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Easy Video!

This past weekend, I discovered the last old style video store in anything resembling a close driving proximity. 'Easy Video' doesn't have much in the way of new releases, but they've got tons of ten-year-old candy. Today's article gives you the breakdown, plus a picture of a Bald Bull temporary tattoo. It's actually the first half of a two-part series - I picked up a movie while I was there, and it's BAD. 1.9 on IMDB level bad. Review coming tomorrow. Annihilation coming on Wednesday, which is pronounced 'Wedsday' by people with an inclination to skip syllables.

PS - big thanks to Mike for designing X-E's new toolbar, which you can see at the top of this page. Scroll up, it's really there. Mike's also been spending a lot of time making progress with the various archive-related mumbo jumbo necessary to make X-E flylikecomet, and it's greatly appreciated by both myself and the guy from The Crow who kept saying 'shit on me.'

Posted by Matt on 05/12/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 56 comments

I buy crap from gumball machines ALL THE TIME, but I haven’t ever seen a gumball machine like that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 05/12/2003 10:38 AM

I live in Jersey and we have an Easy Video near where I work. I think I might have to head over there during lunch to see what they’ve got.

Chestnuts roasted by mutton72 @ 05/12/2003 10:42 AM

Matt, if the movie you’re going to review is "Santa With Muscles", I’m going to have to sacrafic a virgin.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/12/2003 11:14 AM

ew. that food reminds me of the little vending huts at high school football games. ewwwwwwwww.

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 05/12/2003 1:04 PM

So did you actually find anything valuable, or was it all just amusing junk? I’m sure some of that stuff is hard to come by today, but it still might be worthless.

Chestnuts roasted by Action Jacktion @ 05/12/2003 1:23 PM

The Nintendo Tattoos are valuable, at least compared to what I paid. Everything else is pretty much worthless, though it wouldn’t surprise me to see the Marvel-related crap sell on eBay. They certainly had a few hundred-dollar movies, tho.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 1:44 PM

Heh, if only we had a place like that near where I live. Not that I’d actually WANT to eat any of the candy (I’m not entirely masochist), but its like a timecapsule of the late 80s-mid 90s.

Course, the idea of having Link tattooed to my forehead while taking my finals seems like a great idea…

Chestnuts roasted by Psychi Lemur @ 05/12/2003 1:58 PM

For years now… years… I have been searching for "T2 Sour Bullet Candy". They came in a little black container reminiscent of a hockey puck. Inside were little silver sour candies that looked like ball bearings. I guess they were supposed to be what the evil liquid Terminator would look like if he took the form of crude ammunition. You also got a little sticker of a bullet-hole that I used to put all over my bedroom window. These things were SOUR. It was as if they took a truckload of lemons and distilled the sourness down to a concentrated little silver pellet. These things literally left burn marks on your tongue. Nothing… NOTHING… comes close to the pure unrestrained levels of sourfulness in these little bastards. I’ve searched all of the musty old grocery and convienence stores in Vancouver, but alas…. they have been out of circulation too long. Please Matt, please…. tell me you saw these things at Easy Video… and I’ll book my flight today.

Chestnuts roasted by shinfifo @ 05/12/2003 2:05 PM

I can hardly wait until tomorrow, you big tease.

Chestnuts roasted by Kookie @ 05/12/2003 2:45 PM

Shinfifo, you ain’t kiddin’. Those things reach a sour level almost illegal by law. Matt, we’ve got some bizarre small vid stores out here on Long Island, but NOTHING, NOTHING NOTHING!!! compares to 112 Video. Originally a mom and pop store, now a viable business, their big selling point is being the only store where you can ask for anything and they will nearly always say "I have that." It is mecca.

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 05/12/2003 3:20 PM

I wonder if the Mom and Pop video store from Clerks is still around. I read the the mini-mart is. Now, THAT would be the Mecca of video stores.

Chestnuts roasted by No so Silent Bob @ 05/12/2003 4:11 PM

I remember seeing the Crazy Dips as a non-wrestling related item at some point in the mid-90s over here in Germany. I can’t recall exactly when (though I’m fairly sure it was before ’96), but if I’m not mistaken they were quite lame, especially the variety with the cola-flavoured foot.

Chestnuts roasted by Impossible Robot @ 05/12/2003 5:15 PM

Easy Video was a regional video chain in Jersey in the early to mid 90′s. Most of the stores shut down when Blockbuster and Hollywood Video moved into town after town. A search on Superpages.com shows 17 remaining in the state.

