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07/24/2003: New Article: The Hermit Crab!

New Article: In the past, we’ve taken a look at mantis shrimp, Siamese fighting fish, and even chinchillas.  Now it’s time for the amazing hermit crab to have its day in the sun.  Review includes pictures of the crabby pair I just picked up, their cage and food, and the peculiar cartoon character painted on each of their shells.  These guys are actually pretty cool — I’d recommend ‘em to anyone looking for the ultimate in “easy pets.”




WORST.  LUNCHBOX.  EVER.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!


Discussion Thread: 51 comments

Great article on the Hermit Crabs, Matt!  A lot of my friends had them growing up, and I always found them boring, but you have just given me a newfound interest in them.  Especially since they’re so easy to care for (or get rid of them when they meet their fate).  And, yes, that is a pretty heinous lunchbox.

Ghosted by Starving_Artist @ 07/24/2003 7:14 PM EDT

Hermit crabs rule. I think you were a little hard on Jim though. He reminds me of me in high school.

Ghosted by Hellpop! @ 07/24/2003 7:19 PM EDT

I don’t think I could eat anything that came out of that lunch box.  It would be like eating what Randy Savage rejected. Or ejected.

I have always thought that hermit crabs are pretty cool.  The painted shells remind me of some ASPCA-boggling things that people used to do to turtles in pet stores.  Difference? Painted turtle shells lead to a slow painful death. Painted Hermit shell crabs can be altered anytime.  Even more fun, really big ones will live in tin cans and tennis balls (cut a hole out first).

And most bug-pets drink water the same way (from a sponge). Unless drowning tarantulas is your thing.

Ghosted by Sean @ 07/24/2003 7:28 PM EDT

Thank You, Matt.  I have been a card carrying Hermit Crab Man/Woman (care to guess?)  for many years.  I was so happy to discover that you knew of the fun and wonder that Hermit Crabs provide.  Short of Twinkies, nothing lasts longer than Hermit Crabs.  Speaking of long-lasting, how are Ms. Chinny-Chin Chilla, your Japanese Beta, and Mr. Pacu?  You haven’t made any mention of them for awhile.  Could this be the return of the Animalia or Cryptozoo?  I hope so!  Thanks again, Matt.  And don’t forget, I am technically edible too!

Ghosted by Bansheex @ 07/24/2003 7:57 PM EDT

I have to say it. Bettas aren’t Japanese. They aren’t Chinese. They are Siamese, meaning Thailand, meaning SouthEast Asia.

Sorry, I worked in pet stores for 9 years, and that just really bugs me.

Ghosted by Sean @ 07/24/2003 8:34 PM EDT

Thank you for ridding us of that Comedy Central Pop-up. I was sick and tired of hearing about the special relationship that woman and Officer Danko had….I never once let it play through all the way and have no interest in seeing the show because of the annoyance of it.

Ghosted by Garrison @ 07/24/2003 8:34 PM EDT

Garrison - I agree 100%.  I’ve argued many times that I could do more for some of these promotional through actual editorializing than the obtrusive pops — and really, X-E’s readers are understanding enough to not just overlook it if I ever asked them to check something out.  It’s not UGO’s fault, as some have complained.  It’s just what the clients want and believe will work, so it’s an endless compromise.  Hopefully it’ll end up on the side of virtue. ;)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/24/2003 9:20 PM EDT

Sean: you learn something new every day! =D

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/24/2003 9:21 PM EDT

Sean, you are so right.  I couldn’t remember the name, and I didn’t have time to go back and check the article, so I tried to BS my way through it, but failed.  I am useless as a human.  Has anyone else been playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic?  Damn fine playin’  Matt, don’t you like me?  Why do you never answer my questions?  Have I offended you?  I’m sorry if I have.  I just wanted to know how your pets were doing.  Sorry for caring.  Just kill me.  And shove your ass into my shell.  Haha

Ghosted by Bansheex @ 07/24/2003 9:25 PM EDT

Sorry Bansh, we just drank fourteen carafeferessaes of sake and I’m SO WILD AND WOOLY

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/24/2003 9:26 PM EDT

I’m sure if I have something clever to contribute, or a question worth asking, one day Matt will speak to me.

Until then, I’ll continue hiding my own Randy Savage lunch box from you people’s view, because APPARENTLY it’s no longer stylish to snap into Slim Jims.

While wearing bandanas.

Okay, screw you all.

Ghosted by Otaku Queen @ 07/24/2003 9:31 PM EDT

I still think siamese fighting fish are the best pets ever! I have seen those ones at my local mall with glitter on the shell. That lunchbox blows.

p.s. matt do you ever go on aim?

