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12/08/2003: “A Family Circus Christmas” & The Great X-Mas Beer Adventure.

Ahhh, made it just in time. Here’s my review of A Family Circus Christmas, the 1979 holiday special where Jeffy persaudes Santa Claus into delivering his dead grandfather for Christmas morning. Some of you have probably seen it, though it’s by no means one of the more famous X-Massy toons. It’s really not too much like the strip, which might not be a bad thing depending on your point of view. I’ve included four video clips with the review, so go. The calendar will be updated in a few hours.

As anyone who lives remotely close to where I do knows, parts of the East Coast were hit with a pretty massive snowstorm over the weekend. Big nasty one with lots of ice and walks that needed shoveling. Just as the storm was peaking, I realized that I was looking at my last chance to hit the stores before my car was inhaled by snowy terror.

So, we jetted to the grocery store and picked up this 18-pack of Michelob’s “Ales and Lagers,” pretty much the closest thing to Christmas Beer I could find. From there on out, we were stuck home with nothing but an 18-pack for around 30 hours.

There were six different kinds of wintery beer in the box; with nothing else to do, we used one of each as the tasty backdrop for six different Christmas activities. I’ll tell you about the first one a little bit later. It involves beer bottle rolling pins.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 78 comments

Ah, but you forgot to mention that freaky theme song that went: "The dreeeeeee-merrrrrr / will have his daaaaaaaaaaaaaay! / They will SUUUUUUUUR-PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!"

Holy McIntyre, this special was messed up.

Ghosted by LaGremlin @ 12/10/2003 1:18 PM EST


I had to save the background and open it in Animation Shop to figure out what was going on.

About the star–that’s not quite a Masonic star, the star of the Order Of The Eastern Star. Which may or may not be related to the Masons. I’ve never been able to figure any of that out.

Ghosted by fangirlx @ 12/10/2003 1:49 PM EST


Why not show some love for "Ida Know" and "Nobody"? "Not me" has always been the Diana Ross-like diva of the three, and Ida Know and Nobody are just shoved into the background…it’s just not right

Ghosted by salaciouscrum @ 12/10/2003 7:39 PM EST


that bit about the lamp… that got me. Just when I think I’ve hardened to your offbeat style of sarcastic reviewership… you hit me with that Lamp business.
Wasn’t plugged in… hehehe.

Ghosted by gregslagel @ 12/10/2003 7:58 PM EST


A very clever use of the "not me" ghost running through the margin. This very refined kind of detail shows that you really take this crap to heart! Kudos to you.

Ghosted by a JACKASS @ 12/10/2003 9:07 PM EST


A few things,
1. though I noticed the ghost, what is he from, originally?
2. my thinking is that this special doesn’t run because parents groups believe kids will believe that it’s okay to get re-animated corpses of loved ones for Christmas . . . or at least expect them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. "Bart, even if scientists could re-animate the Three Stooges, what makes you think they’d want to hang out with you?" "Yeah, I’d guess they’d want to hang out with their family, huh?"
3. I remember only one funny Family Circus comic. They’re at Disneyland and there’s a montage of images of Frontierland, Fantasyland, Tomorrowland, etc. Then one of the boys says, "I need to go to Pottyland." Awful sense of humor, but when you’re 8, that’s freakin’ brilliant.

Ghosted by inkmage @ 12/10/2003 11:00 PM EST


Went to Borders today; ambling about the children’s section, I discovered Family Circus-themed FOREIGN LANGUAGE CASSETTES.
Yes, with the help of those three adorable moppets and their egomaniacal, bacon-haired brother, you can learn Spanish! French! German! Portuguese! Japanese! Hebrew! And I’m sure there’s more I forgot, there were like a dozen listed on the back of the package!

Wish I’d had the money to buy that. Anyone out there with the money to buy one of these… do it. Sacrifice your dough and let us know if it was good. We’d appreciate it.

Ghosted by G'Tron @ 12/11/2003 8:23 AM EST


…I remember seeing this on TV before.

I thought it was a bad dream.

I quickly forgot about it when "Year Without A Santa Claus" came on after it.

Snow Miser fixes EVERYTHING.

…speaking of which…Matt, how about a review of "Year Without A Santa Claus"? I’d like your take on it.

Ghosted by Chris Waters @ 12/11/2003 1:07 PM EST


I <3 Mystery Boy.

Ghosted by Mare "death to the snowman" Winningham @ 12/11/2003 2:00 PM EST


I saw some "for better or for worse cartoons" a few years ago on cable. I thought I was totally hallucinating from a fever or something. But it was real!! I wonder how I never saw that stuff when it first aired?

Ghosted by sdfvav @ 12/11/2003 4:45 PM EST


Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that Jeffy asks the mall Santa for a ROCKET LAUNCHER in addition to bringing dead grandad back from the grave?

Ghosted by EmperorBinky @ 12/11/2003 5:14 PM EST


Oh man, that "Not Me" had me thinking I was insane…why was that little guy put on the reveiw? I never got to get a good look at him…
Good work Matt!

