X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.
« [Main Index] »

New Article: Superman Peanut Butter!

I said the next article would be about peanut butter, and that waddn't no lie. Not sure how many of you remember it, but I'll never forget Superman Peanut Butter. Might've been the same ol' crap found in the jars of every other brand, but fuck me if it didn't feel different. Review includes everything from a firsthand look at the twenty-year-old beast to two different commercial reviews and a quick review of some of Superman's other edible adventures. Its strength...is its great taste.

Oh, for those curious as to whether anything that went on during the '85 and '86 Macy's Parades could hold a candle to the Scooby Doo Float or the Joey Lawrence dream sequence found in the '84 edition, here's something Goggles Pizano sent on in. It's a poster he's kept for all of these years, promoting one of the special floats we'll be taking a look at in the next review...

Wait till you see how it looked in real life, my friends. Roll those drums and shit. By the way, we finally took out of Christmas decorations. I say "finally" because I usually start doing that by late October. My God, we have the ugliest decorations in the world. Santa Clauses of all races, broken ceramic snowmen, and even a few old tree toppers that look alarmingly like Satanic pentagrams. I'll try to take some pics tomorrow.

Posted by Matt on 11/25/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 69 comments

1 st post?

Chestnuts roasted by Lone Wolf @ 11/25/2003 1:58 AM

Woo 2nd post my closest ever!

Chestnuts roasted by Lossenelin @ 11/25/2003 2:36 AM

3rd is my closest!

Chestnuts roasted by jjaynah @ 11/25/2003 2:37 AM

The question is what kind of jelly to put on your peanut butter. Maybe that’s where the company of Superman peanut butter went wrong. You can’t just put any jelly with Superman, and peanut butter alone is crap, therefore no one could eat it. mmmmmmmmmmmm…..eat it!

Chestnuts roasted by Mark @ 11/25/2003 2:42 AM

The only thing that would’ve been better would be Chunky Superman Peanut Butter, complete with a chunky Superman on the label.

I’m still just very impressed that none of those twenty year old foods you’ve reviewed have jumped out of their ancient coffins and attacked you yet, Matt. I’ve seen five-year-old cans of Simpsons Spagettios on the shelf that tried everything to get me to purchase them, but their negotiation skills were weak.

Chestnuts roasted by Lord Andy @ 11/25/2003 2:58 AM

I guess the ‘if Superman uses it, it must be healthful’ principle was the reason Marboro so heavily advertised in "Superman II"
Isn’t there a scene in "Superman III" in which Richard Pryor is seen eating Superman peanut butter?
Speaking of which, Robert Vaughn – who Matt implied he never had heard of before in the T-day Parade ’84 article – played the bad guy in "Superman III" as well as playing "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." which used to be rerun all the time on TNT and in the final year of "The A-Team".

Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 11/25/2003 3:20 AM

Brian Doyle-Murray, eh?

Two words: Noah Vanderhoff.

This man has no Penis. Sphincter Boy. He Blows Goats. I Have Proof.

Garrison: That fifth season of the A-Team never happened. Like Rocky V and the third season of the White Shadow.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 11/25/2003 3:34 AM

Choco-Diles do still exist!!! They still make them!!!!

They are sold at my local gas station and at the hostess/wonder day old store.

Choco-Dile I LOVE YOU!!!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 11/25/2003 4:00 AM

Maybe you can wash the Superman Peanut Butter sandwich with Donald Duck Orange Juice?

Does anyone remember Donald Duck Orange Juice?

Chestnuts roasted by Tom @ 11/25/2003 4:03 AM

Anyone else notice that Lex has got two right hands in the shot of him dipping the cracker in the PB? Ahh the joys of overseas animation.

Chestnuts roasted by Michelle @ 11/25/2003 4:08 AM

Shang Tsung’s dad can so beat up Superman’s dad.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 11/25/2003 6:07 AM

Matt,

It may not have been explained in any cartoon, comic or movie script, but the pilot episode of Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman had Martha Kent explaining that if clothing was close enough to his body, it never got dirty. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that Clark never needed to wash.

