The X-Entertainment Blog

08/01/2003: Monopoly: The Cereal Edition.

Get ‘em while they’re hot — “Monopoly: The Cereal Edition” is in stores now. Why? Who knows? Rightfully viewing the crap as a sheer novelty item, General Mills did us all a breakfast solid by putting this into the smaller, 14-ounce boxes. It’s cheaper than most of your usual day-starters. I’ve got no idea where this came from; there doesn’t seem to be any tie-in Monopoly anniversaries or anything. It’s just…there. With Uncle Moneybags on the box alongside his collection of silver-plated player pieces, Monopoly Cereal promises to delight with bowls full of real estate.

On the left, “sweetened wheat and rice.” It’s a Cinnamon Toast Crunch clone in looks and taste, so if you like CTC, YOU’LL LOVE THE MONOPOLEEEE. That junk’s just there to aid in the vitamin fortifying — the real coup is in Monopoly Cereal’s choice amounts of chalky marshmallows. There’s title deeds in various colors, red “hotels,” green “houses,” and sometimes, the different marshies will stick together, seeming to create entirely new supernatural hybrid entities — possibly an omen of what’s to come from Parker Brothers?

It won’t be around long, so if your curiosity’s been piqued, now is the time. We’re all gonna die someday, but only a small percentage of us will die with the right to tell all the folks in Hell that we’ve eaten Monopoly Cereal. Be with us. Stay a while.

….staaaaay….FOREVEREEERRRRR!

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Maybe I will buy some and not eat it, thereby adding a second cereal box to my collection (the other being the Bart Simpson cereal from about a year ago).

I’ve seen people with massive cereal box collections, and they scare me. They must live in constant fear of rat attacks.

Is there any better Community Chance card than the one declaring that "You came in 2nd place in a beauty contest, collect $10.00!"??

Ack…consumptionjunction.com has lots o’ pr0n on it…An unexpected surprise.

"Rightfully viewing the crap as a sheer novelty item, General Mills did us all a breakfast solid by putting this into the smaller, 14-ounce boxes."

I think that Mr. Game and Watch needs to meet my friend, Mr. be nice to Women. That’s not nice. Do not call people FOOL. It’s not very nice. I just might have to throw you down using the old Dragon Kick. That’s what you get for Effing with the Banshee. Fuck with the bull, you get the horns. Cool? I hope I never have to lay you out like that again. Let me help you back up, now that you’ve learned your lesson, buddy.

Whoa, only took ten posts to fight a whole war and make peace. There’s some kind of global significance there, but damned if I know what it is.

Wow…my third ever post and I inspired a blog entry! I…I don’t know what to say.

One can say that A) it is entirely a coincidence and Matt was already going to do this piece or B) that he listens to Garrison more then A-wel Cruiz’s begging for a Mac and Me review.
Bansheex’s response to Mr.G&W left me feeling really heart broken, can’t those guys see that they are meant to be together like Han and Leia (decide amongst yourselves whose the guy and whose the bitch).
Golden Grahms and marshmellows, that’s practically kiddie crack, they’ll make millions mwhahahahahahahaha!

Ubu Rex, I apologize since I used to warn of the porn when I would post links from Consumption Junction.

What the Hell? Happnin’ Mojo, I made up there at the end. I said what I had to, and then made peace. Such is the cosmic balance of nature. Or something like that.

Heh, the monopoly cereal box was the most popular read in the break-room at acme…

I used to think I was one of the only people alive that remembered that old Mission: Impossible game for the Commodore 64.

Classic stuff; reminds me of Peter Graves, which in turn reminds me of Airplane! Go figure.

im a cereal collector, but i just keep the front panels. It s a damn good cereal, but the cinnamon flavor fades quick. It seemed to me that it had way more marshmallows than most cereals out.
Ahh the rats!

Why oh why did they stop making the Homer Simpson donut cereal? That was the only cereal i’d eat. Except for Frosted Rice Krispies and Frankenberry, but I have to drive almost an hour to get those.