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 07/24/2003 9:34 PM EDT

Again, an excellent article. I now have something to say that has nothing to do with it!

I have a friend who is a ridiculously dedicated to this site as anyone who would ever comment in this blog and her computer won’t let her come here this week! At all. She’s going completely insane, and I keep forgetting and saying things about "charming wooden pineapple bowls."

(9:57:00 PM): Going to do more filing, BECAUSE OF THE TORTURING NON-X-E LIFESTYLE I LIVE.

Ghosted by Kate @ 07/24/2003 10:08 PM EDT

I just looked at the word count of a paper I’ve been writing for two days. At eleven pages, it’s 2,777 words. I’m suddenly very impressed that you can churn out one of these articles one a semi-daily basis.

Ghosted by Basil @ 07/24/2003 10:21 PM EDT

Why’d you pick Jim for his name?

Ghosted by Jim @ 07/24/2003 10:27 PM EDT

Whatever happened to your chinchilla? He was a cool lil fella…I miss him. Or her. Whatever…I still miss the fuzzy thing.

Ghosted by hippo_crates @ 07/24/2003 11:11 PM EDT

The always irrelevant "G&W" here, this time reporting from his BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW Dell Axim X5, and I would like to say that this site looks  pretty god-awful on a Pocket PC.
It’s like Freddy Kruger came up and shredded half the site. Any way to fix that?

Ghosted by "MR.GAME & WATCH" @ 07/25/2003 1:40 AM EDT

Matt, exactly /how many/ pets do you have now? What, a fish… and shrimp… and stuff… do you even have a pet license for your flat? :P Crazy. It seems suspicious that we don’t hear about them after one article… PET KILLER!

Ghosted by Melanie @ 07/25/2003 1:57 AM EDT

Damn you, Matt! You’ve also got "Comin’ Out Of Our Shells" stuck in my head!

Maybe Jim’d relate with TMNT more than the King?

Ghosted by Melanie @ 07/25/2003 2:05 AM EDT

I’m very glad about the video being taken off and the fact that you care enough about your reader’s predicaments/connections and hope that in no way was I being offensive to you or UGO. Any way, great article on hermit crabs, I must agree that I found your animalia sections interesting esp. your mantis shrimp article ( I once went to visit family in Bolivia and found out that the "magnum" type was infamous for not only its danger but its use as a means of torture by some narcotic gangs very interesting ), and your observations on Coenibita clypeatus or Paguristes frontalis, I can’t tell, were quite good. I hope you do more of these in the future. It was almost as entertaining as my hero Stephen Jay Gould but alas I was never able to take his class due to his sad death, I recommend any of his books to readers interested in zoology or funny writing as he was a great writer and a bit of a comic. Have to comment on that lunch box, it is indeed very shitty and that Poffo was never cooler then when he was bitten by Jake Robert’s snake, one of the coolest angles ever. He’s now reduced to suing his ex-valet for using the Gorgeous George moniker while making porn. By the way, Slim Jims suck steroid pumped ass.

Ghosted by Happnin' Mojo @ 07/25/2003 2:14 AM EDT

Slim jims are gross(seeing as theyre 99.9% grease) but i still eat them every once in a while just because part of my brain craves them…

Maybe I’ll get some hermit crabs when my current hamster decides to die…o_O

Ghosted by heeloyd @ 07/25/2003 2:28 AM EDT

Hey Matt, I loved the article. Just thought I’d share a story of my own experiences with hermit crabs…I had a few when I was younger. One day I was putting them into a new cage, and I accidentally dropped one on to the kitchen floor.  It fell out of the shell and then was scrambling all over the floor like a lunatic looking for the shell.  It was fucking amazing.  So if you want to see what they look like without the shell, don’t wait for them to change, just drop them.  Or use one of those things you use to eat a lobster.

Ghosted by Vagina Junction @ 07/25/2003 2:58 AM EDT

hehe bravo matt!  We used to have hermit crabs, I remember when my sisters died I swear to god it smelled like cheerios!  Nope just a dead crap because my sister drawned him when she *misted* him to much.  My mom loved those damn things, dunno why.  She just loved saying *we got crabs* and when we wanted to get rid of the damn things she asked people at work if they *wanted her crabs* needless to say she got some odd looks until she explained lol!!!

Ghosted by Katie @ 07/25/2003 3:42 AM EDT

I love the way you raw us in with kids cereals and toys and then BANG!!!! you educate us about animals when we least expect it.

i remember you mentioned them in a previouse article, they were in a vending machine or something i think?

