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07/01/2003: Tuesday Mystery Picture Gawwowee.

(click to enlarge)

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 53 comments

And Krappy Kat kicks off!

in response to the ones I know and are interested in:

-good ole’ Gnaw the Sharkticon. The Movie really spawned some winners that year.
-What the fuck is that horrible moldy green pig?! Is it decaying?
-Good ole’ Eternia; the great playset that, like the Flagg, no one actually had.
-And you, Screech; wish you’d never been born, my friend. It was partly those dumb ‘live action’ teeny shows that slowly killed off our beloved cartoons and replaced them with total crap. I remember actually waking up on Sat. mornings earlier than for school days just to make sure I got Kissyfur and Dungeons&Dragons and all that stuff squeezed into my little eyeballs every damn week. Don’t remember what it was, but Saved by the Bell killed something I really loved to make room, and to make matters worse, it quickly turned into Seinfeld in terms of school discussions; you had to watch it to be cool and it sucked. No wonder kids today are such messes. (can’t wait to hear the really weird stuff I ramble about when I become a bitter old man!)

Posted by Krappy Kat @ 07/01/2003 9:08 AM EDT

ok, gotta start off with this… i was at the NJDMV for an eternity yesterday, and I didn’t quite catch the first name, but I did here "BITNER" proclaimed very clearly over the PA system…

as for the pictures: the turtles logo, a GI Joe(?), the creepy moldy pig, THE ETERNIA PLAYSET (I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THIS EXISTED AND I WAS A HUUUUUUGE HEMAN FAN!!!), as for the next four, man… i have no freakin clue…after that, though, it looks like an insectoid (i think that’s what they were called… can’t remember… years of drinking… taking toll…), and then i recognize crocodile dentist and doritos out of the last row.

Posted by HaVoK @ 07/01/2003 9:48 AM EDT

photo 7 is from a cereal. I want to say coco puffs.

The ‘roided up freak with the gargoyles is Brian Bosworth.

The rest I know have been discussed..

Posted by dadadandy @ 07/01/2003 10:34 AM EDT

Were the colorblasters the air brush doohickey’s that you blew through and shot ink and spittle all over your paper? Or am I thinking of an entirely different thing?

Posted by nate_omega @ 07/01/2003 10:48 AM EDT

GIANT GREEN PIG!
BAD LINK ON HOME SITE!
FIFTH POST!
"MR. GAME & WATCH"

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/01/2003 11:02 AM EDT

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. From Screech on, the whole thing but CrocDentist just goes to Matt’s bizzare HTMHell. Doritos in Homeland Security HQ? Weird sunglasses in a tux? 3countemTHREE birrarely biizare byzcar yo similar robots? Blowjobs the mind.

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/01/2003 11:12 AM EDT

I perfered the 25 of the exact same picture of krang.

Posted by Redford @ 07/01/2003 11:13 AM EDT

http://x-entertainment.com/updates/pics/balloon.mid

It’s Balloon Trippy H.

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/01/2003 11:17 AM EDT

What was that group of Joes called? I think one of them was Cesspool, or something of that sort. They were all about pollution and junk. Man did GIJoe git wierd. Aren’t those Beast Wars pictures in the bottom left? Looked like three pictures of Optimus Primal to me

Posted by John @ 07/01/2003 11:31 AM EDT

I really need to be a little more patient in posting, so I can try to condense my posts so I don’t have to post multiple times.

But what fun is that?

That root directory also includes an NES Balloon Fight Image! Woohoo! Lame hackers unite!

Posted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/01/2003 11:34 AM EDT

You didn’t have to blow thru the color blaster thing…it had its own pump. I think you are thinking of blow pens…and blow pens are just not right:) Spittle and ink dont mix, ew.

In other toy news…you know those vcr games Matt is so fond of? Well…they are coming back courtesy of Mattel. They are called Scene it and use DVDs instead aaaaaaaand um…heres the site you can read about them http://www.toymania.com

On a final note, that rainbow ear guy in the She-ra picture looks like a furby. Rainbow ear guy should sue Tiger toys and maybe he could get his own furby, just like Gizmo did. I know i bought me a Gizmo furby, eeee!

Posted by kennef @ 07/01/2003 11:37 AM EDT

I get it. The TNMT, while GI Joe was busy eating roast pig on St. Patty’s Day conquered Eternia and became the Masters of the Universe. Then with a paying job, they were able to settle down and have twins, whom they spoiled w/colorblasters and coco puffs. Then, after warming up beatign the Power Princesses, the insectoids tried to become MOTU by usurping te turtles, but the turtles threatened to unleash a plague of Dutin Diamond, and that threat would stop anybody. Then the tranformers gave it a shot, but were stopped by the crocodiles in te moat and the turtles bouncer. however giv the blouncer some doritos, and you’re right in, as proven by the newest Master of the Universe int he final picture.

