Saturday night was no fun. In my failed attempt to adjust to a stick shiftin' car, I gradually wore down my clutch, finally culminating with me and the woman breaking down at around exit 135 on the Garden State. In the middle of the night. With no candy. The car had an old phone, but the only number I could actually dial on it was '911.' The cops hooked me up with a tow truck, who brought us to a nearby Hilton. Keep in mind, I didn't have a cent on me. Couldn't even tip the poor guy, and he certainly looked like someone who didn't get tipped. So, we waltzed into the Hilton looking about as Hilton-like as a dog's ass, and wouldn't you know it - we stumbled in right when the hotel's night club was letting everyone out for the evening. The people who came out were a bunch of rich, drunken dickheads, so we took to hiding behind large fake plants until our ride came. Not a fun night, but at least the guy running the hotel check-in desk looked like the guy who gave Kevin two Turtle Doves in Home Alone 2.

Fixing the car, which is still in that hotel's parking lot, will likely cost 500-800 bucks. To try to raise funds, I'm selling off 20.00 lots of old collectibles. Each lot contains two Gremlins book-and-record sets, plus an old E.T. book about COLORS! Follow the provided link if you're interested. I've already got the first batch of orders ready for shipment.

Going back to this blog post, you might remember my strange fascination with a Ghoulies 2 inflatable toilet that was on eBay a while back. Luckily, I was able to find another, and didn't pass up on the opportunity this time around....

Isn't that just the coolest thing you've ever seen? I become so cheerful every time I look at it. The inflatable toilet is the Helen Hunt pocket watch to my Tom Hanks flashlight. Everyone in the world should have one of these. I'll be back with more later - we hit the thrifts last week, and I've got some interesting photos of half-eaten wrestling action figures and a neat thermos to show you. Before that, I've got to write tomorrow's article. It's about Presto Magix, which should excite the four of you who remember what Presto Magix kits are. The rest of you will just have to feign excitement and wing it. Got it?