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04/23/2003: morning sun.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!


Discussion Thread: 77 comments

Hi Dad! Where have you been? What’s that? Orko has one of those under his skirt? And it looks like Mario Lopez? Strange. Yes, I’ll have some, pass the bottle please…

Ghosted by BotchieGulpe @ 04/23/2003 4:21 PM EDT

Is He-Man drinking vodka? Sweet. He should try Ultra Tide Free laundry detergent. Take a sniff next time you’re in the grocery store: smells just like Absolut, but gets your insides brighter and whiter.

Ghosted by Molten @ 04/23/2003 4:32 PM EDT

Teddy Ruxpin with a knife?  I’m having nightmares for a month now…

Ghosted by Teddy Ray @ 04/23/2003 5:06 PM EDT

Oh, god, oh god, oh god!!!
First, I click on the 80sTees ad and get the fucking Monchichi’s theme song stuck in my head, and now I get He-Man staring me down with what looks like a bottle of tequila!

There’s no way in hell I’m sleeping tonight.

Ghosted by Patty nO'More @ 04/23/2003 5:24 PM EDT

Hell Yea!

Ghosted by Orgg @ 04/23/2003 5:31 PM EDT

Hey, everyone parties sometime.

Ghosted by Sargasm @ 04/23/2003 5:36 PM EDT

Wow, I went to Zellers the other day (in Canada) and was I in for a treat 50% off easter candy.

My take home loot:

Cadbury Cream eggs x 2 - as per Matts Artical

Cadbury Truffle eggs x 2 - A little to mutch truffle stuff for my tastes

Dove Truffle eggs x 2 - Way better than the Cadbury one, actually tastes like a truffle

Cadbury Wonderbar eggs x 2 - Strange

Cadbury Caramilk eggs x 2 - Stickier than a cream egg but pretty darn tasty.

Cadbury Dream Eggs x 2 - Like a Cadbury cream egg but its white chocolate and has a more dairy-ish goo inside.

All of that for just under $5.00 Canadian.  And because of socialized health care here I don’t have to pay for the double bypass either.

Ghosted by Goblin22 @ 04/23/2003 5:43 PM EDT

lol

Ghosted by teehee @ 04/23/2003 6:03 PM EDT

What I still cannot figure out is if the U.S. of A is junk food central, how come all of these damn foriegners are getting all the good candy and chips? Now THAT’S worth going to war over.

Ghosted by jthm @ 04/23/2003 7:36 PM EDT

So Queen Marlena brought the good stuff with her from Earth? Or was that something the cop had stashed away in that half of a car?

What do I know? I drink Sprite at nightclubs. :)

Ghosted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 04/23/2003 8:41 PM EDT

Oh, I wanted to beat Koz to the punch: I like pants! (runs away)

Ghosted by ShadowWing again @ 04/23/2003 8:41 PM EDT

I wore the G.I. Joe version for halloween ‘86/87

Ghosted by Spaz @ 04/23/2003 9:51 PM EDT

i remember when He-man showed up at my house with Vodka …….

Ghosted by Runnin wit scissors @ 04/24/2003 3:11 AM EDT

HE-MAN: "This guy here…this is the guy right here…"
MAN-AT-ARMS: "Uh, He-Man…I think you’ve had enough…"
HE-MAN: "You don’t know me, man!"
TEELA: "Jesus, this happens at EVERY Christmas party!"
HE-MAN: "I’m sorry (sob)…so sorry. I love you so much Teela…"
TEELA: "Let go of my tits, you sicko!"

Ghosted by The Yeti @ 04/24/2003 9:12 AM EDT

No shit -

when I was 11, I saw my first childs play movie.  It was the second one.  I watched it with my mom, and even at 11, I knew how rediculously not scary it was.  It had it’s jump scenes, but it was still my buddy.  During a commercial break (it was on USA) my mom was able to sneak upstairs for a "cup of coffee" which losely translates to "scare the living fuck out of my kid for eternity."  What she did was take my "My Buddy" from my closet, and taped a real knife into his hand, she then covered him under the blankets in my bed, and returned downstairs to finish the movie.  The movie was over, I went upstairs, played a few rounds of Nintendo, and decided to turn in for the night.