Posted by TOP1214 @ 07/01/2003 12:42 PM EDT

Haha… I might have had five GI Joes when I was a kid, and Matt picked one I had. All I remember is that the name of the guy had a backpack thing that filled up with water and a gun to shoot it from, and that the line of guys had eco somewhere in it… GI Joe meets Captain Planet. Ahh did I just compare GI Joe to Captain Planet? That’s like comparing Sophia from the GG’s to Nana from Suddenly Susan. Forgive me. Picture 3 looks like a low budget Gamorrean Guard. Bo shuda.

Posted by phillip @ 07/01/2003 12:57 PM EDT

WELL DONE TOP1214

Posted by J-Dog @ 07/01/2003 12:58 PM EDT

Is that Jay Leno in the chip commercial?

Frightening.

Posted by Dan @ 07/01/2003 1:12 PM EDT

Took the words right out of my mouth, Dan.

The Twins are just scary, by the way.

Posted by JC @ 07/01/2003 1:31 PM EDT

was that Leno doritos thing from the whole "crunch all you want, we’ll make more" campaign ?

Posted by matthew @ 07/01/2003 1:51 PM EDT

Ahh, Gnaw, my old friend. Warning, I’m going to go off on a few tangents. Am I the only one that has been wasting way too much money on the Transformers Re-issues at Toys R Us? I finally got me a Prowl, Ultra Magnus (I know Matt, the character sucked, but the toy was cool) and an Optimus with hands. So cool. I also shelled out the $50 for Powermaster Prime. He’s expensive, but worth it. I’m really praying for a Fort Max and Metroplex re-issue. And I know Matt secretly wants an Inhumanoids boom, so he can get the re-issued Tendril, and not let his nutso aunt anywhere near it. Matt, you could eat dinner every night with your Tendril. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Wow. This went on alot more than I thought it would. Also, because I always ask, who would win in a fight, Photog or Ash from Evil Dead?

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/01/2003 3:32 PM EDT

those pictures sure are funny…lol

Posted by heeloyd @ 07/01/2003 4:58 PM EDT

Bansheex, it would have to be Ash. Like he says,

"Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the gun."

Posted by Konopka @ 07/01/2003 5:09 PM EDT

I wrote this story using all the pics from the post in the order they appeared for a few friends. They begged me to post it so here goes.

Sorry about the language. Reader Discretion is Strongly advised.

Thank you for purchasing TMNT (1) brand super radioactive seminal fluid and party dip.

Please ignore the fact that this is a highly radioactive substance that can deform or damage you and that our delivery man is in an armored vehicle and wearing a HAZMAT suite(2) This shit is more powerful that Acme’s Green pig(3) juice. Acme green pig juice had the market cornered until it was discovered that the pig juice was just plain old Eternian(4) pig love juice dyed green. It contained No Radiation at all. Trust me, ours is milked nightly from 4 highly radioactive turtles and a few other mutants for good measure.

Do not let your children (5) play with this color blastin (6) goo. Do not get any goo in your eye (7), you will start seeing weird shit like purple houses (8) and dudes with shit growing out of their head (9), or worse every hot chic you see from now on will look and sound like Dustin Diamond (10).

Now there are three things (11) you must do before playing with your radioactive love sweat. First, do not put it in your mouth or the mouth of a large predator (12). 2nd always wear eye protection. We recommend Brain Bozzworth (13) brand wrap around shades because. Lets face it, there cheap and for an extra 1.00, Brian Bozzworth will hand delivery them. Finally be warned that using your Motion Lotion as a party dip may have adverse affects on what ever you get it on. This poor slob got it on his chin (14). So don’t blame us if weird parts of your body become misshaped you crazy Rainbow Randle loving fool.

Now lube up your anal bead on a stick (15) and start plugging away.

Posted by Yeti Hunter @ 07/01/2003 5:58 PM EDT

Yeti Hunter…Ew. That is the most disturbing thing I have ever read in my life. That one post will ulitmately ruin the internet. Not bad. Brian Bozzworth was in Hudson Hawk as Butterfinger, right? I forget.

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/01/2003 6:22 PM EDT

Wow, what can I say yeti hunter…

That was hilarious, especially the part with Brian Bozzworth, I am suprised VH1 has not done a "where are they now" episode on his sorry ass. By the way Yeti’s are bad, especially birthday Yeti’s.

Posted by tcuspe123 @ 07/01/2003 6:29 PM EDT

I just read the top 11. Great article Matt. The Predator is a Great enemy. Also, does anyone else notice the horrifying similarities between Johnny Cab and Barney Fife from Andy Griffith? Robert Patrick was wonderful as T-1000. So unassuming. Wonderful. By the way Matt, Who loves you, and who do you love? Yes! (Running Man)

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/01/2003 6:49 PM EDT

I completely forgot about the Eternia playset until just now. Believe it or not, I had that bad boy. When I got it, it was like meeting Christ (if Christ had an amtrack that circled him endlessly). Eternia made Grayskull look like Frodo’s crib.