Don’t you think hasbro made a biiiiiiig mistake by not making hermit crab transformers?

a whole set where the shalls and crabs both transform?

or is it friday and the fumes from toilet cleaner are making me go strange?

Also, are "slim jims" te same as what we brits call "pepperami".  cos why do the americans  get macho man in the adverts, but we only get a silly plastice dancing sausage?

Ghosted by little James @ 07/25/2003 9:11 AM EDT

Indeed, hermit crabs were in fact The Shit.  Looking back they really do have personalities don’t they; my medium one would come out and be social but was fairly laid-back and liked to hang about by the damp sponge; my little one was kind of high strung and would the sprint around the aquarium.  Sort of wish I had a big one; I could give him shell selections of Flinstones vitamin bottles, Black Mammy saltshakers, all kinds of crap

Ghosted by Krappy Kat @ 07/25/2003 9:47 AM EDT

I haven’t posted here in a while, I wonder why, not because I haven’t been entertained by the recent articles, but probably because I saw no need to comment.  anywho, I remeber my cousins had hermit crabs for a while, they were in one of those sealed environments, I only remember seeing it once, wonder how long it lived.

Ghosted by brandon @ 07/25/2003 10:29 AM EDT

Hey, Matt.  Since the crabs’ backsides are backed up in the hard, calcium casing of deceased gastropods, do they poop in their shells?  Or do they burp up their excrement like some sick puppy?  My many years playing with these things in the Gulf of Mexico, and this question only now comes to me.

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 07/25/2003 10:33 AM EDT

almost forgot one of the main reasons I wanted to post today…I’ve noticed that the number of articles being created has dropped off again…hope you’re not getting to disenfranchised with us!  btw, I can’t seem to find anywhere to read the articles you’ve been doing for that newspaper.  CAN ANYONE HELP?

Ghosted by brandon @ 07/25/2003 10:38 AM EDT

So this week we have had: hermit crabs, Skeletor’s minions, Ninja Turtle Shrinky Dinks, and dinosaur oatmeal.  You run a strange site, Matt. 8)

Ghosted by Phantom @ 07/25/2003 10:41 AM EDT

hey matt do you still have your siamese fighting fish?

i got one after reading your article and he is going good.

what i lound out is that he loves to eat live mosquito larve. i catch them from our fish pond in the garden and put them in his fish bowl and he hunts them,

its great fun watching him gobble them up. but now he dosent like
the normal food pellets anymore.

Ghosted by matt @ 07/25/2003 10:55 AM EDT

I used to have a couple of hermit crabs.  I managed to pull them out of their shells (I don’t remember why) and I killed them.  I was seriously sad for like, at least four minutes or something.  Then I realized that I wouldn’t have to clean their cage anymore and everything was o.k.  I’ve come to realize that I’m not much of a pet person.  I’ve got a plant that’s been living for quite a while, though.

Ghosted by NutfuZ @ 07/25/2003 11:21 AM EDT

"Slim Jim: When you don’t care what part of the cow you’re eating!"

cruiz@scotsmanality.com

Ghosted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/25/2003 11:32 AM EDT

Great article Matt!  I’ve never had hermit crabs before but I did have Fiddler Crabs.  Same thing but without the exchangable shells.  Anyway, I can certainly appreciate the quality of life crab gives a person.  That doesn’t sound right but I’ll leave so everyone else can read it.

Ghosted by KoNaX @ 07/25/2003 1:29 PM EDT

Always glad to spread the knowledge I was forced to aquire in the wonderful world of fish retail.

I’ve never kept hermit crabs.  Fiddler crabs (they got eaten by a mudskipper), ghost shrimp and crawdads(they got eaten by fish like this http://members.shaw.ca/scbell/page4.html but feel free to ignore the other pages), and zebra shrimp (they got eaten by my bettas).

I seem to notice a trend with my crustaceans. They weren’t always meant as food.

Ghosted by Sean @ 07/25/2003 1:39 PM EDT

Loved the hermit crab article! I kept up to five hermit crabs (I got a little carried away) about a year ago, but they died off pretty quickly. For those of you interested, here’s a link to a woman who has had the same hermit crab for 24 years:
http://www.geocities.com/hermit_crabs/carol/gallery.htm

Ghosted by Rabid Child @ 07/25/2003 3:33 PM EDT

Photog?

