Remember those dueling Hulk and Spongebob popsicles? They’re not alone. While carousing around Jersey shopping plazas last night, we dropped into the only Toys R’ Us around that hasn’t been remodeled to look more “modern” — a favorite stop of mine, as it still retains the look and strange smell of the stores I wandered around in as a child. Killing two birds with one stone, I stuck my head in their cashier-side freezer to see if there was anything worth writing about. There wasn’t, but I’m going to anyway — Marvel’s effort to control the frozen treat market rages on with two more popsicles, this time striking the likeness of X-Men’s “Wolverine” and Spider-Man’s “Spider-Man.” Ughhmsdgh.
Judging Marvel’s success solely on these two, I’d say they’re batting .500%.
First up, Wolverine’s “X-Treme Sour” cherry ice. As the title suggests, it’s real sour. It’s interesting to eat something brown and flesh-colored that tastes like that, but not so much so that I wouldn’t notice the fact that Wolvie’s pair of gumball eyes are hideously misplaced. Oddly, this is the first time I’ve seen the beast. Seems a bit late to come out with an X-Men inspired ice cream, but hey, they’re still peddling those X-Men Oreos, too. Maybe it’s promotion for the DVD release? Nope. Definitely not. In fact, suggesting that Wolverine ice cream is meant to promote an upcoming DVD is probably the worst hypothesis I’ve ever made. I’d feel a tad more remiss if I didn’t like cherry ice so much.
While Wolverine appears pretty much exactly how it should, Spider-Man looks more like one of those things that obstructed the Princess from climbing vines in Super Mario 2. The only way it could seem like less like Spider-Man is if they attached little notecards to the popsicle head reading “this is not Spider-Man.” Tobey Maguire would feel a tad more remiss if everyone didn’t like that horse movie so much.
With me and Tobey just barely avoiding feeling remiss, I bid you goodnight.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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First Post! Yay! Spiderman looks freaky…