X-Entertainment | New Article: The GloFish Chronicles!

New Article: The GloFish Chronicles!

Today's article examines GloFish, the hot new pet fad that lets people buy "glowing" fish for just five bucks a piece. You've probably seen 'em mentioned in the news over the past few months, and the story was just too offbeat to pass up on. Do GloFish match the hype? Not really. I'm sure others will say differently, but my batch wasn't anywhere near as "otherworldly" as all of the reports and debates suggested. They're just fish that are kinda sorta shiny. Article provides close-up photos of the three I bought, plus an extra close-up photo of their disgusting fish food. Unless you've got a blacklight, they're nothing to go nuts over.

Posted by Matt on 01/12/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 112 comments

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Awesome, Matt. Don’t even have to clean its tank…

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 01/12/2004 1:08 AM

On second thought, I guess you do. These things aren’t quite as cool anymore. :/

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 01/12/2004 1:09 AM

Yes, finally another pet article.

Chestnuts roasted by Rood @ 01/12/2004 1:17 AM

I have to say, after almost 10 years in pet stores, those would be the first "craze" involving fish I’ve ever seen (fortunately, I’m no longer in that business).

Matt, if you want happier danios (including the third-man-out) get more of them, even just the regular zebra (or pearl, or leopard danios for that matter). They are always happier in bigger groups. And some plants (better than ornaments, but not as fun) would help too.

Of course, in my opinion, minnows (that’s what danios are, sorry) are just feeders. Even glowy ones.

And for people who like their animals genetically altered, there really are scientists out there working on things like cats that lack the gene to produce allergenic dander (there’s stuff for dogs, too, but I forget what). I can’t see anything going wrong when science meets commercial pet keeping. After all, pet keepers are always responsible (pirrhanas, snakeheads, walking catfish…).

I am, however, glad to have seen the glowfish in real, undoctored pictures, just to judge for myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/12/2004 1:43 AM

Glo fish, glo fish, glo fish your good night friends! Oh come on I couldn;t have been the only one thinking it…
We have a beta (siamese fishie thing) named Fred. He has lived here for close to 2 years. We did get another who was psychotic so we called him Norman Bates. He died after continually bashing his head into the side of his little fishie tank. I think Fred, in the tank next door, talked him into it like Hannibal Lecter did to that other guy in Silence of the Lambs.
You could always clean up something you have lying around that is plastic and put it into their tank instead of fake grass. Fred has glowing grass. It glows for maybe 5 minutes after the lights go off. He’s also got a dragon thing made out of ceramic or hell if I know. It cost a small fortune at Petco (where the pets go).

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/12/2004 2:07 AM

Whoa. o.o I just read about that on the Something Awful Forums! Talk about coincidence..Or maybe the fact that I might be some sort of psychic lady! Kick butt!

But yay! Articles about animals! I love em! Now I have to find out if they sell those fish in any pet shops in Alaska, Bah. Humbug.

Chestnuts roasted by Spacey @ 01/12/2004 2:25 AM

I’m willing to bet that one is preggers. You might have yourself a glo-fish moneymachine here.

If you can figure out how to get the sperm in that little tiny fish, that is.

Chestnuts roasted by stark23x @ 01/12/2004 2:43 AM

that first pic is cool, the one from the official site that is. i set it as my wallpaper >_<

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 01/12/2004 4:17 AM

i wanna be engineered so i can glow

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Zig @ 01/12/2004 4:51 AM

I never thought that anyone could write anything interesting never mind funny about fish – I am now thinking of getting a small fish tank!

Go Siamesie!

Chestnuts roasted by The Big G @ 01/12/2004 7:30 AM

My sister had some glo-fish about two months ago, I never got to see them in person but from what she told me they too were quite unimpressive.

Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/12/2004 8:54 AM

Ya know as an artist, over the years it seems that I use fish in my imagery often. There is something truely interesting about what they symbolize and just the pure asthetic quality of them too.

But I dont care for them as pets. They’re just kinda boring. NOW a glowing fish, thats pet worthy. I’ll give ‘em a few more years until all that gene tampering settles into place and they start glowing real good rather than just kinda being shiny.

Chestnuts roasted by Don't Touch, Willy. @ 01/12/2004 9:26 AM

Yes! I *LOVE* these animal articles. They are my favorite, along with the food reviews.

