X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

07/25/2003: Weekend Picture Gallery! =D =D

Together, we’ve made to another Friday. Who know what magic and intrigue await us for the upcoming week? Who? Ponder that, and look at a bunch of scratchy pictures. Have a nice weekend, but not so nice that it makes all future weekends appear sucky by comparison. Have a debatably awesome weekend. Here’s the pics, from various ads of the 80s, 90s AND TODAY. Who?

Almost forgot — someone e-mailed in asking if I’d swayed opinions on my previous “perfect pet,” the Siamese Fighting Fish. Tough one. Well, the hermit crabs are certainly more fun to watch, but they also require more attention to keep alive. I dunno though, I’d go with the crabs. I’ve been sent some pics of readers’ hermit crabs today, and god damn, some of them were the size of rats. Others weren’t so rat-sized, but there’s always hope ’cause the things never never ever stop growing. Yeah, I’d say crabs over fish, unless the fish is a sharky.

Here’s some weekend reading material from the X-E archives: Within the Woods movie review, a tribute to Clowny Crayons, and oh yeah — TMNT’s Sewer Playset. Enjoy. Who?

I don’t even have anything to say.I just want to try to be first. And why does the GI Joe figure (I had him, but no idea what his name is) open up into a Little Caesar’s ad?

Just thought I would take a shot at "first." I noticed that the GI Joe picture takes you to another shot of the Little Caesars ad.

so I wasn’t first

I’ll get over it *sniff* I’ll just comment on some of the pics. I was jealous cause my cousin had a pooch patrol doll and I didn’t. I always wanted a yum yum too. An old butterfinger ad too bad butterfinger dropped bart. Pogs were cool. I loved to watch beetlejuice.

I didn’t realzie how sad it would make people if I got in first. Of course, I still won’t share it. I just didn’t realize it.

Here’s another comment abou the pics: That picture of a grown man with the Hulk doll seems a little disturbing. Kind of fetish-like, really. And even the GoBot headquarters is lame. I’m glad they sodomized each other (not the GoBots, although who know about mister Hulk doll).

I don’t even know what that second post was supposed to say. I think the "not" at the end isn’t supposed to be there. Ah, the weekend.

The first picture in the third row - Splinter from the TMNT? That makes up for his absence in the Shrinky-Dinks article. Thanks, Matt!

As for the fifth row, second picture…what the hell is wrong with those kids? The one on the left looks vaguely brain-dead, and his buddy looks like he’s trying to pass a rhinocerous.

One of my earliest memories involves eating Orange Sunkist Fun Fruits fruit snacks and watching Alf. I think I was four years old.

that go bots big robot looks so dull and lifeless, no wonder they didnt compare to transformers

I like the ironic TV Guide ad…the magazine is as wrinkly as The Golden Girls themselves. Got a whole Must See TV Karma thing going on there.

ohhh man why don’t they make those sunkist fruit snack anymore. they had to perfect texture. i want some NOW.

I’m not sure, but I think the kid on the left in #22 is imitating Dana/Gatekeeper from Ghostbusters.

Also, someone is eligible for bonus points for including a shot of Captain Planet getting buttered or golden showered (maybe both?) and a fairly genertic picture of Beetlejuice.

And on yet another topic, I didn’t know they made TV’s as big as the one in #3 in those days. I now feel retroactively jealous of that kid - SMB2 and a gigantic television, lucky prick!

That should read "generic", by the way, not "genetic". Or "genertic", for that matter.

Speaking of fruit snacks with odd textures…has anyone ever had something called "Haribo Build-A-Burger" gummi candy? It’s very weird - each piece is a soft chewy candy welded to a hard gummi shape…soft bun with hard lettuce gummi, soft cheese with hard tomato slice gummi and another soft bun with hard burger gummis. On sale now at Drug Fair.

Beetlejuice! Dude, I used to LOVE that cartoon. Nick used to run re-runs of it every afternoon and I’d positively DIE if I missed it.

Man, Go-Bots getting sodomized, now captain planet getting golden showers. Whats next? Man at Arms, Alf, and Brain Gremlin having a circle jerk? Maybe for Molten you could have Teela, The Baroness, and Rainbow bright.

