

Survived the 4th -- now I just gotta figure out what to do with the ten thousand leftover cocktail umbrellas. There were far fewer fireworks going off in my neighborhood than in past years, something I attribute mainly to New York's slow descent into a more loosely organized Attica for taxpayers. In any event, it was pretty damned hot out and I think I found a way to even sweat out my teeth. Teeth sweat's pretty cool actually - real easy to conceal and you don't have to wash anything later. Here's today's article...

Posted by Matt on 07/06/2003. E-mail me!










Chestnuts roasted by 







This is the scariest article ever, Matt. Seriously, Spongebob and the Hulk melting like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark will haunt my dreams forever.