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Spongebob Vs. Hulk.



Survived the 4th -- now I just gotta figure out what to do with the ten thousand leftover cocktail umbrellas. There were far fewer fireworks going off in my neighborhood than in past years, something I attribute mainly to New York's slow descent into a more loosely organized Attica for taxpayers. In any event, it was pretty damned hot out and I think I found a way to even sweat out my teeth. Teeth sweat's pretty cool actually - real easy to conceal and you don't have to wash anything later. Here's today's article...

It's Spongebob Squarepants versus the Incredible Hulk in the Amazing Popsicle Battle, where the winner is crowned only after one of the combatants melts to death. It's an interesting study in which color of sugar ice is the most durable, but if you're looking for something with a little more punch, I'll mention that both contestants lose their gumball eyes along the way. Full coverage in the post, go read it.

Posted by Matt on 07/06/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 52 comments

funny!

Duh plants are green to absorb solar energy plus spongebob is yellow and reflects away the yellow light of our yellow sun. Totally fixed!

Stick ‘em in the fuggin microwave!

Chestnuts roasted by k.jk;b;b @ 07/07/2003 1:33 PM

I know a many many many people were interested in seeing the losing photog entries a many many many moons ago…so heres mine, yea! Just click on my name to go to the page to see them. Thank you and goodnite. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 07/07/2003 1:52 PM

great stuff matt, this article enlightened me, yet i dont feel this article answers the question "if you shave an ewok down to its bare skin, what would it look like?" or "is inbreedin a usual practice among jedis"

Chestnuts roasted by Alabama Man @ 07/07/2003 2:17 PM

very entertaining article matt! best one i’ve read in months, you should try to do ones like this more often.

Chestnuts roasted by pupitre @ 07/07/2003 2:56 PM

Damned disturbing.
What the hell happened to our nation’s ice cream men? I live in an area that routinely reaches 120 freaking degrees in the shade, and have yet to see a single ice cream purveyor this summer. I’m being deprived of Hulk flavored lemonade shaped confections!
As a public service, I spent my Independence Day taking photographs of fireworks for the poor souls who were cheated out of their God given right to watch explosives. Enjoy: http://www.angelfire.com/jazz/space_cowboy/july.html

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/07/2003 3:25 PM

Hey, everybody. Got a few e-mails about the shirt. I still need more interest to get those Photog t-shirts going. I love Spongebob Squarepants with the Satanic bleeding eyes. It’s great. Anyone who wants the shirts drop me a line. bansheex@hotmail.com Especially you Matt. PLEASE DON’T LET THIS DIE!

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/07/2003 4:35 PM

Fuck Mac and Me

Chestnuts roasted by Don Vito Corleone @ 07/07/2003 4:50 PM

Now that’s not very nice. Time out for you. Fuck Nukie is what you should say. right?

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/07/2003 5:22 PM

That article was ridiculously funny.

Of course my humor is twisted from working in an ice cream booth selling those all day. I was just overjoyed to see those things die so painfully.

Chestnuts roasted by George @ 07/07/2003 5:23 PM

Mac and Me wasn’t even entertaining. Not even in the bad way.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 07/07/2003 8:46 PM

Mac and Me is very entertaining in its audacity of using McDonald’s and Coca-Cola promotions; while hiding behind the casting of an actual handicapped kid, from a Ronald McDonald House, in the lead role of a blatant E.T. rip-off. The dance scene in the McDonald’s proved that no one working on the movie seemed to care that it was way too close to an actual commercial for the fast food restaurant. The movie was made for X-E readers.

I am still waiting for Burger King to bring back the actual Burger King in a straight-to-video feature.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 07/07/2003 9:10 PM

Matt, don’t know if you’ve seen them yet, but I stopped by Sam’s Club tonight to buy a barrel of pens and a cubic ton of tuna fish, and saw the Hulk Talking Mask/Hulk Hands combo set! Almost bought one, then remembered I’m almost 30 f’in years old and came back to my senses.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/07/2003 9:37 PM

Well, Spongebob might have beaten Hulk in this particular contest, but there’s still one area where Hulk clearly has the advantage: http://www.thesun.co.uk//article/0,,2-2003310256,00.html

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/07/2003 11:27 PM

Damn, just noticed Draven beat me to posting that link.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/07/2003 11:29 PM

That was amaaaaazing.
(Made me think of us po’ winners of the photog….wait. Never you mind. I forgot. There is no second place.)

(so sad….no one will get to see my Photog cartoony fun.)

Chestnuts roasted by Child-Like Mentality @ 07/08/2003 7:43 AM

Yeah. I was well aware of the reflection thing with Spongebob, so I was cheering him on from the start. But when Matt mentioned he had really bumpy sides, I was a little concerned. Nevertheless, he still won. And how.
The ice cream man in this area goes about 35 mph down the street. I’m not joking, either. If you want ice cream, you have to be standing street-side with your $2.50 in your hand, jumping up and down while shouting to get it. I haven’t been ambitious enough to try it yet, but after reading this article I might have to start digging for loose change.

Chestnuts roasted by William @ 07/08/2003 10:05 AM

No, I meant fuck Mac and Me.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael Corleone @ 07/08/2003 12:13 PM

You mean have sex with Mac and yourself, or what? I don’t get it. And we don’t need that potty mouth. Watch what the fuck you say. There are melting popsiciles in the article. By the by, I bought a Spongebob thingimijig today, and couldn’t stop thinking about X-E. Then I sucked his eyes out. Very satifying. I wonder how long it takes Photog to melt?

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/08/2003 8:16 PM

Has anyone else seen the inflatable Hulk muscles, they would go great with the hulk hands. Too bad you have to be 8 or a midget to where them.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 07/09/2003 2:17 AM

After reading that today, I was at a 7-11 and got a Wolverine icy pop. He had 2 yellow gumballs for eyes, which didnt really go with his purple hair. He was cherry, and far too drippy.

Chestnuts roasted by Satch @ 07/09/2003 7:22 AM

I don’t know if anyone’s reading down here anymore, but the inflatable Hulk muscles are nothing new. I remember as a kid (and it’s my birthday today:) they had something like that. It was still Hulk, but I think it only "pumped up" your chest.

I would also think the "Hulk Hands" would be theraputic. Huge foam hands that you can pound the wall with when your angry, and if your the quiet type will even do the yelling for you? I’m thinking about getting one of these things. :D

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 07/13/2003 12:41 PM

After readign this article, I have no choice but report Matt to the American Society for the Sessation of Ice Cream Kruelty (ASSPICK).

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 07/15/2003 3:58 PM

I can’t find what I’m looking for

Chestnuts roasted by Roman Valdez @ 10/27/2003 1:45 PM

I can’t find what I’m looking for

Chestnuts roasted by Roman Valdez @ 10/27/2003 1:45 PM

I can’t find what I’m looking for

Chestnuts roasted by Roman Valdez @ 10/27/2003 1:45 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 6th, 2003 at 5:44 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.