The X-Entertainment Blog

09/29/2003: New Article: Krang Goes Babysitting!

Ever wondered what would happen if Krang, the evil pink brain from Dimension X, was roped into babysitting half of the Marvel Universe? Click here to find out! When you’re done, do me a favor and pay a little visit to Play Along Toys, who were nice enough to send me some packages of the “Marvel MiniMates” figures, free of charge. Enjoy!

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 84 comments

BOO YAH! 1st post, now I have to go read da blog and see what I am commenting on…

Posted by spazzamatic @ 09/29/2003 3:18 PM EDT

yeah same as him damn matt updated wile i was on the site i wanted to be the first

Posted by Jared @ 09/29/2003 3:29 PM EDT

matt and his toys

Posted by Jared @ 09/29/2003 3:35 PM EDT

MAN! Matt, you are so delightfully evil.

Posted by denis @ 09/29/2003 3:41 PM EDT

those marvel things are awesome….i wonder are they gonna make some for the "ultimate" line of marvel comics?

Posted by Scourge @ 09/29/2003 3:46 PM EDT

Its about damn time daredevil walked into something. Hard. Heh, its just too bad Ben Affleck wasn’t in his suit this time around. Thatd be a two birds, one stone kinda thing.

Posted by Shave the Whales @ 09/29/2003 3:48 PM EDT

"Troubles my ease what that’s do you!"

What in God’s holy name is Jane saying!? It seems vibrant, truthful, almost beautiful - and, at the same time, totally incomprehensible. Krang bitterly begs one of you to translate.

Posted by Master H @ 09/29/2003 3:49 PM EDT

See: Rod Stewart. I’m so ashamed.

Posted by Helpful Translator @ 09/29/2003 3:51 PM EDT

Oh NO.
*NOW* I get it. Thanks, Translator! Except NO thanks at the same time - because, man, that stupid song’s going to be in my head all afternoon.
My heart is filled with gladness

Posted by Master H @ 09/29/2003 3:53 PM EDT

Matt, you set the bar a little higher for yourself today with DareDevil’s mishap.

You truly are a genius. Now, whats up with VH1?????

Posted by Draven @ 09/29/2003 4:08 PM EDT

Great story, the fact that you ended on "Krang: Let’s kill Old Daddy and fuck his wife." just makes it genius

Posted by Elliott @ 09/29/2003 4:16 PM EDT

I want Spielberg and Sam Raimi tied together at the wrist and knife fighting over the rights to this script. I would give the souls of the entire southern hemisphere to see this on the big screen.

Posted by The Podfather @ 09/29/2003 4:23 PM EDT

Generic whispering. Understand?

No, no I don’t. Not at all. Anyone care to explain it to me? I guess I’m a little slow.

Posted by Chaos Mage @ 09/29/2003 4:24 PM EDT

Time for me to do a classic off-topic comment without reading what the post’s about. Ah well. Haven’t been here in a while, but I just read my latest MSN Alert, and look who I should find as the last link:

http://www.msnbc.com/news/946039.asp

Just found that pretty cool, sometimes I feel X-E’s too far from the center of the internet to get noticed by a site like MSNBC.

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 09/29/2003 5:11 PM EDT

LOL…He got out of hand

Posted by AL @ 09/29/2003 5:13 PM EDT

That was awesome. "I’m blind, goddamit!" I think my new excuse for not doing things has been found.

Posted by Melanie @ 09/29/2003 5:24 PM EDT

I love this site, but these kinds of stories are my favorite. Too bad there are so few of them!!

I realize they probably take longer to come up with than your other stuff, but you should do them more often. I crack up when I read them, and I usually bookmark them so I can read them often.

Posted by Jazzy @ 09/29/2003 5:26 PM EDT

Kick-ass, Matt. Like Twisted Mego Theater, but better.

One note: "Jane" is more commonly known as "American Maid" from "The Tick." Which brings up the question…what happened to Betty?

Posted by Paul @ 09/29/2003 5:31 PM EDT

It’s read, it’s HILARIOUS. I love it when Matt does these. Krang’s ender is the best.

As for Betty… "She got out of hand".

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 09/29/2003 5:37 PM EDT

I prefere "a little misunderstanding better" than "he got out of control".

Posted by VigosCrazy @ 09/29/2003 5:47 PM EDT

Great skit. I love these.

If you all enjoy this type of thing, hop on over to Action Figure Adventures http://www.actionfigureadventures.net. Just click on my name in this post. There, you can find more action figure skits than you’ll know what to do with. We’re about to update with new material.

