The X-Entertainment Blog!

07/24/2003: Fort Max Commercial + Tripletripe.

Hey hey hey. Got a letter from VH-1 about appearing in some kinda show, but the catch is that I believe it was concerning my Halloween decorations article for a feature about obsessive pop decor. I’m not sure I’m prepared to make a television debut overstating my love for rubber bats, because honestly, rubber bats aren’t what really makes my world go round. Oh well — either way, this is the umpteenth time I’ve been contacted from some TV station or show or producer or whatnot, and I’ve grown pretty skeptical whenever those e-mails hit. After going through a rigorous series of BS setup questions, (Do you think you’re TV friendly? Would we have to fly you in? Are you available at any time, or are you more seasonal? You’re white, right?) they’ll usually just end contact anyway. Besides, I like what I do, but I don’t want to pretend I’m “that guy” just to gather thirty-five assorted hits from a ten-second spot. I’m rambling — it’s that whole procrastination thing again.

I’ve removed the pop-ups/popovers from the blog, at least until something can be figured out since many in the current crop are load-stoppers. I’m hoping this’ll be rectified soon — X-E’s visitors have been pretty understanding about the ads on the whole, but I can’t justify the ones that make readers have to reload a page fifty times to get it up to completion. Oi — anyway, enjoy the pop-free blog. The next article should be up before 5, and it’s got claws. Really, really small claws. Hmmm.

Super Bonus! Remember “Fortress Maximus,” the largest of the Transformers? Click here to download & watch his original Hasbro commercial, with kids going absolutely insane over his 3,000 doors, guns, and heads that transform into more robots. If you’re not wise to the lore, Max is as expensive as they come — boxed editions can go for over 500 these days.

Sadly, I don’t remember that hulking transformer thing. Ninja Turtles were my main focus back in the day. Hmmm… I picked up one of those new transformers; is it me or kids nowadays much more dexterious then we were?

Hmmm a new article with claws eh ? Is it that weird remote control truck that had claws that came out of the tires to help it climb things???? Anyone remember what the name of that thing was ?

VH1…. go for it matt. sell your self out. I for one won’t mind. As long as you create limited edition shirts that say: I knew X-E before it got popular. And you only sold like 100 of them. So then when it get’s all big, I can wear that shirt, and people will look up to me… or down on me.

Brand New (a really rad band) recently did something like this. Put out a shirt that says "I liked brand new before you knew how to whipe your own ass" Now I can wear it to a show, and people will realize that I am cooler than them.

really, I’m just rambling. Go for VH1 Matt… it’s your destiny. thanks for no more pop-ups.

tiny claws….. tiny…. i doubt you would write an entire article about one single action fingure… althoug you did have a short about Ace Duck a while ago. I am stumped.

I kinda agree with Chad. Go for VH-1. Yeah, they are lame, but it could only further your quest to be a pop culture god.

You know i swear i used to have Fortress Maximus, but i remember him being a shitload smaller and being all white as opposed to white and purple. Am i thinking of a different Transformer, or did was my mother trying to fob me off with a broken, second hand Maxiumus? @_o

You’re thinking of a different transformer. I had about 75% of all of the transformers, including Fortress Maximus, Omega Supreme and Skorpinok. Still got that last one.

BTW, on a side note, if you hit google and type in OMEGA SUPREME, the very first link is x-entertainment. GO MATT!

Mr. Eff, I think you’re thinking of Metroplex, who was a big white city, but much smaller and less door having than Fort Max. Still, he was pretty neat and you could have Bumblebee/Cliffjumper/Gears et al drive around him. Or his little black transforming car guy. Here’s some pics from the cartoon: http://www.seibertron.com/cart.../2010/cybertrons/Metroplex.php
I’ve actually got a Metroplex staring down on me from the shelf in my office. Sure, he’s missing a hand and a shoulder gun and his car and several guns, but he’s still pretty threatening. He keeps me in line in these times of moral turpitude.
On the VH-1 kick, Matt, I’m surprised you weren’t (seriously) asked to be on I love the 80’s. Because, seriously, you’re much funnier than Henry Rollins.

