X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.
« [Main Index] »

Lucky Charms’ Swirly Whales: The Best Marshmallow EVER.

So, we're already amped for Halloween over here. I usually don't start till September, which is bad enough, but this year's really getting an early start. The stores have just begun putting out some of the Halloween wares -- mostly the black n' orange M&Ms and a few ghost-shaped Peeps, but I managed to find a few items that you'll see in the coming months. I think we're aiming to have X-E "spookified" by September 15th or so, and there's some cool shit planned. At worst, the place should feel a little more busy than usual. Busy and murderous.

Speaking of murder, what's your favorite cereal marshmallow? I'm not sure how the topic came up, or even if it didn't and I'm just making that part up as a good segue, but in the world of breakfast, there can only be one true top marshmallow in history. Tough call, right? Let me help -- this is, by far, the best cereal marshmallow there ever was:

It's the Lucky Charms "Swirly Whale!" Oh yeah, you know it. I was absolutely crushed when these things ran their course, and Lucky Charms have never seemed the same since. The marshmallows were white and whale-shaped, only with this big rainbow of color stripes over it, which to my child mind, indicated that each marshmallow boasted several fruit flavors. Course, they all taste the same, but that can be our little secret. Just ours. We kin. We blood. We swirly. The added an unbelievable splash of color to a bowl full of what was already multicolored, and if you don't think one measly new marshmallow could've made such an impact, take a look at the next picture...

Granted, it's not the photo that'll cause the collective readership of this site to stand up and shot "HOLY SHIT, MATT'S RIGHT," but c'mon, at least admit that it's colorful. Colorful and swirly. Best of all, they're some of the only marshmallows around who had their own back story -- get a load of the Swirly Whale's origin tale...

Lucky and a whale get trapped up on a rainbow, where the whale gets engulfed in their prison's flavorful colors. The commercials were episodic -- there was this whole huge story leading up to the rainbow shit, and even more afterwards. The coup? During the course of the promotion, Lucky Charms featured the Swirly Whale marshmallows. When the ads died, so did Swirly Whale, and a little piece of my heart. I haven't been as staunch a supporter of General Mills since. A General Mills that kills Swirly Whales is a General Mills I can't tip my hat towards. Club sandwiches, not seals.

Click here to download the Lucky Charms "Swirly Whale" commercial!

Posted by Matt on 08/19/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 74 comments

I remember those commericals for the Swirley Whales. I don’t think I ever saw them in stores here but the commercials I loved. I am sooo looking forward to see what Matt and friends can come up with for ideas for Halloween. May the Reaper steal your souls in the night.

Chestnuts roasted by KoNaX @ 08/19/2003 6:11 PM

Are cereal marshmallows really marshmallows anyway? Maybe thats why the brits don’t like them… I always enjoyed the freeze-dried ice cream (space ice cream) type of consistency..

Cracklin oat bran? Do they still sell that? I live in massachusetts, and they seem to be non-existant here..

Chestnuts roasted by goeatweeds @ 08/19/2003 6:13 PM

hehe it may be offtopic but this is so perfect for Matt:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3343667566&category=309

Chestnuts roasted by Katie @ 08/19/2003 8:36 PM

Anyone play the "You Don’t Know Jack" games? All of them have parody commercials during the credits, and one of them is for an "orgasm bar."

Chestnuts roasted by Silly Golem @ 08/19/2003 9:42 PM

On cereal marshmallows, I can’t help you since, frankly, I agree with the folks who said they’re usually dry and stale. The cereal that comes with those marshmallows is usually bland, too. Blecch. I did like the Monster Cereals as a kid, particuarly Frankenberry, but I wouldn’t touch them now.

I’m still getting past summer, much less getting ready for Halloween. I live in a resort, and I don’t start considering fall until the tourists are gone. I do need to replace some of my old decorations, however, so maybe I should start giving the holiday some thought. The Acme already has candy in fall-print bags out.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/19/2003 10:01 PM

hey punkrock101, i told matt first about garbage pail kids so dont take the credit

Chestnuts roasted by ryan_fett @ 08/20/2003 12:30 PM

My favourite marshmellows will always be the purple horseshoes.

They are so…untampered with. They changed the stars to shooting stars, took away the diamonds, turned the moons blue, added the clover to lucky’s hat. Only the horseshoes are untampered with and awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Tenchichan @ 08/20/2003 1:54 AM

I didn’t like the horseshoes much when I was little.They broke apart so easily while they were still in the milk.

But they are the only ones that the company hasn’t changed,so I guess they are awesome in some way…

Chestnuts roasted by Fhydra @ 08/20/2003 4:48 AM

Am I the only one who has Kirk Douglas’ song from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea going through their head?

"I’ve got a whale of a tale to tell you, a whale of a tale its true…"

Chestnuts roasted by Regault @ 08/20/2003 9:41 AM

Goeatweeds,

They do still make Cracklin’ Oat Bran. I was having a conversation with my senior year roommate about it and we could not find it anywhere. Finally, about a year ago, it began appearing on the grocer shelves here in New Orleans, and I was so pumped. But I did not buy it. Looking at the nutrition label, there was about 15 grams of fat per serving. (Most cereals have 0-5 g.) And that’s before adding buttermilk!

I think when the FDA made products list their nutrition value, sales of Cracklin’ Oat Bran fell big time.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 08/20/2003 9:49 AM

Oh, and for the Lucky Charms marshmallows — there is not a single original marshmallow shape/color left. Let’s see, it began with green clovers, orange stars, yellow moons, blue diamonds, red hearts,… and,… that might be it. Purple horseshoes came in either the very end of the 80s or beginning of the 90s. I still remember the ad.

