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Old Chips Ahoy! Ad

Chips Ahoy! cookies, mystical and full of chocolate, might not have survived this long without some clever marketing campaigns. The 'Betcha Bite A Chip' credo alongside their promises of each package containing something like 45,000 chips held public interest, and it even piqued my interest to the point where, for three years, I swore to everyone who'd listed that I'd found a Chips Ahoy! cookie with no chips. I was lying. I wish I could've found better things to lie about.

Click 'more' to see one of the cookie conglomerate's old print ads - featuring a cameo appearance by the legendary Striped Chips Ahoy! and a special activity that lets you fold paper to decode a secret chocolate message...

Go ahead, do it. Print it out. Put 'A' to 'B.' You know you want to. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Posted by Matt on 05/09/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 49 comments

Yeah, Ubu Rex, I also used to take really small bites and then become proud of myself. Only I thought it was some sort of contest.

You guys remember that TV spot where there’s a gang of kids, and they have this big map of the cookie so they can try to plot out where to take a bite without getting a chip?

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 05/12/2003 9:15 AM

there are no comments for the video store article so here i be. Sure fuckin over a m and p is nice but fuckin over the man (blockbuster) feels better… i got all three slumber party massacres for under 10 bucks.. by tell the guy that his manager insisted there was a buy 2 get one free sell goin on to dwindle down the 80′s b horror movie section… who can beat a whole series as far as i know it(there might be a 4) for under 10 bucks… fuck blockbuster.. i want the machines that are makin em!

Chestnuts roasted by Casket @ 05/12/2003 10:09 AM

Here’s another post about the video store article:

Man I wish I had a store like that near me. All I can find are big franchises, no fun to be had there. Matt should return to Easy Video soon, and write more articles about nasty old candy from long ago.

Excellent article!

Chestnuts roasted by headhurtn' @ 05/12/2003 12:59 PM

agreed. my favorite article in a long time.

Chestnuts roasted by hello @ 05/12/2003 10:47 PM

Yo, I remember seeing this ad in one my fabled Spider-Ham comics . Of this I am sure. Damn Now I am going to have go thru my comics to find it. Oh yeah , Mad props for the "My pet Monster " story

Chestnuts roasted by madmanmorgan @ 05/13/2003 12:58 PM

In responce to Calming effects question. I think it was "Looks like a cracker but eats like a chip"

Chestnuts roasted by Lifesjobber @ 05/13/2003 2:52 AM

GBAL!QHHHHJ

Chestnuts roasted by WEFOP(B @ 05/13/2003 5:52 AM

Thor Hungry! Thor WANT Chip!

Chestnuts roasted by Thor @ 05/13/2003 9:07 AM

oh my gosh!
I forgot about Spider-Ham til it was just mentioned…wacky.
The amount of things from my childhood (I’m 26) that I’d forgotten until I’d see an article Matt had written is staggering…is 26 too young for Alzheimer’s Disease?
I also remember the above ad, as well as the maze…
ahhhh, the good old days.

Chestnuts roasted by Ralyin @ 05/13/2003 9:23 AM

thank you very much i like chips ahoy in original and chewy myself i have a ad on chips ahoy! on a comic book

Chestnuts roasted by jeremysimsports @ 05/13/2003 12:20 PM

What was the name of the cartoon kid that touched the chips ahoy chocolate chips and turned them into rainbow colors?

on a side note, where’s the Captain Planet articles? The kid with the ‘heart’ ring got screwed.

Chestnuts roasted by Jah @ 05/13/2003 2:57 PM

I remember my first encounter with Chips Ahoy! I was on some island in, like, the Bahamas, and, when I reached for the bag\the opening was COVERED WITH LIVE ANTS, which propted wimpy little me to drop the bag and run screaming like a little girl.

I think I rented that MPM-LAV. (My Pet Monster Live… you know, I feel like if I say the entire thing, I’ll summon Satan Borgnine.) I was about 5, come on. I was REALLY into folks who turned into other stuff (I was crazy about my TMNT April action figure that turned into a tiger. Rrowwl!)

Yeah, Heart sux. "Quick, monkey, love people!" Meanwhile, you have this American kid who can shoot FREAKIN’ FIRE. Makes me proud to be an American.

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/13/2003 3:49 PM

I wanna cookie…

Chestnuts roasted by Otaku Queen @ 05/13/2003 6:46 PM

They were in Archie comics. I am looking at one now.
I can’t tell if it is my handwriting with says "Stupid cookie – I hate you" on the top of the page.
I’d like to think yes.

Chestnuts roasted by pantsofoles @ 05/13/2003 7:51 PM

I remember finding these in the backs of G.I.JOE comics…I had to put a and b together…Thus the comics future value is sealed as not in mint…Damn these ads!!! They are the bane of my existence! Does anyone remember that Lucky Charms also pulled this asinine marketing scheme? Bloody Pendaho Bastards will BURN IN HELL!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Crow Warrior @ 05/13/2003 8:04 PM

Anybody remember Spider-Ham’s real name?……Peter Porker!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! Oh shit. Classic….so sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by somelikeitthach @ 05/13/2003 10:05 PM

yeah Spider Ham is cool my cousin gave me 2 old sp comics from 1986. Does anyone remember that oreo maze or the fig newtons flavor scramble?

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 05/14/2003 2:35 AM

Calming effect,

"Wheat thins, kind of like a cracker but more like a snack"

I swear to christ. You don’t remember it because it was assinine. Continuing:

"Just for you snackers,
a crispy delight.
Kind of like a cracker
but with more snack bite…"

I honestly can’t remember my own account number at the bank, though I’ve written it on the deposit slip almost every week for the last 7 years but:

"..oh they’re thin and square
and they’re light as air,
but they’re honest to goodness good crackers (wheat thins!)
Wheat thins,
kind of like a cracker but:
MORE LIKE A SNACK!!"

Maybe this was more recent that ’84/’85. I dunno. I would have been 11 or 12. Doesn’t seem so long ago…

So what do I get? Cat pictures?
I’ve wasted my life.

Chestnuts roasted by toadfrog @ 05/14/2003 4:19 PM

ToadFrog, that had been bothering for months. Pictures of my three beautiful cats are comin yo way playa. Ok, I know the jingle was assinine, but my grandmother was telling me this cute little story about how when I was 4 I wanted to name my dog cracker-butt, based on the wheat thins jingle. I remembered this and went on to tell her that I knew the first part and wanted to know the rest of the jingle. Of course she didn’t know it & I was sad and have spent a good 2 months looking for it, I am the one who has wasted his life, I could have saved my self all this anguish just by posting here. Thanks to everyone who replied especially toadfrog. :)

Chestnuts roasted by CalmingEffect @ 05/15/2003 2:06 AM

Ma-Ti, the kid with the heart ring, did NOT get screwed! He had a monkey!

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 05/18/2003 1:03 PM

i like the ad

Chestnuts roasted by jeremysimsports @ 07/24/2003 6:32 PM

That idiot kid who coloured all the chocolate chips name was Kevin…leading to the retarded "Thank Kevin" (Thank Heaven) pun…a great mind once said "there is no such thing as a good pun" I stand behind that guy…

Chestnuts roasted by MetalRaven @ 08/11/2003 12:49 PM

My God, I remember that Chips Ahoy ad! I forget where I first saw it, but yes, I did try to put A to B. I could never do it in a straight line.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/16/2003 11:07 PM

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 9th, 2003 at 12:51 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.