The X-Entertainment Blog!

12/23/2003: Advent Calendar: December 20th & 21st!

Another update: Santa Claus has arrived to save the land of Playmobil! I’m outta here, have fun everyone!

UPDATE: I’m going to keep this blog entry up top and active, since there’s so many great Christmas stories in the comments section. Feel free to read ‘em and add your own. I particularly liked the one about using a car remote to fuck with the neighborhood’s Christmas lights…hopefully will have time to read the rest before tonight. I’ll make a new entry tomorrow so everyone can compare their holiday loot haul.

Meantime, the Calendar’s just about up to date. I’ve gotta do today’s entry before I get going, and we’ll wrap it up on Christmas morning. December 22nd’s entry includes “Holiday Rice Krispies,” an old Christmastime Saturday morning commercial, and a magic wand for two very special animals. For December 23rd, we’ve got an assortment of holiday sweets from Hostess, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” promo spot, and the beginning of the end for Mare Winningham. I’ll make another update when the 24th’s entry is up, but if any of you are on your way to wherever you spend the holidays, have a good one!

We’re alllmost there! I kept these last two entries pretty short, as the last few and especially the last two are going to be fairly long. December 20th’s entry features more Christmas candy, plus that classic CBS “special presentation” bumper that I’m sure some of you will remember. For December 21st, we’ve got “Winter Lucky Charms” and an old Kodak holiday ad. Of course, both entries include the continuing adventures of our friends from Playmobil. Four more entries to go! I’m doing two more today so we’ll be all caught up. Fortunately, I don’t have to be at my sister’s house for the Christmas Eve Celebrate Good Times Come On till 6 PM tomorrow, and that should give me enough time to complete the saga.

I also wanted to take this time to thank you guys for your continued support of the site — especially those of you who continually participate in the comments section here on the blog. I don’t think it’s any secret to longtime readers that I’ve changed quite a bit in regard to the Internet — I do what I do, and that’s pretty much it. The combination of having done this for so many years mixed with a marked distaste a lot of the time towards “web culture” has made me kinda like a virtual hermit, so this little corner of the site means more to me than it would seem. Frankly, it’s been a breath of fresh air to see people willing to participate without a zillion ulterior motives, just for the sake of or enjoyment of it. With the holidays out of the way, it’s back to the usual crunch of writing articles again. You know, lots of ‘em. That means less playtime, but I’d like to think this part of the site will only grow in the next year. I’m toying with the idea of making comments limited to registered users (or making it an option), if only because it’d let those with an account quickly access their past comments and whatnot. Anyway, that wasn’t the point of this paragraph — I just wanted to wish all you guys a MARY CARSTMARSH, or whatever it is y’all celebrate.

Speaking of articles, I’m very excited about January. Not because of any major projects planned, but because there aren’t any projects planned. October was spent on the Halloween Countdown, November was mainly taken up with those massive parade reviews, and you know what I’ve been doing for December. I’m looking forward to getting back to what the site was built on — a hodge podge of kiddie culture crap that I and many others share love for. I’ve got around five or six articles in my head waiting to be written with all the materials right here in front of me, so next month should be fun.

Hey, let’s do something interesting with the comments section for this entry. If you’ve got a Christmas memory, share it with the masses! Whether it’s a story about your past celebrations, best or worst presents, or whatever else, feel free to drop a comment. Gimme something to read in-between finishing the calendar, wrapping gifts, and doing the ten trillion other things I gotta do before the 45,000 members of my family congregate to eat calamari and drink themselves stupid tomorrow night.

Woo-Hoo! Happy whatever your having, folks. Just finding this site is a top memory for yours truly. Getting my shout outs early, so make some new tales to tell and I’ll do the same.

Christmas memories? Most I have are excellent, but not that funny. This year I’m gonna spend all day in the pub on Christmas Eve, head home early and try and catch Santa ‘breaking in’, then get up early like a kid on Christmas Morning. I’ve got my Mum and Dad some DVDs and my wee brother some clothes but I’ve also got some daft gifts, too. I got my Dad a 2 foot tall ‘Ace Freely’ from Kiss doll and my wee bro (who is 18, by the way) some GI Joe figures and a ‘Ninja Warrior’ set with nunchakas and stuff - so he can relive his childhood :) Cheers for the Christmas countdown, I may miss the rest of it ‘cos it’s my last day of work - but it’s been all good so far. Merry Christmas, One And All! And A Happy Hogmany, Too!

Happy Holidays to you too, Matt!! I also just wanted to let you know I read the recent interview with you on UGO.com which was a lot of fun….Christmas memories huh? Well most of them are very happy as well, I remember getting a lot of the toys you’ve reviewed on this site in the past but I think one of my favorite Christmas memories is when I was younger, we used to do the usual leave cookies out for Santa bit, but instead of my parents eating the cookies, they would take bites out of each one and tell us the next morning that Santa got full from all the other cookies he ate at other houses.

Anyway, Happy New Year and best wishes!!
The loyal reader and resident Tim Curry fan

One of my buddies got the Cheech bobblehead where he is dressed up in a tu-tu…hahaha that still cracks me up.

Merry Christmas to you Matt, and everyone that reads these blogs. For my fav x-mas memory, would have to be when i was 7 or so, I recieved one of those GIANT Ninja Turtles (it was Rapheal) (ok well, giant to my 7 yr old eyes) And i played with that hunk of plastic for years to come, even when Ninja Turtles were no longer "cool", or people just got sick of playing with them and watching the slowly declining-in-quality show.(Raphael was my friend:) )
In any case, Ninja Turtles rule all, and I can’t wait to see many an article on them in the New Year (hint hint)
Merry Happy Whatever to you all!

Awww, Matt — didn’t know this section meant so much to you; I’d have posted more often if I did. Well, now I do, so here goes. Happy holidays to you too, pal.

Christmas memories…let’s see. I barely remember what happened three years ago, let alone childhood events, but it’s hard not to remember something when you’ve got a reminder of it staring you in the face all the time. My sister and I were really into ET in the fall of ‘88. (I’m not sure why, but it was our first Xmas back in the States after a couple of years in Germany, so maybe E.T. had just gotten big over there? That was the case with Madballs — we got back here and they were all in $1 stores…) Anyway, we really wanted a couple of giant-sized E.T. plushes, and on Xmas day, there, under the tree, we found two of the largest grey bootleg E.T.s you’ve ever seen — the things were almost as tall as we were, and probably would have been if they hadn’t been understuffed so that their necks were limp and their heads hung down to rest on their bellies. We loved them anyway. Then one of us got the bright idea of dressing them, and they were about our size (with much bigger asses, though), so we each got a t-shirt and a pair of underwear — Mickey Mouse for me, probably My Little Pony or Rainbow Brite panties for my sister (hers isn’t staring me in the face right now, which is probably a good thing, since E.T. in panties is a pretty scary thing) — and, with a bit of a struggle, dressed ‘em up good. Flipping through the family photo albums, there’s something kinda weird about seeing us posing together with E.T.s in matching underwear, but anything goes at Xmastime, eh? So that’s mah story.

Matt: I’ll send over a pic of mine — look for it. I guarantee that nobody else will send you a picture of a grey limp-necked E.T. who hasn’t changed his underwear in 15 years. Filthy bugger. I love him anyway.

Here’s one of my own — can’t recall the exact year, maybe it was ‘86. What I wanted most was Coleco’s plush ALF doll. Now, I didn’t want this like I’ve wanted so many other toys…I HAD to have this thing. My mother warned me not to get excited, because it was sold out in all the stores. (and that was a fact — my friends at school wanted one too, but none of us actually had it) So Christmas Eve comes, midnight hits, my family opens up the gifts…no ALF doll. This was the year I got my Inhumanoids Tendril (and also the year my brother got the hugeass Photon set), so I was satisfied enough. The next morning, I wander into our living room and spot — what was it — Christmas presents! Keep in mind, my family always opened all of our gifts on Christmas Eve at midnight. I’d never received anything during the actual Christmas morning. The surprise loot included another Inhumanoids figure (Granok), a couple of other things, and yes…the ALF doll. I couldn’t have been happier, and it was even better than I’d imagined.

