New Article: In 1984, with Christopher Reeve swearing off the Superman franchise, the powers-that-be decided to take a stab at bottling lightning with Supergirl.  Starring Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway and the Phantom Zone, it was a critical and commercial failure…but I liked it.  The review is around 72,000 words, so grab your sodas before clicking.  Sodas or…blood.

Not sure what's coming up next, but rest assured, something's coming up next.  Click 'more' to read a couple of e-mails regarding recent articles…
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For those who were wondering…

That's a rock pencil. =D

New Article: More coverage from my Poconos trip last weekend — read about our trip to Route 209's Snake & Animal Farm, the filthiest place to see monkeys and big clam shells in the whole entire world.  Yessir.  But, you know, they sold rock pencils, and that pretty much makes up for all the dirt and disease.

I'm back on track for the rest of the week, next article'll be up tomorrow.  Thanks for your patience, and thanks for the Medicare.  Yes, I'm fully aware than the most recent gamut of articles have been a little off X-E's usual theme.  Hermit crabs, animal farms, oatmeal, blah blah.  I'll try to bring our usual suspects back into the fold for the next post…

Heylo.  We just got back from the Poconos, along with three garbage bags full of flea market crap and stolen jelly condiments from the many dilapidated diners and convenience stops we found along the way.  The jellies sparked a great debate over how "Concord grapes" got their name, segueing sheerly by virtue of rhyme to a discussion about Cheers recurring character, Robin Colcord.  The moral?  Not much to do in that town — you drink a lot in the Poconos.

Anyway, there's probably an article waiting to be written around the pictures I took, particularly those from a "Snake and Animal Farm" so unabashedly filthy that it's amazing everything in there wasn't dead.  This'll have to wait till later, though — gotta wrap up this week's "real" articles before I can torment you with the regular stuff.  My next Top 11?  Alien Invasion Movies.  It'll be up tomorrow afternoon.  Before I get back to Gort and Metaluna Mutants, there's one small thing I had to show y'all first…

At the Poconos' weekly flea market, an ice cream truck offered the goods: Super Mario Bros. Popsicles.  Actually, I thought I was being misled — the truck was advertising ice pops that haven't been sold in years, so when I asked for a Mario bar, the creature working inside kinda glanced at me with that whole "you're kidding, right?" look.  She said she wasn't sure if they "had anymore," which certainly would've been for the best since they're a few years old.  After digging through some boxes in the back of the truck, the creature lady emerged with what she swore was "the last Mario pop!"  No really, she actually hopped up screaming "look, it's the last Mario pop!"  As if I wasn't embarrassed enough just ordering the thing in my mid-20s, now I had creature lady shouting it at the top of her lungs for all of the flea marketing world to hear.  I quickly threw a bunch of quarters at her and scurried off, like a skunk thrown into the middle of a busy flea market.  I say this with firsthand knowledge — there really was a skunk in the middle of the flea market.

See?  The skunk's crazy owner waltzed through the event with her head held high and a goddamned SKUNK on a purdy red leash.  Honestly, this alone made the entire weekend and all of its many wallet-crashing moments worth it.  Still, kinda sucks that I saw the skunk before the flea market's other trump card — The Polaroid Monkey…

Yup, some old guy rented out a booth so people could pay six bucks for a Polaroid shot with his pet monkey.  The monkey, by the way, had let go of so much urine in that small booth that the guy had to keep his feet up on a chair to avoid getting all pissified.  Really, really depressing sight.  He wouldn't let me take a picture of the monkey, insisting that I shell out the six bucks for a "professional" shot.  This was as close as I could get without him noticing.  I'm not sure if there's any laws that'd make leaving monkeys out in the hot sun to piss all over themselves illegal, but it certainly seemed a bit off.  Oh well, monkeys and skunks are prime candidates to brighten up any flea market.  Back to Mario…

There it is.  The bubble gum nose was so incredibly stale that my entire jaw collapsed upon trying to chew it, but at least the ice itself remained lemony and delicious.  I've gotta get back to the articles now, but I didn't want anyone to go through Monday without the chance to see leashed skunks and Mario pops.  That's my contribution to society for today, eat your heart out Mudda Teresa.
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Together, we've made to another Friday.  Who know what magic and intrigue await us for the upcoming week?  Who?  Ponder that, and look at a bunch of scratchy pictures.  Have a nice weekend, but not so nice that it makes all future weekends appear sucky by comparison.  Have a debatably awesome weekend.  Here's the pics, from various ads of the 80s, 90s AND TODAY.  Who?

Almost forgot — someone e-mailed in asking if I'd swayed opinions on my previous "perfect pet," the Siamese Fighting Fish.  Tough one.  Well, the hermit crabs are certainly more fun to watch, but they also require more attention to keep alive.  I dunno though, I'd go with the crabs.  I've been sent some pics of readers' hermit crabs today, and god damn, some of them were the size of rats.  Others weren't so rat-sized, but there's always hope ’cause the things never never ever stop growing.  Yeah, I'd say crabs over fish, unless the fish is a sharky.

Here's some weekend reading material from the X-E archives: Within the Woods movie review, a tribute to Clowny Crayons, and oh yeah — TMNT's Sewer Playset.  Enjoy.  Who?

New Article: In the past, we've taken a look at mantis shrimp, Siamese fighting fish, and even chinchillas.  Now it's time for the amazing hermit crab to have its day in the sun.  Review includes pictures of the crabby pair I just picked up, their cage and food, and the peculiar cartoon character painted on each of their shells.  These guys are actually pretty cool — I'd recommend 'em to anyone looking for the ultimate in "easy pets."
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Hey hey hey.  Got a letter from VH-1 about appearing in some kinda show, but the catch is that I believe it was concerning my Halloween decorations article for a feature about obsessive pop decor.  I'm not sure I'm prepared to make a television debut overstating my love for rubber bats, because honestly, rubber bats aren't what really makes my world go round.  Oh well — either way, this is the umpteenth time I've been contacted from some TV station or show or producer or whatnot, and I've grown pretty skeptical whenever those e-mails hit.  After going through a rigorous series of BS setup questions, (Do you think you're TV friendly?  Would we have to fly you in?  Are you available at any time, or are you more seasonal?  You're white, right?) they'll usually just end contact anyway.  Besides, I like what I do, but I don't want to pretend I'm "that guy" just to gather thirty-five assorted hits from a ten-second spot.  I'm rambling — it's that whole procrastination thing again.

I've removed the pop-ups/popovers from the blog, at least until something can be figured out since many in the current crop are load-stoppers.  I'm hoping this'll be rectified soon — X-E's visitors have been pretty understanding about the ads on the whole, but I can't justify the ones that make readers have to reload a page fifty times to get it up to completion.  Oi — anyway, enjoy the pop-free blog.  The next article should be up before 5, and it's got claws.  Really, really small claws.  Hmmm.

:o Super Bonus!   Remember "Fortress Maximus," the largest of the Transformers?  Click here to download & watch his original Hasbro commercial, with kids going absolutely insane over his 3,000 doors, guns, and heads that transform into more robots.  If you're not wise to the lore, Max is as expensive as they come — boxed editions can go for over 500 these days.