(Sorry if this is stepping on any boundries.)

Posted by G'Noose McJailbait @ 09/29/2003 6:21 PM EDT

I will never stop loveing you matt

Posted by random bob @ 09/29/2003 6:28 PM EDT

I’ll never stop misspelling either

Posted by random bob @ 09/29/2003 6:28 PM EDT

Matt, you rock!

Posted by Nemesis @ 09/29/2003 6:44 PM EDT

ACTION FIGURE ADVENTURES!

Hoorah!

I am appeased!

Posted by Evin @ 09/29/2003 6:59 PM EDT

I MUST HAVE the Lego Venom. I will go insane if I don’t.

..the company sending you those toys, good idea on their part methinks. o.o

Posted by Hollow @ 09/29/2003 7:47 PM EDT

I must have those chocolate bats!

Posted by pikachulover @ 09/29/2003 7:56 PM EDT

Krang = undisputed evil villian ever, besides megatron and unicron.

oh and you gotta love venom

Posted by Steven @ 09/29/2003 8:02 PM EDT

And no cameo from Moss Man Arm Skeletor? But I’m concerned for his safety after being tortured by Pee Wee’s Playhouse…

Posted by Onslaught Six @ 09/29/2003 8:03 PM EDT

more krang!

shameless.

Posted by The Fhoi Myore @ 09/29/2003 8:07 PM EDT

I gotta say, Matt. You are the king of action figure sketches. Actually, come to think of it, you’re pretty much the king of anything obscure or that happened to be a major part of my childhood.

But I do have one question. Why the Hell would Krang and Venom want to fuck…oh…wait a minute…it’s Krang and Venom we’re talking about here…never mind…

Posted by Nate @ 09/29/2003 8:32 PM EDT

"Ooof!!"

Pure genius, and poetic justice for those of us that actually paid money to see the movie (there’s a first date I’ll never forget).

Posted by Ben Affleck's burning career after Gigli. (gobble gobble) @ 09/29/2003 8:51 PM EDT

Perfection.

Easily, the funniest thing I have ever read.

Posted by Tessie @ 09/29/2003 9:05 PM EDT

Venom eats brains. His new dad is a brain.

No good can come of this.

Posted by Gavok @ 09/29/2003 9:39 PM EDT

Generic whispering. Understand?

No, no I don’t. Not at all. Anyone care to explain it to me? I guess I’m a little slow.

Posted by Chaos Mage @ 09/29/2003 04:24 PM EST

Tch I hate explaining things… but then, I hate not knowing stuff either.

It’s like in a cartoon, when a dude has an idea, and gathers his friends around and whispers his plan to them, and all you hear is pssspsssspssspssspssspsss… Hence, generic whispering.

Or am I barking up the entirely wrong dog?

Posted by Beatnik @ 09/29/2003 11:28 PM EDT

Great skit, Matt.

That Action Figure Adventures is pretty funny too. Looks like you might have some competition.

Posted by Ipsilon @ 09/30/2003 1:04 AM EDT

I always get a chuckle out of watching Matt and his crazy buddies’ adventures! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by Skelletor @ 09/30/2003 1:24 AM EDT

That was bruce banner

I hate myself

Posted by Flat @ 09/30/2003 1:42 AM EDT

Matt…you are my SEX GOD lol! Brillant as always

Posted by Katie @ 09/30/2003 1:59 AM EDT

Well, if people are shamelessly plugging their own action figure comics, I’ve never done anything like that myself, but my brother, John, back in the days when he was the news editor at the John Abbott College Bandersnatch, used to do this one called Gay G.I. Joe Theatre, though only a couple of them are online.

Posted by Steve Brandon @ 09/30/2003 3:19 AM EDT

Hahaha, god that was funny. I love this site.

Posted by Kevin T @ 09/30/2003 5:42 AM EDT

You know, showing this to people who have english as their second (or third) language has been amazing.

Posted by OhgodTheRats @ 09/30/2003 5:48 AM EDT

The best line in this is "I thought you said two, not 27!" and the reply? "Shit happens."
I know when I get married I’m gonna come home one day and that’s going to happen lol

Posted by Kiften @ 09/30/2003 5:55 AM EDT

Eeeeeexcellent drama. I’ll bet that Venom and Krang are just hurt little boys inside. Or something.