1) being asked to comment on 1 vh1 show generally means you will then be appearing on every countdown and "greatest " program for the next 10 years. just like Joe Levy. Who the hell is he anyway?? all i know is hes on every effing vh1 show and that i saw him at k-mart once(incidentally at the very same kmart I also saw joey ramone on more than once occasion-but now i’m just rambling.)

2) if vh1 was really worth your time they would have wanted you on the "I love the 80s." show. i mean really thats a no brainer.

VH1 huh? I say you hold out til you get an offer from Lifetime. That’s quality television. Where else can you see TV movies starring Judith Light EVERY FREAKIN WEEK?!

Bonus points if you don’t tell them that you’re going to do it that way until they show up with the camera.

Advice sought: What’s the best toy out now (within the $25-$35 price range) for a 2 yr old boy? I have to buy my nephew a Christmas gift. Yes, I know it’s July, but I’m not a very good uncle.

A two-year-old? Damn that’s tougher than a four-year-old. :) I’d probably go for one of those mini-sized ballpits, usually sold at TRU. Should be in your range. If not, they sell oversized "Hungry Hungry Hippos" wagons that are sized for two-year-olds to ride and chase around an included pack of balls. Basically, I’m telling you to get the kid something to do with balls. Let him get it out of his system early.

Oh yeah, I meant Madd Matt, not zombie. I should at least get my X-E lore right, if I’m going to try to reference it.

The Hippos thing is verrrry cool, I’ve actually planned on reviewing it. It’s only 20 bucks, but the box is huge so you’ll look like a hero when you arrive with it. Those who haven’t heard the price will assume it cost more than 20, so you’ll score some brownie points with whomever the boy’s parents are. See how important this is?

Metroplex! Now its all coming flooding back, thanks guys

Damn i miss him :’( hehe.

They’re doing the "I Love the 70’s" show, but you’re more 80’s. Can’t believe they didn’t call you in to hang out with Mo Rocca and the Dice Man.

I say do it. At the very least, you can make some more cash to buy more amusing crap with, eh?

Small claws? Huh. I have a number of thoughts running through my head, but I’m not gonna count on any of them as I’m usually wrong.

Man, if only Matt HAD been on I Love The 80’s… I would have found the glory that is X-E so much sooner!

Seems to me like you would have been a perfect fit for the "I Love the Eighties" series on VH1.

Hey since Spike TV is looking for new programs, why not let Matt bring the adventures of skeletor to prime time! How awesome would it be to see that instead of dumb stripper cartoons and ren and stimpy having gay sex?!

Matt, you seem to be very tv friendly anyways…you are a lot like Conan o’brian…well…at least i see similaritys, anyone else. Who knows…maybe you’ll get your own short lived talk show and some kid in 20 years will be reviewing your vh-1 talk show. Now, lets all work on a title for your show. How about..um…ok…so x-entertainment would be a fine name for a show too. You lucky dog.

Matt, you owe it to yourself to be on television. It seems to be the next logical media outlet after the internet, and I doubt many of your readers would really consider you a sell-out. Especially if it’s just a segment of you espousing the virtues of rubber bats on VH-1. The key is just to get really drunk before they turn the cameras on. That’d be comedy gold for sure.

If I had any balls I’d dress up like Madd Matt as someone suggested up there, and pretend to be psychotically obsessed with Halloween decorations. I’m not really sure I have any balls, though. Isn’t that why people have websites?

Who needs balls when there are liquor stores? i think youd be an even bigger hit on vh1 if you were shitfaced AND dressed as Madd Matt.

"You’re white, right?" They really ask you crap like that? Ugh. Still, I say do it, Madd Matt shtick and all. Could be the start of a fabulous acting career — at the very least I’m sure you could get a part in Soul Survivors II or Scooby Doo III… although I could also see you in a new superhero action/comedy film as Crispin Glover’s sidekick…

Oo…was that toy Bruno, my pet monster truck related to My pet Monster? Or am I just adding the My Pet Monster Truck part to the name Bruno. or visa versa. Either way…they sell a really cheap-ass remake of it at Fred’s Discount store. I miss Bruno, My pet monster truck

You should definately do it, and from there you should see a bidding war start for the first X-E coffee table book; with Matt action figure included. I still want to see you on a show like Jimmy Kimmel that could bring the news to Nate over in Iraq that there is a cult waiting for the return of their glorius leader.

