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Double Dragon: The Movie.

I've been waiting to do this one for a long while, and the video finally came in the mail. Here's my review of Double Dragon: The Movie, starring Scott Wolf and Alyssa Fucking Milano with a blonde crewcut. Unbelievable, but I really enjoyed it for some reason. Not as much as Mortal Kombat, but then, this movie didn't have a six-armed alien breaking spines in half. It did have Abobo, though, and included are four video clips detailing his antics. On one of 'em, Alyssa Milano force-feeds Abobo SPINACH. Enjoy. Some other notes:

- The Hulk article is doing pretty well. I was hoping it'd get spread around a bit, I had a lot of fun putting this one together. I dragged the woman to damn near every grocery store, toy store, and pharmacy in the city on the hunt, and we actually accumulated more Hulk stuff than is in the actual article. Along the way, we saw everything from Hulk fishing rods, (somebody mentioned this one in the comments) kites, stickers, shoes, 800 action figures, a giant water gun, not to mention the fact that half the crap in the grocery stores had 'Win Hulk Tickets' promotions stamped all over 'em. I'm glad to have archived all of it, it'll be cool to reflect on Hulkamania a few years from now.

- The 'new job' I mentioned a few posts back still ain't a new job quite yet, but it's looking good. Suffice to say, my obsessive personality has made me think about it to the point where I have trouble sleeping and pissing. Kidding about the pissing part; that has nothing to do with the job. I just like to hold it in case of a fire.

- Really great comments/overall usage to the little bloggie lately, which is good to see. Actually, this section has worked out much better than I thought it would - I figured it'd take me a month to lose interest and stop updating it entirely. Instead, it's really grown on me. I think it's because I put three lame mp3s on the blog's archive index that nobody's seemed to find yet. Could be something else, who knows.

Posted by Matt on 05/06/2003. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 38 comments

Meteorbs in an educational toy store?
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=0e2f9722b76da82e512b5419a131960f&threadid=49219

Chestnuts roasted by The McRib is back! @ 05/07/2003 1:20 PM

Hey thanks Matt and Queen for the suggestions… I’ll get right to the downloading, LoL! Calming Effect, I’d have to agree with you about theory of Little Monsters being hell… You never really live again after seeing some poor kid down Howie’s leakage. Try Ghost Dad sometime, ugh. THAT’S hell my friend.

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/07/2003 1:32 PM

Hey matt!
Sounds like you and your girlfriend are pretty close. I know i would never follow my guy to shop for hulk stuff..haha.

Anyway, does she even know you have a website up???
hehe

Chestnuts roasted by Jo @ 05/07/2003 4:49 PM

ABOBO! I think it’s kinda neat that they got the mohawk Abobo in there too — he only showed up in the Neo Geo fighting game, unless you count his ethnic flavors in the arcade game. Abobo take many forms. Now…whoever fall in spring…take body of Abobo!

Riiight…

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 05/07/2003 8:37 PM

Dude that movie rocks i bought it on dvd from my local super market in the bargin entertainment center!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Dan "The man" Schmatz @ 05/08/2003 9:52 AM

Damnit, Abobo’s a big fat black guy with an overly large head.

This movie sucks.

Chestnuts roasted by Onslaught Six @ 05/08/2003 11:31 AM

Probably nobody’s going to read this but there is an interesting part to the Double Dragon movie you overlooked. Having a mom that’s into soap operas allowed me to catch it, however. Shuko’s female bodyguard’s most "famous" role is on the ABC soap opera "General Hosptial". There’s even a scene where Marian and the bodyguard do battle. As best as I remember the dialoge:

BODYGUARD:"So who’s the boss now?"

MARIAN:"I’m going to send you to General Hospital"!

There’s also the only actually amusing use of the word "shit" in the movie’s dialoge:

[when Shuko gets the complete amulet]

THE LEE BOYS;"Oh, shit!"
SHUKO:"That’s right".

[later, when the Lee boys get the amulet]

SHUKO:"Oh, shit!"
THE LEE BOYS:"That’s right"

Total reversal. You can also catch Double Dragon every now and then on the Sci-Fi Channel, so watch your local listings.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 05/10/2003 4:16 PM

I was a huge fan of this game as a kid, so, though I’ve never seen the movie, I enjoyed the review. Maybe I’ll look it up sometime. Anything with Abobo being fed spinach by a very blonde Alyssa Milano has to be worth something.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/16/2003 9:51 PM

DOUBLE DRAGON MOVIE SEQUEL,NO BLOODY WAY.

Double Dragon, an live action feature based on Technos video game series is a bad movie from Imperial Entertainment,an 80s production company which have produced Van Dammes Wrong Bet.
The movie starred Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf as Jimmy and Billy Lee,also stars Alyssa Milano as Marion and Robert Patrick as Koga Shuko.The film also has Abobo from
the Double Dragon games is in the movie cloned from 1st Abobo to 2nd Abobo.
Do you ever think if there will be another Double Dragon movie sequel?
No, no goddam f###### way.
Double Dragon is a worst game to film movie ever.

BRUCE ACOSTA
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
AUSTRALIA.

Chestnuts roasted by Bruce Darren Acosta @ 01/14/2004 5:33 AM

DOUBLE DRAGON MOVIE SEQUEL,NO BLOODY WAY.

Double Dragon, an live action feature based on Technos video game series is a bad movie from Imperial Entertainment,an 80s production company which have produced Van Dammes Wrong Bet.
The movie starred Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf as Jimmy and Billy Lee,also stars Alyssa Milano as Marion and Robert Patrick as Koga Shuko.The film also has Abobo from
the Double Dragon games is in the movie cloned from 1st Abobo to 2nd Abobo.
Do you ever think if there will be another Double Dragon movie sequel?
No, no goddam f###### way.
Double Dragon is a worst game to film movie ever.

BRUCE ACOSTA
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
AUSTRALIA.

Chestnuts roasted by Bruce Darren Acosta @ 01/14/2004 5:33 AM

Um… yay? What does this have to do with anything?

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 11/05/2004 3:45 PM

Um… yay? What does this have to do with anything?

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 11/05/2004 3:45 PM

Yama the Space Fish is Andrew P. Marston. He lives in Boston Massachusetts and is nothing but trouble. He is a sick person.

Chestnuts roasted by In the Know @ 08/19/2010 4:23 AM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6th, 2003 at 3:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.