Anyway, I had yet another evening class with the Matt-doppelganger last night. I was sitting at a table with a fully-rendered, inked version of Optimus Prime graffitied on it (that’s what happens when artistic people get bored, I guess) and was studying the theories of William Riker (the political scientist, not the other one), but still couldn’t use it as a segue (’cause he was sitting on the other side of the auditorium. I love parentheses). Probably just as well; how do you really start a conversation with "You know, you look just like this guy with this website." and not end up with some sort of court injunction thingee against you?

Um. John Cleese is going to be on Will & Grace as Karen’s love interest. Silly English K-ni-ght. That’s all I got. Thank you. Goodnight.

Posted by Molten @ 09/30/2003 6:25 AM EDT

I read the site constantly and never really comment. But that was to fucking funny! I was wiping tears from my eyes.

Keep up the great work!

Posted by PWalk @ 09/30/2003 10:12 AM EDT

I just had to post and say that I own all the Marvel Minimates and they are totally awesome! I just got giddy when I saw an article featuring my favorite little toys.
Oh, and someone way up there asked if there were Ultimate Marvel Minimates, and the answer is yes. There are Ultimate X-Men. They be mad wicked.
For anyone who is curious, you can easily find these things at any comic shop.

Posted by Kodo @ 09/30/2003 10:58 AM EDT

That was hilarious Matt. Now I have to get some of those little Marvel legos.

Posted by J-Dog @ 09/30/2003 11:08 AM EDT

I thought that the ending statement really resonated, in light of the current political climate. It’s not pro-violence, rather shows us the effects.

Posted by Les Jordan @ 09/30/2003 12:06 PM EDT

HAHAHA
You rock!!!
If you’re ever in Canada I’ll hook you up with some free movie passes
Cheers!

Posted by Alison @ 09/30/2003 12:48 PM EDT

Just wanted to say the absolute best part of this little story was the daredevil walking into the corner.

Posted by Frantic @ 09/30/2003 1:54 PM EDT

Yer a fuckin’ genius Matt. I laughed my ass of when Elektra said she had cancer. Does that make me a bad man?

Posted by Sparky @ 09/30/2003 2:40 PM EDT

Those marvel things are called Minimates.
They have made Ultimate spiderman as well as the ultimate x-men.
They rock, i work for Art Asylum/Play Along

glad you enjoyed them Matt

Posted by R Hunter @ 09/30/2003 3:00 PM EDT

Thanks Beatnik!

I get it now, I just wasn’t reading carefully enough. I thought it said GENETIC whispering, but in reality it says GENERIC whispering. I guess I just wasn’t paying attention.

I am no longer confused, but I feel dumber. Thanks for pointing it out though. I will try to improve my reading skills so you don’t have to explain obvious stuff to me again.

Posted by Chaos Mage @ 09/30/2003 3:05 PM EDT

actually i should have been more specific…..The ultimates team itself…….i mean ultimate spiderman looks liek spiderman and i dnt care much for ultimate x-men there are already 40 million diff x men comics comming out every month anyway but thanks for noticing my comment

Posted by Scourge @ 09/30/2003 4:13 PM EDT

oh my ……spelling errors from me? that cant be good *looks outside for impending doomsday*

Posted by scourge @ 09/30/2003 4:14 PM EDT

Fuck Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Dubiel @ 09/30/2003 7:22 PM EDT

Is American Maid’s real name Jane? Did I miss that episode of The Tick? I just looked on a Tick website and they just listed her name as American Maid. I’ll do some more investigation on this (but I don’t know why I’m wasting my time). And maybe it’s just that I don’t know Marvel comics, but why does Dr. Octopus look like a girl? Was that some plot twist DC guys like myself aren’t privy to?

Posted by inkmage @ 09/30/2003 10:30 PM EDT

I think I want those minimate toys now … errr wait need money (Starts counting pennies)

Posted by Geek @ 09/30/2003 11:05 PM EDT

Krang

Posted by FireFly @ 09/30/2003 11:13 PM EDT

I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure Octy was all man. The figure, it seems, had feminine eyes, and with a high hair style, it resembled one, so Matt stuck that in there.

Also, the Daredevil running into a wall thing was the most pointless and hilarious thing ever.

Posted by Saf @ 10/01/2003 6:43 AM EDT

That was good. My favorite part, was when Venom got bored.

Posted by Thanos @ 10/01/2003 7:41 AM EDT

Oh. My. God.

I’ve loved X-E for about two years now, but THAT was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. The picture of Venom holding DD’s head on a stick saying, "He got out of line." is the fucking greatest thing EVER. I *have* to get that put on a t-shirt or something, yo.