Here is my list I posted before for shows that might be interested in Photog, with some new shows added, that might also just cover the site:

Tonight Show with Jay Leno: No public e-mail address; write to Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W. Alameda Ave., Burbank, CA 91523

Late Night with Conan O’Brien: funnyontv@aol.com
write to Late Night with Conan O’Brien, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY 10112

Hey speaking of a Matt action figure, why haven’t any of the custom figure people out there cranked one out?

If you go on TV you should demand that Fat Daddy get to appear with you. Fat Daddy rules.

Yeah, another great idea, Matt with his own talk show, filled with obscure figures in pop culture. Fat Daddy could be his Co-Host!

Damn you for bringing up Fat Daddy! Matt, go for it, be a media whore! I’d watch, sho’nuff!

Matt, you should at least be a consultant behind the scenes of these shows and that way you can keep your privacy, sort of.

Have you ever thought of reporting for a magazine show, or doing blurbs for those popular magazines for men, like FH-Max-Stuf?

What? With those sunglasses, Matt doesn’t need any damn privacy! It’s practically built in! Superman did it with glasses, and you have the step-up! TINTED glasses.

Let me holla at cha playa. I have a piece of paper in front of me, which might I add is white. No coincidence there. And I quote *ahem* "After going through a rigorous series of BS setup questions, (Do you think you’re TV friendly? Would we have to fly you in? Are you available at any time, or are you more seasonal? You’re white, right?)"
Do you see what I’m tryin ta say in quoting you playa? They wanna know that you white. You see VH-1 aint nothing but a subdivision of Whitey Inc. Beelee dat playa. You got all dees Amy Grant videos from VH-1 and Bangles videos that was safe in the 80’s. They wanted to be sucka free. And by sucka I mean the African Americans they left out the door. Beelee dat playa. Now all day want to do is be modern and change it from Whitey central, to "Mo Betta VH-1" What kinda cotton picken name is that for a show about black music? Now they want you to talk about your plastic bats. You see Matt, they want the house negro to sing and whitey to talk. Beelee dat playa. So if you have an ounce of soul in your body playa. I see you turnin they down like the crack ass scoundrels that they is. Beelee dat playa.

i tell you what though. I dont think telly would give matt the same freedom as the web. and maybe he cant speak.

an x-e book would be cool.
kinda like how wrestle crap did one. but it wont keep growing like x-e will it?

Hey thats true, Ive never heard any audio or video samples of Matt on the site, has he ever done it for an article? Anyway go for the Telivision thing, Sounds like a great opportunity and shouldn’t be passed down. Seeya!

Daaaaamn, I think u should go for it Matt. Granted, it would have been infinitly better to put you on "I Love the 80’s"…or maybe a commentor on "Top 200 Pop Idols", but I would kill my ex-boyfriend and sell his parts for aphrodesisacs in China to see u on the tube. I’ve been reading X-Entertainment since before ur archives were messed up. Ever gone to an anime convention? U could prolly do a panel at Fanime next year. That’d rock.

I could definitely see Matt on TV, but i’d stay away from VH1 if I were you. I lost all faith in them with this ridiculous Top 200 Pop Icons list. #1 goes to Oprah freakin’ Winfrey? I will never understand the fascination with that woman and her TV show. And if they were only going to include one wrestler it should’ve been Hulk Hogan, not The Rock. It seems to me like they focus too much on the past five years. Do folks like J-Lo and the Friends cast really belong in the Top 20 Icons of all time? I wonder who Matt would list as the greatest Pop Icon ever?

Presumably no one at VH1 has heard your voice, so talk like Skeletor AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Heh, fortress maximus, sounds like the name of your butt muscles. Yes I truly am a humorless fat slug.

Anyone know some good sites that sell/buy/trade old toys? I am looking for The Animal. It was a truck that was battery operated and when it got stuck on something claws would come out of the tires. Thanks for any replys.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2003 at 8:41 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.