Ghosted by KTK @ 12/11/2003 7:14 PM EST


Hey thanx Top1214! I too use Safari and am a Mac user, so maybe that’s our problem. Sorry Matt, didn’t know it was a Mac problem. Its not so bad to get around; I just highlight the font and read it that way. Thanx for giving us a heads up tho! ^_^

Ghosted by CardCaptor Loki @ 12/11/2003 7:42 PM EST


dang a few people beat me to the fact Dad is a dead ringer for Hank Hill. All he needs is a southern accent and a few "God Dang"s and a "I Tell ya what" or two and it is Hank. That and Gramps to be a legless racist against Asians and Germans.

That not me ghost freaked the hell outta me man.. Great stuff.

Ghosted by Rattrap007 @ 12/12/2003 1:42 AM EST


My browser, for some reason, has decided to stop playing anim-GIFs. I never saw the Not Me. But how do I get this thing to run anim-GIFs again? I’ve asked everyone and they don’t know.

In 1991 Keane tried a fourth ghost, "O Yea!" Her purpose was to remind kids about important things right before they’re due, like "O Yea! You need to make me a special costume for the play in ten minutes!" O Yea was a one-note pony performing a gag that had been done in the strip series long before her. She died quick. But boy was she evil.

Ghosted by Mars @ 12/12/2003 3:28 AM EST


Wow Matt, and I thought I was the only one that remembers that insane special. Althought I kept creating a morbid ending for it. But thanks for making me relive another forgotten christmas special. Any hope for the "For Better or worse" one?

Ghosted by James @ 12/12/2003 4:46 PM EST


I feel like such a bad, bad person by thinking that Jeff’s mom is a really hottie. C’mon, who wouldn’t tap that?

No wonder she has so many kids…

Ghosted by Xoxotl @ 12/12/2003 9:08 PM EST


Molly Ivins named her dog Shit. Is Barfy really worse than Shit?

Ghosted by TOP1214 @ 12/13/2003 9:35 PM EST


The only way I would act like Jeffy’s Dad on Christmas is if there wasn’t some of that Christmas beer in my stocking yo.
But I really think that Moms just wasn’t giving it to him anymore, you would be sad too:(

Ghosted by Kasey @ 12/19/2003 7:16 PM EST


Well I actually grew up with this one and compared to some other horrors of the Christmas special world this was actually good (I don’t really think I need to explain the terrible "The Bear Who Slept Though Christmas" or the so-bad-I-have-fast-forwarded-through-it-for-ten-years "Buttons and Rusty in The Christmas Tree Train") But I was dissapointed at the way you skipped the scene inwhich mommy tries to tell Jeffy that Grandad is dead and there ain’t no way in heck Santa can change that. Oh well, watch the Cristmas Tree Train, that should be punishment enough.

Ghosted by Bre77 @ 12/20/2003 10:47 PM EST


This fricking thing was on up in Canada yesterday! It was on Treehouse TV, the Canadian version, of, I guess, Noggin. I was working on installing some wood flooring with the TV on for company, when my wife said something to the effect of "What the hell is this?" My 2 year old son had apparently demanded that the channel be changed when Family Circus Xmas came on. I ran downstairs and had to watch it – it was as bad as Matt’s review said. Whoever greenlighted this fucker back in ‘79 must have been spending lots of his paycheque on coke, because this is the sorriest excuse for a Xmas special I ever saw.

Ghosted by Ninj @ 12/22/2003 5:01 PM EST


There was a Family Circus Easter special too, wherein Dolly goes out to the backyard before the damn roosters are awake & sings what might be the shrillest, most annoying song in the history of larynxes, to summon the Easter Bunny, who turns out to sound like some poor man’s Scatman Crothers. There’s probably already a review of it here & I’m a dumbass.

Ghosted by Jon @ 01/08/2004 4:30 AM EST


Hey I liked this thing as a kid–it’s cheesy and a little odd but it’s cute too…ah shit, I’m just a sentimental nutbar at Christmastime…

Incidentally this video goes for at least $40 on eBay or half.com.

Ghosted by Robert @ 01/15/2004 11:16 AM EST


I can’t help it…I’m SO infatuated with Jeffy’s mom.HOT HOT HOT. I want to tap that ass with no rubber, RIGHT NOW!

She kinda has a Demi Moore look in her…meaning fantasizing her riding a strip pole isn’t far off…

Ghosted by alisonchains4 @ 03/20/2004 11:05 PM EST


The Bear Who Slept Though Christmas… sounds cheesy.

By the way, the look on Jeffy’s face when he said, "He can, too!" in the "Billy stops being polite and starts being real" video is so screwed up its funny.

Ghosted by NES Boy @ 04/05/2004 9:25 PM EDT


Shit, I remember watching this. I borrowed this from the library when I was like 7.

Ghosted by Bob Dole @ 06/17/2004 3:22 PM EDT


"PJ’s foot is in my back." For your information, I love this movie. My boyfriend ordered me a copy of it off ebay, as well as matching pillow cases. Hopefully you won’t bash two other Family Circus classics…Easter AND Valentine’s Day.

Ghosted by MattMezzano @ 07/10/2004 1:29 AM EDT


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