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05/26/2003: Fearless Photog Art Contest!

Nathan Bitner’s ‘Fearless Photog’ has quickly risen back to prominence, and why not? The character is interesting, and if the rumors are to be believed, the creator is the most interesting person who has ever lived. With Bitnermania running wild, all we can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. And draw pictures celebrating his wondrous work of art. Only on the X-E Blog, it’s the Photog Art Contest. Are you man, or woman enough to participate? Think you have what it takes to do Bitner’s opus justice? Here’s the rules…

1) You can create any kind of Photog art you want, using any available means. This includes, but isn’t limited to: drawings, graphics, digital pictures and dioramas.

2) If you plan to mix a little Bitner in with your Photog, play nice. Remember, he may have a checkered past, but he’s still the guy who gave He-Man a buddy with a camera lens for a head. All entries that take a malicious stance on King Bitner will be rejected — we’re not looking to make the poor guy miserable.

3) The grand prize winner, chosen with complete bias by me, will receive a special X-E prize pack. I’m not sure what’ll be in it, but if the number of leftover Gremlins book-and-record sets is any indication…

4) The contest will run for (almost) a full week. All entries must be received by next Sunday. E-mail your entry!

All participants will have their works posted in the Blog when the contest is completed. Then, and only then, will Bitner have his comeuppance.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 49 comments

Well, if we can’t declare an official Photog Bitner day, this is the next best thing!

Ghosted by Molten @ 05/26/2003 8:15 PM EDT

i have finals week after next………add this to the reason why i will never graduate

Ghosted by satas @ 05/26/2003 8:16 PM EDT

About time the power of this phenomenom were recognized, sadly I cannot post any artwork, no scanner etc., but I know the old forum used to have some very talented artists, and am sure the Bitner-isms will be included in the most tasteless way possible…good luck to everyone, teh winnar is you!

Ghosted by whitemale_98 @ 05/26/2003 9:13 PM EDT

I’d make an entry if I could draw. Matt needs to do a crap art contest for the talentless fools like me. I’ll do Anna Nicole’s mug good.

Ghosted by I love me Photog and Transformers and Bitner @ 05/26/2003 10:01 PM EDT

i think i will just submit what the damned thing has always reminded me of…

Ghosted by evin @ 05/26/2003 10:05 PM EDT

IThis call must be answered…..

Ghosted by Black Zarak @ 05/26/2003 11:06 PM EDT

I have some questions…
1. are we limited on the # of entry’s?
2. what are the factors of judgement (if any)?
3. How do you get rid of ring around the color.

I’m not gonna wait for the answer, and start drawing right away!

Ghosted by brandon @ 05/26/2003 11:10 PM EDT

No limits, factors undecided, and WISK.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/26/2003 11:12 PM EDT

Hell i am in…ill get a Phote to you Later on this weekend an when is the Deadline???

Ghosted by CheebaSmoker @ 05/26/2003 11:15 PM EDT

"…when is the Deadline"

Dude, it’s right in the list of rules at the end of #4. Perhaps smoke a little less Cheeba.

I have neither time nor talent, and it grieves me to not be able participate in such an illustrious contest. Maybe someday something I’m capable of. Like stickman cartoons.

Ghosted by Sean @ 05/27/2003 1:29 AM EDT

Don’t worry about being ‘talented,’ it’s all in good fun. :) The entries can be goofy as fuck — take a look at the Whales section for an indication.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/27/2003 1:31 AM EDT

Entry finished, and sent… Might try another one before the deadline. Great contest, Matt. :)

Ghosted by Cristofer @ 05/27/2003 4:11 AM EDT

damn my lazy bones, I was gonna spend all day today at work re-creating photog, but I forgot my carayans at home! that’s what I get for hitting the snooze 5 times too many.

Ghosted by brandon @ 05/27/2003 10:04 AM EDT

Yay! Something to do on my slow time at work :) hehe

Ghosted by Kiften @ 05/27/2003 10:24 AM EDT

Humm… because of this contest maybe The Bitner will appear as magically as he vanished from history… sort of.

Ghosted by Lynn @ 05/27/2003 12:10 PM EDT

Nathan Bitner and Fearless Photog MUST BE ENSHRINED IN INTERNET IMMORTALITY… Heh, I’ve never seen an episode of MoTU in my life, let alone played with one of the toys, and here I am opening up Microsoft Paint because you have to love a guy like Nathan…

Ghosted by Freezair @ 05/27/2003 2:08 PM EDT

To get off the subject of Bitner (is that possible?) I was so scared yesterday. I was on Hot or Not, and came across the female version of Matt (Circa hot pink hair) And, I’m a little afraid to type this, but Matt, you make a damn sexy woman! I’m so sorry that I typed that. I must go punish my fingers. I will slam them in my car door until they apologize. I’m sorry.