The crappiest tasting cereal is in my opinion Cookie Crisp, it was such a huge dissapointment because I was expecting miniature cookies with milk but it tasted more like doggie treats, must be why they don’t show commercials anymore… in fact they don’t show as much cereal commercials as they used to. Top seven cereals in no specific order: peanut butter flavored Capt. Crunch (screw the ridiculously over priced Reese’s cereal), Honey Bunches and Oats (the squirells still make me smile), Corn Pops, Golden Crisp or Smacks as they are esentially the same thing, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Golden Grahms (see above, for some bizarre reason ants love this stuff go ahead and leave a little somewhere outside and see them come crawling), Frosted Flakes, and frosted wheat preferably in one of those plastic, generic cereal bags.
Has anyone tasted Simpson’s Cookie-Dohs? Just want to know if it’s worth 5.00 and if any of you have seen any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Gummies, you know the flat ones that came in a plastic tray and you peeled off, if so then it’s three times older then that Super Mario Bros. popsicles.

I just wanted to give kudos to the "Impossible Mission" reference you did at the end of that. That Commadore game was only like, all I did when I was a little kid before I got an NES.

My God. Matt, I am now convinced that half of these cereals aren’t even for sale, and you’re really buying them secret from the various cereal companies. This is like, tailored to order for X-E reviewing! Creepy!

Mmm, I love CTC! Ate some this morning, actually. But I will valiantly stand up for Reese’s Puffs–I like PB C’n'C, but I love my Reese’s Puffs so much more. Yummers!

Let me holla at cha playa.
You know, I was going to space my appearences out up in the heezy, but apparently you crackas like me and I seem to be in high demand. Beelee dat playa. You know, back in da day, we used to be Whitey’s underpaid entertainment and nothing more. Beelee dat playa. Which leads me to Monopoly. White board spaces, landed on by rolling white dice to win the white mans money. Beelee dat playa. I’m surprised that cereal didn’t come with Samba Simba action figga. Beelee dat playa.

The reason for Monoply cereal is that General Mills is having a cross-promotion with Hasbro and they are giving away CD-Rom games of there board games with there various cereals. I’m surprised the Monoply cereal didn’t come with a game.

Once the monopoly cereal is gone you can make it yourself with these easy steps!

1. buy a box of cinnamin toast cruch and a box of lucky charms both made by general mills.
2. separate the marshmallows from the lucky charms.
3. Put marshmallows into cinnamin toast crunch and mix well.

Congratulations you have made monopoly cereal with different marshmallows…hmm what if the monopoly guy is really a leprechaun? Maybe this cereal is the company’s way of telling us something…

Ah, Impossible Mission… that’s the British game that Zillion on the Sega Master System ripped-off, if I’m not mistaken? But Zillion had cool-looking (for the time) anime cut scenes, so I forgive Sega for not being completely original… not that running, jumping and shooting games were all that complex in those days.

asm i the only gimp who though the "Staaaaaaaay forever" line was infact a slayer reference?

spaking of which, they should make monopoly loafs of bread, with all the cards made from slices, and the board too. all the slices would be died. and the board you would have to put together jigsaw style. and the money would be died slices too. i think it would need about 10 loaves to make a full set, and died muffins for the pieces and houses.

Talk about old school. I remember that game, but the jerk whose house I was at would never let me play. Ah bittersweet memories.

So anyone have any suggeestions on what to do with a recently aquired Game Gear?

It was $5 at a yeard sale. How could I pass that one up? It was a toss up between the soiled panties in the box next to it or the circa 1968 pseudo-destryoed chrome lamp flanking the Gear. I even got Eco the Dolphin. ECO THE FUCKING DOLPHIN!

I remember enjoying a box of "Gremlins" cereal, back in the day. It had a big picture of Gizmo on the box front, and the corn(?)-based cereal was in the shape of thousands of Mogwai, but still — I think it was called Gremlins. I remember it tasted a bit like Cap’n Crunch, though it had this awkward CARDBOARD aftertaste which made you feel like you’d just done something very wrong. I was a huge Gremlins fan when I was a tyke, and I’d read the novelization, which included this bit (not in the movies) that describes how the little Mogwai enjoy eating cardboard, so I wondered if this was an intentional taste design.

Lucky Charms was always my favorite. And I could never explain why. But now I’m thinking it was the bright colors and intense lack of short term memory that followed every bowl…

Yeah, three posts and Garrison getshis desire, how long have I been clamboring for the rest of the Photog art and it still hasn’t shown up? Crickey.

