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Fort Max Commercial + Tripletripe.

Hey hey hey. Got a letter from VH-1 about appearing in some kinda show, but the catch is that I believe it was concerning my Halloween decorations article for a feature about obsessive pop decor. I'm not sure I'm prepared to make a television debut overstating my love for rubber bats, because honestly, rubber bats aren't what really makes my world go round. Oh well -- either way, this is the umpteenth time I've been contacted from some TV station or show or producer or whatnot, and I've grown pretty skeptical whenever those e-mails hit. After going through a rigorous series of BS setup questions, (Do you think you're TV friendly? Would we have to fly you in? Are you available at any time, or are you more seasonal? You're white, right?) they'll usually just end contact anyway. Besides, I like what I do, but I don't want to pretend I'm "that guy" just to gather thirty-five assorted hits from a ten-second spot. I'm rambling -- it's that whole procrastination thing again.

I've removed the pop-ups/popovers from the blog, at least until something can be figured out since many in the current crop are load-stoppers. I'm hoping this'll be rectified soon -- X-E's visitors have been pretty understanding about the ads on the whole, but I can't justify the ones that make readers have to reload a page fifty times to get it up to completion. Oi -- anyway, enjoy the pop-free blog. The next article should be up before 5, and it's got claws. Really, really small claws. Hmmm.

:o Super Bonus! :o Remember "Fortress Maximus," the largest of the Transformers? Click here to download & watch his original Hasbro commercial, with kids going absolutely insane over his 3,000 doors, guns, and heads that transform into more robots. If you're not wise to the lore, Max is as expensive as they come -- boxed editions can go for over 500 these days.

Posted by Matt on 07/24/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 46 comments

Matt, you seem to be very tv friendly anyways…you are a lot like Conan o’brian…well…at least i see similaritys, anyone else. Who knows…maybe you’ll get your own short lived talk show and some kid in 20 years will be reviewing your vh-1 talk show. Now, lets all work on a title for your show. How about..um…ok…so x-entertainment would be a fine name for a show too. You lucky dog.

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 07/24/2003 3:53 PM


Matt, you owe it to yourself to be on television. It seems to be the next logical media outlet after the internet, and I doubt many of your readers would really consider you a sell-out. Especially if it’s just a segment of you espousing the virtues of rubber bats on VH-1. The key is just to get really drunk before they turn the cameras on. That’d be comedy gold for sure.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 07/24/2003 4:15 PM


If I had any balls I’d dress up like Madd Matt as someone suggested up there, and pretend to be psychotically obsessed with Halloween decorations. I’m not really sure I have any balls, though. Isn’t that why people have websites?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/24/2003 4:18 PM


Matt-

Who needs balls when there are liquor stores? i think youd be an even bigger hit on vh1 if you were shitfaced AND dressed as Madd Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Julia Badtouch @ 07/24/2003 4:44 PM


"You’re white, right?" They really ask you crap like that? Ugh. Still, I say do it, Madd Matt shtick and all. Could be the start of a fabulous acting career — at the very least I’m sure you could get a part in Soul Survivors II or Scooby Doo III… although I could also see you in a new superhero action/comedy film as Crispin Glover’s sidekick…

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 07/24/2003 5:27 PM


Maybe this vh-1 blog should become a pro/con article. Eh matt, eh eh eh?

Oo…was that toy Bruno, my pet monster truck related to My pet Monster? Or am I just adding the My Pet Monster Truck part to the name Bruno. or visa versa. Either way…they sell a really cheap-ass remake of it at Fred’s Discount store. I miss Bruno, My pet monster truck :(

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 07/24/2003 5:28 PM


You should definately do it, and from there you should see a bidding war start for the first X-E coffee table book; with Matt action figure included. I still want to see you on a show like Jimmy Kimmel that could bring the news to Nate over in Iraq that there is a cult waiting for the return of their glorius leader.

Here is my list I posted before for shows that might be interested in Photog, with some new shows added, that might also just cover the site:

Jimmy Kimmel is the best chance for a talk show since he has already had other various internet people on like angrynakedpat.com’s Andy Milonakis
http://www.abc.abcnews.go.com/primetime/jimmykimmel/senditin.html

*Tom Green now has a nightly talk show on MTV that looks like it needs guests.
http://www.mtv.com/onair/tomgreen/new_tom_green/talk_back/#

Egg
egg@thirteen.org
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/egg/find.html

*There are four shows on MTV.
Big Urban Myth:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/big_urban_myth/
True Life:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/truelife/
MADE:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/made/
Twisted:
I could not find a link since this is a new show but the episode I watched was a documentary about the first Jewish Playmate and the guy who sold his life and belongings on the internet as perfomance art(http://www.allmylifeforsale.com).

I found the rest of the talk shows at:
http://www.interbridge.com/lineups.html#JKL

Late Show with David Letterman:
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/ Click on "Show Info," then "E-Mail Us."

