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11/17/2003: New Article: The G.I. Joe Train!

My friend Brian’s been asking me to do this one for years, so here it is: a review of the G.I. Joe Electric Train & Battle Set, by Tyco in 1983. Pretty cool, actually — you might assume this is one of the more generic military Joe toys, and it kind of is, but there’s still a little Cobra going on. Review includes a firsthand look and a download for the original commercial, so go. Go get jiggly with it. Go now.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 70 comments

first post… I think I actually had this thing.. but it doesn’t make sense since I was only one when it came out.

Ghosted by chad @ 11/17/2003 6:07 PM EST

They kept this in the stores for years after it initially came out, so you very well may have owned it. Although there was also another GI Joe train set, so you could have owned that instead. Or maybe you didn’t own either and you’re just thinking about the train from Silver Spoons.

Ghosted by Brian Jacks @ 11/17/2003 6:16 PM EST

Crashing through the sky comes a fearfull cry cobra, COBRA!

Ghosted by Scourge @ 11/17/2003 6:44 PM EST

Did anybody here ever have the Space Vehicle Launch Complex? That thing came in a box the size of a washing machine crate.

Ghosted by Hamburger Man @ 11/17/2003 6:54 PM EST

I’m fourth :)
I’m special :)

Has there ever been an X-E group outing? We should have a convention and all watch shitty 80’s movies and play with toys :)

Ghosted by *Applesauce* @ 11/17/2003 7:15 PM EST

Applesauce – if by fourth you mean fifth, then yes, you are. :)

Ghosted by Paul @ 11/17/2003 7:33 PM EST

These ol’ blogs are filled with good folk that are good at figuring out what stuff is. So, some one help me out. I got this blue cube with jiggly eyes that turns into an elephant. It’s by Tomy and its from the 80’s. Any clue Any one?

Ghosted by kennef @ 11/17/2003 9:11 PM EST

I don’t care for Will Smith’s songs.

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 11/17/2003 9:23 PM EST

Just picture Storm Shadow saying "Choo Choo" there…
I mean, really go into your mind and have the voice artist of Storm Shadow say "Choo Choo"

Friggin’ hilarious!

Ghosted by AlphaCentaurian @ 11/17/2003 9:29 PM EST

I’m sure Will Smith and all of his fans along with all his money plus his not so bad lookin wife are all crying together becuase some kid who loves pikachu doesn’t care about Will Smith’s song.

Ghosted by karl byotch @ 11/17/2003 9:36 PM EST

"Did Destro know?" Ha! Of course he did. And me did too. I received it Christmas ‘84, have the red-eyed, crazy haired, pajama bottoms only pictures to prove it too. I remember the track being so metal. Not like "rock out." More like, "eh, not a bad build." I grew up to be Kansas City Southern’s first laser-rifle totin’ conductor. Toot, toot! Ya’ll stop it with that there grafitti artin’ now! Toot, toot!

Ghosted by the Unstoppable @ 11/17/2003 10:52 PM EST

I keep farting, my pc room reeks, freakin spin doctors are on the radio. Yet my heart bleeds for the GI JOE electric trainset…

Ghosted by spazzamatic @ 11/18/2003 12:24 PM EST

I want to give everybody a big ol heads up

ABC is going to show A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on Sunday at 7 pm. Everybody should watch, and bask in the glory of toast…. TOAST!

Ghosted by Tony @ 11/18/2003 12:33 PM EST

G.I. Joe was never on my top list of cartoons to watch back in the 80’s. I was an Astroboy fan, meself. A whole nother breed. As for the train set, I had a friend that owned it, and I just chewed on a lot of the Cobra clan. Yeah, so I wasn’t THAT old, but that’s beside the point. Team Cobra tastes delicious in the hands of a 4 year old. Fare thee well!

Ghosted by Armagideon Time @ 11/18/2003 1:00 AM EST

Hey man, love the site

I’m wondering, will you be putting out any more reviews of Macy’s parades? I LOVED the 1984 one.

thanks a million

Brian A. Henegar

Ghosted by Brian Henegar @ 11/18/2003 1:53 AM EST

Damn….My parents never let me have GI Joe…though ofcourse i was 2 when this came out.
I did have a train set that i blew up with m-80s…though it was in my Gomez Addams phase.

Ghosted by Bfett @ 11/18/2003 3:01 AM EST

After reading about the greatness of this set, I can only wonder about its Cybertronian counterpart. Yes, they had a Transformers train set, too, but its a lot rarer than the Joe trains from what I hear. Still, if you ever manage to get your hands on it, you ought to have the two trains fight…somehow.

Ghosted by Moai Ou @ 11/18/2003 3:18 AM EST

twenty-or-so years later, you actually opened the darned thing…..
an idiot collector would’ve paid more than double the original cost…..
and that’s an "idiot" collector….
you’ve got a great piece there……..
probably worth a pretty penny…..
ugly pennies need not apply

Ghosted by oneless @ 11/18/2003 3:29 AM EST

I almost forgot about those parachutes. After the string pulled out of the circle tabs I did the plastic shopping bag thing. That sucked too.

