X-Entertainment | New Article: THE UNICRON TOYYYAH.

New Article: THE UNICRON TOYYYAH.

I'm very very tired and it's very very late, but finally, here's your review of the new Unicron toy -- a part of the Transformers Armada collection. We, of course, remember him better as the holy-shit-big thing that kicked ass in Transformers: The Movie. The figure costs fifty bucks. Steep, but remember -- he's got light-up eyes. I'm not usually an advocate of the particularly indulgent new toys, but this might be one you can't miss out on.

Posted by Matt on 09/03/2003. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 103 comments

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Hehe Sleep is for the weak :p good article !

Chestnuts roasted by Katie @ 09/03/2003 4:05 AM

darn i was just about to sugest ,a unicron article , and have you seen the heros of cybertron line its pretty sweet , i picked up two just tonight . keep the good work , your advanceing our culture , and in thease dark times thats what counts

Chestnuts roasted by snake @ 09/03/2003 4:06 AM

Transformers are cool and all, but I want to see some VISIONARYS or SUPER NATURALS! Hell yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Godmachine @ 09/03/2003 5:54 AM

I waited around Wal*mart for close to four hours when they were bringing those glorious boxes out. I shelled out the cash right then.

I really don’t care too much for armada (I’ve got Starscream, HotShot, and Smokescreen and they were all gifts. I won’t buy that shitty ass prime, it makes me sick!) But I had to get Unicron. I mean..COME ON! IT’S THE PLANET MUNCHING BASTARD BOT FROM HELL!!!

It was a pretty price to pay, but I did without food, drink, and masturbation for a week afterward. (I think I was spent after the twisty tie incident.)

Chestnuts roasted by Frantic @ 09/03/2003 5:56 AM

If toy stores deamed the hell pit I live in worthy enough to exist, I would surely go down and buy a unicron after reading your article. 26 security twists…wow.

Chestnuts roasted by Jenicron @ 09/03/2003 6:06 AM

Spiffy. I’ve never been a Transformers fan (I was born when the craze was halfway finished), but that’s a damn cool toy.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 09/03/2003 6:07 AM

Come to think of it…

Are you going to be reviewing any part of the TMNT revival on the site, Matt? Maybe just sit down and watch an episode of the new series or something. X-Entertainment could always use more Turtles.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 09/03/2003 6:09 AM

Mmmm, Unicron. I wasn’t aware there were prototypes of the big orange pac-man — man, those would have been some ugly toys. Look how round bellied the UniProtos are! If Orson Wells weren’t dead, I’m sure he’d be cranky that Hasbro portrayed his final effort as a jolly, robotic Santa, with a belly like a bowlful of cybertronian jelly. As for Armada, yech, don’t waste your time. Minicons are essentially pokemon, and the noxious pile of multiracial kids they’ve got palling around with the Autobots really makes me wonder why giant robots would tolerate a bunch of hairy fleshbags leaving grease smudges all over their superior alien technology.

Chestnuts roasted by Biflspud @ 09/03/2003 6:52 AM

Good lord, that song melted my brain…

I hate you, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 09/03/2003 7:18 AM

Matt, I am completely in love with you. You are the man of my dreams in every way.

Chestnuts roasted by BillyPeltzer @ 09/03/2003 7:50 AM

visionarys, super naturals. they werea pretty cool cool, pair of gimmick toys.

i remember they were a bit like transformers, (the supernaturals) (sort of) in that their hologram face would hange depending on the angle you held them at. i had a "ghostling" that changed from a punk to a wolf. it was pretty cool.

oh and their sword glowed in the dark. and their hands.

Chestnuts roasted by 'tin man @ 09/03/2003 7:59 AM

You can’t judge Armada solely on the first batch of bad eps.

There were plenty of episodes in the original G1 series that were just as bad. Remember the episode where those alien people sung to fight the Decepticons with their appalling singing? Carnage in C-Minor. Go check it out if you want your head to explode.

And anyway, the usage of the kids have been cut back for the last 20 episodes or so.

There have been alot of good episodes, such as the character development of Starscream into a honourable Beast Wars Dinobot-style anti-hero, Hot Shot’s abandonment of a comrade on Cybertron during the war and (not screened yet in the US), Prime’s bloody death in defence Earth.

Transformers will never be stopped! Hasbro/Takara will have five different TF toylines by the end of next year! And with a possible live-action movie upcoming, it will rule the world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chestnuts roasted by FFN @ 09/03/2003 9:11 AM

Here’s a link to a Japanese Unicron protoype. I’m not sure if it’s ever made into a toy but it sure looks a gazillion times better than Santa Claus Unicron. Check it out…

http://hk.geocities.com/hkcybertron/UnicronTestShot.html

Chestnuts roasted by Belthazor @ 09/03/2003 9:29 AM

‘toy lovers worldwide have been pining for this figure’s creation for well over a decade. With the exception of the Star Wars’ Death Star, I can think of no other plaything more universally thought of as "must be made."’