Course, later that week I noticed that my brother-in-law also received an ALF doll. (apparently, ALF transcended kiddy toys) Thing was, his could talk. It was a bittersweet victory for me and my non-talking ALF, but I loved him all the same.

Happy Harmonica, Gorilla Grodd bless us one and all. My Holiday memories are all one big green and red blur, the pet rat we had in Hayward, CA climbing the tree, the first Christmas after my sis got out of the hospital after a horrible car wreck, Mazinga, the winter we had a half-centimeter of snow in Oakland, the time my newborn nephew was baby Jesus for the church program, Mazinga, all the Tonka trucks my uncle gave me and my brother, riding said trucks down the stairs, and of course, MAZINGA. Any one who gives me toilet paper will experience a retribution that will be swift, mighty, energon-powered, and clown based.

Well, theres not a whole lot of Christmas memories I can thin of. The year I got the rancor from Star Wars I remember clearly, since that was the day I was introduced to those nylon tie things. I think that same year, my mom was bring out a box of orniments to put up somewhere (on Christmas Eve even), and I reached for one thinking it was an apple, CRASH, thing completely shattered. Oh well, at leeast my hand didn’t bleed.

Um, let see, on eyear I left Santa a beer and ziti instead of milk and cookies, and one year I asked for a hot dog and pizza (and somehow managed to get both (this was back before frozen pizza seemed to be a major food source). Then one year my grandmother almost burned down the house when she threw the wrapping paper into the fireplace. Eeeshh.

And I just wanted to thank you for having that CBS special clip there. I’ve had the audio as an mp3 for a few years now (and it’s set as my Windows start sound), but now it feels more complete. Wheee, yay

OK, if everyone is going to share I might as well too. Plus, I’m only too glad to furnish Matt with something to read during these hectic days…this site is a haven during the busy (read: ridiculously boring, monotonous, and SLOW) work week.

OK, back to the matter at hand. Christmas memory. I have no actual memory of this event, but word has it that whatever year the Cabbage Patch dolls were being hunted down like the Holy Grail, I was one little UNinterested little girl. I told my mother in no uncertain terms that I thought they were ugly, mean (how I knew that, I’ll never know), and I definitely did NOT ever want one gracing the house. Apparently, a few days before Christmas that year, I got really sick and had such a high fever that I was delirious. In this delirium, I decided that what I wanted more than anything in this world was a brown-haired Cabbage Patch doll. My mother tried reminding me that I hated them, but hey, I was delirious and for all I know seeing glittery woodland creatures tearing up the living room furniture. Mom, bless her heart, trucked out to Toys ‘R Us and similar stores, stood in the long lines with other crazy parental units, and got me the damned doll. Oh, the lengths she went to to please her daughter! Surely this would be the best Christmas ever??

Nope. My fever broke. I hated the doll. Apparently, I felt bad enough to hold onto it though, because I found it twelve years later when I was packing for college. Ah, memories!

Merry Christmas. I just found your site about a month ago and needless to say, I’ve spent the last month reading all of your past articles. I am a child of the 80’s as well, so it’s great to relive all of my past memories humorously. Keep up the great work!

Well now I feel loved for posting a few times before! Although I don’t have such extravagant X-Mas stories, but that’s okay…I forgive myself. I just remember getting a few items from various different Christmases. One was a gigantic stuffed Raphael doll. I mean that thing was HUGE. I don’t think there was supposed to be anything you could actually physically DO with the guy, he was just– a massive Raphael, bless his heart. Another year I recall I got a fish tank. Which was…amusing until I managed to kill off the entire tank. Of course it was probably all for the best since I named them all so horribly. See, I used to have this thing where I would name stuffed animals and just animals in general by taking an adjective describing them, and adding a ‘y’ at the end of it. For example, my first goldfish, Orangey. So the fact that my entire tankful of fish died was probably just a mercy killing. Poor Silvery, Gilly, and Mickey. (Umm…can’t explain the Mickey, gotta tell ya. We’ll let that one go.) Oh–and for the grand finale, a present I got from my grandparents last year. A FLASHLIGHT. I mean, they knew I was a night owl…but come ON. Anyway, hopefully that was a slightly entertaining article for at least ONE person. Happy Holidays to everyone!

My Favorite Christmas memory is of the year my Mom ordered me like a gazillion and three G.I. Joes with all the Flag Point I had collected. It came in the mail and I knew exactly what they were, but as mothers often do, she told me to pay it no mind, that I might see it again around Christmas, and soon there after hid it, where it should have stayed until Christmas morn. Being the young adventurer I was, one day while she was at work I went into her room and scavenged for said bundle of goodies. After many minutes of suffering work I was just about to give up, when I looked up and saw the golden prize sitting on top of a shelf in her closet. I lunged for it, took it down and rattled it just boggling at what heroic Joes and dasterdly Cobras would be contained within. After going through this same process for about three weeks(I believe it was the middle of September when the package first arrived), I decided that my Mom wasn’t that smart and she surely wouldn’t notice if I opened it to see who was inside, so I made a bold move and slowly peeled off the packing tape, trying with all the while not to rip the box and managed to get it open without too much hazard. There were TONS of toys in this little tiny box, all of them in self contained bags with a weapon. It was so cool! Within a few minutes I had all of them out of the bags and a massive battle broke out. I must have played with them for a good hour that day, but before she got home from work, I retaped the box with all the Joes within and put it back in the hiding spot. I got bolder and bolder as time when on. I continually pulled them out and had fights with them, some would come for "sleep overs" and play with my other Joes for the night. Soon I stopped retaping the box. About a month before Christmas I decided that I probably shouldn’t play with them anymore incase my mom decided to wrap them, so I put it back on the shelf and told my friends I would see them in a month. Before long Christmas morning rolled around and I was ready to get my "new" toys. I opened all my gifts but there was nary a Joe to be found. I thought she must have caught on and was tring to punish me, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it, for fear that if I did it, then I would get in trouble. So I said nothing and fretted about it. Minutes turned to days, days to weeks and weeks to about a month, until I got up the courage to go back into my Mom’s room to see if my pals were still there, and lo’ and behold, they were. Since so much time had passed I just took them, threw out the box and put them in with the rest of my Joes, where they remain to this very day. I told my Mom a few years ago this story, and she started laughing. Truth be told, she hadn’t caught on to me scheme and she wasn’t really punishing me, she just plain forgot about the toys. Since I told her the story and of my harrowing adventures, shes made sure to buy me some kind of G.I. Joe every Christmas since.

Awesome, Matt. It’s nice to know that someone actually cares about these comments.

Um ditto the Merrys and all to everyone. Christmas memories…hmmm. I can’t think of much right now except something from a Xmas photo of yore. My sister was opening a present of one of those giant Barbie heads that you fix up the hair and all and my brother is looking at it longingly. That’s one funny photo. Best Christmas gift is probably from the 80’s when each of us kids got a tabletop "arcade" machine…they looked like little arcade games sort of. We had Donkey Kong, Pac-Man and I think it was Galaxian. I remember being thrilled because everyone at school wanted one.
The reindeers are lit up again today. Yay.

Being that this is X-E and all, I figure I’d post about my Christmas back in ‘85, or maybe it was ‘86, when I got the Grubby toy that linked up with Teddy Ruxpin. I was phanatical about that thing back then. Unfortunately, he would only work half the time, and this seemed to be a problem with many Grubbies.

And of course, the following year when I got my beautiful NES, which still sits by my TV for when I feel nostalgic. : )

Um, well, Christmas usually passes in a blur for me. I don’t really celebrate it myself, but my family does so I still do the buying present thing. And I end up causing a fuss because I am NOT a morning person and I do NOT want to get up early for presents on the 25th. But I have to because everyone else wants to open stuff, so I end up being pissy till I wake up.

