Jeezy Creezy, parade mania. It's been a good day. Since I know time's not going to be on my side with the amount of junk left to do in November, we're trying to be a bit more proactive with what's coming up for the Christmas season...
Muahahah. What's in there? You'll see. If you liked X-E's advent calendar last year, you'll love what's on deck for Version II. Doesn't even compare. No, it's not the other Playmobil one -- that's part of it, but it's just the bonus icing on the big Christmas cake being put together. Suffice to say, long before we even hit the Halloween season, I've been collecting every last bit of holiday cheer worth seeing, and though it's taken much temptation to hold off on showing you the goods, it'll be worth it. Christmas is by far my favorite time of year, always has been, and I'm very much looking forward to surrounding myself with it 24 hours a day for a solid month of Santa-themed insanity.
Mare Winningham.
Course, one of the reasons it's so hard to wait November out is because of what we're already seeing in the stores. Rudolph's nose was shining in the material world as early as mid-October, but by now, it's everywhere you look. Here's some quick pics we took at Toys 'R' Us this afternoon -- the place is literally a Christmas town, engulfed in red and green M&Ms and enough screaming children to make any guy chop off his dick to avoid ever having to go through the torment of being a parent in December...
(click to enlarge)
Check out that Hulk stocking in the first pic -- awesome. The running themes alternated between traditional and the ongoing 80s revival, with Strawberry Shortcake and those filthy Care Bears all over the Christmas aisles. While we're on the topic: there's plenty of people who seem to hate that all of this 80s stuff has come back into the spotlight; sort of a "well, this was mine and it shouldn't be yours" type of thing. I never really understood that. It's kind of the same deal when people stop liking a band after it gets popular -- doesn't that paint the person's passions as for all the wrong reasons more than anything else? I dunno, it's just something I see pop up every so often, and it always irks me. I'd rather see the things I love thrive and survive rather than be pigeonholed into a tiny, core base of fans until they die off. Plus, I like being able to buy my nieces and nephews the same kinda shit my sisters and I played with when we were kids. Especially when I decide to keep the shit for myself.
Sorry, we drank a lot of coffee tonight. Anyway, I think I had a point with all of this, but it got muddled somewhere in-between the caffeine, Hulk stockings, and the fact that I always have to stop when Nick@Nite opens a new Cosby episode to hear Bill say "this is the best elevator music I've ever heard." It's just one of my little things. The point was, I got a yeti tonight. A Christmas yeti. A very familiar Christmas yeti, with feet as white as snow.
Humble Fuggin Bumble. The new (well, sorta new) Rudolph toys are great -- actually, they've given the same treatment to the Charlie Brown with an assortment of X-Mas figures, and they're also terrific. Starring reindeers notwithstanding, Bumble's always been my favorite part of the show. I've got a thing for abominable snowmen; another throwback from all those nights spent watching "Unsolved Mysteries" reruns. There's roughly 80,000 different dolls and figures to represent Bumble, ranging from tiny ornaments to gigantic plushies the size of your local Wal-Mart. I must say -- this one is easily the best of the lot. It's big enough to be impressed with, yet small enough to hide if anyone important comes over and you don't want a bunch of toys out in the open. Humble Bumble retails for 9.99, and if you're not down with yetis, there's even a similarly scaled "King Moonracer" figure -- you know, that freaky Misfit Toy lion? Yeah.
Look at that thing! Not only do you get the albino sasquatch, but also the "Yukon Cornelius" figure, complete with Bumble's slave leash. The monster is well articulated, and even his mouth opens wide enough to fit Yukon's head inside. They even included a bonus holiday clip-on figure: another Bumble, albeit smaller, which I've decided to consider the larger Bumble's conscience. It helps me understand why he just doesn't eat Yukon and roam free again.
Anyway, I've gotta take care of the Delaware articles and then head back to something I was preparing in between putting together the first parade review, so there should be a new article up tomorrow. Something robotic.
Posted by Matt on 11/11/2003. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
Actually, the biggest problem I’m having right now is figuring out just how to cram all the stuff I’ve already bought for X-Mas reviewing on the Advent Calendar II. This doesn’t even factor any movies or toons or other stuff I wanted to hit — it’s just the shit I’ve collected in a big box. Gonna be a busy ass month, but I’ve always wanted to cover a lot of the stuff we’ll be looking at. I’m looking forward to it.
Any one else like watching ABC Family in December just to laugh at them for getting all the Rudolph and Frosty clones but not Rusdoph or Frosty? Stupid ABC. Stupid "Twas the Night Before Christmas". Stupid xmas. Taking Halloween’s glory. BAD xmas, BAD!!!