Posted by Colgate 20One @ 07/01/2003 7:38 PM EDT

Ok, which was the most awesome giant toy: Eternia, or the GI Joe aircraft carrier?

I gotta give props to the carrier…the damn thing floated, after all. And as big as impressive as Eternia was, I always thought the big cat face was a tad on the fruity side.

Posted by Hellpop! @ 07/02/2003 1:04 AM EDT

By the way, am I the only one who recognizes Pic 9 as Dargon of the Sectaurs? Those toys ruled! With the black gloves on them so you could put your hand inside and animate the legs of the giant bugs…one of my favorite toy gimmicks of all time.

Posted by Hellpop! @ 07/02/2003 1:09 AM EDT

i have the GI Joe aircraft carrier

Posted by Patrick N @ 07/02/2003 3:13 AM EDT

"I’m really praying for a Fort Max and Metroplex re-issue."

Stop, then. Perhaps in Japan, yes, but just last year Hasbro tried to release a repaint of Fort Max (Brave Maximus) and he didn’t pass drop testing. No word on Metroplex–Takara (Yessss, Penny Racer Takara and Kronoform Takara) is for the most part milking the old Diaclone and Microman molds for all their worth with repaints galore (Grapple as Hauler, Thundercracker as Sunstorm, and a cartoon colored Starscream), and honestly they cost as much as the US reissues.

In addition, the US reissues have changes–Prowl and Bluestreak (Now Silverstreak)’s missile no longer launcher, Jazz’s missile and launcher are now friggin’ huge (and he’s called Autobot Jazz now.) and the Seeker missiles have been made much longer. Also, Ultra Magnus & Optimus Prime’s missiles have been elongated and their smokestacks have been shortened.

In addition, Powermaster Prime is not, in fact, the same toy as was released in 1988. The 1988 version had lots of cost cutting measures from God Ginrai and did not include Godbomber. The US reissue has diecast metal, includges Godbomber and is essentially identical to God Ginrai rather than Powermaster Prime.

Ultra Magnus’ toy is frickin’ awesome. However, much more awesome is his 1984 Diaclone version ‘Powered Convoy’ which has, essentially, an Optimus Prime cab colored BLUE (how cool) and MUCH better trailer colors.

Sorry, I just reeeeeally felt like talking about Transformers today.

Posted by Onslaught Six @ 07/02/2003 4:06 AM EDT

My sister went on a date with Brian Bosworth once.

Last night I realized that Nickelodeon edits their Retromercials for time. Unless this was just a shorter version of the Cold War Fashion Show Wendy’s ad.

Posted by Ubu Rex @ 07/02/2003 10:14 AM EDT

you guys can already get a couple of those at http://eighty.sixsomething.org/
they have the leno and bosworth ones for sure.

Posted by just so you know, @ 07/02/2003 12:54 PM EDT

http://eighty.six-something.org/

Posted by correction @ 07/02/2003 12:57 PM EDT

Does anyone know what movie this quote is from?

"In case you’re wondering…silly putty."

I’m playing a movie quote game and I can’t use search engines, but I can ask others. Anyone? Any help would be appreciated.

Posted by mutton72 @ 07/02/2003 1:47 PM EDT

Well Matt you must have controll over Arnold or something because you go do your 11 Arnold Villians and what do you know Arnold is coming out here to Kuwait tomarrow on one of those wonderful USO tours, if I get a chance which I’m sure I won’t I’ll get his opinion on his fav.

Posted by Edthacow @ 07/02/2003 8:36 PM EDT

GAH! For a second, I thought that middle pic in the bottom row was McDonald’s Mac Tonight! (creepy, piano playing moon man) But to my dismay, it looks like…WCW’s Sting?

Is that Dustin Diamond pic from a Public Service Announcement? I know there was anti-drug propaganda everywhere on Saved By The Bell…

Yep, that’s Jay Leno from the old "Crunch all you want, we’ll make more" Dorito’s ad campaign. I liked those commercials…

Colorblaster: "Pump pump spray, BLAST AWAY!"

Posted by Death By Stereo @ 07/02/2003 10:09 PM EDT

Waitaminute…there’s a blog poster who’s stationed in Kuwait???

That’s near Bitner!

Posted by Hellpop! @ 07/02/2003 10:51 PM EDT

Not Sting, DBS, Brian "The Boz" Bosworth.

Posted by CalmingButler @ 07/03/2003 1:48 AM EDT

Hey Matt… saw this today on a news website and thought it might interest you… reminds me of something you had in the cryptozoo a while ago… i think you called them "globsters" or somethin like that…
http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/s...ce/07/02/giant.find/index.html

Posted by HaVoK @ 07/03/2003 2:11 AM EDT

Ah, I knew Roseanne would turn up sooner or later.

