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10/28/2003: New Article: “Tales From The Darkside: The Movie!”

Here’s my review of Tales From The Darkside: The Movie. I absolutely love this flick. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and head to the video store. Don’t wait for it to pop up on cable — it’s worth the rental. Hell, it’s worth buying. Halloween’s approaching, and this movie perfectly fits the mood. Meanwhile, the Countdown’s been updated with something you’re probably more interested in checking out than a movie review: The Battle of the Slashers! Freddy, Jason and Leatherface have a quick debate over which of ‘em is the top icon.

I think we’ve got time for one more article between now and Halloween, so I’ll try to make it as crazy ass seasonal as possible. I hope everyone got a kick out of the Countdown this year — judging from my stats, people were checking it out regularly enough to warrant another go-around next year. For what it’s worth, I had loads of fun with it. For the past month and a half, practically everywhere I went had the side agenda of searching for more Halloween crap, and it’s not like it wouldn’t have been like that normally, but now I had a reason. Yay. Wish I could’ve gotten a few more horror movie reviews up this month, but oh well — I’ll do those on any month, and the stuff on that Countdown was only good for now, obviously. Anyway, it’s been a pretty good month for the site, but you might be wondering what’s coming up now that Halloween is almost here. Oh boy. Next month is gonna be killer. Honestly, what’s lined up in terms of articles are topics I’m totally salivating over, and if I thought I was busy this month, November’s gonna be a real test. Suffice to say, I don’t think that anyone who regularly reads this site is going to be anything short of mega excited when the ball gets rolling, so stay tuned.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 76 comments

i never got first post before…im a wad

Ghosted by Scourge @ 10/28/2003 6:43 PM EST

I’ve never been so close to the first post before. Do I get some sort of consolation prize?

Ghosted by sharkie @ 10/28/2003 6:55 PM EST

Yea! The third comment is the best one!

Ghosted by Garrison @ 10/28/2003 6:59 PM EST

hehe ive gotten 1st post 2ce BOOH YA.
cool review. did you get those minnis from the same guys who sent you the super heros?

Ghosted by Jared @ 10/28/2003 7:05 PM EST

I likeed to watch Tales From the Darkside the tv show. My fave ones were the one with seth green in it who sees a witch but his dad ingores hima and it eats his dad. And the one about an old man who hates Halloween and then his watch brakes and he has to relive the same hour over and over and then some goblin get him or something. Rapture is a great song, but don’t break my heart of glass

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 10/28/2003 7:08 PM EST

my Pierroth Jr. luchador buddy will kick all them tiny guys around!

Ghosted by Was a Man @ 10/28/2003 7:08 PM EST

Matt : The way you talk about the articles to come is making me too damn giddy! I’m serious…it’s scary. I was gettin’ all antsy, because Halloween is almost here and then it’s over and it’s just stupid old November…but now you’ve promised even more good times. Thanks for the medicare

Ghosted by Applesauce @ 10/28/2003 7:29 PM EST

Saw this when it first came out. Back then, I was watching a lot of gore. So I found the gross bits quite hilarious! Plus, now that I’m more edukated, the name-dropping on this here movie just makes me wanna see it 10,000 times over. Done!

Ghosted by Armagideon Time @ 10/28/2003 7:49 PM EST

hooray for more countdown next year! it made me even more excited for halloween than usual. thanks matt.

Ghosted by candice @ 10/28/2003 8:53 PM EST

Haven’t seen this one, but I am a happy owner of "Creepshow". The only movie where you get to hear Stephen King say "Meteor Shit!"

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 10/28/2003 9:20 PM EST

hmmm i was just going over the title in my head "Tales from the DARKside" i wonder what a certain Theodore R. Long thinks of the title?

Ghosted by Scourge @ 10/28/2003 10:53 PM EST

If I remember correctly, wasn’t Buster Poindexter in a few other movies. I recall seeing him in some really bad comedy movie. Am I hallucinating?

On a similiar note, has anybody been watching "I love the 80’s Strikes Back" on VH1?? Is it just me, or do most of the people they interview for those segments not REALLY remember that stuff???

Ghosted by shane! @ 10/28/2003 11:14 PM EST

1.) I got those figures for Christmas this year from my girlfriend and I love them so much.

