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Download the Super Mario 3 Commercial!

Heyyyyyy. HEEYYYYYYYY. Hey. I've come to you once again in an effort of procrastination -- gotta finish up this week's print columns for Delaware, but the half-broken futon three feet away is calling my name. I'm usually more tired in the daytime, so I guess all of these random rapid weather changes are taking their toll on my increasingly aging and sadly brittle bones. Poor bones. On a cat food run earlier this evening, I was all too happy to see that our local grocer's begun putting together their Halloween displays. My ultimate goal is to make it out of their with one of those big Twizzlers packing boxes with the bats and witches all over it. I'm lame. Picked up two Women's Day-style Halloween mags on the checkout line, so now I'm fully prepared to haunt the shit out of next month with marshmallow ghosts and "Bride of Frankencupcakes." I'm lame X2. Actually, make that lame X8. Women's Day?

Speaking of Halloween, I think (hope) we're on target to get the ball rolling here on the site by the middle of this month. Just based on the stuff I've already got in-hand to review, it should be the best spooky season in X-E's history of spooky seasons. To be honest, doing the site has made me ten times the Halloween enthusiast that I used to be -- between making crayon rubbings off of Ichabod Crane's grave and having some justification in covering our apartment with shitty horror decorations, I've come to appreciate Halloween for what it truly is: the season that lets you get away with being really, really goofy.

You probably noticed a link in the Unicron article to get to a "comments section" on here -- a pretty blatantly obvious attempt to drive more readers to the ol' bloggagoat. Looks like it worked out okay, so I'll keep on doing that with future articles. Speaking of which, tomorrow's looks like a winner. It's another fast food expose, but this time, a whole lot of fast food is being exposed. Tons and tons. Tons, tons, and tons. Oh, by the way, thanks to NeroMan for crafting the Unicron icon that I modified for the post's logo. Before I go, got a little commercial download for you...

Okay, Super Mario Bros. 3 was a great game, we all know it. And if we didn't, Fred Savage told us. It's easily in my top ten favorite NES carts, and I doubt I'm alone in that distinction. When the game arrived, it was amidst shitloads of fanfare. Shitloads, I swear. There were several commercial spots promoting the game's release and even more after it was on the shelves, but of all the various ads, I think this one best illustrates just how much the title meant. A world obsessed with Mario? A world so obsessed with Mario that they color coordinated their clothes and stood in perfect alignment so that those in outer space would see Mario's head across Earth's landscape? It happened, and here's the thirty-second video to prove it...

Click here to download the Super Mario Bros. 3 commercial! It's around three MB, and well worth the time. Not sure if it's worth expending all the bandwidth, but I'm too tired to weigh the pros and cons. Go ahead, assault my server. Showing you guys a giant Mario head made out of people is a good cause. I hope. I pray. Just to make it today.

Posted by Matt on 09/04/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 65 comments

Sam/Carla? I think his super studly sperm (alliteration!) would be too much for her, err, fertile valley. Norm/Vera?

"The Lost Levels". That shit was the hardest. Damn Japanese.

Look at how much of Mario’s face occupies the Great Lakes. It appears to be filled with boats of people.

Of course, I’m saying that like convincing two whole time zones, "Hey, put on these sweat suits real quick & chant ‘Mario’ for about 20 seconds, could you?" is a piece of cake.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 09/04/2003 2:28 PM

Wow, I had no problem with Super Mario 2. I just used Luigi and super jumped over every stage. And he wasn’t such a wuss about picking up veggies like the princess was. And oh yeah, that Super Mario game in the All Stars Cart was the original Super Mario Bros 2, but it wasn’t released in the US because they thought it would be too hard for us stupid Americans. So they gave us Doki Doki Panic with Mario peoples instead.

I know too much about everything useless. . .

Chestnuts roasted by Stealthy Warrior @ 09/04/2003 2:29 PM

Turkey’s can’t fly is right. The lost worlds on all stars is the only Mario that is too hard to finish. And Krappy Kat is right as well, use the princess and its a snap!

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/04/2003 2:44 PM

Oh, Jesus, the Lost Levels. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you this:
Back in the day, back when I first got my SNES, I got a copy of All-Stars free. And I remember hearing that The Lost Levels were just IT – the hardest game in the world. And I did it. I beat every single level of that damn game – even the hidden World 9 and Worlds A-D. The worst were these impossible levels where you had to run and jump over these, I dunno, tornadoes or something, and you’d fly over the level and have to land on this insanely tiny chasm… repeatedly. Took me forever and a day to beat that game, and I did use the infinite lives cheat from level 1-1, but I did do it. I was so proud.
And that’s it. That’s what I’ll remember when I’m aging and withered. And that’s a sad way to die.

Chestnuts roasted by Master H @ 09/04/2003 3:10 PM

Anyone else having trouble playing the SMB3 commercial? I’m getting a "not a file that Quicktime understands" error message whenever I try to start it.

Chestnuts roasted by Frank the Tank @ 09/04/2003 3:16 PM

I JUST missed the Mario 3 boom (As I was 5 years old at the time, not old enough for a NES, I guess). I DID get the chance to beat the crap out of it when I got Super Mario All-Stars for SNES though.

Chestnuts roasted by AL @ 09/04/2003 3:28 PM

I too got my copy of All-Stars for SNES free. Isn’t that how most people got it though? It was some kind of mail-in deal, though I don’t remember what it was that you mailed in to get the game. I do remember being surprised at how quickly it arrived, much less than the 6-8 weeks I was told it would take.