Tonight Show with Jay Leno: No public e-mail address; write to Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W. Alameda Ave., Burbank, CA 91523

Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Link to the E-Mail Craig Kilborn page http://www.cbs.com/latenight/latelate/email.shtml

Late Night with Conan O’Brien: funnyontv@aol.com
write to Late Night with Conan O’Brien, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY 10112

Last Call with Carson Daly: lastcall@nbc.com

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: thedailyshow@comedycentral.com

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/24/2003 6:01 PM


Hey speaking of a Matt action figure, why haven’t any of the custom figure people out there cranked one out?

Maybe they ARE making them, but are using them for…unsavory purposes.

If you go on TV you should demand that Fat Daddy get to appear with you. Fat Daddy rules.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/24/2003 7:27 PM


Yeah, another great idea, Matt with his own talk show, filled with obscure figures in pop culture. Fat Daddy could be his Co-Host!

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/24/2003 8:21 PM


Damn you for bringing up Fat Daddy! Matt, go for it, be a media whore! I’d watch, sho’nuff!

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/24/2003 9:21 PM


Go for it Matt, I still think VH1 should’ve had you on "I Love The 80′s".

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 07/24/2003 10:15 PM


Matt, you should at least be a consultant behind the scenes of these shows and that way you can keep your privacy, sort of.

Have you ever thought of reporting for a magazine show, or doing blurbs for those popular magazines for men, like FH-Max-Stuf?

Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 07/24/2003 11:17 PM


What? With those sunglasses, Matt doesn’t need any damn privacy! It’s practically built in! Superman did it with glasses, and you have the step-up! TINTED glasses.

Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 07/25/2003 2:03 AM


Let me holla at cha playa. I have a piece of paper in front of me, which might I add is white. No coincidence there. And I quote *ahem* "After going through a rigorous series of BS setup questions, (Do you think you’re TV friendly? Would we have to fly you in? Are you available at any time, or are you more seasonal? You’re white, right?)"
Do you see what I’m tryin ta say in quoting you playa? They wanna know that you white. You see VH-1 aint nothing but a subdivision of Whitey Inc. Beelee dat playa. You got all dees Amy Grant videos from VH-1 and Bangles videos that was safe in the 80′s. They wanted to be sucka free. And by sucka I mean the African Americans they left out the door. Beelee dat playa. Now all day want to do is be modern and change it from Whitey central, to "Mo Betta VH-1" What kinda cotton picken name is that for a show about black music? Now they want you to talk about your plastic bats. You see Matt, they want the house negro to sing and whitey to talk. Beelee dat playa. So if you have an ounce of soul in your body playa. I see you turnin they down like the crack ass scoundrels that they is. Beelee dat playa.

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore R. Long @ 07/25/2003 4:41 AM


apart from "cotton pickin’" that was a very good impression.

i tell you what though. I dont think telly would give matt the same freedom as the web. and maybe he cant speak.

an x-e book would be cool.
kinda like how wrestle crap did one. but it wont keep growing like x-e will it?

Chestnuts roasted by little James @ 07/25/2003 9:16 AM


Hey thats true, Ive never heard any audio or video samples of Matt on the site, has he ever done it for an article? Anyway go for the Telivision thing, Sounds like a great opportunity and shouldn’t be passed down. Seeya!

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin T @ 07/26/2003 1:49 AM


Daaaaamn, I think u should go for it Matt. Granted, it would have been infinitly better to put you on "I Love the 80′s"…or maybe a commentor on "Top 200 Pop Idols", but I would kill my ex-boyfriend and sell his parts for aphrodesisacs in China to see u on the tube. I’ve been reading X-Entertainment since before ur archives were messed up. Ever gone to an anime convention? U could prolly do a panel at Fanime next year. That’d rock.

Chestnuts roasted by Dio @ 07/26/2003 7:06 PM


I could definitely see Matt on TV, but i’d stay away from VH1 if I were you. I lost all faith in them with this ridiculous Top 200 Pop Icons list. #1 goes to Oprah freakin’ Winfrey? I will never understand the fascination with that woman and her TV show. And if they were only going to include one wrestler it should’ve been Hulk Hogan, not The Rock. It seems to me like they focus too much on the past five years. Do folks like J-Lo and the Friends cast really belong in the Top 20 Icons of all time? I wonder who Matt would list as the greatest Pop Icon ever?

Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 07/27/2003 5:40 PM


Presumably no one at VH1 has heard your voice, so talk like Skeletor AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Chestnuts roasted by ineptitude @ 07/29/2003 1:55 PM


Heh, fortress maximus, sounds like the name of your butt muscles. Yes I truly am a humorless fat slug.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. nummies @ 08/26/2003 8:39 PM


Anyone know some good sites that sell/buy/trade old toys? I am looking for The Animal. It was a truck that was battery operated and when it got stuck on something claws would come out of the tires. Thanks for any replys.

Chestnuts roasted by Guardian @ 11/05/2003 5:51 AM


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