2.) I rented the movie and it is as good as you say.

3.) If Buster Poindexter is really in other movies…I have to see them out of sheer curiosity…someone find out this vital information

Ghosted by Heres The Guy @ 10/29/2003 12:39 PM EST

Here’s the guy:
"If Buster Poindexter is really in other movies…I have to see them out of sheer curiosity…someone find out this vital information"

Right off the bat, and right in time for December (at least in the stores) – he plays the "Ghost of Christmas past" in "Scrooged" with Bill Murray…

Ghosted by Scott C @ 10/29/2003 12:45 PM EST

Hell yeah, he was the cabbie in Scrooged. What floor?

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/29/2003 12:46 PM EST

Wasn’t Matt supposed to be on I love 80s Strikes Back? We should expect him to because the man is a god above everyone with likes of Liza and Jane.

Ghosted by Z @ 10/29/2003 12:47 PM EST

The show I was talking to VH-1 about wasn’t their ILT80s series, but rather another that I won’t mention because I haven’t seen it advertised anywhere yet. Either way, looks like a bust. They switched gears and only wanted celebs for the panels, which honestly makes sense from where I sit. Hopefully I’ll have something going with ‘em in the future though; they were all very nice people who were way into their projects.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/29/2003 12:56 PM EST

I know this is off-topic, but has this site ever done a tribute to the origanal GameBoy? I found mine in a drawer the other day, and so many memories came flooding back. I’d be cool to see a picture of the box it came in – When I saw that thing in the glass case at Toys’R'Us way back when, I nearly popped my newly formed nards right off.

Ghosted by Gordo @ 10/29/2003 1:14 AM EST

I think I’ve written about it in passing (it was one of my most wanted gifts when it came out). Funny you should mention it, because they’ll be more on it next month. (though, only on the system as it originally arrived, because as with most video game stuff, I lost interest pretty quick)

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/29/2003 1:16 AM EST

Gameboy was truly a piece of high technology, something so beautiful about seeing pixels of lands. The gay Turboexpress system was the worst thing seen in my eyes.

Ghosted by The Snoo @ 10/29/2003 1:18 AM EST

I remember getting the Game Gear within the first year of its arrival, and on the second day of owning it, this pile of sawdust fell on top of the thing, and a few select grains somehow managed to get under the "protective" screen an onto the legimate screen that couldn’t be cleaned. Awful. Sonic always had a piece of wood over his head.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/29/2003 1:21 AM EST

I want to see a review of the movie Big. C’mon. Tom Hanks. The keyboard sequence. And the REALLY BIG TRAMPOLINE in the even LARGER apartment.

Ghosted by Aeire @ 10/29/2003 1:28 AM EST

That movie truly is great. I saw it when I was living in this apartment where you could rent videos from the office. I was horror starved and saw it out of desperation. It was like the diamond in the rough. Didn’t Debbie Harry fall on a bed of spikes or something? I have to say that the Julliane Moore flower stuffing scene really didn’t sit well with me. I don’t mind seeing no-names get axed in Friday movies, but Julliane Moore is to me like the stepmother every kid wishes he had, one so super cool and sexy. Nah, nothing Oedipal about that. The gargoyle gore effects are probably the best, I’d say. That transformation is really great effects work even by today’s standards where we see too much digital work.
I know of one other Buster Pointdexter movie. Freejack with Emilo Estevez. Buster was one of the only things I remember about that movie. Hey it was a double feature with Suburban Commando–Hulk Hogan as an alien warrior is always more memorable.

Ghosted by inkmage @ 10/29/2003 3:01 AM EST

Holy crap, I’m seeing Martha Stewart in a black Elvira wig and getup or something. No I’m not altering the facts one bit.

Ghosted by inkmage @ 10/29/2003 3:03 AM EST

I never go anywhere without my SP. Had Gameboy, jam got on it, dog got to it, The End. Got Gameboy Color. GBA came out, so I sold it. The End. GBA SP came out, so I sold the plain GBA. The End. I still play Mario Land on my SP. I could talk about this for hours, but I won’t.