So I guess it was only the cape that he had an infinite supply of…

Chestnuts roasted by Pete @ 11/25/2003 6:13 AM

Yeah, Pete, I remember it being explained a couple of times during that series. I recall it being said that anything within a few millimetres or so of his skin was equally invincible. This has left me wondering how Superman trims his toenails without waiting for them to protrude from his toes by a centimetre or so. It’s a good job he’s got invincible socks.

Also, there’s no logical reason that I can think of for why the ‘Lois and Clark’ was omitted from the show’s title in the UK.

Chestnuts roasted by Simon @ 11/25/2003 8:38 AM

Thanks for making me hate Lois and Clark. :/ All I remember about that show was that Murray Futterman once had a cameo role, but now that I think about it, that was for "The Flash." I remember nothing about Lois and Clark save for the fact that Brenda’s boringest boyfriend was Superman.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/25/2003 8:49 AM

WOW! I remember when I got my first box of Superman Hot Cocoa. It came with a free Superman Mug offer. I waited by the mailbox everyday for 4-6 weeks for that mug. I loved that mug…

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/25/2003 9:15 AM

…and now it’s dead. BWAHAHAHA.

Chestnuts roasted by Marc @ 11/25/2003 9:27 AM

Oddly enough, since Superman is one of the few superhero comics/legends I ever really got into, I had no idea he ever had a peanut butter. I mean, think about it. Even when the world went Batman-crazy in 1989, peanut butter was one of the only products the Caped Crusader’s symbol didn’t appear on. Yet Superman got his own legume sandwich spread. There’s got to be something special there.

I don’t know about Chocodiles, but Donald Duck Orange Juice is still very much alive and well in major grocery stores in southern New Jersey, including the one where I work.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/25/2003 9:32 AM

I ate Skippy in the 80′s and still do. I’m 32 and bring a pb sandwich to work everyday much to all my coworkers amusement.

Chestnuts roasted by lepnhoj @ 11/25/2003 10:10 AM

I have on tape another Superman PB commercial (about the same vintage as the one you describe with girl and dad in car). This time, Mom and boy are IN the store, in the PB aisle, and Superman comes whipping up to them to suggest they try his brand of peanut butter. Junior’s jaw drops to the floor, and his eyes are as big as dinner plates as the Man of Steel offers Mom a sample to taste for herself. The best part is… MOM is TOO STUPID TO NOTICE it’s Superman handing out product samples at the Safeway! All she knows is, that’s some great tasting peanut butter. "Nutricious tooooooo!" he shouts as he flies away. Kid is all "WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?" while idiot mother raves, "Yeah! That really did taste good!"

Chestnuts roasted by Evil Colonel @ 11/25/2003 11:03 AM

I eat peanut butter all the time. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Mmmmmm, Jif is definitely my favorite. Eat it by the spoonful. And on hamburgers, too. Yep, great stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by AlfonsoTheBat @ 11/25/2003 11:42 AM

I had those pretzels! And that hot cocoa mug…and I still do somewhere…yay for never cleaning!

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 11/25/2003 12:11 PM

I have a DVD (Bootleg, found it at a comic convention in Novi,MI) of a bunch of old commercials. The funniest ones being for Corn Flakes, featuring George Reeves as Superman using his X-ray vision to spy on kids eating breakfast to find out *gasp* they have run out of Kelloggs Corn Flakes! The commercials go on to tell you how people are always running out of Corn Flakes and since not everyone is Superman, you should pick up an extra box. If you can ever track these down on the internet it is worth it for the cheesy acting alone!

Chestnuts roasted by gl2899 @ 11/25/2003 12:16 PM

Man, I thought I imagined that peanut butter. If there’s one thing this site is good for, it’s showing you that you’re not actually insane.

Chestnuts roasted by Shawn @ 11/25/2003 12:34 PM

Again, you guys in the states get all the fun stuff. The funnest peanut butter that I can remeber is the squerrel brand with the stupid peanut on top. Matt, take your time with the parades. As fun as they are, you don’t want to spoil us rotten.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 11/25/2003 12:56 PM

hey starwenn on a sorta related note what do u think of the new superman/batman comic miniseries?

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 11/25/2003 1:26 PM

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2003 at 1:55 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.