The ones I remember most now are the bad ones ^^;; The one where my entire family had stomach flu and I just remember how we all laid around taking naps on the living room floor Christmas Day. Or the one where I had pinkeye. And Christmas Eve 2001 where my stupid attitudinal little sister threw a fit while I was doing laundry, thinking I was "stealing her socks", and launched beer and marzipan at me. I knocked her around, knives were pulled from the kitchen… and when it was all over we were so relieved that no one was dead we opened all our presents that evening. Yep, that’s Christmas for me. ^_^

But really, my favorite part is probably buying people presents and seeing how they like them.

Happy Festivs!
I’ve gotten a lot of good gifts over the years. I’m an only child, what can I say they spoiled me. One Christmas probably 89 I got a My Little Pony playset that came with a wagon with 2 wheels missing. I was very upset. Then in March of 1990 I got a new set with a good wagon. Santa made a stop by my house in March. Another memorable Christmas was the Christmas of 1997 when I got a video of a concert I wanted to go to in May.
Matt did you get that e-mail I sent you with my special ornament?

mm…hullo! i’ve been reading this site for a couple months, but never posted a comment before..here goes..

anyway, i have a few xmas memories. i’d temporarily lost faith in santa claus one year, on account of him not being in the bible. ‘look! if god created some mighty human being that lasted forever and ever and was magic, it would have to be mentioned in the book!’, i screeched. then when i went around to ask my mother if santa was real, she told me some bullshit excuse about…him being real as long as i believed in him in my heart. well, super. now i had the ability to control the existence of certain humans. ‘i don’t believe in you mum. poosh, you’re gone.’ darn, didn’t work.

so, that year, all i wanted was the quintessential ‘big’ gift of any child’s xmas…the bicycle. well, we were poor. we lived in a nasty little apartment building crawling with ants, in a heavily-minority-filled section of town. the previous year, my xmas gifts had been handed off in a bag to me from a worker in my after-skool program’s "toys for tots" or something or other. in other words, there was a snowball’s chance in hell of me getting this bicycle, i realized. my mother told me that sorry, we’re just too poor this year to buy you one…i was discouraged, but still thought that maybe it was a prank. they HAVE to get me one, or santa has to..one or the other. xmas eve, i told myself that until i fell asleep.

xmas morning, i wake up. all my gifts from ’santa’ are sitting unwrapped on the la-z-boy, and the two presents from my parents are wrapped right beside them. i look through them all, thank my parents, but can’t control my disappointment. my parents didn’t come through. santa didn’t come through. there is no infallible human being.

then my stepdad stretches out on the loveseat and says, ‘hey, amber, now that you’re done opening presents, go get me a glass of coke.’, and hands me his cup. i pout and reply, ‘isnt that usually mum’s job?’, thankful for all the gifts i did get, but still, needless to say, a bit bitter. so i take his glass, walk into the kitchen–and taking up the entire space on the floor is a brand new blue bicycle.

Mahhhhh MErrrreh xmas to mat and his cats and all xentertaiment readers uhmmmmm that amerbeh chiks storie creeped me out fo sho….

OK i just rembed man THE NINJA TURTLE PIZZA LAUNHCER i got it for xmas one year ok maybe not i know i got the old turtle layer for xmas one year but the pizza launhcer was wayyyyy cooler

it shot plastic pizza looking disks out at high vleocitys propleed by and 9v electric motor

One of my many grandmas (the way we were raised, grandparent’s siblings are also your grandmas and grandpas) always thought mom had three boys, so we spent many an hour trying to find out who the extra kid was. "There’s oldest sister, next oldest, then me, then you. Two girls, two boys, but…. but…. why the extra pair of socks? Ma! What haven’t you told us?" Many years later, we’re still looking, maybe under the sofa cushions…..

Hmmm…
…
My family used to have this Christmas tape filled with once-in-a-lifetime X-Mas specials and illegally copied Blockbuster tapes. >_> Apparently, I used to watch the video every damn day of the year. My parents tried to hide it from me, but I would always find it. Not surprisingly, it broke after a few years.

On the tape was:
-A Disney video filled with a shitload of holiday themed shorts. We’ve never been able to recover the original tape.
-Disney’s rendition of "A Christmas Carol (thank God it was re-aired on Saturday!)
-Rudolph
-A claymation special that was on CBS. It featured the California Raisins (Raisens?). We never saw that again either…
-First episode of the Simpsons (Reviewed a couple days ago, actually)
-Garfield’s Christmas special
-A Hallmark special about a little girl and a pencil box.

I’ve only got one story to share since, well, it’s the only one I can remember: I’m going to estimate I was about 10 at the time, although I could’ve been a little younger or older. For some reason or another, my dad had an insanely difficult time getting the Christmas tree into the tree stand that year. It was a Sunday evening when he finally got the tree up, telling us it was "good enough." We got it into the house and decorated it, and everything was fine and dandy… until the next day while he was at work, and the damn thing fell over. I’ll never forget coming downstairs and finding the Christmas tree lying on the family room floor. It became a running joke for the next few Christmases to ask my dad if the tree was "good enough."

My Christmas memory only starts with Christmas… when I got a Teddy Ruxpin. Oh yes, it was sweet. Until one night when I was putting him to bed and somehow accidentally poked his eye into his head. It was the beginning of a lifetime of being unable to watch eye gore in horror movies without remembering Teddy. So when everyone thinks Christmas, think of eye gore.

And for those of us who have to buy our own toys because people insist that we’re "too old to buy toys for", solidarity.

Lastly–Matt, you rock. Thanks for the hilarious memories and the whip-smart, geeky glory that surrounds XE. It makes me so happy.

There’s several different Christmas stories stirring in my head right now. Not sure how well they’ll sound when I type ‘em up but here goes:

One of my earliest Christmas memories is from when I was about 5 years old. The way Christmas usually worked in my family was go to church on Xmas eve, and then come home and open presents. It was always cool to open presents the night before the big day. On that particular night, I was told (again) how I missed seeing Santa in our house, and that he left something outside. So, we turned on the light to the patio, and there were 3 of the biggest orange plastic garbage bags I had ever seen all filled to the top with presents. I’d have to guess that my portion (I have 4 older siblings) probably took up a whole bag’s worth. I have no idea what I specifically got that year, but I definitely got a huge quantity of toys.

One of my favorite Christmas presents of all time was my Optimus Prime (must have been Christmas of ‘84). It was so memorable that I collect them today (seeing boxed optimus primes on ebay rekindled my love of transformers about 4 years ago). I was later told some more information about that optimus prime for Christmas. It turns out that he was quite the big seller that year, and that my mother was having difficulty finding one. She apparently ran into another woman who had bought up a huge amount of optimus primes, and sold one to my mom. I was told that the woman’s car trunk was filled with them.

I’d like to share more, but I see that it’s time to leave work. Not sure how Christmas has changed for other people over the years, but I sure miss being a kid during Christmas. On a sadder note, my wife has to work for Christmas Eve, so I’ll be stuck at home alone for a while tomorrow, while my family is celebrating before we get there.

Christmas memory: I’ll never forget when I got the Nintendo Entertainment system, complete with that wierd robot that spun tops. To have my own top spinning robot at such a young age was a blessing

Happy Holidays to everyone! As for the request for Christmas memories, I have a couple. My brother and I were sneaky little bastards. Every Christmas morning at about 4am we were up, sitting in one of our rooms and daring each other to go out and see how much candy was in our stockings, we’d both crack around 5 and go out to open the things, which is where mom and dad would find us when the noise woke them up by 6. That happened every year though. My best memory was a few years back, I’m thinking 1997, it was the last year my great grandma was alive for Christmas… and I nearly killed her with the Christmas tree. Well, maybe not killed her, but I was trying to pull a present out from behind the tree, and I knocked the damn thing over right towards her. I’ve never seen my dad leap so far as he did to catch that tree…

By far the best present I ever got was the Sega Genesis. I got it the first Christmas it was out, it had only come out a month or so before (along with TurboGraphix 16 I think?) Well anyway, I had opened all my presents and took one of my Nintendo games to start playing, and lo and behold the Genesis was sitting there. I had never been that shocked before. I didn’t even ask for it, no one else I knew had it, and my mom had bought me all my presents before it even came out. I’ll tell you, nothing will beat the utter spectacle that was Altered Beast the first time you looked upon it. Going from Bayou Billy to that was something else.