And the Lost Levels are definately the hardest of all the Mario games. Aren’t the Lost Levels actually what the Japanese know as SMB2, since the game that we know was SMB2 in the USA is actually a compltely different game in Japan, with different character sprites?

Chestnuts roasted by Venadium @ 09/04/2003 3:37 PM

SMB3 offered one of th ebest moment sin all of NES, wearing the Hammer Brothers suit (second only to perhaps Kirby as a Flying Saucer)). Killing people w/hammers was worth wasting the 2 clouds to get to Toad’s house for it. I could never beat that stupid level in the ice world where you had to carry the duck shell and fly up and drop the duck to break the bricks.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 09/04/2003 3:47 PM

Frank, run it on Windows Media Player. That’ll fix it.

Chestnuts roasted by Stealthy Warrior @ 09/04/2003 3:50 PM

I still think this is one of the best video game commercials ever made. There’s just something hypnotic about it.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 09/04/2003 5:38 PM

Matt your not lame. Your excited about stuff you like. People look down on me sometimes because I like comic books. But screw them.
I’m an artist and comic arts excites me. So keep on doing what you want. No one tells me what to like or how to act!!!

PS: John Van Fleet and David Mack Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Yankee Clipper @ 09/04/2003 7:09 PM

SMB 3 can be a snap too; just bank up your p-wings and clouds plus your little power-ups, warp a couple of times, and cheat like a bitch in stage 8 with all that shit you saved and just breeze right through/over everything

Master H, Lost Levels was too damn hard (like 1), and you’re right about that being no way to die. I’ll vow to survive you as the neighborhood old grouch, hated by all the little children as I bitch and moan about how we used to beat video games. And how this guy even beat Lost Levels once, and he didn’t use no damn emulator F5/F7 bullshit to do it!

Didn’t Nintendo have some contest thing where you won something if you beat the Lost Levels without warping? (I seem to remember a special patch or something; ring any bells, Matt?)

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 09/04/2003 7:34 PM

god, that commercial is beautiful *single tear*

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 09/04/2003 7:42 PM

My neighbor picked up the Famicom version of Super Mario 3

before the NES version came out in the U.S. so got to play

the full game before anyone outside the U.S., At that time

people could only play a level or two on Nintendo’s PlayChoice 10.

The only difference between the Famicom and the Nes versions was

the game was in Japanese and if you were Fire Mario (or any other

Super form besides plan old Super Mario) you would go back to

being Regular Mario(a.k.a. Small Mario) but in the NES version

you just went back to being Super Mario, making the NES version

easier than the Famicom version. Nintendo need to make harder games.

Chestnuts roasted by Famicom Fan @ 09/04/2003 7:44 PM

Yeah, I think that a lot of the SMB All-Stars cartridges were mailed when you order a subscription of nintendo power… They made those games look freakin’ awesome on SNES too! Especially the original, it look WICKED nice on the SNES…

But that is one BIZARRE commercial.. A United States obsessed with Mario? Who woulda thought?

Chestnuts roasted by Karma @ 09/04/2003 7:50 PM

That’s one commercial I barely remember, but it’s awesome nonetheless. I was more occupied with The Wizard and the actual game. I assume a SMB2 is next?

The first one is the hardest, I think. Not because of the level design, some of the later levels are near impossible with such an archaic platform engine.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronKrusha @ 09/04/2003 8:57 PM

I always found it interesting that the Super Nintendo’s "Super Mario World" was never quite as a good as SMB 3, even thought it was on a better system.

-Ray

Chestnuts roasted by Pocketmego @ 09/04/2003 9:06 PM

44th post…

God posting "First post" IS MASSIVLY GAY!

I mean if you obviously had the first post, why didn’t you use it to your advantage? Everyone knows that the first post is the third most read thing in a Page like this!

Right behind the intro, the one next to the mario head, and well, itself?

God, you freaks who post first post bork it every time! Post decent stuff next time!

Chestnuts roasted by Angry Dad @ 09/04/2003 9:19 PM

Dude, SMB 3 is the best game out there, even today….and its coming out for the GBA!.::drool::..anyway about SMB1 being hard. I watched my sisters friend play through every level, every one, he didn’t use warps or cheats and beat the entire game in I think two hours, but that was a long time ago and my memory sometimes isn’t good with a timeframe.

Chestnuts roasted by XeroOne @ 09/04/2003 9:29 PM

If you get through the Lost Levels without warping or losing all your lives, you’d get access to the secret World 9. People who sent in photographic proof that they had reached World 9 were awarded a stupid patch that said "Certified Mario Maniac! NO WARPING! World 9 Challenge." I know I still have mine lying around here somewhere. Let me see if I can dig it up.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 09/04/2003 9:50 PM

80′s costume? mario and the princess.

Chestnuts roasted by s @ 09/04/2003 10:16 PM

melanie, shut ure cum guzzling mouth much?

Chestnuts roasted by ibentmywookie @ 09/04/2003 10:33 PM

I remember beating SMB3 on the NES,but it was a friend’s copy. I also made it through The Lost Levels on SM All-Stars for the SNES,both Level 9 and Worlds A-D. That game was my bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 09/04/2003 10:33 PM

oh yeah and for the record hector mario,u my boy, anyone who has to argue something as trivial as the word wookie or the spelling there of should get a life and move out of his parents house and angry dad I dunno wut a bork is, frankly don’t give a fuck, unless it’s at wendy’s but the whole "first post thing has become somewhat of a tradition so I decided to seize it, but since it was under a mario head, my apologies I’ll save my pulitzer prive shit for x-e’s message board another time. I’ve made my peace 50th some odd post :)

Chestnuts roasted by ibentmywookie @ 09/04/2003 10:53 PM

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