Wow, the Bitner really is back. The whole Bitner extravaganza of a blog is truly truly truly outrageous in an unsolved mysteries kind of way…except its been solved!

Ghosted by Kennef @ 11/28/2003 4:16 PM EST

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That was excellent, Matt. Phyllis Diller was smashed! I’m suprised she was able to stay on the goose. Dolf Lundgren was really baked. Either that, or he had no brain cells to begin with. Pat Sajak is a luser, I don’t even like him on "Wheel".

Ghosted by Hope @ 11/28/2003 6:04 PM EST

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Man those clowns must’ve really killed Robert Vaughn’s career because he’s now doing commercials for some local lawyers. Damn those clowns!

Ghosted by Stacey @ 11/28/2003 8:57 PM EST

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Matt, again you’ve outdone yourself. Just for the record, the float that went all haywire and kiled some folks was Sonic the Hedgehog. Lousy Mario imitator. Never saw Mario mowing down three people. Who is Stepfanie Kramer anyway? Phyllis Diller and Lundgren clearly hung out at the same pre-show party. Jeez. Hey, I wonder if that insipid clown from 1984 that was clearly touching Joey Lawrence inappropriatly was one of those clowns trying to steal Robert Vaughn’s air time. I wonder about a lot of things. Like who thought giving Magic Johnson his own talk show was a good idea? Or what was that thing on Gorbachev’s head? Oh well. I could use some hot cocoa myself. Bye everybody!!

Ghosted by Tuff Daddy Cool @ 11/29/2003 1:56 AM EST

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thats BS man, the best mcdonalds commercial was not the doodler one. Someone back me up on this that it really aired, all my friends don’t believe me. there was a mcdonalds commercial with this retarded guy working a register all talking about how great it is to work at mcdonalds, then this hot babe comes out, and he goes all retardedly "’is is ma girfrend, i et her a mcdona’s". funny, yet not supposed to be. does anyone else remember this?

Ghosted by UlicQel @ 11/29/2003 3:16 AM EST

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During the Yugo ad I swear the old dude says "we needed a dependable fuckin’ car" I mean, I KNOW he says second, but it sounds like fuckin’.

Ghosted by NotIan @ 11/29/2003 5:44 AM EST

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Messed up thing about the Rocert Vaughn lawyer ads-I have seen them both here in Boston AND down in Georgia (for different law firms). I think it’s like one of those things where they shoot one "main" advert and when they show the graphic for the law firm they play a "personal" voice over. The first time I saw it was in Georgia and then when I came home I thought I was seeing things. Sad when all you remember about someone is them shilling for shysters and being annoyed by clowns.
What also amuses me is that Pat Sajak probably gets asked EVERYWHERE he goes about Vanna. He goes to the supermarket and people probably hound him about her…public restrooms, everywhere. Let’s face it-she’s the real star of the show, not him and he knows it and it really pisses him off. I mean seriously, she DID play "Venus the Goddes of Love" in a made for TV movie. What movies has Pat Sajak been in? How many best selling biographies has he written? Vanna’s bio was even called, "a Hell of a book" by Matt’s favorite Golden Girl, Dorothy. So Pat is probably bitter about living in the shadow of a woman who does little more than smile warmly, applaud, and turn letters (well, now all she does is touch the video screen). Pat’s life is pretty pathetic, if you ask me.

Ghosted by Killer Duck @ 11/29/2003 11:12 AM EST

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I can’t see the clips.
O well, must be problems on my end. Anyway, great job Matt!

Ghosted by Whitney @ 11/30/2003 9:45 AM EST

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Did anyone notice that Robert Vaughn actually messed up when he was reciting the preamble to the constitution? Geez, I learned that in like the 4th grade. Maybe those clowns were making him nervous.. They’ll do that to ya. ::shudders::

Ghosted by LioConvoy @ 11/30/2003 10:08 PM EST

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happy thanksgiving and thank you for a great review. i laughed when i read the article since it was so funny. the commercials were great too. all of those mcdonalds commercials make me hungry. wasn’t the cosby commercial for the episode when they meet stevie wonder and record a song with him. great review and happy holiday.

Ghosted by Romo @ 12/01/2003 8:53 PM EST

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Matt your Macy’s Parade artical was awesome! Your comments on Sajak, Stepahnie Kramer, Phyillis Diller ect. was funny!
Now, you said in your artical, that you’ve spent hours trying to figure out how The SUPERMAN BALLOON lost his hand. Well, here’s somewhat of an answer-
CBS had covered the Parade that year from uptown.
Superman lost his hand from the start of the parade.It looked like his hand was tied in a knot at the wrist. I kid you not, seconds before the hand fell to the ground, they cut camra and he wasn’t seen again.
But, it wasn’t till the end of parade, CBS showed highlights of the parade while the credits were rolling. It showed a Superman Balloon handler picking the hand up off the ground (Still inflated I might add)and moving it off to the sidelines. Then the camra panned up at Superman with no hand. If I’m not mistaken he had gotten snagged on a tree limb.
Then during the parade Superman had encountered another problem.
If you look at your ‘86 parade again, you will see (When Kermit the Frog is introduced) you will see in the background on the left side of the screen showing Superman swaying to the side. Then when Pat intros. The bag pipers paying you will see that Superman isn’t even there. He was lowered to the ground. But it isn’t till Pat introduces The Doodle Bug Float, you will see behind Pat, Superman is flying again. I don’t have an answer that.
Anyway, I hope you’d found it helpful and interesting.
I hope next year you’ll have more parade stuff.
Have A Great Holiday!!!

Ghosted by night-train2004 @ 12/05/2003 1:17 PM EST

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I just wanted to add that I’m in the UK, know nothing of the Day parade or a lot of the people (Save for Dolph, Stefanie Kramer(!), Joey Laurence and Robert Vaughn) but still found it funny as hell. It’s almost something to rival ‘The Worst Witch’ review, but nothing quite beats Tim Curry and the elusive paper sun.

Ghosted by DrVenkman @ 12/14/2003 9:03 AM EST

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Un. Fucking. Believeable.

They could NOT have made Orko any more gay.

And the relentless Mickey D’s advertising…oh, it’s fucking genius!

Ghosted by Mike @ 01/16/2004 7:56 PM EST

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Holy Crap. I cried i laughed so much. I remember a lot of this shit, but who could have reminded me about Dick Van Patten singing a commerecial song about the family dog, trying to look intersted. Classic.

Ghosted by Earthwormgym @ 04/23/2004 11:54 PM EDT

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god i love spending a lazy sunday afternoon just reading about a drunk phyllis diller and an armless superman. i remeber these parades from when i was a kid. the old ads bring back a LOT of old memories, some i cherish and some i’d soon forget.( the wuzzles?)
i have many of the commercials that matt has graciously given to us on this site on old tapes of the real ghostbusters i still have. i watch them occasionally because not only were they great, but i still like the commercials.
i have the choco bliss commercial and even the one featuring Hi-C 100
with new 100% juice, and the new long straw in my Hi-c Fruit Drink.

god looking back i know theyre corny but theres something about them that just make you feel nostalgic. I feel old and i’m only 20. now thats a damn shame

Ghosted by Randy @ 06/13/2004 5:25 PM EDT

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i just wanted to know how to upload my videos
on to this site and if anyone has any solutions
i am all ears.

frankie smales

(frankie smales movie and tv review uk)

Ghosted by frankie smales @ 11/09/2008 1:51 PM EST

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