Before that, when I was really little, my mom used to set up all my G.I. Joe’s in a battle scene around the tree instead of wrapping them. So I would sneak down in the middle of the night, play with them all night, and then put them back in place was morning came. I loved that.

Sorry for being so long, but I just wanted to say as well that I love talking to you all on the blog. I have been visiting this site for over two years, but it was only about two months ago I started reading the blog. I gotta tell you, I love reading this almost as much as the articles (sorry Matt!).

I can only remember 2 X-mas memories right now and neither one are funny, but I’ll tell them anyway.

My brother was always horrible about waiting for X-mas morning to open his presents. So one night I was walking by the tree and heard something so of course I go look. My brother’s hiding under the tree unwrapping his presents very carefully so he can tape them back up again. To prevent me from telling our parents, he unwrapped some of mine to show me what I got. I don’t remember what they were, but I was happy.
The second memory I have is when my brother told me there was no Santa :( I was convinced I heard Santa and his sleigh so I ran to get the rest of my family and my brother laughed and said it’s impossible because Santa doesn’t exist. Bad thing was, I was only 7 at the time. I only had 7 short years of setting out cookies and milk for Santa.

It ain’t Christmas until the gift from the parents arrives in the mail, and all the box cutters used on 9/11 combined can’t get through the tape. My parents pack those friggin’ things TIGHT.

But then, if I had my way, they’d ship it in a steel safe (which would be a gift in itself) by Brinks truck.

The gift that deserves such a fortress? A check for three hundred bucks. Hello, new office chair, hello, GeForce FX video card, and hello, food-fest at Chili’s.

Weeee! Reading this all has given me a warm and fuzzy feeling. I never thought that when I found this site I would end up checking it constantly for updates, new blogs and all that. Matt, you deserve something good for Christmas for what you give us year round. This is by far the most interesting place on the web.

OMG those marshmallow descriptions were freakin hilarious!!!
Screw you winter, screw you holiday, Long live CHRISTMAS!!!

And long live X-Entertainment!! Voted most entertaining site on the internet by local bloggers!!

I’ve been reading X-E exactly for exactly one year now. The first thing I ever read was your review of the TMNT Live Action Christmas Special. It still is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life.

As for Christmas memories, beside being filled to the point of explosion with both Italian and Greek food, the important part was the toys.

I can remember get Fugitoid one Christmas morning and just freaking out. It had been months since he had come out but no where had him stock so every time my mom left the house my bro and I would remind her to buy Fugitoid and Mondo Geco if she saw them. Well I’m sure she did but we had to wait until Christmas to get them. I remember playing with him and the other action figures my cousins got for that morning. Our toys were pretending to eat pizza in ture TMNT fashion when they all said that Fugitoid couldn’t have any because he was robot. I was might pissed and told them that Fugitoid could have some cause he ate microchip pizzas.

Man, one of my most memorable Christmas memories was the year my parents gave me an Atari 7800 for Christmas. I had ben asking for a Nintendo Entertainment System for the past year - they knew this, they had asked what I wanted several times. All my friends already had or were getting NES. Chrismas morning I open that box and what do I find, an Atari 7800. I was like WTF? The reasoning was that it could play all of my old 2600 games, games that were stashed in the back of my closet and hadn’t been touched for some time. But, hey, they bought me Galaga and Karateka. Looking back, it’s kind of funny now, but I was never so pissed on Christams before of since.

Ah yes, the beloved We Wish You a Turtle Christmas. I loved that article SO much after I read it that I bought the VHS approximately half an hour after I read about it! First impulse buy I’d ever made. And I’ve gotta say, it was totally worth it. My friends and I have decided to make it a yearly tradition to watch. Nothing says Christmas like a child with a t-shirt tucked into his skin-tight, red sweatpants.

We always go to my Grandma’s house for Christmas Eve. The whole family gets together, and we exchange gifts and Santa comes to visit. It’s always a good time- it’s what I look forward to. When I was little, Santa was the next door neighbor (of course, I did’t know this), and then they started to pay someone that does it professionally. Most were pretty regular Santas, all that you wold expect, but one year we got this guy who decided to have us sing. He kind of had an accent, and we sang "’Yingle’ Bells" and "The Twelve Days of Christmas". For the 12 days, different people/ groups had to act out the parts. We had squawking partridges, ninja turtle doves ("Cowabunga, dudes!"), calling birds that said "Hello, Zanta!" on the cell phones, my cousin was a goose that laid an egg "Whoa, momma!", my aunt danced "the swim" for the swans a swimming, my grandma had to milk the cow (uncle had to say "moo") for the maids-a-milking, we had leaping Spanish lords and dancing Spice Girls…
Yeah, I didn’t list everything, they all weren’t that cool, but the whole thing was really awesome. The family really felt together that night.

Another story that I don’t remember because I was too little…
My uncle is now a recovering alcoholic, and one year he got really drunk, put the bag of wrapping paper in front of the stairs, and set it on fire. Yeah, we were in the basement… block our only exit, stupid. Oh well, he doesn’t do that anymore.

Last year, we bought my cousin a pogo stick, and we were all trying it out, there was a contest-like thing going on, and I was so proud of myself because I was able to jump longer than most of the people. I have poor balance and no real athletic anything, and it was awesome. I was doing it without shoes, too. That hurt, but it was a real accomplishment.

Happy holidays, everyone, enjoy whatever you celebrate! Thanks, Matt, for everything that you do. You really helped me to get Christmassy this year. Thanks!

Wow, been a long time since I’ve posted. What-ev. Good funtime memory Xmas? Let’s see…this isn’t my fave, but others will get a kick out of it. I’ll just die a little.
A buncha years ago, when Ren & Stimpy were still hot, my bro n’ I decided to don some red jocky undawears and sing "Happy Happy Joy Joy" in front of our family camera for Xmas. Ugh. Somewhere around here lies that Christmas tape of evil. I believe Xmas morning was also on there, so just the idiot singing would be enough erasure for moi. I’d love to see what I got that mystery year! Happy Happy Joy Joy.

I just read the 12/20 advent calendar update and the CBS swirl logo thing brings back alot of memories for me. Like you said, you always knew something big was about to happen. Does anyone else remember that these specials were also usually accompanied with a bunch of "Dolly Madison" snacks commercials? Do they even make "Dolly Madison" snacks anymore?

As for Christams commercials in general, I saw one today for Preperation H with Santa Claus squirming in his chair. Not only does the guy have to avoid kids who piss thier pants while siing on his lap, now the guy gets roids. Poor Santa.

Season’s Greetings to Matt and to all bloggers! I’ve read this site for three years, but I didn’t start posting comments reguarly until this August, when I just had to get my two cents in on that blackout in New York. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. It’s nice to know there are other people in this world who remember some of the same weird shit I do.

My favorite Christmas memory comes from my early adolescence, I think somewhere in the early 90s. Mom was making my two sisters and I (my brother was a baby then) new stockings, but she told my sister, with one thing or another, she wouldn’t have the time to get to hers that year. Naturally, my sister was upset. Her stocking at that point was pink cotton gingham trimmed with green rickrack - cute if you’re a five year-old girl, but not if you’re a twelve-year-old anyone.