I’m presuming from the picture that your find was made at the one on Route 9 in Woodbridge?

Chestnuts roasted by Lance @ 05/12/2003 5:44 PM

Easy Video was a regional video chain in Jersey in the early to mid 90′s. Most of the stores shut down when Blockbuster and Hollywood Video moved into town after town. A search on Superpages.com shows 17 remaining in the state.

I’m presuming from the picture that your find was made at the one on Route 9 in Woodbridge?

Chestnuts roasted by Lance @ 05/12/2003 5:44 PM

For some unexplained reason, there are a ton of the mom and pop video stores or even mini-chains that have survived in South Jersey, including Easy video (thanks for the heads up on superpages.com, Lance). Blockbusters and Hollywood Videos are around, but not enough to reach saturation. Nothing beats finding ancient horror flicks (remember "The Stuff"?) sitting next to those swinging western bar doors marking the "adult" section in the M & P places.

Chestnuts roasted by Konopka @ 05/12/2003 6:13 PM

Hey, Matt, will you scan up and show us the rest of the Nintendo tattoos? Perhaps in flat mode?

See, I have these kick-244 printer papers that will turn anything you print out on them into a temporary tattoo. So when I go take my finals next week, I really CAN have Link on my forehead.

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 05/12/2003 7:58 PM

Oh man… "Field trip" articles like this are my favorite on X-E, nay, the entire internet. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s review!

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 05/12/2003 8:04 PM

We have ONE good video store here in San Diego, called Kensington Video. They not only have a ton of stuff, but know what you’re talking about when you ask them for it.

They’re more artsy though, so I doubt they’ll have the garbage pail kids movie, but I’m going to look for it…

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 05/12/2003 8:25 PM

"RICK" FLAIR? That was WCW was whoring out the licenses in a failed attempt to keep from going under. I got a pair of "Goldberg"
boxers for god sake.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 05/12/2003 8:42 PM

The new toolbar is great, but what is that underneath the "advertise" link? Rob, Gizmo, Krang, Cyclonus, Hulk Fist ‘n Mits, Sad Whale, but what is that other thing? It kind of looks like a milk dud bitten in half, LoL! Oh well, its probably obvious to everyone but me… Oh I say the whales are a singing…

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/12/2003 9:07 PM

The movie is encoding as we speak, so expect a few videos along with it. It’s not a ‘popular’ flick – it’s never been requested by anyone before, but this one is surely one of the oddest ones I’ve ever encountered.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 9:24 PM

Screw taking a final with Link tattooed on your forehead. Take it drunk! I’m getting tanked before my very last test in my very last semester of college. It’s tomorrow, and I need a whopping 5% on it to graduate. Of course, I could get a Link tattoo AND go drunk… (gleeful laughter)

As far as the article goes, I noticed that you go off the copyright to date the candy. I’m not entirely sure about this, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the copyright is the date of the latest revision of the packaging. In other words, if a company sticks with the same packaging for 1995, 1996, and 1997, the 1997 candy would still be copyrighted 1995. I can’t believe that a company would keep the same packaging long enough for ANY of that stuff to be fresh, but it might only be 3 or 4 years old instead of 5 or 6. Of course, eating it would still cause your face to puff up and your intestines to fall out your asshole.

Chestnuts roasted by Spaz307 @ 05/12/2003 9:35 PM

That’s the case sometimes, but usually, they’ll be two copyright dates listed. The ‘start’ date, and the more current date. In the case of food, it’s usually just the more current date. (check anything in your fridge – usually won’t have the ‘starting’ date)

Still, most of the candies reviewed were fad items that didn’t last longer than a year anyway. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 9:38 PM

The Amurol Candy Company is in Yorkville, Illinois about seven miles outside of my hometown of Aurora. ALL the Christmas Candy they produced was ALL Crap (and there were lots, believe it or don’t) Incedentally, this Awful Candy Co. is also the hometown of our Awful Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert.

Shinfifo, yr gonna say I’m lying but there’s still boxes of leftover T2 Sour Meltdowns at the Navy Exchange in Norfolk VA as of January (‘o3). Unfortunately, you have to actually be IN the Navy to shop there…

Chestnuts roasted by Grego @ 05/12/2003 9:55 PM

God, I hate being teased like that. We still have a couple of mom and pop video stores in my city, but all they really seem to do business in is porn. No candy, no posters, two token copies of a huge new release, and a back room that keeps expanding. It’s almost sad, but not really.

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 05/12/2003 10:58 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 12th, 2003 at 10:12 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.