Ghosted by Bitnerite @ 07/25/2003 4:41 PM EDT

I agree Bitnerite

Ghosted by Big Will @ 07/25/2003 4:58 PM EDT

photog isnt a hermit crab is he?  i thought he was part man part camera

Ghosted by little james @ 07/25/2003 6:25 PM EDT

I can truthfully say that this article has converted me. I don’t believe hermit crabs are very popular pets here in backward Europe, but by Jove I will find some! To hell with my aquarium (damn fish only die anyway, except for the omnivorous mini-shark I’ve got, which is like 100 years old by now and eats dead fishies as well as algae), I’ve got to get me a terrarium and some of those hellacool crabs!

Ghosted by JC @ 07/25/2003 7:52 PM EDT

Nachokhaki, I seem to remember little mini-turds appearing here and there, so I’m positive that they use their legs or the little claw to reach around and clean house.  I think they even eat their own and each other’s poo; damn pervert crabs.

Ghosted by Krappy Kat @ 07/26/2003 2:30 AM EDT

In all fairness to Jim, I would probably also hide if I suddenly found myself surounded by those… things.

Ghosted by The Waffle Man @ 07/26/2003 5:53 AM EDT

i once owned a couple of regular crabs, but they didnt do much except die :(

Ghosted by little James @ 07/27/2003 1:58 PM EDT

I want a hermit crab now. Maybe two. Maybe several hundred. Then I could stage gladitorial fights between them.

Ghosted by marril159 @ 07/27/2003 6:04 PM EDT

Yep, im playing Knights of the Old Republic, when im not online playing Star Wars Galaxies.  (If you are on the Eclipse server, say hi to my character Dairugger , who is well on his way to either being an Imperial, a Rebel, a Creature Handler, a Pistoleer, a Scout, or a mentally unbalanced fellow who thinks he is the Megapope of Talus..)

And they DID make a Crab transformer.  Beast Wars Transmetal Rampage.  Big nasty fellow.  Bit of a sociopath in the cartoon.  There are a couple other crustaceans in the Beast Wars line too, I just forget their names…

Ghosted by Bloodcat @ 07/28/2003 5:38 AM EDT

Bloodcat, I have a 10 year-old Mac, so I don’t play anything on-line or on the computer.  I can’t even see this site until I go to work.  Is Knights of the Old Republic not the shiznit?  I love HK 47.  I now call many people "meatbags"  as well as talk like Rampage and Inferno from Beast Wars.  For the Glory of the Royalty!

Ghosted by Bansheex @ 07/28/2003 4:47 PM EDT

I just got HK last night as I went to Kasshyk first.  I love hearing about how the Czerka corp is having "Troubles" on that planet now….

WOOKIE FREEDOM!!!

I havent used HK yet, but Mission and Bastilla helped me get my ass handed to me by the first group of Sandpeople we met.  And then it was bedtime, if 430 AM can be considered bedtime.

Its like every day now is a moral dilemma: Do I play KOTOR or Star Wars Galaxies?  It was even worse last week because I finally picked up Harry Potter Order of the Pheonix, and IT didnt want to let its steely claws out of me either!

So much geeky goodness, so little time..

Ghosted by Bloodcat @ 07/28/2003 7:46 PM EDT

Definatly go with KOTOR.  Use HK, and talk to him.  Don’t use Mission and Bastilla, use Carth and HK to give those sand bastards what for.  Incidentially, 4:30 is about my KOTOR limit as well.  Except for that one day I played from 10:30 p.m. to 11:30 a.m., non-stop.

Ghosted by Bansheex @ 07/29/2003 4:37 PM EDT

ok so,this is late.  Anyway, my dad just bought a lunchbox just like that for my daughter. He paid 10 cents at a yard sale. I don’t think he realized the ol’ Macho Man doesn’t wrestle anymore and she had no idea who the guy on the box was.  Also we have 2 stupid hermit crabs, named 1 and 2, because I didn’t want to think up names for them.

Ghosted by candybar @ 07/30/2003 3:03 AM EDT

I decided to just go off to Korriban, which was MUCH easier on me at 15th level, NPCs at 13th..

Now I have some better gear and another exp level.

Now I shall kick some sandpeople ass.

Ghosted by Bloodcat @ 07/30/2003 11:51 PM EDT

Matt, you were the one who coined the term "grayskull crabs right? Cuz someone said that when I was looking at these lil mofos in the mall, Bay Area, Cali.  Man, X-E fans are everywhere….
>.>
< .<
o_o
/).(\

Ghosted by Loki @ 09/21/2003 1:44 PM EDT

Matt, can you IP ban them and report them?
Kids go to this site.

Ghosted by Insta-Ban! @ 11/04/2004 7:59 PM EST

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