I turned off all the lights, pulled back my covers, and saw that knife gleaming.  I totally freaked out.

I killed my mom that night, and burried her in the backyard.  It isn’t so funny now is it mom?!? IS IT?!?!? ISSSSSSSSSSSSS IT!

Ghosted by chad @ 04/24/2003 9:21 AM EDT

Considering that there was just an article about them, I thought people might like to see some weird coloured knock offs of Transformers cassettes. If nothing else, they’re a lot cheaper.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISA...=3128476886&category=4696

Good ol’ eBay. Cheers.

Ghosted by Sean. @ 04/24/2003 9:23 AM EDT

Marlena smuggling in the good stuff. . .next thing you know, they’re gonna pull Frostbite over with an open two-four in the trunk of the Snow Cat. Of course, when you have six missiles attached to your arctic assault half-track vehicle, you can probably intimidate a traffic cop out of a DUI ticket.

(Now I understand why my parents were angsty about me playing with "boy’s toys": they thought I’d spend my adult years making esoteric references to toys that were discontinued almost twenty years ago on other people’s blogs. Well, screw it — they should’a’ marketed better girl toys).

Ghosted by Molten @ 04/24/2003 10:07 AM EDT

If I weren’t high, that’d freak me out.

Ghosted by Mr. Peanut @ 04/24/2003 2:01 PM EDT

I think the big question is…who is that behind the mask.  The eyes dont have that half asleep "please god just kill me now" look we usually see in Matt’s eyes.

Ghosted by Gozer @ 04/24/2003 2:07 PM EDT

i’m afaraid. very afraid.

he-man never looked so menacing.

Ghosted by evin @ 04/24/2003 2:56 PM EDT

also: i have a feeling it is a child behind the mask, because the costume is obviously meant for kids, and whoever is behind it seems too small for it.

perhaps matt is actually a midget, and thus far has employed special camera techniques so as not to seem such? hmm?

Ghosted by evin @ 04/24/2003 2:58 PM EDT

Live-action Joe movie?
http://cinescape.com/0/editori...at_id=270338&obj_id=38408
Dolph Lundgren better play Duke.

Ghosted by Destro lotion @ 04/24/2003 3:50 PM EDT

i just got the entire wrapper off of a big cadbury egg in one piece! go me! and go drunken he-man!

Ghosted by ashley @ 04/24/2003 4:12 PM EDT

hey guys.  i just saw mayor mccheese dance the hustle in a VERY RECENT mcdonald’s video cassette.  i totally find cooler stuff at thrift stores than you.

Ghosted by pupitre @ 04/24/2003 7:11 PM EDT

Well aren’t you just the bee’s knees? I didn’t know shopping for useless junk was a competition, or I would have put on my special jumpsuit. What so hard about finding a "VERY RECENT" video? Why even go to the thrift store? Couldn’t you just go to the Golden Arches? @_@

Ghosted by good for you! hugs all around! @ 04/24/2003 7:32 PM EDT

who names themselves after a desk, anyway?

Ghosted by re: pupitre @ 04/24/2003 7:35 PM EDT

mmm.. yea i coulda, but i’m pretty sure it woulda cost more than the 50 CENTS THAT I PAID FOR IT OH YEA I ROCK!!!!!!

Ghosted by pupitre @ 04/24/2003 8:04 PM EDT

Does anyone else remember the Consumers store chain?  It was basically a waiting room with counters that had catalogs on them.  You would search through and get the code for the item you wanted and go to the cashier window.  They would have someone in the huge rear of the store then send up you item. 