My sister was the first person down the stairs on Christmas morning, and imagine her surprise when her small presents were stuffed into a brand-new stocking! The pink sock had been replaced by stocking with a dapper, serious penguin in a top hat trimmed with holly on a green background. (Mom still has the pink stocking - it’s now used for decoration.) My other sister and I burst out laughing, because we knew what she didn’t - Mom finished the stocking early and decided to give it to her as a surprise. She swore the rest of the family to secrecy, and I’m glad we kept our word. The look on my sister’s face when she saw that stocking was a wonderful reminder that the spirit of giving is Christmas is really all about. : 0 )

I think the best Xmas I ever had was back in ‘91, when my parents got me a SNES/Mario World bundle. Hell yes.

One of the presents i received when iw as younger that i cheerished was Castle Greyskull. This was the ultimate pressent any young boy could receive in the 80’s(well that and a new, which i also got on a different christmas). Two things made Greyskull great. One it was He-man’s home. Two it had all these little contraptions like trapdors and elevators in it. Even after loosing all the cool parts to it i still used the castle as the base of operations for my hero toys.

One memory I have was that magical year I got my NES (ok, it was for my sisters to but screw them). I remember my older sister scretching out, "we have a Nintendo!!!" And so began my lukeward career of on and off gamming.

Dropping in to say Merry Christmas to Matt and all my fellow X-E’ers. Wish I had more time to share some of my favorite Christmas memories, lets just say they involve a lot of He-Man, Ghostbusters, and Nintendo.

loving this site more and more,the advent calander is good stuff and i always dig your articles.keep up the good work man

I was thinking one of he greatest things I ever recieved for Christmas was the original Death Star set. I still remember to this day finding the box for it and the action figures I got in a closet and my parents explaining that Santa left the packages for them to throw away. I can even list he figures that were set up with it that Christmas morning, Luke, Vader, Solo, Princess, three Storm Troopers, Greedo, Ben, Imperial Officer guy, C3pO, r2D2, jawa and some other little short guy. Nothing better than a tall toy for Christmas. Now that is a Christmas memory.

When the N64 came out, my brother and I somehow convinced our parents to buy it when it first came out (a couple months before December, I think), so that we could get it for Christmas. Then, sometime before Christmas, we had the house to ourselves, so we hooked up the N64 and started playing Mario 64. Mario in 3D was the coolest thing I’d ever experienced up to that point. This is turning out to be more a Nintendo story than Christmas… Oh well.

My best Christmas memory was spending the Eve with some friends, barely getting any sleep cuz I was too excited, pestering my parents that it was time to get up at 2AM, and then them finally letting me free to go toy crazy at 430 AM, where the sounds of a Rebel Snowspeeder with Perseus (from Clash of the Titans.. yes its dating me..) at the controls, its lights and sound flashing as I flew it through our apartment at the time. Its also the year I got my first GI Joes, the early 3 3/4 inch ones that didnt have swivel arms! I remember getting a LOT of cool things that year.

Or Christmas 84, where I got my first big Transformer, Mirage, my first videogame system, the Atari 2600 with a bunch of games…

Or Christmas 87 when I got my Commodore 64 and decided to dress up all nice and fancy since computers were for smart people. Nothing like playing Gunship while wearing a sweater and tie I tell ya!

Sadly, since 1992, my Christmases have pretty much either had me working, away from home, or alone by myself, which is why I am usually miserable this time of year..

Try to be with friends and family and get along with them if you can folks.. Merry Christmas.

The only comment I can think of that’s worth posting is of a Christmas when I was about 5 or 6. Me, mother, and father all woke up to go see what Santa had left me. As we got close to the steps to go downstairs, something darted at us. Apparently a bat had gotten into our house and was causing a ruckus. Nothing like seeing my mom and dad put on sweat shirts and shirts over their head to try and beat a bat to death with tennis rackets. That’s what Christmas is all about I tell you.

my favorite x-mas memory is reading all of this years playmobile saga episodes. they are truly the apple of your eye matt. keep up the good work.

Matt, first I would like to thank you for providing not only a fun site, but a fun community to redide in on our computers! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

My favorite Christmas memory happened 19 years ago tomorrow. Picture it: America 1984, We were enthralled with the antics of Ewoks in the Return of the Jedi, the Gremlins in, errrr, Gremlins and we were still not calm from the Macys THanksgiving day parade.

Anyway, I wake up CHristmas morning and go right to my stocking as I always did, after emptying its contents and stuffing myself with Hollow milk chocolate santas I look to our Christmas tree……but this wasnt the tree I had seen from the night before, OH NO, this was some sort of GI Joe SUPER TREE! There my dad had bought me just about evey member of Joe and C.O.B.R.A and placed them in battle under the tree, with a few suspended by fishing line and parachutes from the ceiling while helecoptors and fighter jets (again attached by fishing line) fought for control of our trees airspace, ground transports were deploying more joes into the fray and as I looked upon the holiday battle field my heart swelled with the Christmas spirit, that or I was all hopped up on chocolate.

But I will always remember that Christmas as the one where my dad went above and beyond to come through for his son.

Oh, and Matt, on that "Special" bumper: didn’t it always suck when that came on and you were looking forward to Garfield or Peanuts but got a "Murder she wrote" special or something instead? I know it sucked for me.

A merry, merry sir. You always get a tonne of ‘thanks for the site!’ comments. Throw mine on that pile…right at the top.

The Christmas memory? After a particularily rotten year with time in the hospital and a tight belt budget at home, I wasn’t really expecting much from Santa. I had asked for the Decepticon Dirge. However, I was obsessed with Omega Supreme. Did all the drawings…taped and watched the eps with him over an over. Of course, me Mum noticed all this and come that magical morning there was a giant box under the tree in a heavy gold wrapping paper. Carefully taking off the wrapping paper (we saved it each year), it revealled big ol’ Omega. I think I passed out. To this day, me mum uses some of that same saved paper every year….cheezy yes, but I look forward to it with that same goofy glee. Mum’s rawk.

This is what we always do during the holiday season. Everytime we recieve a card or decoration with an angel on it, we try new and creative ways to deface it. I have about a dozen wingless, mustachioed ex-angels on my tree and some rather hilarious and scandalous angel Christmas cards on my mantle.

I guess it doesn’t matter how many times you tell friends and family that you don’t believe in all that God and Jesus jazz, they just don’t get it…but it’s the thought that counts, right?

I’m looking forward to the year ahead. Keep up the great work, Matt, and happy new year to one and all.

Christmas memories? I remember this one year, when I was reading some website and they were doing what they called a "Playmobil advent calendar" countdown thing and they never finished and I killed myself.

A few years ago, our family discovered–by accident–that the remotes to our cars operated at the same frequency of many strands of Christmas lights. You know, those ones that have a remote control to select which pattern (flashing, blinking, chasing, etc) it would follow.

Armed with this new information, we paraded around to different houses, changing the lights as we go.

One particular time, there was a man outside the house who was actually putting the lights up. Hiding in our warm and toasty minivan, we kept changing the lights. Everytime, the man messing with the lights was off to the side, just looking at their placement, and everytime, he trudged back to mess with his lights. We did this several times–to the point of evoking cursing and random Clark Griswold like actions–before skeddaling out of their.

Sadly, most light manufacturers have changed their lights so the remote trick doesn’t work anymore, but it was fun while it lasted!

Anyways, one year I received a bunch of small Lego sets. I was a complete Lego freak so of course the days that followed had me creating Moon Cars aplenty. One night I made a planetary landscape on the kitchen table with a fuzzy green blanket and random objects, including a panasonic TV. My dad bought when he was in the Navy. I then forced my mother to whip out her expensive camera and take pictures of my creations on this landscape.

my Christmas memories are a lot like everyone else’s, and included receiving many of the toys talked about on the site. my favorite Christmas, though, was when i was 15 and got myself the then-gloriously-new Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. i set up my N64 in the living room so everyone could share the fun(read: have MY fun forced upon them unwillingly). good times

When I was 7 my occupational goal was to become a princess, and after watching the Nutcracker that December, I came to the conclusion that I needed to have a nutcracker. I figured this out about 4 days before Christmas however, and I had already sat on santa’s lap at the mall, so I panicked. I made my parents take me to see Santa again, so I could ask him for a nutcracker. Christmas morning came and I opened all my presents, and there was no nutcracker until the very last one. I was so happy. I couldn’t wait until it was night again so I could go to sleep with it and wake up a princess. The next morning, I was still in my own bed, with this stupid wooden nutcracker in my arms, and nothing had happened. I was so disappointed.