More about Danios:
Yes, they do like larger groups, they are a schooling fish, and are happiest in groups of 6 or more.

I know you have a bigger fish tank, and you may want to consider moving them in there, as they are VERY active fish, never stop moving, and they love to have room to roam. In smaller tanks they get stressed out.

Keep up the good work!!

Chestnuts roasted by B-dawg @ 01/12/2004 10:16 AM

They’ve already been moved to the bigger tank — though what I’d really like to do is get a small saltwater tank going, either for a mantis shrimp, cleaner shrimp, starfish, or any combination of the three that won’t kill each other.

By the way, the woman at the pet store mentioned that GloFish would be arriving in different colors (yellow, green) soon.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/12/2004 10:20 AM

So Matt how soon till your glo fish start to fight crime? The power to glow is an awesome power and remember with great power comes great responsibility.

Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 01/12/2004 10:22 AM

It looks like you have a female and two males, that might be why the one is left as the odd man out. Just a thought…

Chestnuts roasted by Happy Scrappy Hero Pup @ 01/12/2004 10:34 AM

Matt, you mention sugar gliders briefly, but never really give your thoughts on them. just wondering what you thought about em’ I was thinking of getting 2 a while ago, but I kept hearing horror stories about the noises they make, and their smell.

They can’t smell worse then my friends ferret.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/12/2004 10:37 AM

I haven’t actually seen one up close, so I couldn’t tell ya. They’re cute, but for people like us (really crowded apartment with loads of hiding spots and cats), they had "bad idea" written all over ‘em.

Ferrets are also illegal in NY (at least in my part of NY), though I can grab ‘em anytime with a five minute hike into Jersey. Would’ve definitely bought one if we didn’t have cats.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/12/2004 10:42 AM

Hey Matt.

Mantis shrimp are probably the coolest animals out there, but they won’t be living with anything else. They have a tendency to kill everything. And if it’s a "club" type, they also have a tendency to bust through aquaria. Get a spear one, keep it in its own 5 gal aquarium.

Or better yet, get a pistol shrimp. They’re colorful, mostly harmless, but they make a sound not unlike a gunshot (or cracking glass) to stun prey (small fish only). It’s great fun when you forget about them, and then think that your tank is about to explode.

I forgot to mention before, the fat danio that you have doesn’t look gravid (egg-bearing). It looks congenitally defective–the spine is bent. We used to see minnows like that all the time. If it stays like it is, no problem. If it gets worse, there’s always that shrimp…

One thing’s for sure–if you do get breeding glowfish (assuming that they aren’t irradiated to sterilize them–again, science meets pet commerce) you’ll want to keep a tight lid on the tank. Danios are known for swimming against a current (like an external filter) to lay eggs at the high point (better oxygenation). If there isn’t a filter, then the water flow won’t be high enough to encourage them anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/12/2004 11:09 AM

Sean — use the search on the main page if you’re interested in my take on Mantis shrimp. I love the guys.

This pet store by me — one with little worry about legal issues — sells a lot of great sea creatures. They often have Mantis shrimp, including some specimens that just blow away everything else I’ve seen in terms of color and size. One monster had to be 8-9 inches (or at least, that’s what it seemed), with incredible colors. Even at 60 bucks, it felt like a bargain. Alas, I don’t have a saltwater setup.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/12/2004 11:18 AM

You want entertainment, get the pistol shrimp and a shrimp goby. they are the tag team of the tank. building, digging, eating. its good stuff…

Chestnuts roasted by Draven @ 01/12/2004 11:54 AM

I recommend a Fred Saberhagen Bezerker story called "Smasher" for a great use for mantis shrimp. Bloody water hides the slasher, heed them, seed them….

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/12/2004 12:04 PM

Am I the only one who finds fish a tad creepy? Plus, they don’t really do much, and have short memory spans. No offense to fish owners though, I’ll stick to dogs thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 01/12/2004 1:05 PM

‘Cause someone has to say it: Two goldfish were in their tank. One said to the other, "You drive, I’ll man the guns."

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/12/2004 1:16 PM

One female two males…she must be popular. With two new articles I am trying to keep up but it’s so difficult. Oh well…tonight is "study night" when I go to friends house we spend an hour studying and several more hours getting drunk. It’s all good.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/12/2004 1:32 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 12th, 2004 at 12:40 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.