I’m a planeteer! You can be one too, ’cause saving our planet is the thing to do!

because alaska and hawaii are so damn far away in foreign countries and the exchange rate is terrible

another thing: if this is what Matt puts on his site imagine all the crap that he’s got on his hard drive and in his house.

You know Matt… the New Ninja Turtle playset is kinda cool… Have you checked it out?

Captain Planet…tops on my list of the worst cartoons of all time. Crap animation, preachy plots, and a dorky hero with a mullet. AND two of the worst songs in all cartoondom in the opening and closing themes. "Captain Planet…he’s a hero…gonna take pollution down to zero."

Okay, moment of truth: If, y’know, his girlfriend, and Dorothy Zbornak, and Corey Haim (?) weren’t in the picture, who wouldn’t want to take Matts home to your mom?

Oh yeah, and never had the Sewer Playset but the Technodrome was all ‘dat, a bag o’ chips, AND a Dr. Pepper. With a 7/11 hotdog. Take THAT youze toitles!

Just for Molten? I wouldn’t exactly be complaining about that scene either. Though I’d replace Rainbow Bright with Jem.

Grah, those Nut n’ Honey Crunch commericals. It took me the full run of those things to actually get the joke (how long were they on, 6 or 7 years or something?), and then like a week after I actually got the joke, they stopped airing them.

I miss Little Ceasers way too much. Only pizza that even reselmbled it was the forzen President’s Choice stuff, and they don’t sell that here anymore either. I hope whoever runs the pizza cartel around here gets run over by a giant pepperoni. Jackasses >:

Footloose, Footloose (kick off your Sunday shoes.) Was no one else but me into GIJoe back then?

Captain Planet did indeed suck. The very notion of replacing Bugs Bunny or Kissyfur or Dungeons&Dragons on the Sat. morning lineup with some piece of tripe about the environment is blasphemy. Maybe that’s why King Kong or whoever that is, is spooge-ing all over him

krappy kat: capt planet really did suck. especially the kid with "heart" he was crap

Thanks for suggesting some weekend reading Matt, but I’ve read them already. What was your first article for X-E? I’d really like to dig super deep and find super old stuff =)

AAH! JELLYBEAN BUNNY! I remember those things! My brother had the bunny, and I had Peppermint Kitty! They smelled like real jellybeans and peppermint! :q Mm…

OMFG, I just found a Jesus Christ pog in my closet…… Is this a sign from God, ording me to purchase Testamints?! Which are, BTW, sacriliciously good! (And thus we laugh like maniacal people from Heaven! XD)

I think what may have annoyed me most about Captain Planet was the sheer stupidity of the kids on the show. They shouldn’t have needed Captain Planet anyway, since as far as I could tell he couldn’t actually do anything they couldn’t do on their own.

They each had a ring that allowed them to control the four elements, plus the one kid who’s ring allowed him to talk to animals. And that isn’t enough?? "Ohh, bad guys are cutting burning down the rain forest…oops, the earth swallowed up the bad guys, water from the river doused the flames, and when the last few tried to get away in a helicopter a tornado knocked it out of the sky. And then monkeys ate them."

See? It’s the reverse of the Voltron syndrome, where the idiots tried to fight the Robeast with the individual lions, only to transform into Voltron and defeat the stupid thing in 3 seconds. In this case they didn’t NEED Captain Moron, but they called him anyway.

BTW, Matt, do u know where i can locate a list of roles Michael Bell has done? Ever since the early days of GI Joe, and the recent Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver games, I have been a fan of this man’s work. Bell fscking r0×0rs.

Matt’s first article (under #3, for some reason) was, not suprisingly, about cereal.

Cap Planet is a total faggy dork. The plots were so freakin’ preachy. That & Pup named Scooby were like Hanna & Barbarra’s public service announcements. That heart kid was totally screwed. Of COURSE the Brazillian gets heart, they’re always last when the cool shit gets handed out. We Americans got the bitchin’ FIRE! The one that works EVERYWHERE! Because We’re the BEST! By the way, did anyone else notice there were no Limeys or Aussies on the shoW? Yet the Goddes Naiu (whatever) thinks America, leader in pollution and natural resource consumption would save the world. Dumbass. Good thing she didn’t choose Bush to save us all.

