04/22/2003: Freddy’s Revenge.
X-E reviews
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy’s Revenge -
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Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Discussion Thread: 25 comments
Holy jeez I did it again. That’s two for two, and we’ve still got two eggs left. Actually, it’s not so difficult at all with a little patience — which I suspect many of you throw out the window in your hurry to get to the saccharine goo within that godly chocolate shell.
Posted by
Wes @ 04/23/2003 1:57 AM EDT
Uh…that was about the Cadbury eggs. But Freddy rocks too! I’d take a mini Freddy in need of assembly over the sweet sweet taste of unborn baby clucking rabbit goo anyday.
Posted by
Wes @ 04/23/2003 2:00 AM EDT
Great Article Matt!!! I laughed quite a few times. I’m a real fan of your horror movie articles, so please keep em coming.
Posted by
The Toxic Avenger @ 04/23/2003 2:00 AM EDT
You know, I never even pretended to care about Freddy. I took Jason every time when it came to the "who’s the true badass" argument.
What’s with the blogs being reversed? This confuses me(just like most forms of progress).
Posted by
Patty O'fuck it already! @ 04/23/2003 4:49 AM EDT
The Blogs are now readable Patty.
Unlike what most of those there Manga books seem to think, I being American, read left to right, top to bottom.
The Blog now reflects this. Whee.
On to the topic at hand…
Jason? Cmon!! Its ALL about Michael Myers. Scariest mofo in horror movies! (as far as slashers go) I still have the odd nightmare about the Shape..
Best damned music in a slasher flick too.. (Im such a geek I own the soundtrack..)
Freddy pretty much ALWAYS sucked though. He was just.. CORNY…
But we all know the Alien from, well, Alien would kick all their asses.. Between the brain chew, slashing claws and tail, ability to stalk and see without any visible eyes, and that nifty acid blood, slashers just don’t stand a chance. Heck, one facehugger, and its lights out. Other than Freddy, how many slasher villains are THAT smart and perceptive? Face over the egg, facehugger pops out.. gestate for a few days then BOOM! Super nearly unkillable slashler Alien…
Posted by
Bloodcat @ 04/23/2003 6:19 AM EDT
Must review Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning.
Matt could definitely put an X-E spin on this one.
Posted by
Avid Horror Fan @ 04/23/2003 11:12 AM EDT
I never understood why Freddy wasted his time scaring these brainless teenagers. Yeah, I know in the first film it was to get revenge on their parents, but after that…why?
If I were the evil undead with magical powers I would leave Elm street and go torture someone who was a challenge…like Michael Jackson. Imagine what it must take to scare THAT guy.
Posted by
kookie @ 04/23/2003 11:14 AM EDT
Awright, I’ll admit it: I loved Freddy. I haven’t seen the movies in years, but he cracked my shit up. Humour is an important quality in a man (said the chick who dates other chicks (yet who somehow didn’t pick up on the ‘HoYay’ in this movie — I was thirteen, what can I say?))
Anyway, I’m going on vague memories (refreshed by the article) here, but NOES II was a pretty craptacular stand-alone throw-away. Like the Silver Shamrock flic in the Hallowe’en epic ("I wanna see Jamie Lee’s tits! When will we see Jamie Lee’s tits!?"). It’s one of those movies that I try to pretend never happened. Now, I’m all over the first one, and like any decent human being, NOES III: Dream Warriors is one of my favourites (maybe it’s the Zsa Zsa camp factor that appeals to my gay-man-in-a-chick’s-body thing; fuckit, I dunno, but the When TVs Hit Back segment was classic).
Either way, I still love Freddy. He may not have been as bad ass as the rest, but he had some funny moments. I think that Freddy definitely picked up as a character AFTER this episode, though. And not just because we were able to see him in all of his toasty glory.
Also, anyone else play the NES NOES cartridge? I owned it. It was one of the first games I was able to beat without the help of a Genie. I remember one of the funny things about the game was that you *wanted* to stay asleep so that you could keep being a cooler alternate character (the acrobat, the magician or the ninja). Thank God for the magic of roms, because I don’t think I’d be able to blow on that sucker’s elements enough to get the cartridge working again.
Anyway, great work as always, Matt!
Posted by
Molten @ 04/23/2003 11:20 AM EDT
Hey kookie — now that I think of it, wasn’t part of the mythology that Krueger liked to lure little kids into his basement? (Aw man, that’s not so cool :/ ).
He’d probably just sit around and compare notes with Michael Jackson. Stockpile of kiddy candy lures? Yep. Fucked up face? Yep. But at least mine was accidental, Michael; what’s your excuse?
Posted by
Molten @ 04/23/2003 11:24 AM EDT
I ate something at a Pizza Hutt that looked like The Fredster once… and like Freddy, it tore a big freaking hole in my stomach. "Clean up to aisle three." I then went promptly home where I dreamed I worked at a 7-11 with Jim Varney, and Sally Fields while Jason Voorhees stalked us around the store. We finally defeated him when Mrs. Fields jammed his head into the slushi machine and all the maggots(?) in the store left from feasting on their ZAGNUTs and devoured Jason’s rotting corspe. Weird dream. Oh yeah, and for some reason, throughout the whole situation, no matter how close to death we came, we were always complaining about the price of cigarettes being too "dern" high.