I chucked the crusty plastic toys and used stompers. The military ones. Whatever hapened to those.

Ghosted by savemejebus @ 11/18/2003 3:29 AM EST

damn, after reading the comments from the other people commenting (comment, comment…..you get the idea………)
i feel old……
but hey, i collect 8tracks (ever heard of those, young’uns?) so old is the way i should feel :)
i remember the G.I.Joe that was a 12" tall DOLL……for boys, even…….
boys with dolls, but they were war dolls :)

Ghosted by oneless @ 11/18/2003 3:36 AM EST

Hmm… that shot of the kid adjusting the little soldier with the camera medium close-up and at chest-level on the table is *very* reminiscent of a *very* similar shot of Anthony (Luke Wilson) adjusting the toy soldier during the "not-quite-as-daring-as-you-might-have-thought" burglary scene in the 1996 film Bottle Rocket. Gee, you don’t think Wes Anderson could possibly have this commercial on tape, do you? Naaahhhhhh… (Lamest rip-off conspiracy theory ever.)

Also, I’m pretty sure that the device which reduces the current is called, and if I’m correct, you’ll be kicking yourself for not remembering this, a "transformer".

For the benefit of those of us Canadians here, how big is a box of Mr. Bubble? I remember my mother using Mr. Bubble on me as a kid, but it was the bottled kind.

(If anyone cares, now I have a crappy photoblog.)

Ghosted by Steve Brandon @ 11/18/2003 3:47 AM EST

Hah. Lizard. Awesome.

Ghosted by Evin @ 11/18/2003 3:50 AM EST

That set is pretty massive but nothing beats the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier. This thing could hold like 5 or 6 deluxe jets. Now that’s honking big.

Ghosted by BillyBadAss @ 11/18/2003 9:21 AM EST

i’m in school right now third period and i’m bored. school is very boring.great commercial

Ghosted by Romo @ 11/18/2003 9:37 AM EST

was anyone else amused at the fact that they put in BIG letters across the train, SPECIAL FORCES… so much for those sneak attacks. Also it’s no wonder Cobra and troops were so mean when even their parachutes proudly label them as the enemy, they can’t exactly shake that stigma!

Ghosted by saint matthew @ 11/18/2003 10:16 AM EST

Never got the train. Our parents had this strange idea that all our toys ended up broken. Every time I see the old Joes I get nostalgic. Unless I see that sailor or the paramedic who wore red. Then I feel depressed because I had those guys and they sucked. Anyone ever notice how fast the crotch of a G.I. Joe guy broke off? Then their legs got all wobbly and all they were good for was doing some sort of insane dance or taking apart to play Dr. Frankenstien with other Joes…somewhere in this house there is still some very mixed up toys.

Ghosted by Killer Duck @ 11/18/2003 10:23 AM EST

I’m with Applesauce. Everybody drop by this weekend. We can re O-ring my Gijoes. Bring your Stompers too.

Ghosted by klatubaradanikto @ 11/18/2003 10:45 AM EST

I had this. It sucked because it was too small for my regular GI Joes. Plus I was like 8 or somesuch and was into like figuring out how things work and i took the train apart and burned out the engine.

Ghosted by fR0 @ 11/18/2003 12:01 PM EST

This thing kicked ass back in the day… great article.

Ghosted by PWalk @ 11/18/2003 12:15 PM EST

did anyone have the GI JOE aircraft carrier? that thing took up my friends entire room!

Ghosted by Mimik! @ 11/18/2003 12:23 PM EST

Photog…*gasp* Please!

Ghosted by Gillespee @ 11/18/2003 12:33 PM EST

Setting up that parachute shot must had been a bitch.

Ghosted by Aconite @ 11/18/2003 1:23 PM EST

I had this set back when I was a kid but the problem was my man-at-arms figure kept trying to be a homo, I mean hobo and train hopped without paying fare. It’s ok though, slimer always promptly kicked him off and he sought refuge in my lil sisters malibu barbie mansion which I had converted into modern day (so to speak) hoovervilles. That damn man-at-arms and his hijinks.

Ghosted by kingofswing @ 11/18/2003 1:54 PM EST

Brian: Hang out. Matt’s plan is to do at least 2 more parade reviews for ‘86 and ‘89. He MAY do ‘85, as well.

Ghosted by Scott @ 11/18/2003 2:12 PM EST

I was eight when it came out, and I got it for christmas. It rocked. My grandfather got me a big piece of plywood so I could nail it down. I loved that set. The parachutes sucked though. Damn things never worked. Many a good Joe lost his life on that track. (I was always into Cobra more than G. I. Joe)

Ghosted by Remember When @ 11/18/2003 2:38 PM EST

AWESOME ARTICLE! I had this, and it’s still in my parent’s basement — (I found photos of me playing with it the other day, coincidently).

