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Super Mario Ice Cream?

Heylo. We just got back from the Poconos, along with three garbage bags full of flea market crap and stolen jelly condiments from the many dilapidated diners and convenience stops we found along the way. The jellies sparked a great debate over how "Concord grapes" got their name, segueing sheerly by virtue of rhyme to a discussion about Cheers recurring character, Robin Colcord. The moral? Not much to do in that town -- you drink a lot in the Poconos.

Anyway, there's probably an article waiting to be written around the pictures I took, particularly those from a "Snake and Animal Farm" so unabashedly filthy that it's amazing everything in there wasn't dead. This'll have to wait till later, though -- gotta wrap up this week's "real" articles before I can torment you with the regular stuff. My next Top 11? Alien Invasion Movies. It'll be up tomorrow afternoon. Before I get back to Gort and Metaluna Mutants, there's one small thing I had to show y'all first...

At the Poconos' weekly flea market, an ice cream truck offered the goods: Super Mario Bros. Popsicles. Actually, I thought I was being misled -- the truck was advertising ice pops that haven't been sold in years, so when I asked for a Mario bar, the creature working inside kinda glanced at me with that whole "you're kidding, right?" look. She said she wasn't sure if they "had anymore," which certainly would've been for the best since they're a few years old. After digging through some boxes in the back of the truck, the creature lady emerged with what she swore was "the last Mario pop!" No really, she actually hopped up screaming "look, it's the last Mario pop!" As if I wasn't embarrassed enough just ordering the thing in my mid-20s, now I had creature lady shouting it at the top of her lungs for all of the flea marketing world to hear. I quickly threw a bunch of quarters at her and scurried off, like a skunk thrown into the middle of a busy flea market. I say this with firsthand knowledge -- there really was a skunk in the middle of the flea market.

See? The skunk's crazy owner waltzed through the event with her head held high and a goddamned SKUNK on a purdy red leash. Honestly, this alone made the entire weekend and all of its many wallet-crashing moments worth it. Still, kinda sucks that I saw the skunk before the flea market's other trump card -- The Polaroid Monkey...

Yup, some old guy rented out a booth so people could pay six bucks for a Polaroid shot with his pet monkey. The monkey, by the way, had let go of so much urine in that small booth that the guy had to keep his feet up on a chair to avoid getting all pissified. Really, really depressing sight. He wouldn't let me take a picture of the monkey, insisting that I shell out the six bucks for a "professional" shot. This was as close as I could get without him noticing. I'm not sure if there's any laws that'd make leaving monkeys out in the hot sun to piss all over themselves illegal, but it certainly seemed a bit off. Oh well, monkeys and skunks are prime candidates to brighten up any flea market. Back to Mario...

There it is. The bubble gum nose was so incredibly stale that my entire jaw collapsed upon trying to chew it, but at least the ice itself remained lemony and delicious. I've gotta get back to the articles now, but I didn't want anyone to go through Monday without the chance to see leashed skunks and Mario pops. That's my contribution to society for today, eat your heart out Mudda Teresa.

Here's s'more Flea pics...

Posted by Matt on 07/28/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 118 comments

GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE! GIANT SKUNK JUICE!

That is all.

Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 07/29/2003 12:25 PM

Matt,

I was walking down the aisle of a grocery store (Safeway) close to where I live and I came upon some Marshmallow FLUFF! So, if you have a Safeway close to where you live, you need to check it out to pay back your friend for your mishap a while back.

Chestnuts roasted by J-Dog @ 07/29/2003 12:32 PM

I hope you bought that Iron Sheik figure! Man, are those hard to come by! Whatever happened to the Iron Sheik? Friggin’ Andre the Giant gets his own A&E Biography and the Sheik gets nada? What’s with that?

Chestnuts roasted by YetAnotherMatt @ 07/29/2003 12:32 PM

Uh…hate to tell you this, Matt, but I saw a Mario ice cream bar at my local mall today. It was identical to the one that you had in your article. The only discernible difference was that the sign was blue and had a picture of Mario in a go-kart instead of on Yoshi. The thing is, the food court that the ice cream was sold in is only two or three years old.

I’m thinking that the Mario ice cream bar is being produced once more.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 07/29/2003 12:33 PM

Yo

The trashy neighbors from down the street had a pet skunk on a leash for some time when I was a kid. Really, they were (and from the looks of it still are) trashy.

I don’t know what they did to keep it from spraying, but I think since it was domesticated and all, that it wouldn’t spray anyone because it didn’t fear humans.

Damn thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Tenchi-chan @ 07/29/2003 1:14 PM

In that picture of the Mario pop sign it kind of looks like a Donkey Kong pop in the lower left corner.. is it? or am I the only one who cares.. I suppose it could just be any old monkey…

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 07/29/2003 1:38 PM

My mother had a pet skunk when she was young. Somehow they catch them and have the stink gland removed. That said, I always wondered if it didn’t still smell some because my friend had a ferret and had it’s stink gland removed and I couldn’t tell the difference. That thing stunk.