Posted by
BotchieGulpe @ 04/23/2003 12:32 PM EDT
They were going to make Freddy a child molester at first, but there was a case that had just happened with parents killing a child molester vigilante style, so they changed Freddy from a child molester to a child killer to avoid comparisons to the case.
Its in the book Screams and Nightmares, which analyzes Craven films…
Posted by
Casey Jones @ 04/23/2003 1:15 PM EDT
I like pants!
Posted by
Koz @ 04/23/2003 1:19 PM EDT
Some FREDDY VS. JASON News And Another Test Screening Review:
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=15032
Posted by
Mike Myers @ 04/23/2003 2:00 PM EDT
My friend was talking about FvsJ yesterday, said it was going to be great by all accounts. This one’s been a long time in the making, I can’t wait.
Posted by
Matt @ 04/23/2003 2:01 PM EDT
In one of the flicks, I think it was Dream Warriors. Freddy tells one of the kids that "souls of children give me strength". That may answer the "why children" question. And since we’re still on a Cadbury’s kick, we should clamor for a Cadbury’r cream Freddy head. You just crack open his head like he does to show Jesse his braim.
Posted by
Gozer @ 04/23/2003 2:49 PM EDT
Now I’m the one who needs to use spellcheck
Posted by
Gozer @ 04/23/2003 2:51 PM EDT
I think that I prefer the previous blog style. I started from the bottom out of habit and was very confused.
This is completely off topic, but I can’t hold off any longer. Does anyone remember a television show that aired on the Fox network years back that centered on the adventured of Peter Pan? NO ONE else seems to remember this show, but I know it existed.
UPDATE: I have found it! It was called Fox’s Peter Pan & The Pirates, and it even had an NES game ($1.99 on Ebay!) and action figures. Matt, it would be awesome if you did something on this show. I cannot be the only person on the planet with fond memories of it.
*as an aside* Does anyone recall the name of the Pound Puppies/Wuzzles rip off about a bunch of pet store animals that disguised themselves as other animals to get adopted? I had a stuffed cat that turned into a bunny rabbit.
Posted by
so many questions... @ 04/23/2003 3:44 PM EDT
Holy Moley macaroli. Guess who does that voice of Captain James Hook on the above mentioned cartoon? That’s right, everyone’s favorite sweet transvestite:
TIM CURRY
I am now making it my personal quest to get ahold of episodes of this show so I can send them in so Matt can tear the roof off the sucka.
Posted by
jthm @ 04/23/2003 3:52 PM EDT
Okay; now the Freddy mythology is starting to come back to me. I’m glad he’s not nearly as scary as Michael Jackson.
My g/f and I want to watch the whole NOES and Friday the 13th movies before Freddy vs. Jason comes out. She’s never seen either series, and I haven’t seen F13th. I dunno if I wanna just buy the DVD set of NOES, though: it’s only, like, $70 CAN, but, though I know I loved these flics ten years ago, I haven’t seen most of them since then. Anyone have these old horror movie DVD sets? They worthwhile or am I better off buying lingerie and maybe having actual sex instead of watching awkward teens fumble around on camera? (For most people that’d probably be the question that answers itself, hunh?)
And of course, then there’ll be the inevitable "living my life vicariously through other people’s dialogue" thing. "I said where’s the fucking bourbon, bitch?" "He means have you ever dropped me on my head." "If it were any more quiet, we could hear owls farting." See? Starting already.
Posted by
Molten @ 04/23/2003 4:11 PM EDT
Watching both of the serieseseses in full? That’ll take a while. :) Which would you start with? I think I’d have to go with Freddy - at least his movies are kinda different from one another.
Posted by
Matt @ 04/23/2003 4:14 PM EDT
So many questions… "Scubber-De-Gulleon!" Oh yeah, Cap’s hair looked like Eggs Rolls… I loved that show! "Smythe!"
Posted by
BotchieGulpe @ 04/23/2003 4:28 PM EDT
Until today, I literally thought that I had created the memory of the Pan show. (Just like how I thought I could fly when I was a kid) I’m literally ecstatic that I didn’t make it up. If anybody sees any episodes for sale or anything, don’t keep it a secret. ^_~
Posted by
oh yeah @ 04/23/2003 7:32 PM EDT
"Peter Pan and the Pirates" (counting on my so-called memory) was the first cartoon for Fox Network’s kids lineup and was supposed to be a serious fantasy adventure show. This was my first viewing of Tim Curry (at least in a voice acting role) and he did a fantastic job! He’s that good.
Personally, I’ve never been into slasher movies myself. Gore just doesn’t impress me. (Not Al, although he doesn’t impress me, either.:) I do recall a Nightmare on Elm Street series and I did watch Englund (who seems to enjoy playing bad guys) on Nightmare Cafe, but I’m not sure if he was a good guy or not. I think he was a semi-host for the show, but as a character who pretty much put patrons and employees through hell. He was also a villain on Knight Rider once.
Posted by
ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 04/23/2003 8:30 PM EDT
There are a few episodes availible on Amazon of Peter Pan, but not many.
Posted by
i can fly... @ 04/24/2003 2:04 PM EDT
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