Ghosted by Tim G. @ 11/18/2003 3:03 PM EST

Oh yeah Oneless, I had the 12" Joes as well ( with kung fu grip ). Unfortunately they all died in a tragic fire. Somehow they all ended up in a S.W.A.T. van filled with firecrackers and soaked with gasoline. I can still see them rolling down a hill ablaze and exploding.

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/18/2003 3:27 PM EST

I had the Transformer train set… might still have it somewhere.. and it had a lot cooler cars, but not as much extraneous stuff if I recall. This Joe set looks like it came with a lot of stuff… wonder how much it goes for on Ebay.

Ghosted by Van Hammersly @ 11/18/2003 4:10 PM EST

Hey Matt, did you stop doing top 11 articles for UGO? Haven’t seen any mentioned in the blog lately.

Ghosted by Park @ 11/18/2003 8:35 PM EST

Doesn’t that kid’s weird looking dad look like the smoking man from x files?

Ghosted by Bitner-Boy @ 11/18/2003 9:08 PM EST

You’ve dredged up horrible memories for me Matt. I used to have that train set and many G.I. Joes but as a kid, they were all sent to the Philippines by my parents for the "needy" children. It hurt me then as a kid and it still hurts me as a young man today WAAAHHH!!!

Ghosted by polarbear @ 11/19/2003 1:10 AM EST

Had the Train. Broke it. Now miss it! Thanks to Matt. I blocked its mighty memory out of my head. I blocked all memories of putting blocks under its mighty tracks to make it try and climb up a hill it was not ment to climb. That poor train. The tiny soldiers ( and I do mean tiny. Like 1/4 the size of regular plastice generic soldiers) would watch and cry.
It finally broke when I slammed my Knight Rider KITT (talking) car into the Engineer car and fried it out.
Man! I broke more toys that way.
Anyhoo thanks for bringing up memories I tried to forget. Again. Jerk.

Ghosted by tcgarak @ 11/19/2003 2:33 AM EST

i’ve got a box of electric trains in my closet. I used them as a kid but I have no room to set them up. I have tons of tracks and a bunch of cars. Probably enough track to go through my house. it would be nice to set that all up again…

Ghosted by heeloyd @ 11/19/2003 4:52 AM EST

GI Joe is a great series I have a lot of comics and some of the toys too

Ghosted by Romo @ 11/19/2003 9:19 AM EST

The 1985 GI Joe USS Flagg aircraft carrier.
At 7 and a half feet long from bow to stern, and 2 and a half feet wide, it was the largest GIJoe toy ever made, and will probably never be made again, due to the sheer cost it would entail for Hasbro and the consumer.

some pics (the fighter on the deck is the Skystriker X-14, another rare and much loved 1983 GIJoe toy)

http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20037.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20039.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20040.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20041.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20042.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20044.jpg
http://www.themassdevice.com/octvehs%20045.jpg

Ghosted by FFN @ 11/19/2003 10:06 AM EST

I know for a fact I had this one. It kicks ass. Anyway, I’m down for an X-E BBQ. Let’s do it! photog art?

Ghosted by Nemesis Frog @ 11/19/2003 11:48 AM EST

I assume you no longer have it, too bad, it gets great money on Ebay, even in busted-ass condition.

Here’s how a Mint in sealed box one is doing
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2468&item=3155759456

Ghosted by FFN @ 11/19/2003 12:00 PM EST

Man that brings back memories. I had this when it first came out. For months the dining room table hosted my epic battles as Cobra tried to derail a train that went in circles. Tehy never won – poor planning.

Ghosted by Cass @ 11/19/2003 12:01 PM EST

I had the Aircraft carrier and the space shuttle complex. Sold them in a garage sale. :( Yes, they were huge, and they came in huge boxes that–to my childish eys–seemed to tower over you and threaten to crush you with their might.

Never had the train, though. I do remember having an HO train, shaped like a modern bullet train, that ran up the wall. It was orange, and came with little paper tunnels. Was probably about 1988 or 1989. Anyone remember this?

Anyway, if anybody wants to have a train at the approximate scale of the 3 3/4 figures, take a look at G scale Model railroad equipment. Examples: mylargescale.com; http://www.lgboa.com.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/19/2003 12:44 PM EST

HOLY CRAP!!! That aircraft carrier is freakin huge!!!! I would be scared of it as a kid!! I’d probably be scared of it now too! I wish I would have saved my action figures, I had tons of ninja turtles, gi joe, other figures from movies (i.e. Hook, Batman, etc..) so many memories, I still have my lego collection and my hot wheels though.

Ghosted by heeloyd @ 11/19/2003 4:10 PM EST

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