Ghosted by Bansheex @ 05/27/2003 3:02 PM EDT

Break out the MS Paint!

Ghosted by ineptitude @ 05/27/2003 4:18 PM EDT

Save PHOTOG!

http://www.savephotog.tk/

Ghosted by wack0 @ 05/27/2003 7:45 PM EDT

wait, what do we do? i’m confused

Ghosted by Captain Pajamas @ 05/28/2003 9:54 AM EDT

wack0 you rule

Ghosted by Steve @ 05/28/2003 3:17 PM EDT

woohoo! I just sent mine to Matt yesterday, it’s a drawing of Photog using his flash of death "Say Cheese And Die" technique on Skeletor!

Ghosted by LioConvoy @ 05/28/2003 4:11 PM EDT

I sent two home-grown pictures in. Photog, you’ve lived in our hearts for the past few days, and now you can live in our various paint programs. The internet is a beautiful thing.

Ghosted by Saithe Verity @ 05/28/2003 7:52 PM EDT

Man, these Bitnerites are scary.
I fear to say this, after the warm reception Mr. Lazer Eye recieved (though he was a bit heavy-handed).
Okay, the thing is this.
Megatron and Jabba the Hutt and all the other gods of our youth deserve their nook in out nostalgic collective.
However interesting, tragic, and anyting else Bitner’s life is, the point is that we’re talking about a real human being, here.
Watching people speculate on the color of his pubic hairs or whatver the fuck have you is just way too ghoulish for me. Like Matt said, we’re just in this to have fun. I don’t address this anyone in particular so please nobody take it personally (I bruise easily, as do most of us here). I know most if not all of you are really well-meaning in all this, but all it takes is one psychopath to screw the poor man up more than he already is.
This brings me to my second point. Well, no it doesn’t actually, but I have a second point and I think this is as good a place to mention it as ever.
With all the talk over this Nathan character, have we forgotten about our gracious host? No, probably not, but I like Matt, and I don’t like watching him take a back seat. Am I the only one who sniffled when I saw Matt’s post about Photog/Bitner being more inspirational than he would ever be?
Not So, Matthew! (I hope you don’t mind if I call you Matthew. It’s my real name, too so I know some guys are sensitive about that. Oh, shit I’m digressing!) I’ve been an XE reader since damn near the beginning. I’ve seen Cobra hatch a bplot to turn GIJoe into homosexuals, Emperor Palpatine preside over Marios’s murder trial, even, of all things…tigers…
I enjoy reading what Matt graciously allows us to see of his mind and madcap escapades far more than I do reading the twisted tale of Bitner.
Again, most of you I know don’t need to hear this, but I felt I had to say it.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go read some Matt’s articles…and not try to find out what his middle name is, where he graduated from or who his coworkers are.
Thank you for your time and bandwith.

Ghosted by Spike Spiegel @ 05/28/2003 8:32 PM EDT

Hey, he’s right! All hail Matt! Matt rules! Someone should do a website on him… oh, wait, he does his own! That’s right guys, while Bitner may be fascinating in a train-wreck from Dimension X sort of way, he’s also all elusive and cryptic – while Matt shares everything with us, and provides it in a free, easy-to-use format.

Matt’s more deserving of our affection. He reminds me of a great girl who I once let go for a more mysterious one that eventually burned me. This is an important lesson: never give up the quiet faithful girl for the shiny object heart-breaker, and never give up Matt for Bitner. He’ll only break your heart.

What the fuck am I talking about??

Ghosted by Horatio @ 05/28/2003 9:29 PM EDT

me agree. matt taking back seat. matt articles too good for his own good. now he pay consequence of taking back seat to bitner. me so sorry matt :( me have several entries in art contest…they is be are for you. they is be are for me to win too. me want win. me want win ba-a-a-ad :D

bitner winning battle, but matt still winning war,

Ghosted by -kennef @ 05/28/2003 10:33 PM EDT

some 1 wna tell me what a photog is… its sounds scary

Ghosted by Jordan @ 05/28/2003 11:22 PM EDT

WOO HOO! finnally got my entry’s away in the good ‘ol email. I doubt I’ll win, but hopefully when you see them you’ll laugh. Even if you laugh at me, it’s fine. oh yea, and since today is the first time since I got it that I’m playing w/ my scanner you may notice that my name is underlined (link) so you can see a picture of me and my daughter.