Lucky’s hiding from the kids in a stable. In a horse pen. A pen for a purple horse. The horse gets agitated that Lucky’s hanging in his pad and literally kicks him out (very violent). Well, of course the kids find him, along with the new purple horseshoes.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 08/20/2003 9:56 AM

it’s true ^ .

Chestnuts roasted by nick @ 08/20/2003 11:22 AM

The Lucky Charms timeline (compiled from http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-generalmills.html)

1964: pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers
1975: blue diamonds added
1984: purple horseshoes added
1986: rainbow whale added temporarily
1989: red balloons added
1991: star-in-balloon replaced red balloon and orange star
1992: rainbow added
1994: pot of gold replaces yellow moon
1995: blue moon added
1996: clover-in-hat replaces green clover

Unfortunately that’s all the info the site had. At some point the star-in-balloon went back to being the red balloon and the new shooting star. I also think there were a few other marshmallows that were added for a limited time like the whale one was.

I’ve got too much free time.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 08/20/2003 1:20 PM

Matt my dear-

I meant to mention this earlier I know how you are a fan of animalia and what not . I went to the COney Island aquarium recently and theyre having a really awesome jellyfish exhibit. Not quite cryptozoology, but still really really cool.

cheers

Chestnuts roasted by Julia Badtouch @ 08/20/2003 3:45 PM

I dont really like cereal. I’ll eat LIFE. And that just shows what a boring bastard I am. No flava’ in that.

I dont even like breakfast. Except for bacon….and sausage. I enjoy pork in all its various forms. Maybe they should make pork flavored cereal.

Speaking of pork I was driving throug my downtown and some kind put an "o" were "a" should be on a sign that said "public parking"

FRASE OF THE DAY-PUBLICH PORKING

Chestnuts roasted by Yankee Clipper @ 08/20/2003 5:01 PM

HOLY SHIT, MATT’S RIGHT.

We kin. We blood. We swirly.

Genius.

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 08/20/2003 6:16 PM

And Golden Grahams said unto the masses (or me anyway), "Thou shalt have no other cereal unto me, for I am the Lord thy Breakfast." I have eaten no other cereal but golden grahams for about 7 years. Except for one box of Boo Berry my friend sent me (yes, they still make it) and I was visiting tennessee (don’t ask) and I found a store that still sells a cereal called Body Buddies. It was my favorite as a kid. but other than that, GOLDEN GRAHAMS ONLY. Delicious.

Chestnuts roasted by My NameIsAlsoMatt @ 08/20/2003 6:19 PM

There was also the locked door and when you poured milk on it, there was a key shape inside. That was for a limited time I think it was added this year or last year.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 08/20/2003 7:50 PM

i have one of the commercials for the swirly whale where they somehow try to temp the whale off the rainbow with lucky charms

Chestnuts roasted by josh @ 08/20/2003 9:50 PM

You guys are just now getting ready for halloween? halloween is every day here. i never cared for sugary cereals. i agree they are powdery. id rather put an ungodly amount of sugar in my cereal.

Chestnuts roasted by corinthian @ 08/20/2003 9:56 PM

I was never a big fan of marshmallow speckled cereals, mostly because I’ve been told I resemble Lucky the Leprachaun and don’t like to draw attention to it… that and they hurt my teeth. However I’ve been a fan of whales since they were invented! Well, I haven’t been the fan, but my sister was when we were younger. And being that she would go all canibalistic on me if I defied her and bite me (I swear, one time she bit my arm so hard I slung it along with me like a zombie for 3 months) I have seen my share of whale paraphanalia (try typing "whale paraphanalia" next time you’re depressed, I promise it’ll cheer you up), specifically "Dot’s Whale." While I don’t remember the plot, I remember Dot (the lead character) telling some kids that they shouldn’t throw stuff at whales… like bricks. I think it was put out by Green Peace of something. I want to get the video for my sistah for Christmas or Channuka or Kwanzaa or whatever holy day we celebrate. So if anyone knows what in the blue hell I’m talking about, some reciproication would make me giggle a dumb girl with a string of Christmas lights. AIM: Berkowitz412 Thanks!

Chestnuts roasted by Fish Number 641 @ 08/20/2003 11:17 PM

Hehe "get ready for Halloween" And what do i do? I live in Transylvania…

Chestnuts roasted by Molotov @ 08/21/2003 1:43 AM

I remember those swirly whales… It’s odd I’ll be driving down the street and suddenly think to myself. "Swirly Whales were the shit."

As for other Marshmallow cerials, Froot Loops with Marshmallows is the most repellant cerial ever, conversly Frankenberry is a #1 contender for best cerial ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Dante W. @ 08/21/2003 7:40 AM

Man like I saw me one of thoes whales at sea arama last week and it was like far out trippin dude, with all the colors swirlin and the little green men running on the rainbow, like its freakin me out. Then I had a bean burrito. Sweet.

Chestnuts roasted by BluntKing @ 08/21/2003 9:20 AM

Oh man, either those were before my time or I just forgot about them, but I don’t really see how that’s possible. I was eating Lucky Charms for breakfast today and trying to remember the origins of the marshmallows. I know the red balloon showed up when he went on that crazy trip in a balloon, I remember the pot of gold and his hat, I just couldn’t remember how the rainbow came about.

Chestnuts roasted by Black Zarak @ 08/21/2003 1:00 PM

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 19th, 2003 at 1:50 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.