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New Article: Texas Chain Saw Massacre REVOOEDDD.

I couldn't help myself. We spent part of Halloween night watching the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," and I was touched, so here's a really fucking long review. It's more of a recap, actually -- I wrote it keeping those who've never seen the film in mind, because I'd assume those unlucky souls might be a bit curious as to what the movie was actually like. Well, this review should explain it. Every last bit of it. Tons of pics, too. And now it's 6:30 in the morning. Shoot me, shoot me please. Writing the review was juxtaposed with us painting the apartment a deep crimson, and considering which film I was writing about, it all seemed to blend together appropriately. Hope you enjoy -- if you don't, please don't tell me. I spent way too long on it. You'll crushy me spirits ye will. Okay, so Halloween is over, finally, and if you missed it, the Halloween Countdown for 2003 has been completed. Kinda late to mention now, but I did two Halloween-themed articles for UGO last week -- a quick look at some cartoons, and eleven of my picks for great Halloween flicks. Get the season out of your system -- it's November godddaaammmit. Speaking of which, you'll like what's coming up this week on the site. I know I do.

Posted by Matt on 11/02/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 85 comments

Yeah,I guess the Ring is better than..say…Ghost Ship, or Feardotcom, or Dreamcatcher.But it’s still a F’in horrid idea for a movie.A video that kills you? Get back to the Blockbuster Racks.

Chestnuts roasted by Icymatt @ 11/13/2003 1:51 PM

Just wanted to toss some info. There’s another horror J-flick called, "Audition." It may not be the most scariest thing. But, when ever I talk about the film with people that have seen it, they tell me that they got messed up in the head. I even have friends that hate the film because it disgusts them. I think the movie is dope; it starts with the feel of a romantic comedy, then it severely takes a walk on the darkside. If you are looking to get disturbed, check the film out.

Chestnuts roasted by poison @ 11/30/2003 3:05 PM

Just wanted to toss some info. There’s another horror J-flick called, "Audition." It may not be the most scariest thing. But, when ever I talk about the film with people that have seen it, they tell me that they got messed up in the head. I even have friends that hate the film because it disgusts them. I think the movie is dope; it starts with the feel of a romantic comedy, then it severely takes a walk on the darkside. If you are looking to get disturbed, check the film out.

Chestnuts roasted by poison @ 11/30/2003 3:05 PM

This also happened in Wisconsin, not Texas

Chestnuts roasted by asdf @ 04/10/2004 3:03 AM

nice

Chestnuts roasted by jake @ 04/10/2004 8:33 PM

This could have been scarier,like the movie!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Funky Monky @ 04/10/2004 8:36 PM

I really liked The Texas Chainsaw massacre. I saw the remake first, and I thought "Eh, another stalk slasher." Well, that, and "how the hell do you chase someone down with a running chainsaw and only one arm???". Some days afterwards, I got the original out. It made the remake look neutered, no balls whatsoever. It was so bizzare and otherworldly. A+ for the original, C for the re-make. I also liked the freaky hitchhiker dude.

Chestnuts roasted by EhhEff @ 06/17/2004 4:43 PM

Great article. You wrote it well. But, ironically, it makes me not want to see it rather than see it (like you intended).

:D

Chestnuts roasted by Erik @ 06/19/2004 8:10 PM

i saw the remake first and thought it was good, until i saw the original, and decided the remake sucked for multiple reasons. for me the worst thing about the remake was the fact that i wanted all the teens to die…i’m not sadistic or anything, i don’t think, just i didn’t feel an ounce of pity for them. they seemed so much less innocent than the original teens, espcially the couple getting it on in the back of the van at the very beginning, i mean WHAT THE HELL?? anyway, by the time people started losing limbs in the remake i was cheering Leather Face on. when i saw the original i was drowning in sympathy for all the kids…even the retard. plus the original is so gritty (even though it’s probably because it’s old) and, like you mentioned in the review, there’s lack of reason for the events, the fact that its just happening, i love that. it’s just awesome. great review/recap, i can’t even avoid this site anymore when i’m online, keep it up!!!

Chestnuts roasted by fightclubjack @ 10/01/2004 5:23 PM

i love the texas chainsaw massacre so much this movie rules c-ya

Chestnuts roasted by Tess @ 03/27/2007 2:36 PM

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