs you could win a bike or a NES or some 80′s toy.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr Mango @ 01/19/2004 11:56 AM

Am I the only one who imagined the Kool Aid Man’s lines being read in the voice of Duffman?

"Oh YEAH!"

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/19/2004 12:24 PM

This one’s for Little Brother, whom I keep bugging to check this place out: Hey Kruel-Aid! (Brrrraaaaappp!) Oh, yeah? Give the Big Red an eyepatch, a wicked scar, tattoo, and a sour expression, and you have our take on the comic books: Kruel-Aid Man. Once, when a local store threw a promotion, there was some poor sap in a Kool-Aid costume. We were there with Ma doin the shopping thing. A couple of our younger cousins were getting books an other assorted crap from K-A Man and one saw me and bro. I made a motion of a quick jab, and the little guy gave the mook a light poke in the snoot. The teen in the suit played along at first, doing the stooge thing of blocking the wrong area and getting hit somewhere else. Then all the other anklebiters had to get in on the act, resulting in Kool-Aid Man getting pummeled by second-graders. The store security that was leading the beloved icon around started giving us teens the horse-eye as he noticed some of the kids talking to us right before the altercation, so I hustled Little Brother down a cereal aisle post-haste. Then we laughed ourselves silly.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/19/2004 12:30 PM

The way that Kool-Aid Man crashed into Scorch’s house naked like that, I think it shows Kool-Aid Man had the "hots" for Scorch. Good thing those kids were around to restrain Kool-Aid Man, otherwise this coul dhave been a VERY different comic.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 01/19/2004 12:49 PM

Christ, I never thought I’d see a Kool-Aid Man comic again. BTW, Matt, its not Marvel who published this, it was Archie Comics. Unless Marvel owns Archie comics, in which case, fuck me!

Anyway, I remember having one of these. I believe it was issue seven, though I can’t be sure. It took place at the Wacky Warehouse, the place where all the Kool-Aid point premiums were supposedly kept before they tried to hip it up with "the Wacky Warehouse Mall". Anybody else remember that fucking jingle?

Anyway, the story involved KAM inventing a new flavour, but having no idea what to call it. Before he or the kids can think of one, that flaming asshole Scorch steals the formula and leads everyone on a wild chase through the Wacky Warehouse. Now, for some reason, they end up time warping back to the stone age. It was probably explained, but I can’t be bothered to remember. Bottom line, its here that KAM and the kids meet Matt’s hero, Purplesaurus Rex. He helps them get their formula back, and everyone (P-Rex included) warps back to present day. However, Kool-Aid Man, vindictive prick that he is, sends Scorch to chill out for a few hours in the ice age. In the end, KAM names the new Kool-Aid Purplesaurus Rex, which P-Rex only approves of by yelling KAM’s catchphrase, "OH YEAH!"

Shit, I can’t believe I remembered all that. How about rewardeding me with a review of "Mac and Me"?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 01/19/2004 1:49 PM

This truly was A – A – Awe -Some. Just the thing I needed while trying to avoid doing any work, comic books with juice pitchers running around in biker shorts and such..

Chestnuts roasted by Iivuli @ 01/19/2004 1:49 PM

A – A – Awe -Some Article, Matt. Still not as crazy as the one commercial where the Kool-Aid man jumps into a swimming pool full of cement, though.

"You forgot the pitcher!"
"Oh No!"
(Rewind shot of the Kool-Aid man going thtough a wall. A man with a hot dog freaks out. Kool-Aid man comes back through the wall with the pitcher.)
"Oh yeah!"

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 01/19/2004 2:31 PM

Hey, Matt. I did’t realize he had a series. Ever get the "free" issue of Kool-Aid Man that predates this series? The one where you pay for shipping and 6 – 8 weeks later (more like 3 months) you get it in the mail. It had way better stories than this one. I wish I still had it.

Chestnuts roasted by lepnhoj @ 01/19/2004 2:34 PM

We used to collect the damn Kool-Aid points. My dad liked the KA lemonade so that’s where most of the points came from. We got this plastic pitcher set with glasses all shaped like the man hisself. Also got beach towels, "singlasses", and assorted shit. Thing I remember most was the damn Atari 2600 game. Cost like 2,000 points and sucked but it was FREE, man and free is good. Usually.

Mac and Me is on of the worst things ever committed to celluloid. It’s a 90 minute McDonalds commercial "Hey kids, buy our mad cow-burgers!" Mac isn’t nuthin except corporate greed disguised as a rubber puppet. If Matt reviews it he might fall over and then what site would we read?

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/19/2004 2:50 PM

I wonder what Kool-Aid flavor some of you are? I’m Kruel-Aid flavor #34X7: Grape-Pickle Embolism, the orignal black color with red bits.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/19/2004 2:51 PM

Years before I became a superherotype fangirl, I was an Archie fangirl. My original stack of comics was Archie, Alf, Thundercats, and Kool-Aid Man. I had this issue. Now I need to remember what I did with that stack of kiddie comics. I know I still had them before college. I wonder if they’re in my tower of comics I never liked enough to bag and box even when I was doing such things compulsively.

I also need to look for my Kool-Aid points. I had hundreds in a babyfood jar and can’t imagine them getting tossed. I don’t even know if they still do those.

Off topic–Valentines Peeps Vanilla Cream Hearts are really good. I like them better than the Chocobats. Though they’re not nearly as cute.

Chestnuts roasted by fangirlx @ 01/19/2004 2:54 PM

Marvel Comics published the first couple of issues then Archie picked up the license. As of this writing, there are 2 issues up on Ebay (the original Marvel one in which Kool Aid battles the Thirsties and another Archie one from 1989). Do I smell a sequel article about the sordid history of Kool Aid Man in comics? Probably not…

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 01/19/2004 3:05 PM

Ive decided to take down the site permenantly.

The Kool-Aid man made me do it!! OH YEAH!

Ps. isnt there a way to block out your name especially? heh

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/19/2004 3:46 PM

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