This is the only link I could find for a Consumers Catalog:
http://www.yojoe.com/archive/ads/consumers89.shtml

Ghosted by Item #4507D @ 04/24/2003 8:04 PM EDT

who’s naming who’s self?  this isn’t a name, merely an online nickname.  i don’t go around with a "hi, my name is pupitre" sticker affixed to my shirt.

Ghosted by pupitre @ 04/24/2003 8:05 PM EDT

I know someone who always looks like that.

Ghosted by Lint @ 04/25/2003 10:15 AM EDT

I wore that costume for Halloween in Kindergarten…only without the booze.

Ghosted by Goggles Pizano @ 04/25/2003 12:33 PM EDT

If you do make X-E shirts Matt, may I suggest you go with this funny company.
http://www.tshirthell.com/

Ghosted by Stretchy @ 04/25/2003 3:01 PM EDT

is that the outfit you make your missus wear?

ho ho ho

i once had the skeletor armour and mask set.
it came with a tiny stadff though :(

Ghosted by tin man @ 04/25/2003 3:02 PM EDT

I used to love Consumers Distributing.  It was like ordering through a catalog only you got your stuff immediately.  No pushy sales clerks.  Without having to worry about displays they could pack alot of product into thier back warehouse.  If they advertised an item as being for sale they always had it.  I never left consumers empty handed as a kid.  You want a new Cobra Khan, BAM, there it is.  Snake Eyes version 3, CRACK, here ya go, Ewok Village playset. WHOOSH, all yours kid.
Not like today when you have to go to the manufacturers website just to find out whats available, then hit numerous Zellers, K-Marts, Wal-Marts and Sears(es) hoping to find the product you want.  I wonder where the business model fell apart on Consumers Dist.  No huge overhead in that business model.  It was an entire Department store that could be run by five people, three cashiers and two warehouse guys and it was impossible to shoplift in. 
CONSUMERS DISTRIBUTING RULES!!!  WHOO!!!  YAH!!!

Ghosted by the Goblin @ 04/25/2003 3:05 PM EDT

I’m a poor poor sheltered person.  this consumers distributing sounds like the holy grail I have almost always searched for!  The only problem is that you have to look through almost everything to find what you want, or just the lack of impulse buying.  That’s the only reason the big retailers beat everything else…impulse.  DAMN DIRTY HUMANS AND THIER BAD HABBITS!

Ghosted by brandon @ 04/25/2003 3:09 PM EDT

Consumers ruled!  We had one near us growing up.

I agree with Goblin; how’d it fail?

Ghosted by Atomic Punk @ 04/25/2003 3:49 PM EDT

I had the Hordak costume as a kid.

Hordak kicked all sorts of ass..

Ghosted by Bloodcat @ 04/25/2003 5:28 PM EDT

the "consumers" store sounds like englands "argos".

but in argos, you look in the catalogue, fill out the form, and when you get to the till you wait 15 minutes before the wanker behind the counter tells you theyve run out of what ever you were buying.

Ghosted by 'tin man @ 04/25/2003 7:25 PM EDT

HeMan: "Hey She-Ra,Hows about me and Yous get Naked and you can whip out the strap-on while i rub butter on my nipples.."

She-Ra: "Hmm..How about you put down the bottle and take off my panties Freak!…Thats the last time i let Man-O-Arms give you GAY lessons……."

Ghosted by HeMansAnigger @ 04/25/2003 7:36 PM EDT

Well, at least his breastplate is clearly labeled "He-man" so he can find it in the morning.

Ghosted by Black Zarak @ 04/25/2003 8:44 PM EDT

With all the chestplates in Eternia, nametags became essential.

Ghosted by Matt @ 04/25/2003 8:45 PM EDT

I also remember Consumers. My mom went there quite often and I used to browse the cataloges even if I wasn’t able to get anything. I think a good portion of my Star Wars collection from that time came from there. I miss it.