Ghosted by Armagideon Time @ 10/29/2003 3:23 AM EST

To Heres The Guy: Buster Pointdexter starred in a movie based on the television series, "Car 54, Where Are You?" My god that movie was horrible. Unfunny, no onscreen chemistry, and you get to hear Buster Pointdexter sing. My ears are still bleeding!!! What’s funny the movie also stars "Grandpa" Al Lewis, Nipsy Russell, Fran Drescher, John C. McGinley, and the woman with the big head Rosie O’Donnell. Oh! Also one of the Baldwin brothers star in this crap fest as the villian.

Ghosted by Evil Monkey @ 10/29/2003 4:17 AM EST

I’d just like to say, this movie rocks. I want to see the Creepshow one where the kids are stuck out on the raft…that one rocks, specially the end

Ghosted by Kiften @ 10/29/2003 6:12 AM EST

Halloween stuff was great fun, but honestly, X-E was MADE for Christmas….totally jazzed for the next couple months…like Santa on a speedball.

Ghosted by GLS @ 10/29/2003 8:42 AM EST

man buster get the biggest hairball ever awsome ok next month sounds like its gonna rock I wanna see somthing about barnyard comandos i know they were dumb but i loved them DAMNIT also mabye some fraggle rock and how about review that old new live action turtles show with the chick turtle A TURTLE WITH BOOBS WHAT!?!?!

Ghosted by AtomRenner @ 10/29/2003 9:05 AM EST

Dude, I LOVED your slasher story. You should seriously do one story like that a week. You’re hilarious when you write them

Ghosted by Jazzy @ 10/29/2003 10:12 AM EST

On a Ninja Turtles note:(Because everything on this site is subliminally about the Ninja Turtles.)

http://207.44.182.109/photo/1/showphoto.php?photo=7747&password=&sort=1&cat=893&page=6

The extreme joy I feel about there finally being a figure I’ve wanted since 1986 is muffled by the extreme rage that the Utroms no longer look like fluffy pink brains with cillia.

Honestly, I’ve never been one for horror movies. Which is odd how close I was born to Halloween.

Hey, has Matt ever done a Catseye review?

Ghosted by Regault @ 10/29/2003 11:59 AM EST

I actually saw tales in theaters when I was 12, but never paid. We paid and saw another movie, but snuck into tales after the 1st flick. I couldn’t tell you what the first movie was, but I vividly remember the gargoyle’s and the cat ingestion scene. Great flick, I gotta go rent it.

Ghosted by naturekid @ 10/29/2003 12:45 PM EST

Hardly seems fair that the only one he told was the one who told him. I mean, it didn’t really change things now did it? I know..
A Promise is a Promise.

Car 54 Theme song from memory at work.

"There’s a holdup in the Bronx
Brooklyn’s broken out in fights
There’s a traffic jam in Harlem
That’s backed up to Jackson Heights
There’s a mom who’s lost a child
Cruschev’s due at Idlewild
Car 54 where are you?"

I agree that a lot of the Remember the 70’s/Remember the 80’s people don’t look like they actually remember it well, more like they just saw it and are commenting on what they saw. However that Hispanic guy was swearing up and down that Cujo was a Doberman, so some of it is obviously from memory.

Ghosted by klatubradanikto @ 10/29/2003 12:55 PM EST

Micheal Ian Black from The State, Viva Varioty, and Wet Hot American Summer is the best on that show.

He is the best in every show really.

Ghosted by chad @ 10/29/2003 1:21 PM EST

i saw this movie with emilo estevez with buster poindexter in it a few months back called Freejack. I think you should review it Matt, it even has Mick Jagger in it. Emilio is this race car driver that gets stolen by mick jagger in the future using a time machine so some rich guy (played by Anthony Hopkins) can take over his body because hes really old and so he can do it with Rene Russo. I think Buster plays the part of Time Travel Technician #1

Ghosted by manatarms is cool @ 10/29/2003 1:35 PM EST

thanks for the ride lady!!

maaaan hat scared the shite out of me

Ghosted by 'tin man @ 10/29/2003 1:51 PM EST

Does Buster Poindexter play Cooper in that Expedia.com commercial? You know, "How much do you make? Not nearly as much as I do. Ha!"

Oh, and I’ve had this theme song stuck in my head for months, and I wanted to bring the cartoon up here to see if anyone else remembered it.