One of my fondest xmas-present memories was the day I got Duke, Quick Kick and Barbeque. They were my first GI Joes. I collected many, many more over the next few years, but sadly, only Barbeque survives to this day.

Its funny, because I have received much better gifts since then, and I don’t even collect GI Joe figures anymore. I still love action figures, and I regularly buy Masters of the Universe, Transformers, DC Direct and Lord of the Rings, along with the occasional Marvel Legends figure, but for some reason I always think back fondly on those three particular GI Joes.

My fondest memory was when I got my SNES back in ‘91. Little did I know that the system would eventually cause me to choose my career in the future and bring my closer to my brother (we rarely used to talk before we started clearing Zelda together, and that was years after we bought it).

There was also a really bad one where we were so poor… all I got was a t-shirt and some lip gloss. It was kind of a sad Christmas, but every other year was great! ^_^

I guess my parents were trying to steer me away from action figures and the like at the time. They succeded beyond their wildest expectations.

It will be a day that will go down in infamy for all beings made of hard plastic.

I originaly just took a few that were missing a few arms and legs already and went to town. Upon seeing how some of them (especially my wrestling figures)
blew up It wasn’t long before my back yard looked like some civil war reinactment.

I of course started to regret what I did, after seeing all my childhood memories in pieces all over my yard, So I couldn’t shoot MY toys anymore. This mixed with an opportunity to get back at my sister for something I’m sure she deserved prompted me to shoot the plastic eyes out of almost all her dolls.

My parents after seeing all the carnage took the gun away within the next couple of days which sorta sucked because I was stuck playing with my Ninja Turtles with most of the bad guys missing arms or heads.

Last year I was having Christmas with my family and we sat around and watched football and drank beer all day long. Then come 5:00, we all sat down and ate some reheated Taco Bell. Afterwards, Uncle Fred tried for 20 minutes to do the pull my finger trick.

The only downside was when Aunt Macklin got a flat on three of her home tires and we had to get the jacks out to pick it up. At least she gave us more free beer.

Best Advent entry yet! Holy antlers, Batman! I have seen the future and it is Reindeer! I’m going to get on the phone and call Santa and tell him to bring Matt millions of dollars…

Oh, and thanks for fulfilling my bloodlust :) All I wanted for Xmas was dismemberment

Christmas news flash! Today at 4:00, Cartoon Network is showing CHRISTMAS COMES TO PAC-LAND!
Yes, the Christmas special where Santa’s reindeer eat power pellets will be on actual national television at 4 pm Eastern today. Check your local listings, fellow X-ers!

I hate it, but my christmases, though once loved as a child, mean almost nothing to me any more. My only anticipation this year has been the advent calander. For some reason the only christmas I remember, was probably about ‘87. My sister was absolutly dying for a camera, and if I remember correctly she got the same one that’s on the advent calender. I was 6 years old at the time, and probably asked for a lot of toys. The only one I remember was my favorite he-man toy of all time, King Hiss. I never lost his removable armor, at least not until almost ‘95 when I decided I was too old for toys. I also asked for a watch that year, that was close enough to the "swatch" era, that my rich uncle bought me 5 cheap digital watches. I wore them all, until the batteries died, but I only threw them out a few years ago, when I cleaned my room after I quit college.

I bet the Rice Krispies box is big so you have more Rice Krispies to make those yummy Rice Krispies treats for the holidays, eh?!

You say that the Hostess "Holiday" Fruitcake is durable enough to sustain 400′ drops off large buildings, but is it durable enough to sustain 400′ drops off small buildings? And what about 400′ drops off large camels?

Matt, you did a beautiful job on the Advent Calender. I really love it and can’t wait for tomorrow’s final installment.
Christmas…I don’t know. It’s a pretty creepy day. It’s my sister’s birthday, and she’s always pissed that people get presents on her birthday. And then my father puts on this stupid Beach Boys Christmas record…Ugh. It makes me want to punch myself in the face.
But the present I remember most was this stupid little tent that I recieved when I was like, 7 or 8. For three months, it sat in my living room and I lived in it, refusing to take it down. I think I even kept food rations of fruit snacks and poptarts in that thing, just in case I got hungry and couldn’t walk ten feet to the kitchen. Jesus…that’s insane.
No, no, I change my mind. That’s actually pretty funny.

Ahh. Once, when I was really little, out neighbor played Santa Clause for a Mormon Christmas Party (No, we didn’t live in Utah…). For the longest time, I actually thought he was Santa Clause. All my letters for what I wanted for Christmas went to him. Eventually, my parents set me straight… five years later. Four years after we moved. To Utah.

Oh, oh! Here’s another one. One Christmas I got some fish to take care of. They died the next day.

Always remember: If something bad happens to you, it’s Tragedy. But, if it happens to someone else, it’s Comedy. I can just imagine Killer Duck running around with a machete and a jar of Icy Hot if there was no spilling of gore to brighten her holiday, "MUST…HAVE….BLOOD….NOT….CHRISTMAS…WITHOUT….IT! Of course, I have my sister-in-law’s cat climbing up my arm when I want a little massacre action.

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays readers and Matt. This site kept me entertained through work this summer, which was otherwise excruciatingly boring, literally consisting of copying and pasting thousands of numbers. Thanks for your ever-expanding Museum of Artifact Cereals and the Toys ‘R Us Christmas Catalog of 86 and… everything on here, whether it’s making what’s old new again or what’s new altogether just that much more interesting.

A Christmas memory for me? There are too many to choose from. The sudden shock to the system of so many new material goods in one spot, at the same time… and the listing months in advance and subsequent anticipation of said goods. And phone calls to my closest cousin to exchange the news on what Santa brought. And TV Specials, and giant dinners, and just the feeling of the season. Writing that reminded me why this was my favorite time of year.

The Rice Krispies box is strange, and I thought so when I first saw it in days long past. Look at Crackle and how he’s gazing at Snap on the box; is there some unrequited love there? Snap, for his part, smiles at Pop as a friend who’s as competent at sports as he is. Crackle’s trying to get in shape, but his pudgy face tells of that mission’s success. Over time Crackle and Snap will drift apart, just as Snap and Pop will disappear over the snowy hill, racing down the mountain together while Crackle ponders. Sad.

All my Christmas memories were burned in the great fire of 1964. Sorry. Pretty much the only thing I remember is singing Christmas carols into a tape recorder while looking at a drawing my brother made of a badger out of that painted metal that you scratch.

Favorite Christmas stories, eh? Hard to select one, as our family does pretty much the same thing every year… but then again, I take comfort in the familiarity of it all. Christmas Eve we sit down, all four of us, for a nice swedish meatballs dinner, then snap the last piece on our advent calendar and read the accompanying message. (Alas, no mentions of that bitch Mare…) Then we get dressed up and head to the Princeton U. chapel for evening services. When that’s over, we come home, leave milk and cookies for Santa (yeah, we still do that, even though I’m 23 and the sis is 18), then get ready for bed. Once we’re all ready, Mom sits down on my bed and reads aloud "’Twas the Night Before Christmas," with the sis and I reading along with her. I usually watch Linus’s speech from A Charlie Brown Christmas after that, then we try in vain to sleep until… Christmas morning! Up at 9 or so, open presents, then pancake breakfast followed by Dad taking a nap. Uber-traditional, Norman Rockwell style, which is just how I like it. As Binkley once put it, "Christmas is so Republican."