Little Ceaser’s is still around. I saw one when I went to Vegas at the Luxor Food court. It’s where we ate breakfast.

Nice to see that you’re a fan of New Order, Matt… Or at least had (the best of) album booklet lying arround to scan for a neeto-keeno little blog graphic.

"See? It’s the reverse of the Voltron syndrome, where the idiots tried to fight the Robeast with the individual lions, only to transform into Voltron and defeat the stupid thing in 3 seconds. In this case they didn’t NEED Captain Moron, but they called him anyway."

Samurai Pizza Cats anyone? That show ALWAYS ended with wossname doing the katana trick. Of course, SPC could kind of get away with it for being so ludicrous in the first place. And for having a character in the show called Al Dente, which may very well be the coolest name ever.

i remember samurai pizza cats, i never really got into it, i found it a bit dull, but iremember the theme song:

Not 20 feet from where I sit are five Captain Planet Environmental testing kits.

My parents purchased them some years ago, and use one every once in a while in my dads Kindergarten class. Mostly, because they were a cheep source of litmus paper.

So while the show was horrible beyond compare, his products still live on in my basement.

Yeah. Matt needs to do something on pogs so I can pull out my pogs and giggle insanely.

Hmm… for a minute there, I thought the Simpsons screencap was from the commercial for Vizir-brand detergent from France wherein Bart is shown completely nude, and I do mean "completely". You see his little yellow… *ahem*… "Butterfinger", by which I mean one of those very small "fun-sized" Butterfingers you get at Hallowe’en.

And, no, that commercial is not an urban legend… Matt Groening himself showed it to us last year at a live Simpsons script reading at the Just for Laughs comedy festival here in Montreal. "It" is only on the screen for a second, but enough time for your brain to register that you are indeed not seeing things.

We’re the planeteers you can be one too, cuz saving our planets the thing to do… looting and polluting are not the way - heres what captain planet has to say THE POWER IS YOURS!!!!!"

sweet merciful crap, why do i remember that? sometimes when i come home drunk i try to go into the wrong building, and after muttering and cursing for 10 minutes i realize my keys dont work because i dont live there. But even when i’m drunk I remember the "planeteer rap" (as i like to call it) and why the hell did the indian kid have a monkey? i bet that monkey crapped in the other planeteers shoes all the time.

ohhhh pooch partrol. They sure are nifty. I have one still. Im surprised they haven’t shown up here before. I think pooch partrol and skeletor should have an adventure.

All you have to know about Captain Planet and how out of touch it was can be summed up in two words: Blue Mullet.

Did anyone ever notice that it was always the guy from Africa that got to say the Powers Combined line? Always bugged me that he never thought to get them out of caves, etc, by, oh, using the damn EARTH ring.

I agree with Hellpop…this is an idea that would satisfy more than just Molten, but let’s replace Rainbow Bright…not with Jem though…with the Misfits…ooh, no wait…April O’Neal.

Don’t mean to double post…but I wanted to offer my perspective on the Go-Bots pic…I think the kid on the right is ridiculing the kid on the left for having Go-Bots toys in the first place and the kid on the left is rolling his eyes because he’s going to have to explain…again, his fucked up notion that Leader 1 kicks Optimus Prime’s ass any day…well, maybe not kicks…we all saw that clip, after all…

I agree with Hellpop…this is an idea that would satisfy more than just Molten, but let’s replace Rainbow Bright…not with Jem though…with the Misfits…ooh, no wait…April O’Neal.>>

I would recommend Cheetarah (from Thundercats). Not that she’s all that hot, it’s just that she actually allowed us all to see her topless. That’s got to count for something.

Ahh, stuff I remember. Whatever happened to the old "Pizza, pizza" ad campaign? I still have my old Pooch Patrol, the grey one. He’s still a badass! Captain Planet…ugh. That’s all I’ll say about that! Beetlejuice the cartoon was wonderful. Gross and violent. Robotech are great, because they are technically related to Transformers. Any hardcore Transfan will know the connection. Can you name it? I always wanted but never got any M.A.S.K. figures. I’m sad about that. Just to let you all know, I’m probably going to get the Autobot and Decepticon logos tattooed on my shoulders in about a month. Matt, will you never reveal to us the other Photog art? Why do you tease us so, like the Baroness teased me through the TV set? MMM, Baroness. I have to go now.

