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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Reader Mail, Volume Tarantula.

Still working on the new design; a couple of past attempts failed, so we're trying out some other stuff. I probably won't add a new article till it's done, but I think I'll have time to write one tonight. If so, I'll link it here and all of you can giggle because the rest of the site's visitors will just have absolutely no idea that it exists. And then we will set fire to Grandma's hair while she sleeps uh huh.

Anyway, here's some quick reader mail, kicking off with something pretty cool. Very rarely, someone who worked on a film I've reviewed will touch base. Since most of the flicks I tackle are fairly obscure, the letters are just general thank-you notes for even mentioning 'em. This one's sort of in the same category, but not really. Remember that Kingdom of the Spiders review? It's from a while back. Long while, actually. The producer, Jeffrey Sneller, sent in this note...

"You did a great job of reviewing this film.  As its producer, I appreciate an honest point of view."

Even though the e-mail was complimentary, I immediately shot off a gushnote filled with apologies for anything too negative written in the review. (especially since it's an older one, I'm sure I was overly flippant) I love everything I write about, and would hate for someone associated with one of those things to mistake a comment as anything but me trying to make the articles more enjoyable for, in this case, people who just aren't very interested in old spider movies.

His response: "Your comments were fair and written with a spirited sense of humor.  Believe it or not, the story does have some factual content, however, such as tarantulas will migrate in mass to find fresh water and food (check out some of the hot desert roads, midsummer around Sierra Vista, Az. and you will see thousands of them if you really want to feel creepy).  It was also written as an environmental statement (same as the B films of the 50's, which used nukes and excessive radiation as a theme).  But our intention was not to hammer home a statement; it was to entertain, and the fact that the film has found many fans is really very satisfying.  Hopefully, we will get the film back from Good Times sometime soon and put out a decent dvd with a lot of good bonus material."

It was definitely nice to hear from him. I can't remember what I wrote in the review, but the statute of limitations on my own opinions can't be longer than a year, so I'd recommend checking out "Kingdom of the Spiders" if you get the chance.

Oddly enough, I've done an article specifically on tarantulas, too. Here's some more letters, starting with a death threat:

Laurynn: "I just wanted to let you know how incredibly fucked your article on hermit crabs was. You obviously know nothing about crabs, or pets for that matter; they are not there for your own entertainment, and if you are not willing to put in the time to care for them, you should not own them in the first place. I think its a shame that any moron with twenty-five bucks and some sadistic view of pet handling is able to walk into a store and get hermit crabs, or anything that requires care. If I were you, I would take the crabs back, or learn how to care for them properly."

Okay, I won't take this one too seriously, as chances are good that this person only landed at the Hermit Crabs article via a search engine, and doesn't know when I'm only kidding. For what it's worth, the crabs are alive and kicking, and we love 'em lots. Actually, we're about to transfer them to my girlfriend's old wire lizard cage, so I'll finally have room to buy one of those softball-sized versions. Love the softball-sized versions. Hope he doesn't eat the smaller crabs.

Nyx: "I was in Wal-mart the day after Crimmus, about to go through the check out when lo-and-behold there was a rack of GPK cards! I had heard about them from X-E and quickly pointed them out to my BF who proceeded to spaz...so I bought them. We went back the next day...and  they were out! We had purchased a 6-pack package, and none were to be seen. We ended up finding a box of the single packs... and bought some. We looked at the KB Toys outlet in the mall. They had them, but were like 30¢ more expensive, so being the psuedo-Jew that I am, went back to Wal-mart for the rest of the box. So in short, I've seen them. They're just under a dollar a pack at Wallworld. I had attempted to see if you mentioned this anywhere, so I wouldn't be sending you 'old news,' but my two minute search provided nothing."

Yep, I've seen 'em, and bought a few packs. (actually, the packs I purchased mainly consisted of strange green gum, but the cards were there) They're pretty neat and remain faithful to the original formula. No complaints here, though I doubt they'll catch on to anywhere near the level they did the first time around. Incidentally, I've got a kickass vintage GPK toy that I've been dying to review for months now. The new design will finally allow me to get around to it. Meanwhile, here's my review of Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie.

Amazon: "Greetings from Amazon.com. We thought you'd like to know that we shipped your items today, and that this completes your order.  Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com, and we hope to see you again soon."

Thanks, Amazon! Whooo!

Posted by Matt on 12/30/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 29 comments

On the whole Nathan Bitner post issue, it seems fairly credible to me. I don’t think a prankster would cook up such a post. I’m not saying it’s one hundred percent proven, but it’s what I’m leaning toward.

Anyway, it’s good to see that a producer of one of the films Matt has reviewed has commented on his article. It really establishes Matt within the professional world (although in some ways, Matt already is a professional).

Furthermore, I still need to get me some Tagergreen stuff. Maybe I’ll take Matt up on that offer if I can’t find any.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/31/2003 4:27 PM


Oh, I should probably add that I’ve cooked up a crazy idea. It’ll be my first time ever attempting this, but it just might work. What is it? Lets just say it involves Photog.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/31/2003 4:29 PM


I like the new look of the blog with the old trapper keeper design.

Chestnuts roasted by Anita @ 12/31/2003 8:10 PM


Matt, it’s totally awesome someone e-mailed you about a review you did. As Killer Duck says above, you really should be more acknowledged for the work you do in bringing obscure items and lesser-known movies to light and re-establishing interest in them. You really do have a gift of making people care about the oddest, most outrageous things (like Playmobil toys and decade-old food that would kill a lesser being). (BTW, I do remember that review. I thought it was one of the funniest you ever did, and I HATE horror movies!)

Melanie, I also bought Orange Lavaburst in lieu of Tangergreen (since I can’t find it anywhere in this part of New Jersey). Not bad at all, if you get past it not being the right shade of Cheese Doodle-orange.

One of the reasons I relish living on my own is I can buy whatever freaky shit I want and don’t have to explain it to my parents when I drag it home. I have four Sailor Moon Barbie-style dolls and a stuffed Sailor Moon doll picked up on sale at Kay-Bee and countless stuffed Pokemon ranging in size from the tiny ones on my desk to the cheap beanies I got from Kay-Bee (God bless their sales!) to the three-foot Meowth I got for Christmas three years ago.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 01/01/2004 8:25 PM


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