Posted by phillip @ 07/03/2003 4:09 AM EDT

it was bound to happen…
and looking at those pictures again led me to an astounding conclusion… i am a complete dumbass… it took me this long to realize that if i clicked on them, they would get bigger and show more of the picture!!!!! Holy shit!!!
anyways, now that i’ve made myself look like a complete asshole, the GI Joe in the picture is Flint in his "eco-friendly" super captain planet let’s clean the earth suit. I know this because i was, unfortunately, the recipient of this horrible, horrible figure for Christmas one year… i must have been a real bastard that year to deserve somethin like that.
Oh, and i too have been spending way too much money on transformers reissues… stupid takara/hasbro…

Posted by HaVoK @ 07/03/2003 10:24 AM EDT

Does anyone remember the old nutritional PSAs that used to play during Saturday morning toons?

They were on around the heyday of Muppet Babies. I think the main character was a cracker, or maybe a cheese wheel.

I remember one spot that was trying to convince children not to "drown" their salads in dressing. The little cartoon cracker would bob in the salad and ranch yelling "I’m drowning in dressing!"

Maybe this has been reviewed before, or maybe I invented the whole thing in my head; yet, even as a child I knew that PSAs about salad dressing was a waste of money.

Posted by Ed Franklin @ 07/03/2003 1:44 PM EDT

Hulk head lites
http://www.necaonline.com/hulk.html
Gremlins diary
http://www.necaonline.com/gremlins.html

Posted by Joe Dante's gardener @ 07/03/2003 3:13 PM EDT

I <3 Gizmo.

Posted by Mr. Wing's optometrist @ 07/03/2003 4:01 PM EDT

The upped prices on the new reissues are understandable though. Considering Starscream was like $20 at his cheapest in 1984 (Heck, even Matt said you had to use a ‘big present’ to get a TF) and that he’s $35 now, that’s 20 years of inflation for ya.

In other news, the new 20th Anniversary TF figure will be Optimus Prime. Shit.

Posted by Onslaught Six @ 07/03/2003 8:50 PM EDT

Hey, Onslaught Six, I can order from Japan, and if that’s what it takes to get my round-eye ass a Fort Max, so be it. I’ll go over to Japan and beat the poo out of Takara Executives and steal all the Fort Max and Metroplexes I can. Then I’ll thank them for creating Transformers. I don’t want anyone getting into all the semantics about Hasboro, either. Transfomers are based on Takara molds, so eat it. Anyway, a man can dream. Right guys? Hey, Photog Vs. Fort Max, who wins?

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/03/2003 9:07 PM EDT

Ugh, I’m like the only one who hates TF’s.

Posted by Kyo Kusanagi @ 07/06/2003 6:28 AM EDT

That salad thing strikes me as familiar.

Posted by kennef @ 07/07/2003 11:10 AM EDT

Kyo, you are correct. Everyone else on earth loves Transformers. You are the only one who doesn’t. For a suggestion as to what you sould do, try this website. http://maddox.xmission.com/suicide.html Good luck

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/07/2003 6:22 PM EDT

Actually, I…uh [cough] only think that Transformers are…okay. Hey, don’t get me wrong: I watched the show as a child — I wasn’t a freak! — but, all-in-all, if it’s Astroboy reruns or Transformers reruns…well, it’s not an easy choice is all I can say.

No, don’t get up; I’ll show myself to the door.

Posted by Molten @ 07/08/2003 1:42 PM EDT

Molten, that’s okay. Kyo said he hates Transformers. He said HATE! How can anyone HATE Transformers? (He types while wearing an Autobots logo T-shirt) How, I ask? That’s like saying you hate oxygen or water. I just don’t get it. You don’t have to leave. Just Kyo. He can go to Hell. Sorry.

Posted by Bansheex @ 07/08/2003 8:54 PM EDT

The Salad Guy! He was this squat looking little yellow guy with long arms and legs that was scary but in a bow tie and top hat so he wasn’t THAT scary -= anyone who dresses that snazzy has to be okay, and he sang the ‘Don’t Drown Your Food!’ song on one of those commercials - there was another one where he showed you how to make snacks by freezing orange drinks in ice cube trays with saran-wrap over them and sticking toothpicks in the saran wrap so you’d have a stick to hang onto. There were more of them, but none of them are coming to mind except for one that took place in some sort of factory…

Posted by Aeire @ 07/09/2003 1:01 AM EDT

Yes, you know!

Now you share my insanity.

Posted by Ed Franklin @ 07/11/2003 3:36 AM EDT

tmnt logo, doritos chips and i have no idea what the rest are?

i want download all of them

Posted by jeremy sim sports @ 07/24/2003 6:08 PM EDT

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