Ghosted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 04/25/2003 9:23 PM EDT

I guess for Teela the chestplate thing would be a quid pro quo- Tit for Tat, if you know what I mean. I guess with all those big-chested individuals it could be confusing… By the way she had such a lovely embroidery… golden rings of desire… "My, what lovely Teelas you have there my dear…"

Ghosted by BotchieGulpe @ 04/25/2003 9:43 PM EDT

Oona igna chowa neeha, oona igna chowa neeha, oona igna chowa neeha……

Ghosted by A. Bostic @ 04/26/2003 1:39 AM EDT

Clearly, this HAS to be the man who saved christmas…

Ghosted by A. Bostic @ 04/26/2003 1:41 AM EDT

Mexico’s Cultural Ambassador welcomes local high school students.

Ghosted by Hello, Monkey @ 04/26/2003 4:45 AM EDT

They have little computers in argos now that you can tap the number into and it tells you if its sold out or not now :D

Ghosted by MicroToastie @ 04/26/2003 8:51 AM EDT

I eat pickles!

Ghosted by Monkey Butt @ 04/26/2003 12:01 PM EDT

wow he-man and matt have reached a new low but since i’m here PASS THE BOTTLE!

Ghosted by I haven't seen the sun in 23 years @ 04/26/2003 1:21 PM EDT

interesting…

Ghosted by JerzeeGurrrrl @ 04/26/2003 4:01 PM EDT

Come on Teela..just one more shot.  You can trust me.  I’m the MASTER of the UNIVERSE…

Ghosted by JimNash @ 04/26/2003 4:01 PM EDT

Man, I hope He-man holds his tequila better than my friend Lily, if she spends anymore time with Jose…she’ll become Mrs. Cuervo by common law marriage…

Ghosted by whitemale_98 @ 04/26/2003 4:54 PM EDT

nametags ARE essential. i’m still trying to find my missing chestplate…i feel so lost without it.
hold me.

Ghosted by recruiting pants as we speak... @ 04/26/2003 5:51 PM EDT

I just got alcohol off my mind and then I look at stupid He-man with his god forsaken liquor. Oh to be 18… damn you all, bastards.

Ghosted by I need liquor @ 04/26/2003 8:15 PM EDT

OT: I’m seeing ads all around this site for the movie The Real Cancun, and I’m wondering if anybody has seen it already?  I’m looking for accounts of rowdy college students getting arrested for partying wildly on the beach.  If there’s a police presence anywhere in the film, then I shall forgoe this moviegoing experience.

Besides, why else should I get depressed over physically attractive people when I’m not enjoying myself with them?

Ghosted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 04/26/2003 8:28 PM EDT

Enough shots of this, Man-at-Arms, and you’ll think it is Teela, I have remarkably soft lips……………

Ghosted by Jason B @ 04/27/2003 7:05 PM EDT

I read that "The Real Cancun" is a real POS. And It pretty much looks like it. For those of us WITH attractive boyfriends, going to see a movie where a bunch of stupid teenagers blow eachother isn’t much entertaining. It’s like bad porno with a worse plot than usual.

Ghosted by Otaku Queen @ 04/27/2003 8:04 PM EDT

Boooo! it’s always about He-man, He-man this He-man that, how about a shot of drunken Skeletor, or Skeletor in bed with the hoe’s, Reow, Evil Lyn

Ghosted by Kharnifex @ 04/27/2003 11:52 PM EDT

Man, everything has gone all three dimensional. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that worm at the bottom of the bottle. I knew I shouldn’t have gone drinking with skeletor. Ah man, my teeth are fused together. What’s this here? It looks like She-Ra’s leotard. Oh dear lord no! Quickly check if I still have my furry undies on. Uh-oh, how do I explain THIS to Randor. Man I wish one of those dimensional portals that seem to be all over the place will just suck me up.

Ghosted by Thrawn @ 04/28/2003 6:16 AM EDT

Does He-Man fuk?