Chestnuts roasted by klatubaradanikto @ 07/29/2003 1:39 PM

I think that’s a Jimmy Neutron pop…at least, that’s what it looks like to me. I don’t actually know for a fact that there ever were Jimmy Neutron pops.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 07/29/2003 1:42 PM

I have a suggestion:

Perhaps when Matt posts comments in the blog, rather than having Shyguy show up it could be the adorable little Gizmo? That way any other Matt’s that stop by don’t cause any confusion, and official Matt comments would be extra super cute. What do you think?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/29/2003 2:00 PM

Actully, here’s some mario info on here!

http://www.popsicle.com/treats/treats_famousfaces.asp

Apparently, it’s curent.

Weird.

Chestnuts roasted by Onizuka @ 07/29/2003 2:20 PM

I’d be impressed to find out that someone somewhere collected novelty ice treats throughout the years, and had a massive meat-locker sized freezer full of various characters from various decades and various regions throughout the world.

That person would be a true king among men.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 07/29/2003 3:17 PM

Wow, that reminds me of playing in the neighborhood then freaking out at the possibly that one of my friends thinking they might’ve heard the ice cream truck. I’m glad to see Popsicle® is still busting out the old-school Firecrackers. My personal favorite was always the screwball.

Chestnuts roasted by Boscoe @ 07/29/2003 3:21 PM

I would like to see Matt’s symbol for a post be the Decepticon’s logo.

That is all. As you were.

Chestnuts roasted by eyeless @ 07/29/2003 3:54 PM

big orange gorilla guy is tmnt im pretty sure… i think i had him to

Chestnuts roasted by ToastedForks @ 07/29/2003 3:58 PM

I did watch all 3 episodes of Bucky O’Haire. Not that bad of a show. General Cragg is responsible for the scar above my right eye. Son of a Bitch. Might I add….
Swing your arms
from side to side
come on let’s do the Mario!
HEY!
(Captain Lou Albano)

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/29/2003 4:21 PM

As I understand it skunks actually make pretty good pets. They are domesticly raised specificly to be pets, it is illegal in NJ and I think pretty much everywhere else to just trap a skunk from the wild. They are carefully bred so there is no chance of rabies, and indeed they are de-skunked and nuetered so they don’t attack people ether by tooth or by smell.

For more information on skunks as pets, visit your local library or go to http://www.skunksaspets.com

Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 07/29/2003 5:40 PM

"i see what appears to be bruiser from "bucky o’hare"… does anyone else in the entire world remember that show aside from myself?
-Posted by matt"

Oh the nostalgic memories of that show… I was the only kid on my block that had; other than the T2 Bio Flesh regenerator Kit,

http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Terminator2Bio-FleshRegeneratorPlayset.pdf

That Blue Toad ship from Bucky O’Hare, and every Bucky figure known to child-kind.

I believe they, like most children’s cartoons of the TMNT fame, began as a comic book. Or was it the other way ’round?

Looking forward to the next article as always Matt. :)
-Blayne

Chestnuts roasted by ernie@bungie.org @ 07/29/2003 5:43 PM

I’d get that original Whiplash,if his tail was still intact and all. I got the new one,but I would get this one for…setimental reasons,yeah that’s it.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 07/29/2003 5:55 PM

Matt (THE Matt) I love few things more than rummaging through your archives. God, I make that sound so dirty. Anyway, I came across an old favorite, the G.I. Joe Survival Juice article. Just for a question, who is that wonderful peice of cuteness in the article with you? She is identified only as "Sprite" Thanks! By the way, I’m not crazy, just curious. Next time I’m in NY, I’ll take you all out for drinks, cool?

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/29/2003 6:21 PM

"i see what appears to be bruiser from "bucky o’hare"… does anyone else in the entire world remember that show aside from myself?"

Blimey, I’d forgotten all about Bucky O’Haire! I remember how ambiguous I always felt watching it. In some way I liked it enough to feel compelled to see each episode through when I didn’t forget it was on, even though I’d feel deeply ashamed for doing so.

I’ve since repressed most of my memories having anything to do with Bucky.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 07/29/2003 6:52 PM

I remember Bucky O’Hare–and I also had that very figure, which was a favorite as a kid. Last time I had a Super Mario Pop (don’t remember if it was the same kind) was back in ’96, I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 07/29/2003 6:59 PM

Bucky O’Hare… I must’ve been around 8 when he came and went, but his addictively cool theme song has been stuck in my head for 10 years! Thank god for KaZ… I mean, legally purchasing obscure cartoon theme songs at Best Buy(TM).

Again, I think every General Kragg should be found and registered as deadly weapons.

Chestnuts roasted by SilvaKrown @ 07/29/2003 7:13 PM

the ice cream lady near my house still sells the mario pops…

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 07/29/2003 7:56 PM

Only two years ago or so, my local ice cream shop was still selling WWF Ice cream bars, and I used to indulge in a Yokozuna or Alundra Blaze one now and then.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/29/2003 8:04 PM

To anyone who actually buys a Mario Ice Cream thing: DON’T eat the gumball right away. Gumballs like that are always stale, coupled with it’s frozen state… you get the idea.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronKrusha @ 07/29/2003 9:01 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2003 at 6:46 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.