"Damn it, no matter how many times I enter, I always win second place at that damn pagent. What’s wrong with me!"

"I have the pay the back money? Well, technically, I am the banker, so I should be paying myself…"

Guy 1: Just take a look, it’s in a book, it’s READING RAILROAD.
Guy 2: Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

hmm maybe it good maybe not i am willing to put my like on the line to test Cereals new and old hmm if i could just get my hands on box Donkey jr. cereal then i will throw in some Bill& teds cereal last but not least i will add Monopoly in to the mix to make A TERROR THAT MAN HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE MUHAHAHAHAAHA…THERE WILL BE FLOOD,MASS Muders….it will be gloryess

Let Me Holla At Cha Playa. You see, The Man (Matt), is holding Photog back. Beelee dat playa. You see it’s like this. You take the brotha out, make him famous, give a lil shine time, and then put him back in his rightful place. Aint dat right Matt? Brotha Photog was only brought out so Matt could Assassinate his character. Beelee dat playa.

Toxic Oreo: What to do with a newly acquired Game Gear? Two words: Shining Force. Also, the Game Gear version of Mortal Kombat II looked pretty damn spiffy, considering it’s an 8-bit game. The Sonic GG games are fairly decent approximations of their 16-bit cousins, though they wisely chose not to make them direct down-sized ports after the first one, but rather spin-offs. Also, and I have to take people’s words for this as I never played it, supposedly, the GG (and Master System) version of Castle of Illusion starring Mickey Mouse has even better gameplay than the 16-bit version and is almost on par with the Mario games.

I think you should go to Radio Shack and get one of those multi-port AC adaptors, since, if I remember correctly, my brother’s Game Gear didn’t even have a place to put batteries, instead, you had to get this add-on, which honestly looked a bit like a gray dildo, and put in a whole bunch of "double A"s (or was it "triple A"s) and plugged it into the GG with a wire for just 2 hours or so of actual gameplay.

Worst cereal ever — Krispy Kritters … I don’t think they make this crap anymore, and that’s a good thing … My mother would buy it for my sister and I only because they had it when she was small … Even though my sister and I openly expressed our concerns in eating the stuff, it seems Mom would buy it for reminiscent purposes only..and wouldn’t buy us regular kiddie cereal until we finished the boxes she’d buy…

For those that never had it, it’s like the oat pieces in Lucky Charms, but with zero sugar … Oh yeah, they were hard as a rock … I think they may be the only cereal I’ve ever had that never, ever got soggy … Sure, Capn’ Crunch could hold his own against the Soggies for a while, but Krispy Kritters had the endurance and impermeability to last days in milk…

You know, I for one heartily support Mr. Long, a true crusader for social justice. Free Photog…and Mumia, too while you’re at it.

They should make a Lucky Charms spinoff cereal that is just marshmallows. Damn! That would be tasty!

You fool! Cereal made entirely of marshmallows? Do you WANT every single kid in the good ol’ US of A to have diabetes by the time they hit age 13?!

I wouldnt mind an all marshmallow cereal. But cereal marshmallows arnet realy like the REAL marshmallows, there much harder and foamer, so i dont think you have to worry bout diabetes. Its all good.

I still have to say the scariest cereal ever made was that Nintendo cereal. 50% SMB, 50% Zelda, 100% pure vomit inducing crap.

All I know, is that every single time I ever ate Lucky Charms, up until today even, I always make sure to get as many of those damn marshmallows on my spoon as possible. When there were none left, my soul felt just as devoid of purpose as my bowl was devoid of those tasty sweet and mostly crunchy marshmallows. And one other thing, don’t drink that Hulk chocolate syrup, it turns your poo green for weeks.

I remember loving Ghostbuster cereal as a kid. Except I hated the ghost shaped marshmallows…so I made my mom pick every one of them out of my bowl before I ate it. *sniff* I love you mom.

hjdgn 6rujn! Let me holla at cha playa.
Now to quote Brotha Dwayne Johnson, who in the blue hell are you? You best believe I be the only TRL thuggin and buggin up in here. And I don’t mean Carson Daily. Beelee dat playa. If I see some Cracka tryin ta bite my style, I’m gonna call his ass out for a Mack attack. Beelee dat playa.