Ghosted by Suk it! @ 04/28/2003 10:50 AM EDT

As an excersize in advertising through nation building, Jose Cuervo bought an island nation, and changed the name to Cuervo Nation. The indiginous people are now gainfully (if cheaply) employed running all tourist related enterprises. Food and drunkards are shipped in on a regular basis to supply the economy.

Ghosted by Samsa @ 04/28/2003 11:19 AM EDT

Pheww. Did you leave an air biscut Orko? No wonder I need a belt.

Ghosted by DartardDan @ 04/28/2003 2:17 PM EDT

Dead things mikey, Dead things….

Ghosted by Jealous of an Idiot @ 04/28/2003 6:00 PM EDT

Tequila! More like… Quetila!

Ghosted by Andrew the Fish @ 04/28/2003 8:42 PM EDT

Or que - Teela

Ghosted by Gozer @ 04/28/2003 9:25 PM EDT

So it wasn’t the sword all along.  Skeletor should have been going after the tequila, the real source of Prince Adam’s powers, the whole time.  That’s a bottle of "Power of Grayskull" tequila, all the power with half the hangover.

Ghosted by Wishes for death @ 04/29/2003 4:40 AM EDT

haha i love this site

Ghosted by sarah @ 04/29/2003 10:17 AM EDT

……"C’mon Duncan, just a couple a’ sips and you’ll be right as rain!"

Ghosted by Joe @ 04/29/2003 7:50 PM EDT

Had that costume and the C-3PO one… used to cut the hell out of my tongue on the air slit when wearing the mask…

Ghosted by Aconite @ 04/30/2003 10:39 AM EDT

CONSUMERS DISTRIBUTING is SHIT. Where I live they would NEVER had what I wanted in stock, and I always had to QUEUE UP for 15 minutes just to be told that. They SUCK Man Willies man. Fuck them!!!

P.S.
And I saw the My Pet Monster Video when I was a kid. Can’t remember what happened in it though.

Ghosted by Master Betty @ 04/30/2003 11:46 AM EDT

C’mon guys, if your face looked like this you’d main-line tequila, too.

Battlecat… oh Baaaaaaaatlecat… c’mere boy, I got somethin for ya…

Ghosted by HaVoK @ 04/30/2003 12:44 PM EDT

Eyyeeeyyeyeyeyey Whachhhhhh!

Ghosted by Chosen One @ 04/30/2003 4:03 PM EDT

I know this is probably too late for anyone to read this, but, on the comments page for the Toys R’ Us catalogue article, I mentioned the Consumers Distributing catalogue as being a bigger and better book of Christmas dreams, since it literally had every toy in the store spread out over 50 pages. So, anyhow, it inspired me to do a Google search for "Consumers Distributing", and I can say I was surprised to see that it already had been mentioned many times in the comments page for a different article. I guess a lot of us Canadians around my age (born 1974) have fond Christmas anticipation memories centred around the Consumers Distributing catalogue.

Didn’t care much for the store itself, since it was an utterly inefficient way to go around buying things, having to write a form and then wait in line before you could even see the product for yourself (yes, I visited Britain once a year for several years for a while and I can confirm that it was exactly like Argos), and I was so happy when my local (Pincourt, Quebec) shopping centre finally got a Zellers in 1993, but, even as an adult, I still miss getting the catalogue in the mail every fall since the chain folded in 1996.

Ghosted by Steve Brandon @ 05/07/2003 12:35 PM EDT

Steve - do you remember the 49 cent Chuck Norris figures they always advertised during X-Mas season?  Bitches never had the thing.  False lead.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/07/2003 12:38 PM EDT

ssds

Ghosted by ssss @ 07/05/2004 12:40 PM EDT

My morning sun is a drug that brings me near… The drug being Old Crow & in close proximity to what, I know not.

Ghosted by Dead or Alive @ 09/05/2004 9:07 AM EDT

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