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Kane.

Yuck.

Posted by Matt on 06/24/2003. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 94 comments

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Isn’t he the guy that normally wears a mask? Now I understand why. If he isn’t a guy who normally wears a mask, he should be.

Just what I need first thing in the morning. At least now everything else will be that much prettier.

Tell me, are there any more Mare Winninghams out there (perhaps from Dec. 23, 24, 0r 25). I need to know.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 06/24/2003 11:04 AM

Is that Kane from the WWE? Well, if it is, it’s a better gimmick than that Christmas Tree wrestler crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Eyeless @ 06/24/2003 11:04 AM

"Chunk…Chunk… baby ruth"

Chestnuts roasted by hooba dooba @ 06/24/2003 11:05 AM

I would SOOOOO not let that guy be my dentist.

Chestnuts roasted by Queen of Ill Repute @ 06/24/2003 11:06 AM

Queen,

good recall on Ludwig Borga, or mabey it was Vorga.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 06/24/2003 11:15 AM

FIVE years they had to come up with something other than some black face paint and half a head shave. He looks like the love child of the Warlord and 1996 Twiggy Ramirez from Marilyn Manson. *Shiver* how hideous.

Chestnuts roasted by dadadandy @ 06/24/2003 11:20 AM

From every thing they’ve said about Kane’s face weren’t you kinda disappointed when he didn’t look as bad as they claimed. I mean Vince Mcmahon could have paid some Hollywood make up artists to make him look scary. It’s gonna be interesting to see what R.D’s going to say about that. It’s most likely going be this weeks wrestle crap definition.

Chestnuts roasted by Strong Bad @ 06/24/2003 11:23 AM

It was funny to hear the announce team talk about how hideous he is, considering he’s actually less disturbing looking than good ol’ JR.

Chestnuts roasted by i was a lion @ 06/24/2003 11:50 AM

"MY GOD he’s..he’s…hideous!!" The worst shill job he’s ever done, and he’s done a LOT. They have just killed Kane. From Katie Vick to this, he’s lost all heat. R.I.P. Mr. Jacobs, maybe you can come back as the faux Kevin Nash.

Chestnuts roasted by dadadandy @ 06/24/2003 11:59 AM

Matt, you may want to sit down.
Cryptozoology action figures: http://www.figures.com/databases/action.cgi?setup_file=fignews2.setup&category=actionfigures&topic=126&show_article=127

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2003 12:12 PM

SEGA Handheld Games Head to McDonalds:
http://www.figures.com/databases/action.cgi?setup_file=fignews2.setup&category=actionfigures&topic=6&show_article=1166

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2003 12:14 PM

Come on! Is that the face of a guy who got severe burn wounds?
Oh well, at least he looks like he actually might be the Undertakers brother…

Chestnuts roasted by Lodin @ 06/24/2003 12:44 PM

I think his eyes are in the wrong place in respect to his nose.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/24/2003 1:47 PM

Watching last night, did anyone think Kane looked like Larry of the 3 Stooges the way his hair was cut?

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/24/2003 1:54 PM

If Nathan Bitner had gone into professional wrestling…….

oh and the most disturbing part for me is the pinkish damp meat that’s under the wresting shirt.
Why is it that all wrestlers look like they’re made (mostly) from obese baby ass?

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/24/2003 2:06 PM

Ok, you have to give them one thing, that was a VERY convincing wig he had on. But where to go from here? I want to see Paul Bearer return to reveal that he went back into the funural business so he could afford Plastic surgery for Kane. That would clear up the not burned thing, and explain why he seamingly abandoned his son.

On another topic: Matt? How about a Swampthing Review? The cartoon, not the live action one. it was the stupidest cartoon ever. Well atleast stupidest besides "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"

Chestnuts roasted by Goodolwt @ 06/24/2003 2:22 PM

Damnit! They ruined one of my favorite wrestlers. I think is is so stupid. By the way, am I the only one who thought "Sloth love Chunk" when hs first took off his mask? Goodolwt, good call on the wig. Had me fooled. I guess being horribly burned only means you get black face paint on your eyes. Screw it. I’ve moved on to Rey Mysterio. Typing that settles my Spider-man and wrestling fix. Hey, Matt, who would win in a Hardcore match, Kane or Photog? Bonus, we got to hear from Mick Foley again. Foley is GOD!

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 06/24/2003 2:51 PM

I really feel bad for the guy. Kane/Glenn/Isaac has been such a good company guy for such a long time, isn’t really that bad of a wrestler despite being given nothing worthwhile in years, and what’s he got to deal with? The damn mask for fifty five thousand years, and now a half-shaved head that’ll make him look freaskish on the two days a year he actually has off. Poor Kane.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/24/2003 2:53 PM

The best way to "swerve" it to make it make sense is to somehow change the storyline to say that Kane BELIEVED he was horribly burned in the fire and that every time he looks in the mirror, he sees a charred, remnant of what used to be a human face. But, in reality, he just has bad hair and some soot in his eyes. I blame the anabols for his delusions.

Chestnuts roasted by dadadandy @ 06/24/2003 3:00 PM

First, they make the Undertaker a biker and now this?
*I loved the way the Undertaker used to sit up…ever since he became a biker it’s not the same *

Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 06/24/2003 5:03 PM

Ya know, if he grows out his goatee, gets hair implants and dyes his hair darker, he may still be able to recover from Vince… actually probably Steph’s idea, which goes without saying due to the "yes man" writing staff.

But this sure woulda been the last nail in the coffin if the last nail for me wasnt HHH refusing to lose to anybody ever especially Booker, Rock made it clear he wanted Booker to carry the torch and HHH tried to put it out. I say screw WWE, they get worse everyday, and NWA gets better every week.

Chestnuts roasted by GT @ 06/24/2003 5:52 PM

There is only one way to resolve this catastrophe: HAVE UNDERTAKER RETURN TO HIS MINISTRY OF DARKNESS GIMMICK AND HAVE HIM RETIRE AT WRESTLEMANIA 20! I appologize for the shouting, I just needed to get that off my chest…..

Chestnuts roasted by Justice @ 06/24/2003 9:40 PM

My GOD! Kane’s BALD! Awesome makeup job though. I just hope his "scars" don’t fade mid-match like the Ultimate Warrior or Legion of Doom’s face paint.

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 06/24/2003 10:02 PM

You know it probably doesn’t matter whether he looks burnt or not because, wrestling is, you know, fake.

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 06/24/2003 10:36 PM

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE??? If the WWF (I refuse to call it WWE) is willing to kill the great monster in which they had Kane, where will they turn for viewers now… I never let a small part of my heart let WWF die because one day I hope they can invent good storylines but now… WHAT THE FUCK… FUCK VINCE FUCK HIS BILLIONS… YAY NWA TNA

Chestnuts roasted by Junior @ 06/24/2003 11:03 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 24th, 2003 at 10:40 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.