Tropical Sprite Remix has arrived, and it's ready to tropic the Hell out of you. I was pretty skeptical about the cola - if you look back at this past year, we've seen a ton of flops. 'Pepsi Blue,' while still in limited production, didn't exactly seize a big chunk of the market since IT TASTES LIKE ROTTING DEAD PEOPLE, DYED BLUE AND TRANSFORMED INTO SODA. As a byproduct of the soft drink companies' never-ending competition, our drinks are doomed to forever grow stranger and progressively taste more and more like 'something you can't quite put your finger on.' So, where does Sprite Remix fit into this?
Something I've learned by reviewing foods and drinks before is that people have their own tastes, and are willing to stand by them no matter how awfully wrong and self-effacing they may be. Other times, I've been wrong. When I reviewed 'Clamato,' rightfully claiming it was clam-flavored poison, pretty much every reader of the site from Canada e-mailed in to let me know how well the stuff works in mixed drinks. I've learned that no two tongues are alike, and one man's crap is another's juicy steak, just like the one Joey Pants fantasy-ate in The Matrix. JUST LIKE THAT STEAK. That said, I didn't find Sprite Remix at all offensive. It's not really my cup of carbonated tea, but it works on some level.
Remember 'Clearly Canadian,' or 'Mystic?' Those clear 'waters' that weren't really waters, but rather fizzy sodas in fruity flavors? Sprite Remix replicates their formula almost perfectly, with the added advantage of having a more recognizable brand name. And a cooler label - a much cooler label. It's pretty aromatic, too - once you twist the top off, you're greeted with the stench of concentrated berries. Oddly, concentrated berries smell just like a Glade air freshener.
Most importantly, you might even like the taste. It's not something I'd seek to drink again in the immediate future, or ever again, or if oil or gasoline were available, but some of you should enjoy it. If this counts for anything, I like it a lot more than plain ol' regular Sprite. As for its chances of surviving in the market - it's hard to say. The timing is right, since tropical drinks are decidedly summer fare. On a scale from 1-10, I'd give it a 6. There's really no methodology to that grade, it's just the first number than popped into my head. Well, actually, '14' was first, but totally inapplicable. Hey, did you know it's tropical? It is! It's tropical!!
Posted by Matt on 05/12/2003. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
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Shit, try drinking the other summer drink, Mountain Dew: Orange infusion or something. It tastes like bad orange soda with a "dewey" aftertaste. Code red it ain’t.