Just in case u didn’t know (thought you’ve mentioned it b4, but maybe not), the Death Star was made. It was a cut out section with a big blue gun on the top and the orange trash compactor room on the very bottom.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3143702608&category=49008

Chestnuts roasted by Satiate @ 09/03/2003 9:47 AM

Matt, let me just be the first one to say it – I have no idea how you managed to avoid the temptation of putting those ultra-posable arms and fingers in dirty poses, but you’re a better man than I, sir. Mine’s on permanent display with one hand grabbing his crotch, the other held high, flipping the bird to mankind in general. He’s a real bastard, that Unicron.

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 09/03/2003 9:48 AM

I’ve actually got that one, Satiate. Still with the box, too. I was referring more to the actual Death Star — planet-shaped and all.

Chestnuts roasted by Satiate @ 09/03/2003 9:50 AM

Speaking of masturbation, it’s pretty hard to do looking at Unicron when those damnable "The Order" movies keep popping up

Chestnuts roasted by "That's gross, dude." @ 09/03/2003 10:07 AM

OMG!!!!1!!

I NEED THAT TOY!! I NEED IT!! AAAAAHHH!!!

Oh wait, i am not a Transformers fan…. Pretty cool stuff though, wish they were made like this when i was 8… 18 freaking years ago… *sob* feeling so old… 30′s approaching… Hey but i still have all my hair

Chestnuts roasted by Molotov @ 09/03/2003 10:08 AM

I choked on my own spit when I saw that thing was AS BIG AS YOUR FRIKKIN HEAD!!! You say it’s big in the article, but I had no sense of scale. Your sleep deprived skull is the perfect comparison. Thanks, I’m turning blue…

Chestnuts roasted by spazzamatic @ 09/03/2003 10:34 AM

he looks like a gay viking

Chestnuts roasted by msa @ 09/03/2003 10:47 AM

have unicron choke that cabbage patch kid and smoke a cigarette with you.

funny article

Chestnuts roasted by trhwh @ 09/03/2003 11:08 AM

Looking at that picture with the minicons along the ring of Unicron, something occurred to me–there are twelve of them, evenly spaced in a circle. That means that you can create your very own Unicron clock! A Cronometer, if you will.

Sorry. Had to get that off my chest.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 09/03/2003 11:09 AM

Personally, I think the only general flaw is the wings. Not only do the Planet Mode ‘shells’ get in the way, there’s no easy way to pose them. I made a vow that next time Unicron goes from Planet to Robot, the shells stay off.

And sure, most of the Minicon themed line is a marketing gimmick, but there’s also a good chunk of stuff that’s an awesome throwback to the older lines. Some of the Minicons can transform into weapons (Targetmasters!) and in some cases, transform into optional headpieces! (Headmasters!).

Sure there are a good and unfair chunk of repaints and over-used molds, but there’s still the spirit of the older series in there…somewhere.

(Thundercracker = repainted Starscream, I act as if I think that’s horrible and lame, but then again, look at G1…. My only real beef is that in straight-out repaints, they don’t bother to give you a different Minicon!! I mean, sure with Megatron to Galvatron there shouldn’t be a new Minicon, but with Thundercracker – Starscream? GAH! And oddly, they’re releasing a THIRD Starscream based Decepticon (forget the name) only that it is slightly remolded and has a different Minicon.)

Sorry, bit of a rant. I’m only confused about two things:
Overload – A symbyotic Minicon/TF relationship??
Tidal Wave – Three parts. But not three TFs? Or are there three??

Chestnuts roasted by Ian Just Ian @ 09/03/2003 11:23 AM

Big Mac, Fillet-O-Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries.
Icy Coke, thick shake, sundae and apple pie.

Chestnuts roasted by klatubaradanikto @ 09/03/2003 11:29 AM

Since Hasbro bought out Kenner and gave thier Go-Bot line the bitch slap of being the Preschool line of Transformers toys the Gobos had no respect.
There was even the rumor that Dead End, Unicron’s Minicon, was initialy going to be called Gobotron(a second biatch tap since this was the Gobot version of Cybertron).
I guess they re-thought this since Dead End sounded cooler for his orbiting moon robot.

Also to have these characters to scale wont you have to set the figures about a mile apart? People should play with toys.

Scale was such a weird thing to TF toys.
The first, and friggin best, Megatron the gun was depicted as shrinking enough for Soundwave to shoot him. Soundwave packing the Megatron pistol in that one hand pose was always great. Well, it was.
Bumblebee was at crotch level to the uber bots in the toon, yet kneehigh to most in the toy line. Thus he was much more desired in the cartoon as his height was… functional. He could have been the one called Pipes.

I digress…

I only wish they made Unicron’s head removable to reinact the end of the movie.
That or give us a Spike soundchip where we can hear him scream "Shiiit!"… Wait there is no Spike in Armada… screw that noise.

Chestnuts roasted by Aconite @ 09/03/2003 12:44 PM

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