"When in Rome you do like the Romans do
You play what the Romans play
Together!
Jump in your chariot
Come this way!
We’re going to
Meet the Roman Holida-AYS!

You’ll love Gus, and Laurie
Pricotia, too
And big brother Hack Holiday!
And Brutus, the lion, the family pet
He’ll eat you out of house and home, as quick as that!"

Anyone?
Anyone?

Buehler?

Ghosted by trajeal @ 10/29/2003 1:59 PM EST

Neat movie review, and I’m defanetly looking forward to more X-E goodness next month.

I thought "I Love The 80s Strikes Back" was pretty lame overall. I liked the first installment better, except for the fact that the "celebs" pretty much dumped all over everything, making me wonder why they didn’t call the show "I Loathe The 80s". Gilbert Godfried’s "What the @#&!" moments were pretty funny. Speaking of Gilbert, Problem Child 1 & 2 are being released on DVD in March, both digitally remastered in anamorphic widescreen. This is great news.

P.S. I did it for kicks

Ghosted by The Bow Tie Killer @ 10/29/2003 2:09 PM EST

no one cares you got the first post, now say something else or go to hell

Ghosted by hjdt hdkd @ 10/29/2003 2:50 PM EST

It’s tradition to make a comment about being the first post. If someone didn’t make it, it would be blasphemy! Or at the very least, anti-traditional. So let’s just all get along, roll our eyes a bit, and smile a little smile for those who get to post first, ok? Unless…secretly, you’re jealous. Then it’s ok to bitch. Hee hee.

Ghosted by purplegirl247 @ 10/29/2003 2:55 PM EST

This Halloween needs an X-E Army of Darkness review. We’ve been waiting years..

Ghosted by Zoobtro @ 10/29/2003 3:01 PM EST

i exclaimed in the first post that i was a wad for saying so and furthermore the 11th comment was also mine therefore i had said something else….but almost always someone says "first post" so i wanted to do it also even though i said myself that it was pretty lame so next time read!

Ghosted by scourge @ 10/29/2003 3:18 PM EST

Matt, did you ever consider becoming a sitcom writer?

Ghosted by Jeff @ 10/29/2003 3:37 PM EST

To add further comment on the Martha Stewart dressed up for Halloween thing. She also was wearing cat’s eye contact lens’. I know no one cares. It just freaked me out. Now I’ll have nightmares about Martha Stewart floating at my window with cat’s eyes threatening to bake me cookies and cheat on her taxes. Not that I watch Martha Stewart, I was rewinding my copy of Titus Andronicus and didn’t bother to change the channel. Who would have thought Martha Stewart plays on 3am?

Ghosted by inkmage @ 10/29/2003 3:38 PM EST

Like purple girl said, it’s a tradition for the first post thing. If you’re gonna be a bitter stupid fuck then don’t bother posting. Seriously, get over it.

Ghosted by turkey's can't fly? @ 10/29/2003 4:46 PM EST

Matt, you’ve gotta do something for those photog guys. You created the monster after all.

Ghosted by turkey's can't fly? @ 10/29/2003 5:18 PM EST

I had the Gamegear & the Gameboy (the original green-screened one; not the fancy one that came later). And (just like with the Genesis and original NES) although the Sega system was ‘technically’ superior, it’s games sucked & were hard to find, whereas Mario Land ruled.

Ghosted by sharkie @ 10/29/2003 6:04 PM EST

My school is using the McDonald buckets to promote our BooMi ball (pronounced Boo Me, and its spelled BooMi b/c it’s sposored by the Botany/Microbiology Dept. [Bo/Mi]). OWU is so cool!

Ghosted by TOP1214 @ 10/29/2003 6:29 PM EST

Anyone else think the next Halloween countdown will start Nov. 1?

Ghosted by TOP1214 @ 10/29/2003 6:45 PM EST

Good. I’m not the only one who thinks "I Love the 80s Strikes Back" blows. Reason #1: Juliette Lewis is the most annoying person on the planet.

Here’s something X-E fans might find cool:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/80s_quiz.asp

Ghosted by sweet polly purebred @ 10/29/2003 7:59 PM EST

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