I had a "Dynomite" magazine that had a story on how they made that comercial for the GoBot Base. After they screened the commercial, the kids kind of liked it, but none could remember what it was called.

Has anyone seen a movie called The Pit or something…It had these goblins in it and some kid in a wheel chair got tossed in this "pit" at the end and was eaten by "trolologs" I have only met 3 other people who have seen it. It was a bad movie that should be reviewed I think. Thats all.

By the way, just to let everyone know, Bob Hope is taking the big dirt nap. Thanks. Also, did anyone see The Venture Brothers on Adult Swim last night? I love that show.

I’m starting a Loser Photog Art Gallery. Please e-mail your losing photogs to hiroshi_doshi@hotmail.com

thanks

My very first job was at Little Ceasar’s Pizza. DO NOT EVER EAT THERE AGAIN!!!!!!! Believe me; do not force me to relive traumatic memories by repeating them. Oh what the hell, just one: After a few hours, pre-prepared dough starts to go icky. Smells like beer. One day we had about 2 pounds of the junk, but instead of throwing it away, we crafted a life-sized dough baby, with olives for eyes and a tomato slice smile. After we baked it, we slashed open it stomach and had peppers mixed with tomato sauce spilling out. (Very realistic baby guts)We put a huge knife into it’s head, spashed tomato sauce all over the walls and basically spent about two hours on the clock creating a grisly baby murder scene. Good fun. That’s not why you shouldn’t eat there, it’s just not a story that you often have an excuse to tell.
If that screencap means there’s an episode of the greatest movie spin off cartoon of all time available for review than I am happy as a clam. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! Remember the one with Edgar Allen Poe?

Bansheex, do you mean Jetfire (Skyfire, as per toy)? THAT was one badass toy. Even if you lost his cool red plastic "clothes" he was hot stuff. Really good cartoon; probably wouldn’t have woke up for high school if weren’t playing on Cartoon Network all those years ago in the early morn. Don’t see what all the fuss is over Gundam when we got Robotech and Voltron

Hey squee, I too did time as a Little Caesar’s employee. My tenure with them lasted about 3 days. They hired me as a delivery driver, then tried to teach me how to make pizzas. When I refused, they grudgingly let me while away my time by folding boxes.

My breaking point came when I was sent to deliver 14 pizzas to the Yankees training facility here in Tampa (not to the Yankees, but to one of their minor league teams). I had to make 3 trips back and forth from my car in the parking lot, down a long hall to the elevator, then down another long hall to the room they were in, and those cheap pricks tipped me $5.

The only Little Caesar’s left in town that I know of is inside a K-Mart. Oddly fitting.

Give that Krappy Kat a prize! Jet/Skyfire is the connection. I wish I had known that they were playing Robotech early in the morning. I probably would have gotten up then. Anyway, I think that the evil Captain Planet, Captain Pollution (ugh) is giving that mullet-wearing freak what for. I never get to say "what for" anymore.

Ranch Fritos were my favorite… I miss them so.
Little Ceasars is in business as much as K-Mart is. The select few K-Marts left in this state ALL have little Ceasars Pizza in them. Some more operational than others. I walked into a K-mart a few weeks ago and found a desolate corner little ceasars stand. It resembled a run down bio lab complete with cash register and oven. With a fully stocked coupon stand filled with ancient buy-one-get-one-free coupons in front, it kinda gave me the creeps. i wish i had my camera, it reminded me of something out of ‘The Comet’complete with the still lit neon sign… well slightly lit anway.

I went to my local k-mart and sure enough they had a little caesars…. but i ordered a pizza to only find out they had NO CRAZY BREAD!!!! Plus they just microwave the same dollar store pizza that most skating rinks give you. I need a PIZZA PIZZA fix!

Yeah, we got to see Cheetarah naked, but she had no nips…that’s just weird…I like my women with nips…that’s why I never got into mannequin love…but wait, some have nips now…I gotta go to the mall…

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Friday, July 25th, 2003 at 4:58 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.