So, we’re already amped for Halloween over here. I usually don’t start till September, which is bad enough, but this year’s really getting an early start. The stores have just begun putting out some of the Halloween wares — mostly the black n’ orange M&Ms and a few ghost-shaped Peeps, but I managed to find a few items that you’ll see in the coming months. I think we’re aiming to have X-E “spookified” by September 15th or so, and there’s some cool shit planned. At worst, the place should feel a little more busy than usual. Busy and murderous.
Speaking of murder, what’s your favorite cereal marshmallow? I’m not sure how the topic came up, or even if it didn’t and I’m just making that part up as a good segue, but in the world of breakfast, there can only be one true top marshmallow in history. Tough call, right? Let me help — this is, by far, the best cereal marshmallow there ever was:
It’s the Lucky Charms “Swirly Whale!” Oh yeah, you know it. I was absolutely crushed when these things ran their course, and Lucky Charms have never seemed the same since. The marshmallows were white and whale-shaped, only with this big rainbow of color stripes over it, which to my child mind, indicated that each marshmallow boasted several fruit flavors. Course, they all taste the same, but that can be our little secret. Just ours. We kin. We blood. We swirly. The added an unbelievable splash of color to a bowl full of what was already multicolored, and if you don’t think one measly new marshmallow could’ve made such an impact, take a look at the next picture…
Granted, it’s not the photo that’ll cause the collective readership of this site to stand up and shot “HOLY SHIT, MATT’S RIGHT,” but c’mon, at least admit that it’s colorful. Colorful and swirly. Best of all, they’re some of the only marshmallows around who had their own back story — get a load of the Swirly Whale’s origin tale…
Lucky and a whale get trapped up on a rainbow, where the whale gets engulfed in their prison’s flavorful colors. The commercials were episodic — there was this whole huge story leading up to the rainbow shit, and even more afterwards. The coup? During the course of the promotion, Lucky Charms featured the Swirly Whale marshmallows. When the ads died, so did Swirly Whale, and a little piece of my heart. I haven’t been as staunch a supporter of General Mills since. A General Mills that kills Swirly Whales is a General Mills I can’t tip my hat towards. Club sandwiches, not seals.
Click here to download the Lucky Charms “Swirly Whale” commercial!
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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We’re already mapping out which stupid hayride/pumpkin patches to assault.
I’m thinking that before Lucky Charms runs its course, as a cereal, they should do a special "every marshmallow ever" edition. It would contain at least one of every marshmallow they’ve ever made.
Nevermind the production costs, they owe it to us sugar fiends whose insatiable morning appetite has paid those bastard’s salaries all these years.