Hey Matt, remember Ice Cream Cones cereal? The cereal with little "scoops of ice cream" pieces and "cone" pieces? They make it again! Bought a box at Stop and Shop today.

How about a ouija board cereal? Just design the box and fill it with Alpha-Bits. Throw in a pazuzu action figure with 5 proof of purchases.

Nice impossible mission (or what is it mission impossible? heh) reference. I swear, I still hear geeks rip that damn saying off every month or so……that game was SO awesome heheh

I happened to pick up a box of Monopoly cereal the other day.. Actually really good stuff, vast amounts of sugar, good consistency. I figured it’s release might have something to do with those free 5 year old board-game based pc games that some cereal company was giving out, but upon closer inspection, there were no cds in the box, so *shrug*

To the person with the game gear. Look on Ebay for the game gear Tv attachment. It will run you about 30 bucks but its the most awesome thing ever to happen to hand held gaming. It let you turn your screen into a working portable Tv with good sound a perficly clear picture and it costs less then a same sized portable TV. If only they would put one like it out for game boy advanced SE I would be in digital handheld heaven.

Better get an AC adapter to go with that game gear, cause that TV Adapter will suck your 6 AA batteries dry super fast. It’s not a pretty site as well as not enviormentally sound.

I have no idea how people find time for porn on the internet with quality entertainment like this.

I still feel strongly that cereal companies should market ’sugar cereal milk’…..who doesn’t love the left-over milk after a big bowl of sugar cereal….almost a bright yellow with sugary goodness!! I would surely buy Cap’n Crunch or Count Chocula flavoured Sugar Cereal Milk

I’m rather certain it was Impossible Mission. Ah, that game was good. ‘Destroy him, my robots.’

Is it just me or were Dick Dastardly and Muttley the only things that made Catch That Pigeon watchable?

Hey Teddy why wasn’t your buddies in Doom ever on a cereal box? And no one better make any Coco Puffs…OR Krispies remarks got it?

Ahhh….’Sugar Cereal Milk’ with a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms marshmallows. Diabetic sugar shock? Probalbly. The most heavenly sweet goodness before your heart stops? Absolfrigginlutely!

I once begged my mom for Smurfberry cereal. She never bought presweetened cereal, but this time she did. It was horrible! My older sister would sneak it into the garbage a bowlful a day so we didn’t get in trouble for not eating the nasty stuff after we begged for it.

those american cereals sound horrible.. id rather stick to frostis, they may have sugar on but the are tasty. i hated lucky charms when they were out in england, and once they even put marshmallows in ricicles!!!! every one hated that.

speaking of theodoor long, i saw an old wcw repeat when he managed doom, and ron simmons went to spinebuster a jobber, but they kind of went u and laNDED ON THEIR feet. it was a very long 5 seconds before ron "saved" the situation with a super stiff forearm.

I’d like to see Yahtzee cereal next. It could come with scorecards, and the marshmallows could be different dice! And…ah, that sucks.

any one notice how on the weekends with no xe updates we all kinda just ramble on whatever matt has finished off with

Parker Brothers seems to like food tie-ins for Monopoly. I remember seeing a Monopoly set a while back with playing pieces, houses, and hotels all made of chocolate. I think that the money was replaced by chocolate coins, too.

I guess I’ve always been pretty boring when it comes to my cereal choices, I’ve always been a Raisin Bran guy. Never really got into any of the licensed gimmick cereals, except for Ghostbusters, which my best friend and I came up with an eating game for.

I’ve always been partial to the "MONSTER" cereals myself … and "Fruity Pebbles."

I’ve seen this one at the grocery store where I work. I’d be more interested in picking it up, as I am a CTC fan, if it didn’t have marshmallows. I HATE cereal with marshmallows. The cereal is usually blah, and marshmallows are not supposed to be crunchy. It’s a cute idea, though, and at least they didn’t base it after a cereal I’ve never liked, Cap’n Crunch.

I love monopoly cereal. I want more this is the best tasting cereal I’ve had in a long time. Pleasetell me how can I get more. my email is meekamo1025@aol.com

“Another visitor. Stay awhile, stay forever!” Massive points for the Impossible Mission reference. I loved them both, though I never beat them. Anyone play Powerstar?

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