Ghosted by brandon @ 05/29/2003 1:33 AM EDT

When I first saw the Photog/Bitner story thing I got weirdly inspired and started animating footage of Photog & his father, the elusive N. Bitner…
(Photog is becoming this film-boy’s avatar in some sick way)

Not that its really for the contest but any clues how to get big vid footage of MOTU noir to the X-e?

On a side note:
Search on Google for "Camera for a head" and "Camerahead"…There’s like a dozen or so characters with camera’s for a head. What the hell is up with Armin Zola?

Ghosted by OhGodtheRats @ 05/29/2003 11:01 AM EDT

this site is great. i love how it taps into our nerdy collective memory.

also, i am so going to win the photog contest. off to the studio.

Ghosted by ben @ 05/29/2003 2:38 PM EDT

Is thsi contest open to cats as well? Mr. Pickels is so talented. I think that he coulld create some lovely Photg art if I let him try.

Ghosted by ShenaPurfect @ 05/29/2003 6:01 PM EDT

I would imagine that the best way to keep Matt and his talents in the spotlight would be to confine Bitner speculation and commentary to the original blog entry. This entry is about an art contest.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 05/29/2003 7:50 PM EDT

Just a quick note – I was out for most of the day, and came home to a bonanza of Photog entries in the inbox. Some of them are *really* good, wait till you see ‘em. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/29/2003 10:13 PM EDT

So when is the Actual deadline?

Ghosted by OhGodtheRats @ 05/30/2003 11:54 AM EDT

I wanted to enter, but I don’t want to draw Photog. Please say this isn’t the last art contest!

Ghosted by JohnnyMilkshark @ 06/01/2003 3:21 AM EDT

since it says entries must be recieved BY sunday, so entries today "technically" are not valid, but I’m not pickky, I really don’t think my entries should be valid either, because I didn’t draw photog, I just used other pictures pasted into other areas. damn cheater

Ghosted by brandon @ 06/01/2003 11:05 AM EDT

I hate god damn Ninja Turtles…and I hate their art contest. I didn’t place in the top 50 *sigh*

Ghosted by Kennef @ 06/01/2003 11:23 AM EDT

Well, I sent mine in. Jesus I have problems. How many people have the necessity to make pictures of photog. X-E, seriously how many?

There’s got to be a support group for art therapy such as this.

Ghosted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/01/2003 12:24 PM EDT

good luck everyone! I wonder when we’ll get the results?

Ghosted by KtuluCJ77 @ 06/01/2003 10:14 PM EDT

Don’t worry Brandon, the rules specify "1) You can create any kind of Photog art you want, using any available means. This includes, but isn’t limited to: drawings, graphics, digital pictures and dioramas." I’d say you’re fine (and my entry is of a similar medium).

Ghosted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/01/2003 10:32 PM EDT

I had a cool idea for mine….but somehow it just makes Photog looks like a horrible pervert. It just seemed it was his destiny to fill pornos. lol

Ghosted by Kiften @ 06/02/2003 4:25 PM EDT

Like Trevor the rat in Meet the Feebles?

(oh god He-Man porn)
I’m sure its out there. I do NOT need to have that confirmed.

Ghosted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/02/2003 4:29 PM EDT

I want to have that confirmed

Ghosted by brandon @ 06/02/2003 6:53 PM EDT

There used to be an erotic He-man fan-fic site out there that was linked off of He-man.org. Probably been pulled by now.

Does that count?

Ghosted by Dr. Omega @ 06/02/2003 7:06 PM EDT

?!?,oh, i get it.

Ghosted by mr.x @ 06/02/2003 10:58 PM EDT

Photog Yaoi? My poor innocent eyes.

Of course I’d love to see the X-E film crew….Photog the cameraman, Soundwave with his boom mike and various grips (the little guys, etc) and Cobra Commander screaming like a banshee at the actors.

Ghosted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/03/2003 2:34 AM EDT

I’m itchy, where’s the results?!

Ghosted by Silent Bob @ 06/03/2003 10:30 AM EDT

lol if only I had the old action figs so I could make it look like Teela was riding HeMan and Photog was filming it…:(
Unfortuantely, due to lack of time, and good pictures on yahoo, I just had to make it look like he was reading a porn mag lol :) i should have had him watching a porn and making a tape of it :)

Ghosted by Kiften @ 06/03/2003 2:02 PM EDT

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 26th, 2003 at 8:09 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.