Posted by Big Daddy Payne @ 10/01/2003 11:47 AM EDT

this is really great! haven’t commented before but this article will keep me laughing all night.

thx for this!
-keen

Posted by keen @ 10/01/2003 3:07 PM EDT

That’s the last time I let Krang borrow my body. He promised lots of pain before anyone died…But NOOOOO!!!! There wasn’t much pain at all, damn him!!! That’s ok, I’m not gonna demand my body back until after he’s done with the wife, TEE HEE HEE.

Posted by Crow Warrior @ 10/01/2003 3:48 PM EDT

Bang up job. You really put the particular traits of them figures to their use.

Posted by Terd @ 10/05/2003 12:10 PM EDT

Long time reader/First time poster.

I really enjoy this site, and I especially love the action figure stories. This latest one had me doubled over in laughter. I’d like to get some of these Marvel MiniMates, but I’ve only seen them at one place in my area, and the asking price ain’t worth it. They are cool-looking though, and it was a smart move for the company to actually give you free toys to plug on your site, Matt. Your Internet star is rising…

And the last time I checked, American Maid was never named Jane. I do recall another woman hero on the show called Jungle Janet. She was some big Amazon woman who worked in some team along side the likes of 4-Legged Man, Feral Boy, and Captain Musilage.

Posted by BS @ 10/05/2003 6:17 PM EDT

Wow, I’ll bet that this is the single funniest article Matt has ever posted. I’m amazed that his articles keep making me laugh after all these months.

Posted by Major Poo @ 10/06/2003 2:56 PM EDT

Funny shit man! MORE! MORE! MORE!!!

Posted by Belthazor @ 10/07/2003 8:40 PM EDT

I loved the story, but one question. Wasn’t that Bruce Banner, not Doctor Octopus?

Posted by Randito Bandito @ 10/09/2003 5:57 PM EDT

That’s Lobot playing the part of Krang’s body, iddn’t it?

Posted by Bawb @ 10/10/2003 4:15 PM EDT

Don’t make me fart…You won’t like me when I fart.

Posted by Gray Hulk @ 10/13/2003 2:12 AM EDT

Doc Ock swapped heads with Cancer chick.

Posted by mlsq42 @ 11/02/2003 1:10 AM EST

Great article especially about Venom treating all the other kids terrible. TMNT is one of the best cartoons, the old one not the new

Posted by Romper Stomper @ 11/13/2003 4:28 PM EST

Venom is awesome….damn spiderman getting out of line…..

Posted by Skater1929 @ 11/26/2003 1:00 AM EST

‘Krang, just try to make sure none of them die, okay?’

Knowing Krang, absolutely a set-up.

Loved it. There’s this whole underlying wittiness to it that’s interesting.

Torture through glass jars; that’s never been thought of before…

Last line - knockout.

Posted by Mika @ 01/06/2004 10:44 PM EST

Hey that post on msnbc about this site is how i found you Matt!
http://www.msnbc.com/news/946039.asp
And i’ve been following you ever since, religiously, 4-5 times a day, reading blogs…past reviews and articles….my eyes keep leaking (mostly because I have to hold in my laughter so the co-workers don’t get suspicious) and my work is suffering, but by god i go home with a smile on my face at night!

Thank you thank you thank you!

Posted by -Jen- @ 01/27/2004 4:50 PM EST

I thought Betty was Barney’s wife not the chick from the tick, so what the hell happened to Betty?

Posted by Liqu0rhead @ 01/30/2004 2:23 AM EST

SHE DEAD

Posted by Streetlight_Manifesto @ 02/10/2004 12:06 PM EST

They said there are twenty seven kids, but all I see are eight: Rhino, Doc Ock, Electra, Daredevil, Spidey, Venom, Hulk, and Hulk. Where are the remaining nineteen?

Posted by NES Boy @ 04/05/2004 7:29 PM EDT

Funniest. thing. ever.

Posted by Casey @ 04/21/2004 11:46 AM EDT

I laughed til I cried.
Make more!!!!!!!

Posted by Superstar Barbie @ 04/29/2004 12:11 PM EDT

i got the "sold American" thing!

Posted by soupershitler @ 05/21/2004 9:16 PM EDT

i think it is the next thing. maybe it will get as big as "happy campers"

Posted by isaac @ 05/24/2004 7:11 AM EDT

Nice little story. Venom was my fave.

I wonder if there are more stories like this around?

Posted by Grax @ 06/13/2004 7:32 AM EDT

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