Notable memories include when I was 2 and my parents somehow convinced me that, contrary to milk, Santa would actually prefer a nice glass of wine with his cookies. This led to a home movie that still cracks me up, where I walk into the room, promptly spill the wine (they really shoulda know better), and then, not yet able to differentiate between "solids" and "liquids," try to pick it back up with my fingers. Yeah, I was a stupid child.

(well, the new video card is in, though I’m pretty sure my computer has a screw loose now. Also, see the timestamp on my earlier post in this thread? I’m still awake…haven’t slept.)

Anyway, I suppose I should contribute a memory, but y’all gotta promise not to laugh.

It was Christmas, 1986, two months after my father died, and also the year my lack of belief in God started to metastasize in my then nine-year-old mind into the militant atheism that would carry me into adulthood. I was a tough nut to crack that year, and between grief and anger, I wasn’t in a very festive mood in December.

So my mom orchestrated a stunt that seventeen years later I remember like it was yesterday despite my best synapse-frying efforts in adolescence (that’s hard drugs, for those of you slow on the uptake). While my mom, my brother, and I were at a neighbor’s house for a Christmas Eve party, my uncle snuck into my house and moved the presents from their undisclosed location (one presumes they were stashed at his house) to under the Christmas tree.

A couple of hours later, we returned home, and I reacted as only a nine-year-old would…I picked up the phone and called my best friend.

"Hey, Steve, you know all that stuff I’ve been tellin’ you about Santa not being real? Forget all that! HE CAME TO MY HOUSE!"

Y’know, it wasn’t until 11 years later that my mom finally spilled the beans on who the accomplice was…when she was telling my then-fiancée all the "you sure you want to marry this guy? He was a nut as a kid" kind of stories that all mothers tell their sons’ prospective mates. When I said, "You mean it was Kevin?" my mom said "What, I never told you?"

Funny thing is, my renewed faith in mankind and the spirit world didn’t survive the winter of 1987…and amusingly, my engagement didn’t last the winter of 1998. The more things change, the more they stay the same…and it’s funny how discussions between me and my current sweetheart center around "So if we end up together, how do we explain to the kid that we don’t celebrate Christmas?"

Ultimately that’s what this site comes down to, though…and why all that late Gen-X nostalgia is so hard to resist. When I (when we all) were kids, the only deep philosophical questions were about the relative fighting strengths of the Ninja Turtles.

(ok, bedtime for me. For those of you who didn’t scroll past this immediately, thanks for reading and happy holidays!)

While I usually go nuts for any WWF/WWE thing for X-mas, my fondest memories are from the time I spend alone, early in the morning on X-mas. Just me, filled with the spirit of the season, and usually a holiday movie. Before I drift off to sleep, I’ll take a look out the window, staring at the snowfall, with X-mas songs in my head, feeling at peace with the world. Yeah, it sounds like some stupid Hallmark card, but it means a lot to me. Happy Holidays everyone.

King, I almost died laughing. I was trying to drink a cup of coffee and nearly choked. Now that’s the spirit of Christmas

I just hope no one thinks I am certifiable. I probably am but I just don’t ant people thinking that ;) I needed a good laguh because my roommate and I just went grocery shopping. On Christmas eve. Lord help me. There was this dude in the store dressed like Santa and he lookes hot and grumpy (doesn’t help that we’re having warm weather and downpours of rain). Some lady tried to run me over with her shopping cart, after I said, "Excuse me," really nice. But I guess it’s all good. When I stopped for coffee I gave the person a big tip and she seemed thrilled so I think my job is done…

Imagine its Christmas Eve. My dad is at work. Its morning and Dad’s best friend Mark is over in our garage. My dads big gift was an old motorcycle. Mark is putting the finishing adjustments on it so it’ll run the next day.

Now imagine that my brother, myself and mom watching Mark work as the engine spits fire up into Marks face and singes his eyebrows and mustache.

Luckily he was ok. But damn that has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life. Even he was laughing.

I don’t have any particular Christmas memories that stand out; it’s more of a vague landscape filled with lots of video games, silly toy lines, and a lot of fun had. Everyone has memories like these, but I think there is a certain disposition that leaves some of us hanging onto these things long after most people have "grown up". And being someone of that disposition, I really want to thank Matt for giving us misfits a forum to embrace our childhood obsessions. It means a lot to me.

Who cares about my christmas memories, not me. I just want to get drunk tommorow, Merry Christmas everyone and yeah keep up the good work.

Hooray for Santa! Or as my family calls him: Popo Jijo! Haha…Ever since we saw "The Santa Clause" with Tim Allen, it’s been Popo Jijo for us!

I’m a long-time reader of the site, and I visit EVERY STINKING DAY looking for updates.

As for Christmas memories, unfortunately, all mine are bad. I come from a family with an abusive father, and a pillhead mother, so Christmas was never very good. However, now that I’m out on my own, I’m having a wonderful Christmas. Spending time with my friends, and visiting all my online friends.

I don’t really have a Christmas memory, but hopefully I can mention something everyone can relate to. Until a few years ago I had to go to my uncle’s house the sunday before Christmas. It was never that horrible, we always ended up playing duckhunt, BUT, it was always about 7000 degrees in the house. The memory: the last year I went, someone *opened the front door* and left it open the whole night. Best pre-christmas party ever. Also, it was the first year I was old enough that everyone just got me cash instead of crappy presents that I didn’t want. Oh, the wonderous memories.

A few Christmases ago, I got so drunk on Christmas Eve, I clogged the toilet with vomit. I’ve been dealing with serious anxiety and guilt issues ever since.

Happy Birthday! That was sweet shit right there! I am dying to find out what Santa has in store for Mare. It kind of sucks that the calendar is ending, though.
Those animals rocked. The donkey was cool, I have never heard of the Dominick the Donkey song. I would have just said, "Hey look at the ass!" I’m not very original.

By the way, thanks to Christian D. for the info about Christmas Comes to Pac Land. I bet I wasn’t the only one who tuned in…

Just had a chance to look in, we use the building where I work as a gift-wrapping staging ground. Now, this is a first for me. My bro will tell you that one of my mutant powers is to trigger a randomly-timed spit-take amongst friends and loved ones, but this is the first time it happened over the internet! Now, that makes my X-Eve seeing as how I just finished my gift shopping and playing "Parking-Lot Psych-Out," where you wander randomly with your keys in your hand, and see how many cars you can get to follow you. Wonderful game, try it sometime. Tomorrows’ final chapter is gonna rock’n'rule!

I don’t have a xmas day story to share, but I just wanted to give much praise to Matt for the great job he’s done on the advent calendar, hilarious stuff. I sure hope that bitch Mare gets what she deserves…. a big venison sausage up her poopshoot. Come on like no one else was thinking that!!!

"A smarter, more organized person would’ve thought to put these entries together before the holiday, but if I have any trademarks, it’s being dumb and completely disorganized. Go me"

I’m sharing my first post position with all youse guys, group grope..uuhh.. I mean hug, yeah, group hug everybloody!

I’m wondering if this Christmas will be most memorable of all… we might just finally tell Pa-in-law that we got married in Las Vegas two years ago. Heh heh.

Excellent job, Matt! Excellent job! This advent calendar has really made my month, and has given me new Christmas memories.

I know I already posted earlier (a long one, sorry!) but the line of plastic caroler-children from this update at the manger reminds me… One year, some people that live a street over from me left their Christmas plastic out until mid-spring. They had a line of five caroling angels in front of their front hedge, and they had been there so long that they fell over and their heads fell off. They had a bunch of decapitated angels in the front yard. I really wish I had a picture of that…

Merry Christmas everybody!! :) Thanks for a fantastic month, Matt. I’m sure I can speak for everyone when I say I’m REALLY going to miss checking for updates on the Advent Calendar. I’ll always be a devoted fan. Best wishes and lots of presents for EVERYBODY!

thanks for the awesome advent callendar u put alot of time into it obviously and i just wanted to add my name to the people who want to congratulate you anyway merry chri!WINTER!stmas everyone!

Thank you Matt. you made an otherwise crappy holiday season kickass. God bless you, I wish you health and continued success in the new year.

All that we can do now is wait for Matt to top himself…odds are he will. This site only gets better.

Merry Christmas everyone!! I love reading your comments, especially those regular ones with psychotic tendencies (not that I’m mentioning any names) :) I hope you all enjoy your CHRISTMAS day..yes Christmas, this is one place I don’t have to be politically correct and say "holidays", I hate having to say that at the office. No offense to anyone that doesn’t celebrate…happy whatever you do!!

I swear, I got up and pumped my fist when that reindeer came out. Then I realized…I’ve been waiting three weeks to see how this is going to turn out…and it is a calendar meant for 2 year olds. God bless Matt and the emotions he can get out of us.

P.S. That shot of Mysterious Boy cut in half with the blood was just too much. I have never laughed so hard. Extra props to Matt for setting up all those pictures…sometimes I almost believe they are real.

FINALLY! The wrappings all done, time to load it all into the car, and get my skedaddle on. I may/may not see you guys tomorrow, but I will be here Friday. Good night, sweethearts, it’s time to go. Merry Christmas to one and all, and may the good Lord take a liking to you (and blow you up REAL good). Later.

Y2JB78, isn’t Holidays derivative of Holy Days anyway? It is too nice a day to get into what I think about the PC crowd.

Christmas is almost over here, wasn’t that bad, good lunch at the chow hall, a couple of big booms…plus I get to come to work at 8am tomorrow, thats sleepin’ in for me:D Hmmm, happy Christmas memories, I’ve had a few massive He-man/GI Joe draws in my childhood, what can I say, I was the baby…what else, one year I got Sonic and Streets of Rage I believe, plus 50 bucks from my grandma I used to buy another game…those were rare though, Christmas rarely worked out the way it was supposed to…relatives approximately 5 times older than you shouldn’t be guying you clothes…Oh yeah, one year I wrote down a list of 10 Genesis video games I wanted and number 10 was "Columns"…so Christmas day, I get to the grand finale, the wrapped video game box…you all know which wrapped gift to save for last…just based on weight and size…anyway, what else should I get but "Columns" and I put on the "This is exactly what I wanted face" and I thought to myself, "You got no one to blame but yourself, she got you what you wanted, you put it on the list". I think I gained a lot of maturity at that moment. On the other hand, my brother gets robbed every Christmas, one year he got a telescope as his "big gift" even though he was only interested in astronomy for like a two week phase during the summer, boy he did his "This is exactly what I wanted face" like a trouper, I don’t think Russell Crowe or Tom Hanks could’ve topped that one, one year he was going through his Beatles phase and thats he still gets Beatles stuff every year…oh, another Beatles tie, yay, last year I got him "Stankonia" just to break the curse and he said it was the best gift he had gotten from family in a long time, oh and for three years running he’s gotten a watch…One good thing about being in the Army, they know you’re coming home once a year, they get you the presents you want…

That "special" banner used to get me high as a kite. I remember shreiking with excitment and dancing around the room when it came on. Am I the only one here that acted that way? Maybe I was just exceptional hyper as a kid. The same effect happened to me when I got my Cabbage Patch Doll for Christmas when I was 7. You know, shreiking?!!!

I would like to a) wish everyone a Mare-E Christmas and b) mention that llamas are, in fact, camels. They are all in the family Camelidae. The ones we usually think of are just different kinds from the South American ones.

So if you pull the same stunt in another year, Matt, feel free to take the wind out of someone’s sails if they try to correct you.

What a day today was. My sister called and said she got an "interesting" DVD from my folks…it was the DVD I was supposed to be getting. So now I am without it until my sister decides she wants to ship it back up here. but i did learn about llamas and camels which was something cool. i can imagine matt using it next year and saying, "in your face, nativity leering masses!" pardon my lack of uppercase letters, im feeling frigging lazy. happy rest of xmas everyone. may it be full of dragons that breathe fire (this iis the first year i got dragons on a shirt from my mother…YAY NO PINK KITTIES!!!

Please let the grand finale to the Calendar come soon…I don’t want to end up like someone who sees the first part of a two-part episode in September and has to wait until after the World Series or something to watch the conclusion.

only one left! I bet he’s thinking of a musical show-stopping performance for the folks in playmobil land!

Merry Christmas everyone. I’ve been reading the site almost forever now, but haven’t posted anything since the last forum exploded. I have a couple of Christmassy stories. Sorry that one is kind of long.

My dad started his own company in 1992 and the money wasn’t coming in like he thought it would. Our Christmas that year was rough (my gifts were a soccerball, some cookies, and some oranges.) The next year was better, but money was still really tight. Later that second year, though, buisness picked up by about a billion percent, and 1994 brought my sister and I the "More presents than any kids deserve" Christmas. Box after box.. we probably unwrapped gifts for well over an hour. Finally, I opened my ‘big’ gift, which was F-Zero, The Legend of Zelda, and Contra 3 all wrapped together. It was amazing. My mom told me to go let the dog inside and sweet merciful crap, there were two new bikes outside! She told my sister to grab something from the closet and holy hell, there was the Miracle Piano system for the Super Nintendo! For the next month, whenever my parents told me to get something, I got really excited.

That doesn’t beat the Christmas of 89, though. I don’t remember any of my presents that year, only that it snowed. It wasn’t really snow, so much as it was falling frost that melted the instant it hit the ground. This may not seem like a big deal to most of you, but for a six year old living in the San Francisco Bay Area, it was a Christmas miracle.

A lot of people remember that CBS "Special" logo. I know at least three times its been parodied… once on "Animaniacs", once on "Simpsons" and on the first "Homestar Runner" Decemberween animation

Murry Kibmas and Happy Chaka Kahn to everyone. Made out well this year… major presents included whiskey, tumblers, a giant three-flask set, and a plug-in cooler for my car. Looks like my family is advocating drinking and driving… guess they want to do away with me. I also got gift certificates to Best Buy. So now I have somewhere to go with my plug-in cooler at my side.

This is such a Breakfast Club Christmas. I’m still waiting for the carton of cigarettes.

Hey, everyone. My Christmas was pretty good this year. Although I WAS at a frigging 10 hour long party at my boyfriend’s house with over 40 people there. I had fun, though. I think one of my best Christmas presents was a naughty French phrases book. Just in case anyone wanted to know how to say, "I don’t give a shit, defiler of virgins!" in French, here it is:
"Je n’en ai rien å foutre, espéce de dépuceleur de vierges!"

Got to see the relatives I like, avoid the ones I don’t, got a SpongeBob disc for my VideoNow player (you too can watch Squidward while you’re on the toilet), decided not to find out Killer Duck’s address to send a new blade and a Sam’s Club case of liniment, watch my sister-in-law’s cat (also known as the Goddess of Ill Will and Bad Tidings) all hopped up on catnip, and generally put my diabetic self in danger with endless treats. Hell of a lot better than my Hallowe’en when my drunk cousin showed up. Ah well, God made this a Quantum Universe, so farther along the line on some paralell earth, I’m dead. Or fabuloulsy wealthy.

katie, I was the same way. I used to go insane for that swirling logo. Now that I am older I go insane for that swirling feeling I get when I drink too many beers. I never had a Cabbage patch Kid but I did rip the head off of one. I got grounded. And fined.

So… where’s December 25th’s entry? Is it there and I just can’t find it?

Yup, that’s the one. In fact, I notice the page headline is "Sponsered by Dolly Madison!" - Another Charlie Brown Special reference.

I’ve always loved that bup-ba-dup-adup-bup-ba-dup-adup-bup-a-dup-adup-bup-BUP! tune. It meant special in a Special way.

Christmas was awsome this year we had sushi and sake (read 2 large things) and after that my brother had a little rum (read 1 liter) he needed to get rid of to bad I can’t remeber a thing now oh well. Merry Christma